Alright, Here We go Guys! Part 4...This Is Almost Over And I'm Quite Sad About That. Anyways, Hope You All Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Keith Or Natalie, Or Raff; I Only Own The Idea Of This Fic
A Concrete Goal
Part 4
Month 3
After two weeks, he was finally able to go back to school. He looks over at the calendar and sees that he's lost a lot of time. It's March 3 already.
Throwing on a pair of pants and a shirt, he heads out to his truck, wondering how he will ever make up for the lost time. He goes through the motions, not even trying to pay attention.
He'd gotten Natalie's notes for Chemistry, as well as his other assignments from his other classes. He smiled thinking about the elegant scrawl she used. Before Chemistry, the past two weeks caught up with him.
He manages to find an empty bathroom in time to throw up. He coughs and spits into the toilet, breathing heavily. He flushes and sits there for a few minutes, eventually standing and rinsing his mouth out with water. He splashes some water on his face and looks into the mirror. He'd gotten paler and the shadows underneath his eyes were more prominent. With a sigh, he pops a few Tic-tacs in his mouth, letting the soothing mint calm his stomach.
When he opens the door to Chemistry, he sees everyone is taking a quiz.
"Oh, a quiz! Sweet," he says. "Thanks, Walt," he says, taking a quiz from his hands. He goes over and sits next to her, seeing how her eyes dart up to his face. He finishes the quiz in record time and, when the bell rings, he is putting things in his locker when she comes up to him, holding his jacket. "Oh, hey partner," he comments."
"Where were you the last two weeks?" She demands.
"Two weeks? You mean, you actually come here every day?"
"Don't joke around. There's something wrong with you, isn't there?" He winces. She didn't hold her punches.
"With me, sure. Definitely with you. But these sexy freshmen right here," he says, pretending to check out a girl who walks past.
"What? Are you depressed or something?"
"Depressed? Yea, sure, I'll throw it out there. Chicks dig it."
"I'm being serious," she says.
"Right...Never works, partner."
"You could have told me," she says, holding up his jacket and the bottle of pills. He takes them from her.
"Told you what?" He asks, hating how she knows a part of him.
"That you, had a problem," she says. He laughs and closes his locker, meeting her eyes. He snatches the jacket and pills from her.
"You have no idea," he says. Just then, Rafael chooses this moment to come up to them.
"What's going on?" He asks. Natalie hardens and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Hey, Raff," she says. He gives her a look and she bites her lip, looking down. What the hell happened while he was away?
"The jacket," he continues, as if she'd never spoken.
"You like it? I got it from K-mart," he says and Marquez glares at him.
"I-I was cold, and he lent it to me," she says. It was the truth, but the look on Marquez's face was full of doubt.
"Come on, you don't expect him to believe that, do you?" He asks. "See, Raff, we're part of this super top-secret jacket smuggling ring. Now, I can't make any promises, but if you keep quiet, I'm sure there's a fleece in there somewhere for you."
"Does it look like I'm talking to you?" He demands.
"Hey, don't get mad at me, man. I don't create the demand, I just supply it."
"Shut the hell up," he says, taking a step closer.
"Raff," Natalie says, finding her voice. "It's just a jacket. That's it." He turns his glare on her.
"This is bullshit," he tells her and storms off. She sighs and gives me a small smile before taking off after him.
"Marquez, it was a joke," he says, sighing and shaking his head.
ooo
When school ends, he is walking towards his truck when he hears her calling his name.
"Why did you choose me to be your lab partner?" She demands. He laughs.
"Me?" Because I wanted to take you down...I wanted to get to know you...
"Don't bullshit me, Miles told me," she says and he shakes his head, continuing to walk.
"He's CIA, ya can't trust them." She grabs ahold of his arm and pulls him to a stop, turning him.
"Where do you live?"
"What?" He demands.
"Where do you live? You lied about it," she said.
"Are you losin' it, partner?"
"You lie about everything!"
"Cause you know what? I got some great pills you could take...But I guess you already knew that," he says and turns, ignoring her hurtful gasp.
When he gets in his truck, he slams his hand on the dashboard.
"Shit," he curses, leaning back against the headrest. He starts the truck and drives around the city before heading home. He wonders how long it'll take her to search for his real address. He was actually surprised that she'd gone to the house he'd said was his.
The next day, when he gets to Chemistry, he smiles to himself when he hears that she'd been suspended. And when he goes to his newly repaired locker, he knows why. She broke into his locker. He couldn't stop the flush of admiration and stubbornness she possessed. He knew that he wouldn't see her for at least a week, and the thought made him sad. Jesus, he really needed to get a hold of himself.
ooo
She ignored her parents and their yelling. She ignored Raff's arguments and accusations. She ignored Brooke's complaining and bitchiness. But most of all, she ignored the part of her that said Keith was bad news. She couldn't help it. She knew there was more to him, especially now that she knew he wasn't as carefree as he pretended.
