We're Gonna Get Those Bastards Chapter 5
If there was one building that could be told apart from all the others in the city it was that of Mercy Hospital. Towering over the skyline, the gigantic skyscraper could not only treat every sick person in the city, but probably house every single citizen as well.
However with the city in it's current dillema, any wounded survivor who had hopes of finding refuge and aid within the hospital's walls would be making a deadly mistake.
The hospital currently had the highest concentraion of horde within one building throughout the entire city.
However luckily for two creatures currently riding the building's elevator, the surrounding zombie horde gave them little concern.
As the elevator doors opened on the twenty third floor, a hooded creature and a tall smoking abomination casually walked out and surveyed their current surroundings.
"Smoke I don't understand why we're here" Hunter muttered to the taller man next to him, and after a cough and a weeze he responded, "I already told you Hunter, CEDA has an office here on this floor."
Hunter rolled his eyes, "Well yeah, but why the hell would we be looking for a CEDA office, those guys are trying to stop the infection."
"Exactly and that is why they should have data on all of the kinds of infected in their office. All we have to do is access Tank's file and it should tell us why he lacks any intelegence besides his basic motor skills."
Hunter's eyebrow raised, "If he has motor skills does that mean he was also a mechanic?"
Smoker glared at his friend before sighing, "Maybe if we have time we'll try to fix your IQ too" he muttered under his breath before continuing his walk down the decrepit hall.
A few minutes later in a locked corner office, a trash can flew through the glass window curtosy of Smoker.
The tall infected unlocked the door and stepped in with Hunter, still continuing their earlier conversation.
"I'll have you know Smoker that back in High School I had the highest score on a test in all the country's history."
Smoker seemed a little intrested, "Really...and what test was that?"
Hunter paused for a few seconds before looking down ashamed, "...Narcotics test." Smoker groaned, "I should have known" he muttered as the two began to look around.
Hunter noticed a PC in the corner with the monitor shining bright. As Smoker began to rumage through filing cabinets the hooded monster sat in front of the computer and fiddled with the keys.
"Bingo!" Hunter exclaimed as he came face to face with CEDA's private server, the previous user still logged in. Smoker trotted over and looked at the list.
"There, click on the 'special infected' icon" he told Hunter and a screen popped up that displayed their names plus a few that they had never seen before.
"Thats funny...I thought we were the only special infected in this entire city" Smoker muttered and Hunter noticed something under each name, "Thats because we are...says here that the Charger, Spitter, and Jockey have only been spotted down south."
Deciding to come back to that later they pulled up Tank's file and tried to read about his intellegence, "Hmn...says here that upon becoming infected the brain is supposed to relocate itself so that more muscle tissue can grow in the head area" Smoker stated as Hunter read on.
Suddenly the hooded infected burst out laughing as he read a sentence, "No way hahaha! Now I know why he's so stupid, look where the brain relocates itself."
Smoker's eyes widened, "His jaw?! The brain is in his jaw?!" "Correction, WAS in his jaw. When we met him it was missing, still is."
Smoker slammed his boil covered hands on the table, "Damnit! So who has it?" Hunter clicked on the link about the jaw, "Says here that CEDA recovered it for further testing...and its in this building" he said happily.
Hunter pointed towards a room at the back of the office, "Check inside that room" he told Smoker who opened the door and immediatly felt freezing cold air, "Hm...CEDA's cryo lab" he muttered.
As Hunter continued to mess with the computer, Smoker popped open a certain nitrogen cabinet and was met with Tank's missing appendage.
"Bingo" the weezing infected grinned, but his eye's widened as he heard Hunter behind him, "Hmn, lets check out your profile Smoke" he said nonchalantly.
Smoker began to dash back to the computer with Tank's jaw in tow, "No no no that won't be neccesary!" he paniced as Hunter began to read.
"Lets see, 'The Smoker's most effective attribute is it's long tongue, which it grows in return for sacrificing all reproductive organs'...Smoker...does that mean that...you don't have a..."
Smoker's green face instantly turned beat red as he shut the monitor off and turned to a grinning Hunter, "Heh...I knew you were just compensating for 'something' with that large tongue of yours."
"F-fuck you Hunter, besides I got the jaw lets get the hell out of here" he growled to his still grinning friend.
As the two began to trek back to the elevator Hunter turned to Smoker, "Hey Smoke, you know its a nightmare just to get Tank to brush his top teeth every night...how we gonna hold him down long enough to attach this thing back on?"
Smoker grinned, "Our pal Boomer is already starting that faze of the plan."
Meanwhile inside the city's local zoo the large abomination known as Tank was walking down a long pathway, currently engrosed in picking up a trail of doughnuts that seemed to 'magically' appear.
What he didn't know is that Boomer had set the trail for the dimwitted infected and it was too late when Tank realized the trail ended in one of the animal's cages.
Tank's eyes widened as the large cage slammed shut and he was instantly bombarded by his three friends, "Hold his ass down so we can attach this fucking thing back to his face!" Hunter screamed upon jumping on his back.
The large infected lashed around wildly, punching the incoming Boomer who then spewed puke all over Hunter, effectivly blinding the poor infected and having him fall off of Tank's back.
Tank suddenly felt something long wrap around his neck, and looked down to see that Smoker had wrapped his long tongue around him in an effort to choke him out.
This didn't work as plan as Tank began to spin the creature around in circles, knocking the other two down and then succesfully tossing Smoker through the cage door.
Tank stomped out of the cage and began to pound his chest in victory much like King Kong, roaring at the top of his lungs.
Suddenly Tank paused and looked down to see what looked to be someone's jaw. Upon thinking that the detattached appendage was food he picked it up and calmly raised it towards his mouth.
A few minutes later Smoker, Boomer, and Hunter all seemed to groan as conciousness simutaniously hit them.
Pushing themselves up from their hands and knees they wobbled around in a daze for a short period of time before a deep sophisticated voice broke them out of it.
"My word! I do beg your pardon my companions for inflicting such heinous injuries based on premature judgements on my part..."
All three of the now wide eyed infected slowly turned around to see a 'grinning' Tank, who was currently standing straight up instead of using it's massive arms for support.
"...I do hope that everybody is currently feeling up to par?" The trio gaped as Tank smiled happily at them, and it was Hunter who best summed up everyone's current feelings, "...Hooooly Shit."
Author's Notes: Well now, whats in store for the four now that they have a man with all brawns AND brains. Will it result in the failure of the survivors? We shall see. Also sorry about the short chapter this time, it seemed like an approriate place to leave off in order to build suspence, as well as even out the next chapter. The next one will be longer.