Normandy-Medbay
"I'm what?!" Abigail Shepard said with a mixture of awe and wonder, but she couldn't help the spike of fear that was exploding in her chest.
"Pregnant, there is little doubt….so I assume I should congratulate James then?"Chakwas said wryly.
Abby rolled her eyes, "as usual that is up to your fine medical judgment."
Chakwas smirked.
Shepard sighed crossing her arms over her chest, her thoughts racing. This was after all, the first physical she had since she had threatened the CMO several weeks ago. Before coming to my senses her mind added needlessly. And now the news slammed into her that she was pregnant. That she had a new life growing inside her, a new human life.
Must've happened the last time James and I came together, that bout of forgiveness….after Cameron had knocked some sense into me.
Her shoulders slumped, she could not feel more alone and selfish at her acts. Her need for love and reaffirmation after her insanity had now put another living being in danger.
"What do I do Karin?" She asked the Doctor's first name, not as a Commanding Officer, not as a member of any military organization, but as a friend. "Damn it," her eyes crossed, "how can I put myself in danger knowing, now, that by doing so I could be risking someone else's life in the process?"
"Well, I am trained, we could always…"
"No," Abby shook her head emphatically, "out of the question."
Chakwas sighed and leaned back into her chair, "Good, not something I wanted to do. I don't envy you your choice. I am too old to consider giving birth and I never found the time to do it in my career." She bit her lip, "but I suppose if I did I wouldn't find it any easier. Even though I am a doctor I am an Alliance Doctor. Serving on front line war ships as often as I can, putting myself in almost as much danger as you do out in the field. Just I have a cage of metal and steel, of kinetic barriers and stealth systems, to protect me."
"I think you let that get away from you." Abby teased.
The doctor grinned, "I suppose I did. The point is that I am not qualified to make that kind of a judgment. Only you are."
Abigail arched an eyebrow just into her growing red hair I am going to have to get that cut, "but I value your advice."
Chakwas sighed, got up promptly, and moved to hold Abby in an arm's length embrace at the shoulders, peering into her eyes, gray into blue. "True. And my advice is this: Despite what I said in the beginning, despite the doubts I had about your physical condition, still have, my experience and life has proven to me that we need someone like you. You are the only one who can unite the races to save Earth and liberate it, you've done so before."
"Yeah," Abigail smirked, "but half of those races were races that sort of liked me…or at least races that I haven't dropped any planets on. Now this time?" Abigail shrugged, "The batarians, the Krogan, and others."
Chakwas sighed, "You freed the Krogan from the genophage and gave the Geth sentience…they like you."
"But what about the Batarians?" Abigail pointed out.
"I think that's the point, you don't care. You fraught the Batarians at Torfan, Terra Nova, and Aratoht, yet despite all of that you were willing to work with them. And made them work with you. With all that bad blood and history most people would've ended up dead or ended in a firefight between the people you were trying to save, but you? You allowed them to work with you. I couldn't do that, Garrus couldn't do that, hell I doubt your doppelganger could."
"He probably did." Abigail pointed out wryly.
"But not here." Karin emphasized.
Abigail nodded bleakly, "So you are saying that I need to fight the good fight because no one else can."
The doctor nodded, "I know. But we will just have to hope and pray that both of you will make it out of this unscathed."
Abigail choked halfway between derision and amusement, "My luck hasn't ever been the best." She pointed out.
"True. But honestly Shepard you will be making decisions for this kid, some of them life and death, for many years to come. Might as well get used to the fact."
Abigail's eyes wandered the med bay, ran right over to where Cynthia was lying across Paul's chest. She jutted her chin out pointing before whispering, "How is he?"
Chakwas sighed moving to join her, "he'll live, that was at least the result of the surgery. But…I doubt he'll walk again. The sword severed right through his tissue connecting his legs to his central nervous system."
"Isn't there anything you can do for him?" Abigail asked trying to keep her voice level.
"I've tried regenerating his tissue but…whatever his sword is made of has proven resistant even to that. Some sick freak must've invented it." Karin added with disgust.
Abigail's eyebrows shot up at her tone.
Her eyes, however, wandered over to the other bed, "And Jameson?"
Karin shrugged, "As you know with the Leviathan's hard to say. We can't duplicate the process we used with you and Miranda because it wouldn't be necessary given the differences in the two processes. In some ways they are fundamentally different, in others, not so much. Either way the only way we will be sure she is free from their control is when we wake her up. And even then we won't know if she won't fall under their sway when exposed to them, or are just faking it."
"We'll see but I can probably tell," She stated dramatically.
"Oh?" Chakwas asked.