She desperately wanted to go to his house, but talked herself out of it dozens of times.
When her parents finally agreed to let her go out Friday, she wasn't sure of where she wanted to go. So, she drove to a town over and went into a store, searching around until she found what she needed. She smiles as she holds the pair of die in her hands. It's a cheesy gift, but one she knows he'll understand.
She's not sure when she'll give it to him, but she wraps it in a box and places it in her backseat.
She gets up around 4:00am on Saturday and grabs her workout clothes and puts them on, strapping her iPod to her arm and lacing up her sneakers. She clicks through her music until she finds the right one. And with that, she heads outside, jogging down the sidewalk. The cold morning air is soothing to her flushed skin, and the darkness around her comforts her hurting heart.
Somehow, she manages to run right by Keith's house. Just as she passes by, a yellow truck pulls out of the driveway. She forces herself to run faster, ignoring the urge to stop and run to the comfort of the truck. Tears fall from her eyes and she lets them, watching her vision blur. At one point she stops and sinks to her knees, letting the sobs overtake her.
She'd never felt anything so painful before. It was like there's a gaping hole in her chest that tore a bit more each day. Picking up a rock, she throws it, watching it soar through the air until it lands down the street, rolling to a stop.
ooo
He watched her run past him. He almost hoped that she would stop, but felt a little glad when she didn't. He forced himself not to follow her, instead driving to the cliff. There, he layed in silence, watching the sun slowly start to come up over the horizon.
There was something amazing about the sunrise. The way everything slowly came back to life and, where there was black, color stood out. Before his mother had passed, they had watched the sunrise together. Every once in a while he would watch it, to remind himself of her.
Once the sun was overhead, he drove back to his house, going to his room and throwing on an old, oil-stained shirt. He walks back outside and sees his father working on the other truck. He gives him a smile and they follow in their old routine.
ooo
She wakes up on Monday, March 10, wishing she could go back to sleep. After her breakdown Saturday, she'd lain in bed all weekend, refusing to go to practice.
There was no going back to sleep now, unfortunately.
With a sigh, she takes a shower and dresses in her jeans and a T-shirt. She pulls her hair back in a ponytail and brushes her teeth. She walks downstairs, careful to not let her parents know she's awake. She finds her keys and goes outside, her book bag in tow.
She lets the car back out of the driveway silently, waiting until she is on the road to start it. When she pulls into the parking lot, she is over a half hour early. So, she sits in her car and waits. She sees the café where they got breakfast and a small smile crosses her face.
When more people show up, and she decides it is safe enough, she gets out of the car and locks it behind her.
"Welcome back, bad girl," a kid says to her. She grits her teeth and continues walking.
People stare at her as she walks by, and she pretends not to notice them.
By time Chemistry rolls around, she is about ready to scream. She sits in class, drawing in her notebook, trying to ignore the stares from other people. Keith says nothing, only doing the work. It's almost as if he can sense how she feels, she muses to herself. When she looks up at one point, he flashes her a small smile that confirms it.
If possible, her heart melts a bit more.
The bell rings before she realizes it and soon she is on her way home.
Raff calls her later and she answers reluctantly.
"Hello?" She asks.
"Hey, Natalie," he says and he sounds reserved.
"Look, I'm sorry about the way I've acted. How about next weekend we do something special, alright?" She smiles a little.
"Sure. Sounds...fun."
"Cool. My parents won't be home, so it'll be just us." She wonders at the bad feeling she gets in her stomach, but pushes it off.
"Cool."
"Alright, bye."
"Bye."
She chews on her lip, and looks over at the carburetor on her desk. With a sigh, she goes over to it and opens the instructions, glad for some sort of distraction.
ooo
Friday night, a party is going on. Brooke, reluctantly it seems, invited her and Raff.
When she gets there, Brooke comes up to her.
"Guess where I'm going to be next year!" She says.
"Notre Dame?" She nods and they squeal and hug.
"I'm sorry for being so bitchy, Natalie. Still friends?" She asks. She nods.
"Still friends. Come on, let's go celebrate!" They cheer and walk into the house, finding an open space and start dancing. There is alcohol around the kitchen and someone hands her a drink. She takes it, but doesn't drink it.
After a while, she heads home, feeling hollow as the adrenaline fades out of her. Turns out, reality does settle back in faster than one would think.
She goes over to her mirror and looks at her face and body. Her jeans are a bit looser than what they originally were, so she guesses that's a good thing.
When Monday finally comes back, she sees that it is March 17. It'd been three months and it hardly felt like it.
She goes to school and goes through the motions of pretending once again.
