Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

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He knew he was going crazy. There was no denying it now. It was so obvious that he curled himself into a ball beneath layers of blankets while clutching his hand in his hands as if trying to crush his skull and shutting his eyes tightly.

He was definitely going crazy.

Three days ago…

Lelouch woke up to see C.C. hovering above, staring down at him. He should have gotten used to it by now but somehow that gesture quite annoyed and creeped him out, knowing that someone was spying on him when asleep.

"Would you mind?" he grunted unhappily, and she shrugged. C.C. floated down next to him, made-believe she sat on the bed. Frankly, without the sunlight pouring through her transparent body as a telltale, he would have believed that she was a real girl, a touchable human being. Of course she wasn't. She was just a 'fragment of his dreams," as she liked to call it. Not ghost.

"You were sleeping like the dead," commented C.C. as he tried to sit up. The throbbing pain in his head and the upper half of his body was unbearable that he had to slop down on the bed again. Even a small feat like that was enough to coax sweat out of him. Lelouch sighed.

"I should have stayed in the hospital," he murmured.

"You were fine last week," said C.C.

"I was. Not anymore." He made sure to put a big emphasis on 'anymore.' Really, just a couple of days ago, he felt as strong as Suzaku, as if he could do anything physical-related. For instance, run a marathon. Well, not really. That was an exaggeration since Lelouch could never, ever, jog, let alone run. But still, he felt much better than this and he wondered why.

C.C. conveniently provided a reason. "That's what happens when you keep staying at home and doing nothing but lounging around on the bed," she pointed out flatly.

Ahh, that must be it.

Even though he was signed out of the hospital due to his impressive progress, Lelouch didn't want to come back to school just yet. The fact that his acquaintances would be too curious for his liking and ask many questions regarding the incident in the valley and how the hell he survived, combined with the occasional headaches that kept pounding inside his skull, Lelouch decided to take a few days off to first, get better. Secondly, to let the gossip, rumor, whatever it's called, die out.

The plan backfired.

He was getting worse, not better.

"Let's go out, Lelouch," C.C. was saying with golden orbs studying him carefully.

Lelouch reached up one hand to touch his forehead. The headache was gradually disappearing so he thought a couple of hours of walking wouldn't do much damage.

"Okay," he said at last.

"Let's get pizza," C.C. said while floating ahead of him.

It was a sunny, beautiful day, and it would be a real waste to just stay indoors, so Lelouch was glad he followed her advice for once. Regardless of the busy street with a myriad of people walking back and forth, slightly brushing his shoulders more than he preferred, he wasn't in a sour mood. The clear, cloudless skies probably were a huge factor.

But he had to admit that it was hot. Very hot. He was sweating already, and he guessed it was a lucky thing he had decided to wear a simple white shirt with black pants, and not something elaborate or fancy or complicated, because at the moment he felt like ripping the shirt off and walking around half-naked. Immoral of him indeed.

"Why pizza?" he asked. One good thing about having hundreds of people walking by his sides was that no one would notice that he was talking to himself. In his case, talking to someone no one else could see.

C.C. floated back and 'walked' beside him, saying. "That's my favorite food."

"You can't eat, anyway," he pointed out dryly. Did he need to remind her that she wasn't of this world?

She shot him a cold look. So cold that it made him rethink about taking his shirt off. "I can still see and smell it. And besides…" she trailed off, dropping her gaze.

"What?"

"Well," she glanced up at him, hesitated for a split second, then said, "Remember what happened at the valley?"

"How could I forget?" They were approaching the pizza parlor soon.

She sucked in a breath as if this topic were difficult to address. To him, it certainly was. It brought back the pain that didn't want to go away yet. Still lingering. Finally, she spoke. "If you believe in me. If you have more faith in me, I could eat, I guess."

He stopped in his tracks. He knew she'd say that, exactly that, but that didn't mean he was prepared for it. Especially not so long after the incident. She would expect him to go through the pain again?

Oh wait, something's not right…

The mutual bond they shared was nothing close to painful. In fact, it was warm like milk that just got out of the microwave, and full of happy, joyous feelings. Feelings that he hadn't felt in awhile. The bond was special. It gave him strength. Gave both of them strength.

The thing that was painful was the blows he received from the thugs. Don't mix them up, Lelouch, he mused.

The feeling that someone was staring at him pulled him back to reality, and Lelouch cleared his throat. "I can do that?"

"Of course you can," she answered as if he had asked that question a thousand times, and she gave the same reply a thousand times. Probably he did.