Abby nodded, "I know her."
"Knew her," Chakwas added.
"Right," Abigail muttered, "but still it is worth the risk, we need to get her back, see if she is in there at all. Maybe we can learn something, the fleet, the disposition, she could have valuable intelligence we may need for our attack."
"Or not," Karin pointed out, expressing her knowledge of the Leviathan's.
"Or not, but in which case we could learn she doesn't have any information."
Karin Chakwas nodded grimly.
"So wake her up."
Her eyes widened, "now?"
Abigail shrugged, "The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can move on with our lives and kick Soren off of his pearly throne."
The Normandy CMO moved to pick up a syringe from her medical container and then placed it in the Admiral's shoulder, whose eyes almost instantly fluttered open, then opened with a start as she began glancing around the medical bay.
"Where am I?" She asked the ceilings, her eyes fluttering over to Shepard. "Shepard? My God what have I done?"
Shepard crossed her arms over her chest, "What is the last thing you remember?"
"Not sure," The Admiral murmured, tears welling up in her eyes, "just flashes mostly. Oh God what have I done?" She wailed.
Shepard felt her heart twist in a knot watching the woman realize that something was wrong. She was trying to puzzle it out, maybe having some clue what she had done, but the last thing she probably remembered was sitting in an office somewhere and just, nothing.
"Courtney," Abby said her voice soft, "What do you remember?"
Admiral Jameson shuttered and closed her eyes slowly, "I don't know. I was called in for a meeting with Soren…then suddenly we were talking about how to use the Special Forces as an emergency response team to head off civil unrest…but something in his voice…made it sound so real, and not hypothetical. But as he continued I found myself agreeing with him, and cold darkness…after that? I don't know. Just flashes."
Abigail sighed, "I'll be back in, or EDI, Miranda, and Liara might stop in…if you remember anything."
She nodded, "I'll try."
Shepard began to turn away; she had ten meetings and a bunch of things to consider.
"And Shepard," Abby turned around at the further appellation, "bring this bastard down."
Abby grinned thinly, "that, I am sure I can manage." The door closed behind her, "One way or another."
War Room
"What did I miss?" Abigail said running down into the pit. "Anything interesting to report?"
"Salvage yards on Omega, been building and designing the anti- Leviathan technology we'll deploy on Earth." Palin explained.
Abigail nodded to him and Traynor began to manipulate the controls. A small metal sphere with spikes sticking out of his revolved around the table, this happened ever quicker as a small dish appeared on the top of the platform and then a series of circles appeared on top of it.
"Dramatic much?" Abby turned to Palin.
"Thought primitive visual aids could be effective in explaining function." Palin sniffed.
Abigail smirked.
"What do they do?"
Palin sniffed, his eyes widened, "they transmit a white noise signal on the same energy patterns as the Leviathan's. Blocks it out, jams it, and prevents them from manipulating anyone within a certain radius."
"And that radius is?" Beck asked.
"Six hundred kilometers." Palin reported via memory.
"I hope you know that Earth is big," Beck said sarcastically, "this just can't be solved with one or two of these things."
"Why Omega resources are being devoted singularly into this project," Palin smirked.
"Sounds like we need time," Abigail murmured ending any other potential debate.
"Time we still have." Cameron added, "Well time and forces."
"Right, time we have, forces we need." Abigail agreed.
"Captain?" Garrus asked.
"We've received a message, it was from the Krogan, and they've requested a meeting." Traynor piped in.
"And we need their forces if we are to have any chance in hell of pulling this off."
"Why?" Beck asked, "If this device works as advertised then all we have to do is deploy it then watch the whole planet heal itself."
"It's not that simple," Shepard cut in.
"We don't know which parts in the Alliance or any of the other Governments are active collaborators." Garrus muttered. "Even if most of the planet and the Government is being controlled we do not know if there aren't others who aren't, or if they will still follow orders regardless."
"And," Abby shot Garrus a smile, "This is only a temporary solution, eventually the Leviathans will figure out how to reassert control, we need to secure the planet, and that means we need forces."
Beck snorted, "Right, sounds like we need a freaking army."
Shepard smirked, "Well the Krogan certainly qualify. Either way before we can decide anything else, we need to figure out what forces we have."
"And getting more races and governments on board could convince the Geth and Qurians to send additional forces." Miranda pointed out.
"So we need a war summit," Cameron stated.
"Fun," Abigail agreed, "coordinate between the Krogan, we'll send just enough forces to break any blockade, and meet with any Krogan leadership, Batarians, then we make the plans for Earth."
"So Shepard, same old same old, playing nursemaid to the politicians again?" Ashley grinned.