Wednesday night, Keith picks her up and they go to the cliff, just laying in the bed of the truck without speaking.
"Do you ever feel like your life isn't really your life?" She asks quietly. He turns his head to look at her.
"I don't know, partner." She is almost shocked at how...not sarcastic he sounds.
"So, how did your date go for Valentine's Day?" She asks, making him chuckle.
"Well, she got her pipes cleaned out, if that's what you mean," he says and she laughs.
The sound is strange to her after having gone so long without doing it. She closes her eyes and smiles, enjoying the moment.
Too bad she didn't realize how precious that moment was.
ooo
He watched her throughout the week, seeing how skinny she'd gotten. Did she even realize it? Wednesday when they hung out, it felt familiar and yet surreal. They'd gone to the cliff and talked. He wondered if she ever thought about the kiss they'd shared, so long ago it seemed.
Friday he sees how nervous she is, and wonders what could be wrong. There isn't time to talk in class, and she is out the door before he can catch her.
With a sigh, he heads home until it's time to go to the cliff. He smirks to himself. With a shake of his head, he dons his jacket and heads out, feeling a cloud of darkness sweep through him. The pouring rain had finally stopped and was now a light mist. A bad premonition hits him and he shakes it off.
ooo
She sat on pins and needles while she waited for him to pick her up that Friday. She looks over at her calendar and sees that it is now March 21. When the doorbell rings, she gets up and walks to the door shakily. He offers her a smile and a bouquet of flowers.
"They're pretty," she replies. They walk to his car and head to his house.
She gasps when she sees the candles around the room, lit and sending a soothing aroma.
"Do you like it?" He asks and she nods.
He motions her to a small table and brings out dinner, some kind of pasta. They eat and make small talk. The food is delicious, as is the spanish drink he prepared. She swore there was alcohol in it, but he laughed and shook his head.
She missed the mischievous glint in his eye.
After a little while, they ended up on the couch, kissing. She was fine when he unbuttoned the button on her jeans and was stroking her stomach, but tensed when he hands tried to go higher.
Her brain became fuzzy and her tongue felt heavy. She pulls his hand down to her waist and he lets it stay there, but after a couple of minutes, it snakes its way up to the underside of her bra.
"No," she mumbles, forcing her tongue to work. He obliges, but a few more minutes later, after he has her shirt off and she is in her tank top, he tries it again. "Raff, no," she tells him. He moves so he is half on top of her and kisses her so deeply that she can't speak, can't move. His hand snakes under her bra and she tenses, trying to pull his hand away.
(Warning...This is a kinda violent scene)
He grabs both of her hands by the wrist in one of his and holds them above her head. A cold feeling settles over her and she tries to pulls her hands away, but his grip tightens. Frustrated, and a little scared, she manages to break away from the kiss.
"Raff...w-what...are you doing?" She asks and he tries to kiss her again.
"Come on, babe. Isn't this special?" He asks.
"I'm not ready," she pleads, and his hand tightens, making her whimper. "What did you put in my drink?" She asks, tears forming.
"Something to relax you," he responds, his hand that isn't holding her moving down to the hem of her jeans, slowly trying to pull them down. She begins to struggle.
"Raff, please, stop," she whispers, but he pays her no attention, kissing her neck. "Raff, I said stop," she says, managing to bring up a knee to his groin. He groans and falls onto the floor. She tries to get up, but he grabs her and pins her down on the floor. Fear paralyzes her.
"Did I say you could go?" He demands. She whimpers. He kisses her neck and she struggles even harder. She finds something hard and hits him against the head with it. His shock would have been funny if she'd been sober. managing to get up once more, she stands and tries to make her way out. he grabs her by the hair and slams her against the wall, making her cry out. "Where do you think you're going?" He yells, grabbing her by the face. "You've made me wait months, Nat. No more," he says, mostly to himself.
"Get off of me," she cries weakly, trying to push him off of her. He yanks her head back and she screams. He rips her tank top open and smiles.
"Looks like you've lost some weight. You're not as fat anymore," he tells her. He knows the blow is low and laughs when her jaw drops. She punches him in the face and the shock makes him stagger backwards.
She takes a chance and runs to the door. She gets it open and sees that it is raining. he comes up behind her and kicks her legs out from underneath her. Her face and hands get scratched on the gravel, but she doesn't feel the pain.
"Get off me!" She cries, sobbing. he pulls her up and she turns and pushes him. He slips on the wet gravel and hits his head on the ground. She doesn't wait.
(Violence over :/)
The drugs in her drink make her dizzy, but she runs. She doesn't see where she's going. She doesn't care that her jeans are ripped and bloody, that her tank top is only a few purple strips, that her feet are bare and bleeding.