"No, I mean if I could believe in you more than I do right now, you can touch objects and eat?"

"Like a normal human being, yes."

He pondered for a few seconds. "Does that mean I'm closer to finding out the truth?"

A sad smile tugged at her lips. "I believe so."

Her confirmation boosted up his confidence and inner strength. He's close to the treasure, he knew it. Just a few more deliberate steps, combined with patience, more faith, and critical thinking, and he would hit home.

A reassuring smile crossed his face, knowing that he almost reached his goal, Lelouch took a long stride in an effort to cross the intersection before the lights turned red.

He could feel C.C.'s floating speed increase to catch up with his. Then someone bumped into him. Not brushing his shoulder like people had been doing, but actually bumping, leaving him stagger a bit. The bump wasn't entirely purposeful. As if the person who had done that had no balance in walking in that split moment, thus colliding into another pedestrian. It was half accidental, but somehow it was strong enough to knock Lelouch off his feet for a second.

After Lelouch regained his balance and before the one who bumped into him disappeared into the flowing crowd, Lelouch caught only a glimpse of his hair. His white-as-snow hair.

"An 'excuse me' would be appropriate," murmured Lelouch before resuming his previous pace.

When he reached the pizza parlor – he'd decided that it was the least he could do to properly thank her for saving him in the alley. He promised himself he'd try his best to help her materialize again, knowing it would take a huge amount of effort, but he owed her that.

Lelouch gazed at the display of various hot, steaming pizza slices, and spoke, "Which one do you want, C.C.?"

No response.

"C.C.?" He whipped his head around only to find no one beside him.

Tracing back the way they went, he looked for her.

"C.C.," called Lelouch softly, turning this way and that, hoping to catch a glimpse of lustrous green hair in the dimming sunlight. "Where are you? Come on out."

He remembered her telling him that she would always be there with him. Wherever he went, whenever, it didn't matter. She would never leave his side. It was a connection that they shared since he accidentally 'pulled' her out of his dreams. So her disappearing without a warning made him doubt that statement and rethink about the possibility of coming close to finding out the truth.

Lelouch stopped in his tracks. So far, still no signs of her, and he wondered how he should come up with a way to look for her. How he should think of a way to describe her to other people.

As he was musing, someone came up from behind and tapped him on the shoulder, making Lelouch flinch a bit. "Hey," said the newcomer.

"Kenji?" said Lelouch. He and Kenji weren't close like he was with Suzaku, or Kallen and Shirley. In actuality, they only had a few classes together and hung out with different group of friends, so chances of them talking frequently were as slim as a sheet of paper. Still, Kenji had been very nice and smart. Though they were mere acquaintances, Lelouch would love to know the guy more.

Kenji gave him a look-over. "What are you doing here, skipper?" he asked. A joking smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. "Haven't seen you in days. You have no idea how much you've missed." He said and there's this sarcastic sympathy and pity in his voice. He knew Lelouch would never fail a class even if he were to be absent for half the school year.

Lelouch chuckled, temporarily forgetting the task at hand, and replied, "I have actually been studying on my own, for your information, so there's no chance I'll be failing this semester."

Kenji grinned, showing his perfectly white teeth. "So what's up? What are you doing in the center square anyway?" He took a step forward. Lelouch took the hint and started walking so both of them were walking side-by-side while talking at the same time.

"I'm looking for someone," answered Lelouch.

"Ooooh your girlfriend?" Kenji gave his head a disapproval shake. It would have looked as if he were being serious if not for the huge grin that was splitting his face. "Gotta tell Shirley that."

Lelouch couldn't help suppressing a sigh. "Why does everyone keep assuming we're a couple?"

Kenji elbowed him in the ribs playfully. "Because you two are always together, duh," he said.

"Because we're best friends," corrected Lelouch, and Kenji just laughed.

"Uh huh," the red-haired teen replied dismissively as if he didn't buy that. In fact no one did when Lelouch gave the same answer. It was time to come up with a new, more convincing one.

Lelouch shook his head. "Is your house this way?" he said, moving the conversation to another less awkward direction.

"It's ways back."

"Then why are we going this way?"

"I'm just following you." He shrugged. And Lelouch smiled. That's one thing he liked about this guy. He was just so chilling and easy-going.

"Come on, let's look for whoever you're looking for," Kenji suggested.

Lelouch whipped his head around. "I don't know where she went."

"Where was it that you last saw her?"

