Author's Notes: Thank you so much guys for the reviews throughout the months that i've been too busy to write with a combination of writer's block. One of my favorite reviews went something like "make another fucking chapter now!" Now thats a true fan for you, I wish I got more reviews like that (please don't lol).
Well anyway I apologize for the long hiatus. I worry that I went with a more serious story this time instead of more humor, but I swear that their will be more humor in the future chapters of this story. With that said, enjoy.
We're Gonna Get Those Bastards Chapter 6
If there was one rule that the survivors had learned while being trapped within the nightmare that used to be their city, it was that the special infected should be avoided, the special infected should be feared!
However if those same survivors saw the current scene of Hunter and Smoker skipping around the confused Tank, they would probably just piss themselves laughing.
Tank raised an eyebrow as he watched his two friends prance around him, "We fixed the Taaank, we fixed the Taaank!" they chanted while Boomer looked on from a distance.
"Hmn...funny I had no idea I was suffering from any kind of abnormality regarding my height of intellegence."
He omphed as Smoker smacked him on the back, "You kidding? You were a freaking moron Tank!" Tank polietly nudged the green infected hand away and wiped it clean with a small hanky he pulled from his pocket.
"Hmn...yes well now that this brain matter has been taken care of, I believe you should all call me by my real name, Charles Esterfield."
Tank's three friends all raised their eyebrows, "Charles...Esterfield?" muttered Hunter and Tank nodded, "Yes and I shall call you all by your real names, Martin, Sam, and Squiggy."
Smoker, formally known as Sam widened his eyes, "Squiggy? Which one of us was named Squiggy?"
Reluctently Hunter raised his hand, "...My parents really liked the Laverne and Shirley show ok." Boomer (Martin) and Smoker (Sam) simultaniously burst out laughing.
Hunter's face turned the shade of a tomato and to everyone's suprise Tank smacked Smoker on the back of the head, "Shame on you Samuel! Making fun of poor Squiggy's name!"
Hunter's shade deepend, "Would you stop calling me that damnit!" Tank sighed, "Fine I shall call all of you by your post-infected names, however I shall still prefer to be called Charles."
"Uh...sure no problem Ta-I mean Charles" Boomer awkwardly agreed before distant gunshots caught the team's attention.
Gazing off into the distance they saw a group of five survivors currently running towards a safehouse, five of many that still riddled the city searching for escape.
Tank shook his head, "Hmn...pathetic creatures. Just like cockroachs scurring away when the light turns on." Smoker and Hunter exchanged quick thumbs ups to each other on the account of Tank's new sadistic personality.
Approaching the safehouse they glanced inside. Their was a middle aged Chinese shop clerk, a young African American couple, a high school football player, and what seemed to be a nightclub stripper.
Their guns were laying at one of the corners of the room, showing that they had no idea of the danger outside. They watched as the young jock began to write something on the wall, possibly about his whereabouts to his family.
Smoker began to ponder, "So Ta-Charles...how are we getting them out?" Tank smirked, "Allow me dear Smoker" he muttered and walked up to the door.
As Smoker, Hunter, and Boomer took refuge behind a parked car, they watched in amazement as Tank gripped the familiar red door by it's bars and tore it off of it's hinges.
They heard gasps and shrieks from inside, most likely the sounds of the survivors reaching for their guns. However when no gunshots or cries of pain rang out, the infected outside became confused.
Another fifthteen minutes later the special infected sighed as they waited behind the car, "The hell is taking him so long?" Hunter muttered before five consecutive gunshots rang out.
"Oh God their shooting at him!" Smoker screamed and the three dashed towards the safehouse. However once they were inside, their confusion only grew.
Laying sprawled out in several parts of the room were the bodies of the five survivors, each with a gunshot wound in their temple. In each hand was their sidearms, and standing in the middle of it all was Tank.
"Charles holy shit man...what happend?" Hunter screamed. Tank turned around with a cocky smirk, "I mearly explained to them all through a mind-numbing paradox that physical escape from the city was simply impossible. Once it sunk in, I suggested a much easier form of escape, and they took up my offer for it."