When the pouring rain slows to a drizzle, and soon a mist, she slows.
She stops near a tree and leans her head back, sobbing. She hated the world. Why couldn't she see the signs? She should have known something was wrong when he kept getting violently angry all the time. Why didn't she see?
After a few minutes, she manages to get up and continues walking. She sees the dirt road that leads to the cliffs and her heart beats against her ribs. An empty feeling settles within her and she swallows, walking up to the cliffs. She stands at the edge, letting the cold wind seep into her. She looks down at her wrist and arms, and sees the bruises that are already forming.
The water below is choppy from the storm, but to her is hypnotic. She doesn't hear the truck coming up the road, or the screeching of the breaks. She takes a step closer to the water. Her toes hang off the edge. She holds her arms out to her sides and lifts up her foot to take the last step.
"Natalie!" She faintly hears the voice but doesn't recognize it until a pair of arms are around her. She screams, thinking it's Raff.
"No! Please, Raff, please, no!" She struggles but the arms tighten around her.
"It's me," a voice grinds out at her ear. She stops automatically and slumps forward. Keith's arms stay around her, but lower her gently to the ground.
A violent shuddering overtakes her and more tears fall. After nearly an hour, the drugs are slowly leaving her system, and the aftershocks are starting. She feels something being draped around her shoulders and looks up into Keith's warm brown eyes.
"What happened to you, partner?" He asks, looking at her bare feet and torn shirt. She shivers helplessly and looks back at the water.
"I wouldn't have jumped," she says numbly. She looks up at him. "Always know when to save me, huh, partner?" She tries to joke. A ghost of a smile touches his face.
"What happened to you?" He asks again. She closes her eyes.
"He said he had something special planned," she whispers, tightening the jacket around her shoulders. She breathes in the scent, letting it calm her. "He had candles lit, and a nice dinner cooked. I had some kind of spanish drink," she says, swallowing. "It tasted kinda funny, but he said it was supposed to taste that way. We ended up kissing on the couch." She didn't see how his hands clench into fists. She laughs. "I didn't even feel anything when we kisses. Nothing. He tried to put his hand up my shirt, but I told him no. My head started feeling fuzzy and I couldn't breathe or talk.
He grabbed me by the wrists and held them above my head. I kept telling him no, over and over," she whispers, closing her eyes. "He wouldn't listen. I kneed him in the crotch," she says, smiling a bit. "He fell on the floor and I tried to get up. He pinned me on the floor and ripped my tank top. I hit him on the head with something and I managed to get out of the room, but he...He yanked my hair and put me against the wall. I punched him," she says, lifting her bruised knuckled hand. "I got outside but he kicked my legs out from beneath me and I fell, scratching my face on the gravel. I managed to get up and push him. H-He fell and hit his head. I ran...I ran so hard and fast," she whispers brokenly, hating him seeing her in this position.
"I wanted to come here, to see the water. To...Feel something." She puts her head in her hands and sobs. A hysterical laugh bubbles inside her. "He looked at me. Know what he said? That I'm not as fat as I used to be. I'm a size four..." Her voice trails off.
ooo
His heart stopped when he saw her at the ledge. When he pulled her back, and she thought he was trying to hurt her, something snapped inside him. How could someone do this? Even now, after listening to her tell him what happened, he still couldn't believe it.
Don't lose your cool now, Zetterstrom! Remember the game plan! He grits his teeth.
"I should take you home," he says. She looks up at him and nods.
When they are parked outside her house, she hands him his jacket.
"Keith," she says quietly. He looks at her.
"Do you think less of me?" The question startles him. He furrows his brow at her.
"Of course I don't, partner. We've all got some kind of skeletons in our closets." She gives him a watery smile and thanks him, closing the door and running up to her house. He watches her until she is inside, than he goes back home.
He is angry. Angry at himself and angry at Marquez. He knew that she would be fine, though. She was strong like that. He glances over at his calendar when he is in bed, sighing when he sees that it is March 22. Another month lost. Way to go.
ooo
When she gets to school Monday, she is over what happened with Raff. She still remembers it, and it send chills down her spine, but she can get through it.
He comes up to her after school and looks so miserable that she postpones it a little longer. She hates herself for it, but knows what would happen if she didn't.
She sees Keith that same moment, as well, and sees the look on his face. Disgust. Whether it is directed at her or Raff, she's not sure. But the look hurts. She's not sure why. Keith is just her friend...Right?
Hey Guys! I Know, This is Super Long And It Is Really OOC For Raff. But, I Didn't Want To Follow The Storyline And I Watched The Movie And Saw How He Grabbed Her In The Scene Where She is Giving Him His Stuff Back And It Just Made Sense To Me . Anyways , don't Forget To R&R!
xXxhurting-insidexXx