"In front of the piz-"

That was when everything came crumbling down on Lelouch.

The weight of his situation. The weight of the truth, of reality. It all came crashing down mercilessly.

Lelouch froze. His face paled.

No one could see C.C. No one could feel her presence. She was just a 'fragment of his dreams." Only he could talk to her. Only he knew about her existence. No one else could.

Who's to say that she wasn't made up? Who's to say that she wasn't just a fragment of his imagination? That all this time he had been talking to himself?

Talking to himself… It felt like déjà-vu, because that's what he did after Nunnally died. That's the sole reason he spent almost a year in a mental institute.

It's happening again.

That realization was so hard and surreal that for a moment Lelouch just stood there, glued to the ground. His eyes were bulging and his nerves were racing, threatening to burst open. Finally, finally, his knees started to buckle and knock together. His hands felt liquid-like, and he couldn't feel anything when he flexed and unflexed them. As if his entire being were made of air.

Lelouch staggered back. He felt someone catch his elbow, trying to steady him. But it was no use because he couldn't keep his legs under control anymore. They, too, had become liquid-like.

"Lelouch? Hey, what's the matter?" someone was saying, but it all sounded distant.

Lelouch had to escape from here. From the horrible truth.

He yanked his arm hard from whoever was holding them and ran in an unknown direction, where his wobbly legs were taking him.

He still heard that familiar voice, though its volume increased ten-folds, but he couldn't stop. He wouldn't. He had to get out of here fast.

He threw himself on the bed, clutching his head tightly in his hands and whispering like a maniac. "I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy," he repeated with tightly shut eyes. "I'm not!"

How can I? He thought dizzily. She was right here. In the middle of the room. Talking to me. She was sleeping right next to me. He opened his eyes and wildly looked to his right, as if hoping to see the familiar ghost lying there. Nothing but darkness.

It's not my imagination. I could feel her presence…

We talked. Her voice was clear… No mistaking it. She was here.

It's not my imagination… She… she… saved me!

That's it! Lelouch's eyes popped open at the realization. What happened at the valley where the thugs ganged up on him and beat the crap out of him, it was her who stepped in and saved the day. He still remembered how it felt when their minds and feelings connected to give her strength. It was blissful that he wanted to shut out all the other feelings just to give room for that particular one to grow.

How could all of that be his imagination? Unless…

Unless someone real actually came to his rescue. Lelouch shut his eyes again. Someone who saw how beaten-up he was and felt pity for the teenager so they jumped in and gave the thugs a taste of their own medicine. To be honest, he was pretty hazy at that point, so his memories of then could not be trusted entirely. All he actually did remember was the blurry image of a figure attacking the thugs, calling his name, and dialing Suzaku's phone.

What if it was no one but Lelouch who called Suzaku?

Suzaku did say that there was a woman's voice at the other end and it sounded so weak and distant that he could barely make out the words. What if it had been Lelouch? In that miserable state, there's no doubt that he sounded like a weakling with a high-pitched voice similar to a high school girl's.

"No… No… It can't be happening again," murmured Lelouch. He suddenly felt a hotness sensation on his cheeks and knew right away he was crying. But he had no effort left to wipe the tears that poured out during his musings.

"I'm not… I can't… I'm not crazy…" he said in a cracked voice. That argument was so weak now that he currently seriously doubted his mental stability.

At the end, what it all came down to was there was no proof to prove C.C.'s existence.

Lelouch cried himself to sleep.

The next day and the day after that, Lelouch just buried himself under layers of blanket. The house was dark because he didn't bother to draw the curtains. Dust was gathering a little in the smallest corners, and the whole interior was getting cold. But he didn't care. All he wanted to do was sleep, to get away from reality for once, to bury himself in happy memories before the lung cancer took his sister away. More than occasionally, he sobbed. And once in awhile, he would open his eyes and hazily searched for the green-haired girl. No one was inside the house but his miserable self.

At last, when three days, though it seemed like an eternity, had passed and C.C. made no reappearance, Lelouch weakly fumbled for the phone. When he reached it, he slowly and painfully dragged the receiver to his ear while dialing a familiar number.

After three rings, the person on the other end answered. "Hello?"

"Suzaku…" Lelouch said in a barely audible voice.

"Lelouch?" He could hear the concern in his best friend's voice.

It took all Lelouch got to get out the next few words. "Suzaku, call the institute. It's happening again… I'm going to crazy again."

Thank you for reading. Reviews would be appreciated!