Disclaimer: I do not own either the Disney characters nor the Mean Girls story. This is purely just a fun little crossover I am doing.
Thank you to my new followers, I am very happy to have you.
Chapter 4
Field behind school- A little later.
*Jasmine is drawing something in a notebook.*
John: So you took all these tests and then what?
Ariel: They placed me in all 10th grade classes, except for senior Calculus.
John: I'm repeating freshman gym.
Jasmine: How do you spell your name, R-iel?
Ariel: It's Ariel. A-R-I-E-L.
John: I am so going to mentor you. What else is important that I can tell you about? The cafeteria is terrible. You're going to want to buy your lunch at the school store. I recommend the white cheddar cheezits. What else? Oh! Spring Fling.
Jasmine: Spring Fling is not important.
John: It is to me. At the end of every year, the graduating seniors throw a dance called Spring Fling for the underclassmen. Whomsoever is elected Spring Fling King and Queen automatically become head of the Student Activity Committee and since I am an active member of the Student Activity Committee, I would say yeah, it's pretty important to me.
Jasmine: John, you've out-gayed yourself.
*John sees a gym class truding out onto the field.*
John: In the name of all that is holy. Look at Snow White's gym clothes.
*Snow White has a very vacant expression. Her gym clothes consist of the tiniest shorts ever forged by man, and a bandanna for a shirt.*
Ariel: Is that a shirt or a bandage?
Jasmine: I don't know Ariel. But I do know that Snow White is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. John sat next to her in English last year.
John: She asked me how to spell orange.
*Next we see Aurora. She has very expensive clothes.*
Jasmine: And see that little one next to her? That's Aurora. She's rich as shit cause her Dad invented the pumpkin carriages.
John: She is a little Gucci Hootchie.
Ariel: What's a Gucci Hootchie?
John: A girl with $1,000 of designer clothes on a $2 body.
*Jasmine, John and Ariel start walking back toward the school.*
Ariel: Why do you hate them?
Jasmine: What do you mean?
Ariel: You seem to really hate them.
Jasmine: Yes. What's your question?
Ariel: Did they do something to offend you?
Jasmine: They're plastic. There's nothing they do that doesn't offend me.
*Jasmine tears a page out of her notebook.*
Jasmine: Here this is for you.
*Ariel looks at the paper. At the top it says "Ariel's map to Magical Kingdom H.S." It is a detailed map of the school saying who belongs where. Preps. Asian nerds. Etc. In one corner it says, "Beware of the Plastics!" Jasmine notices the P.E. teacher has left her bullhorn by the side of the field.*
Jasmine: John, on your left.
*John snags the bullhorn as they pass. Right as they get to the door he turns it on.*
John: Pumpkin Carriages kill people!
*Aurora looks around. John and Jasmine run into the building. Ariel runs too.*
Calculus class- A little later.
*Belle is the teacher. Ariel looks alert and interested. The guy to her left is completely asleep.*
Ariel: *V.O.* It was so weird to be in a real classroom, looking at a real teacher who wasn't my mom. Finally I could focus fully on math excellence.
*The guy in front of Ariel turns to her.*
Hercules: Do you have a pencil I could borrow?
Ariel: *V.O.* Holy shit.
*Romantic music swells. She hands Hercules her pencil. He smiles and turns back around.*
Ariel: *V.O.* I've only had two other crushes in my life. One on my dad's godson who lives in Australia.
Beach
*A hot tan Australian guy on a beach in surf gear.*
Godson: Do ya like surfin'?
Ariel: *V.O.* And one on Dr. Sanjay Gupta from CNN.
*Sanjay Gupta, reporting from the field. He looks right into the camera.*
Sanjay: What's up?
Ariel: *V.O.* Give me a break. I lived in Namibia. I didn't get out much.