Boomer leaned towards Smoker's ear, "Oh my God...Tank was able to convince them all to commit suicide."
Hearing a noise, Tank turned around to see Hunter trying to drag the body of the nightclub stripper away, "Hunter what are your intentions with that corpse?" Tank muttered and Hunter laughed awkwardly.
A couple minutes later the group of four began to head back to their haven on the outskirts of the city. As they passed by hundreds of mindless infected in the desolate and decrpeit streets, Tank's face held an expression of discomfort.
"Hey fellas...what are your goals for your post-infected existence?" Upon recieving three confused stares he continued, "I mean what do you want out of this new life you have been given. Do you just intended to live life day by day and pray that the infection overtakes America before the Army reaches the city?"
Hunter shrugged his shoulders, "Well if you mean what are our life goals, its to kill the remaining survivors." Tank groaned, "Yes, but why? What is your reasoning for attempting to eliminate inferior beings only wishing to escape?"
Smoker decided to answer this one, "Bordom mostly." Hunter nodded, "Yeah, we all pretty much decided that after the survivors were gone we would most likely just blow our brains out like those people back in the saferoom did."
Appalled, Tank decided to leave the conversation at that, but he couldn't help himself from occasionally staring at Mercy Hospital, specifically towards the floor that contained the CEDA office.
It was a couple hours later that the special infected were sleeping peacefully in their respectful positions on the floor located in the small church. With a small snort, Hunter clutched his plushie of the Witch closer to his chest. Boomer snuggled deeper into his pillow before a large shadow past over him, and headed towards the door.
Giving one last look at the trio left sleeping on the ground, Tank gave a heavy sigh and whispered, "Goodbye my friends...forever" he muttered before slipping out into the cover of darkness.
As Tank began to trudge down the desolate streets, rain began to dramatically hammer the landscape, common infected aimlessly stumbling past the giant creature.
"Who am I...what is my purpose" Tank muttered as the rain began to come down harder, Tank obviously not giving it any mind as he fought with his inner turmoil, "Am I doomed to an existence of that of a common animal...have all those years of work and suffering to achieve my PHD been frivelous?"
Tank suddenly came to an abrupt stomp, his anger reaching it's climax as he fell to his knees and pound a fist into the concrete below, "Is this what has become of Charles T. Esterfield?"
Raising his fists into the air, he yelled out to the heavens above as a bolt of lightning illmuniated the streets, "TELL ME!" he screeched before another bolt of lightning lit up the largest building in the city.
A realization suddenly hit Tank as he stared at Mercy Hospital, the location of the city's CEDA office, "...Thats it" he muttered before calmly rising to his feet and walking towards the ominous skyscraper.
As he began to fade out of view, a small frail girl in a tattered grey undershirt stared at the receeding figure with emotionless red eyes. Having witnessed Tank's outburst from behind a nearby building, Witch's eyes narrowed into a suspisious glare, before she turned around and begun her walk towards a nearby church.
When the sun began to rise a few hours later, Hunter groaned as nearby yelling voices echoed throughout the church. Covering his head with his pillow in a desperate attempt to block out the noise, he eventually gave up and decided to see what the hell was with all the racket.
Climbing up the bell tower he was confused to see Smoker shouting at someone below, "Look I already told you, no girls allowed in fort infected, now get the fuck out of here before I get Boomer to puke on you!"
Hunter walked up to Smoker cautiously, "Uh, Smoker who are you talking to?" Turning around Smoker groaned, "Ugh, your girlfriend is here and she won't go awa-OW" Smoker yelped as a brick smacked the back of his head.
Looking back down he yelled at Witch, "You bitch!" Hunter walked up to the ledge and smiled down at his friend, "Hey Witch, whats up?" Witch sighed, "Oh thank God, someone with at least half a brain" she said and Smoker gave her the finger before receeding inside and down the ladder.
"There is something wrong with your friend Tank. I just saw him a few hours ago having a breakdown in the middle of the street. Then he suddenly calms down and begins walking towards Mercy Hospital. What the hell is wrong with him?"