"Hey," She shrugged, "someone's got to do it."
Several of her crew snickered around her, she shared the moment and the joke, fortunately it was not like she had to do a war summit in a long time, or that often, but again she was the one who would probably have to pull it all together. At least Tuchanka should be kinda friendly.
"Alright, we have our orders, set the meeting up, and we'll get there." She turned to Traynor.
"Yes ma'am."
"Dismissed."
The crew filled out.
…
"You wanted to see me?" She asked General Beck as she walked into the command pit.
"Yeah," The general straightened by his spot, turning to her, "I assume you will want me to coordinate the ground teams."
"I would think that would be obvious in the circumstance, or at least until I can find a big, brutish, Krogan warlord, who can just scare anyone who crosses his path." She added with a growing smirk.
"I suggest you find someone else." He said his back stiffening further.
"Is there a reason why or am I just going to have to beat it out of you?" She replied frowning.
The General sighed and turned to face the war room hologram, "this is…not something I trained for, exactly."
"I don't think this is something any of us have trained for exactly," Her voice grew gentle as she stepped next to him, something is wrong.
"No, any of this, I was only given this position three months ago."
"OK…"Abby edged him on wanting him to fill in the point on his own.
"And five years before that I was in the reserves, on Earth, my regular job was as a disk jockey, I joined up and became a clerk, a Major for the 4th Division, a clerk. But then the war happened."
"Then the war happened," Abigail agreed, her heart crashing a little, she finally beginning to understand his point and where he was coming from.
He sighed, "Yeah, I went from making jokes and poking fun at celebrities to fighting for my life daily. I mean I wanted to join up, I wanted to do my patriotic duty, and serve the Alliance, but to go from that to this?" He winced. "And all because of the war. With the war people retired or were killed in droves, entire sections of the brass, just wiped out, anyone with any combat experience, veterans of the First Contact War, or front line officers during the Skyllian Blitz, most of them retired or dead. So they needed officers with 'front line' combat experience desperately. And I got tapped; I went from a Major to a General, to a Division Commander in a couple of years."
"And you don't think you can handle it?" Abigail murmured touching his arm.
"Yeah, it's something to take on politicians or societal problems with barbed words, quite another when your targets can shoot back with beams of molten metal." Beck explained wryly.
She sighed, "Look I don't have all the answers to these problems but I've been there."
"You have?" Beck said incredulously.
She nodded, "Just out of the N7s, they gave me my own squad. My personal team to serve at my every discretion. About eight men and women who relied on me to get the job done. Then Torfan happened, and then I was given even more responsibility because of my rank and my 'expertise'."
Beck nodded and waved with his hand.
"And then they died, well most of them. A step back. I had completed my mission and was publically honored for it, but in secret they set me back, put me on a secret assignment under personal tutelage."
"OK, but then what?" Beck asked curious.
She smiled at the implied question. "Then three years later I was assigned to the Normandy SR-1, as first officer. But as you know I quickly became its Captain. My first command, after I had commanded just one squad on one mission, was commanding an advanced Alliance Warship, responsible for all the lives aboard her. Three Years, less than your five."
He frowned, "Alright, but how does this help my problem?"
"I thought I was ready for command, in some ways I was eager, sure I thought long and hard about joining the N7s, but command, after I had proven myself, was easy, just keep your distance and lead. But I failed, or nearly so, it was nearly a disaster. Then my first command after that I took on even more responsibility. Because of what happened at Torfan I was nervous, unsure, waiting for the other shoe to drop, not sure I can do it."
"But?"
"But I'm here, I survived. When you command it's like any other job, you do your best, put your best foot forward, you succeed, or you fail. But if you live you just pick yourself up, learn, and try again." Abigail said.
"Failure is not an option here," Beck smirked wryly.
"Think that and we've already lost," Abigail snapped, "the only ultimate failure is your death or someone taking away your ability to fight. If you can still fight, then you can always wake up another day and try and kill the bad guys, to defeat them. And only you can do this, the fact you are concerned is proof of your dedication, of your fitness to lead."
"Alright," Beck nodded, "thanks for the pep talk."
…
"Yoda had it wrong. I know not the thing you would expect from serious geo political commentary. But there is such a thing as try, there is such a thing as to strive and do. For if you did not put any effort into it, if you did not wake up and get over yourself and your past, and then you would not get anything done.
Succeed or fail that is not really the point, the point is that each day you go, then there is always something to do, and each day you can pick yourself up and continue is one more day you can succeed.
Because if we don't do this then we leave our fate up to different people, beyond us, above us, and they will exploit our lack of effort."