Hunter raised an eyebrow, "Tank? What are you talking about, Tank is still sleeping in his corner of the church like usual." Witch growled, "Thats impossible! Let me in, I wanna see." Hunter stared at his friend's glaring eyes for a few more seconds before giving a defeated sigh, and climbing down the ladder.
A minute later Smoker shouted obscienities and Boomer stared confused as Witch entered the compound, Hunter at her side, "What the hell Hunter? We don't want that bitch in here, right Boomer?"
Boomer's eyes widened as a pair of piercing red eyes glowered at his form, awaiting an answer, "Uh...I...she-shes fine with me" he muttered and as Witch gave a cocky smirk, Smoker shook his head, "Pussy" he growled to his friend.
Hunter decided to get back at the matter at hand, "Well anyway Tank is right over there, see" he stated and as Witch looked over to the corner of the crumbling buidling, her red orbs widend, "Hunter...thats a vacumn cleaner with a football as a head" she muttered in disbelief.
Everyone in the room turned their attention to Tank's usual napping corner, where true to Witch's observation a dirty brown vacumn cleaner lay with a footbal attatched to the handle. Crudley drawn on the front of the football was Tank's attempt at a smiley face, and even though everyone immediatly realized their foley, Hunter laughed and walked up to the vacumn, "Hehe, what are you crazy, this is definetly Tank."
As Hunter put an arm around his 'buddy', he accidently flipped the switch to on, causing the vacumn to immediatly begin devoring Hunter's pants around the groin, "Help! Tanks gone gay for me, get him off!" Hunter screamed as Smoker quickly flipped off the device with his tounge.
Meanwhile in the dark bowls of Mercy Hospital, a lone muscular abomination slowly trudged up the winding staircases towards the CEDA office, since he obviously didn't meet the weight requirement for the elevator.
The limited light of the facility gave an almost errie presence to the creature deep in thought, however as he arrived at his floor and neared the designated office, his concentration was broken by a string of voices.
"Zoey, come on we need to make it to the rooftop, what are you doing?" "Can it Francis, this office's information may be just what we need to stop the infection, and dispose of those special infected." Tank's eyes widened as he listened to the voices coming from behind the door.
Processing Zoey's words, Tank contemplated the option of allowing the girl access to CEDA's classified information, and possibly help bring the infection to an end. After all...wasn't that the most noble of options?
Inside the CEDA office, Zoey held her minature flashlight up to a small filing cabniet as she rummaged through the few files that weren't on the computer. Luis and Francis sat bored on two nearby chairs while Bill kept his assault rifle at the ready.
However everyone's eyes widened as a large fist punched through the door, and as the group of survivors raised their respective weapons towards the incoming threat, the door was violently ripped from it's hinges.
The four watched in horror, their fingers shaking on their triggers as Tank calmly stomped into the room and gave a cold glare to the four inside, "I'm afraid I can't let you access that information" he said in a voice no higher then a whisper, but with more venom then a serpent.
As gunfire began to erupt within the CEDA office, Hunter, Smoker, Boomer, and Witch arrived at the entrance of Mercy Hospital. Smoker took this time to let out a frustrated sigh and glared at Witch, "Alright ho, we're here, now what?"
Witch gripped her claws tight with anger before pointing one at Smoker, "If you call me ho, or bitch one more time I'm gonna chop your nuts off!" Hunter chuckled, "Thats sorta impossible" he laughed as Witch stood confused and Smoker blushed madly.
"Well, now that Tank has his brains back, what would he find of use here in the hospital?" Boomer asked and suddenly everyone snapped their fingers in realization, "CEDA!" they all yelled in unison before storming inside the giant skyscraper.
The elevator performed it's familiar 'ding' sound as it arrived on the familiar floor containing the CEDA office. Slowly walking down the darkened hallway, the four special infected began to hear a sharp weezing sound.
"Shut the hell up Smoker" Hunter said as the other infected held his hands up in innoncence, "Wasn't me man". Suddenly as they neared the end of the hallway, the infected's eyes widened as the Vietnam war veteran Bill, feebly tried to crawl away from the nearby office.
His legs seemed badly damaged and as he raised his head to the infected, his eyes widened, "Aww...shit" he muttered before losing consiousness.
The four stared at his body confused for a few seconds before Hunter shrugged his shoulders, "Welp, better finish him off" he said nonchalantly as he took a few steps towards him, before being haulted by Witch.
"Wait Hunter, this doesn't seem right. These wounds are too great to come from regular infected...Tank is here alright." Hunter seemed unconvinced, "So? He probably just came here to kill these guys" "Then why didn't he finish him off?" Witch retaliated and Hunter seemed to be at a loss for words.
The four immediatly took off down the end of the hall and stormed into the office, their eyes widening at the chaos that met them. The biker survivor sat motionless inside of a shattered cabinet holding glass beakers, his gun still at his side.
The office guy with the red tie lay on his stomach in the corner of the room, face contorted in pain as he slipped in and out of consiousness. Witch quickly ran up to the final survivor, the young college girl laying sprawled out on one of the tables.
Jumping up on the table and using her claws to prop the survivor up, Witch was about to demand Tank's whereabouts before the girl stared up at her with glassy eyes, "Mom...is that...you" she muttered in her dazed state before blacking out. Witch could only sigh and drop her head back down on the hard table before getting up and looking at the rest of her group.
"Somethings wrong, we have to search for-" her sentence was cut short as she felt the table beneath her start to rumble, Zoey's body sliding off onto the floor below as Tank picked up the entire table with a bewildered Witch on top.
With a roar the monster threw the table at his friends, Witch doing a backflip during the process and landing behind Tank. On the other side, Smoker hit the floor and Hunter jumped high as the table enclosed in, Boomer taking the full blunt of the hit and flying into the wall with a yell.
Hunter snarled at his friend as he dangled from a light on the ceiling, "Tank! What the hell?" he screamed as Smoker quickly shot his tounge out and tried to wrap it around the infected's massive bicep.
Hunter gave his trademark yell as he dove and grabbed onto Tank's other arm, trying with all his might to hold on while Witch ran over to tend to Boomer.
Tank huffed darkly, "Simple-minded fools" he muttered before abruptly yanking both of his arms across, violently pulling Smoker and Hunter into each other. Then triumphently stomped on both of them at once.
"I have much bigger plans for this city then leaving it to ruin, I tend to rebuild, create an infected eutopia to spread to the entire world." Hunter gritted his teeth against the pressure of Tank's foot, and choked out, "Well why didn't you just tell us...we...we can help you!"
Smoker coughed harshley, "Yeah, we're your friends!" Tank paused momentarily, seemingly in conflict with himself before raising his foot and bringing it down onto his comrades with a roar.
Hunter and Smoker cried out in pain, but as Witch began to dart towards them, Tank quickly punched another table towards her that pinned her painfully against the wall.
As she struggled, Tank roughly picked up Hunter and Smoker by their heads and slowly trudged over to one of the windows. Looking at the window, Tank's eyes softened momentarily with regret, before they hardened once more and he looked at both of his victims in the eye, "I'm sorry my comrades...but theres only room for one special infected in my new eutopia" he muttered before using as much force as he could muster to smash the two through the window simultaniously.
"No!" Witch screamed as she heard Hunter and Smoker's recedding screams as they fell into the night. Then with a murderous growl, she sliced through the table in one swift motion. Tank's eyes widened slightly at Witch's death glare, before replacing it with one of bordom, "Fine, let me deal with you quickly so I can get back to creating my plans" he muttered.
Witch flexed her claws, Tank puffed out his chest, and Boomer coughed meekly in the corner near the three bodies of the devastated survivors.
Then in one quick motion Witch let out a howl and Tank gave a massive roar as the two ran forward and the battle at Mercy Hospital had begun.
Author's Notes: And there you have it! Have you ever wondered what a fight between a Tank and a Witch would be like? Or what Tank's plan for the city will be? Well wonder no more during the next chapter, thank you for reading and leave a review if you have the time.