Chapter 14

3 months after

I sit staring at the screen filled with numbers on my desk. The backlight of my computer screen is the only light in the rapidly darkening office. The majority of other lights in the office are out. Nearly everyone else has gone home to enjoy the weekend. I rub the bridge of my nose as I try to work out why these numbers don't add up. The report is an update about the water supply in the city's recreational parks but something in the maintenance costs has been miscalculated. The report is due out next week. I need to figure out the problem tonight or it will plague throughout the whole weekend.

A tall figure suddenly appears in my door way and I look up to find Boggs looking down at me concerned.

"Katniss, it's 9 o'clock on a Friday night. You are young. Go home and have some fun," he urges.

"I need to figure out why these numbers aren't adding up," I sigh.

"That report can wait. I admire your dedication to the company, but you have been spending way too many hours here. It's not healthy," Boggs says.

I look up at him over my computer screen. It is true. Ever since Dad's funeral I have spent more and more time at work. I am always first to arrive and last to leave. If there is any ever extra work that needs to be done I volunteer. Work has always been my coping mechanism. It is just easier to focus on instead of the events at Glimmer's wedding.

Boggs is still staring at me and I get the feeling he is not going to leave until I do. I finally consent that he is right and I am too tired to figure out the problem so reluctantly close down my computer and push myself off my chair. I can always come into the office tomorrow to look at it again. Boggs gives me a relieved smile and walks with me out of the building. Time to go home.

I greet Madge and Thom as I enter the apartment and place my bags on the kitchen table. They are both curled up on the couch watching some Will Ferrell comedy. They return my greeting before looking at me a bit nervously as I go to pick up my mail. I frown a little at their stare before I begin shifting through my letters. It is mostly bills and my subscription to National Geographic but the last card causes me to stop and pause. Now I know why they are looking at me like that.

I pick up the delicate card and study the picture on the front. It is a small print of a painting of the woods on my grandfather's estate with the sun rise filtering through the forest branches. The painting is awash of oranges, reds and golds. It looks so real and causes a twinge of pain in my chest as a rush of memories come to the fore. I turn the card over to be met with words I had been expecting but dreading.

"Is this the invitation for Peeta's gallery opening?" I ask softly, holding up the card and looking at Madge and Thom.

Madge nods her head cautiously.

"They came this morning. It looks pretty good doesn't it?" Madge asks nervously.

I look down at the card again and nod my head in reluctant agreement.

I knew this invitation was coming. Shortly after my father's funeral Plutarch had commissioned Peeta for 2 large paintings for his office. The advance alone was enough to allow Peeta to find his own apartment again and he was gone by the time I eventually moved back in. Plutarch was so pleased with his pieces he held a small party to show off his newest art. Soon after Peeta was in and dated with requests for paintings and Plutarch kindly offered to fund an art gallery to showcase all his work. The gallery opens in a week and I have been dreading the invite.

We haven't spoken since that night in the hospital. Peeta has tried to reach out every now and again and Madge keeps dropping comments about how he is doing, trying to get some kind of response out of me, but mostly I ignore them. I still find it hard to think about him.

"It should be a fun night," Madge says. "Plutarch is throwing money at this thing. Lots of free champagne and it will give us all an opportunity to dress up and hang out together."

"Yeah, I hear Chaff is even flying in. The night always ends up crazy when he is around," Thom adds.

I place the card back down on the table.

"Well you'll have to tell me all about it," I reply.

The disappointment on Madge's face is obvious.

"You are the only person he really wants there," she states sadly.

"Well he's going to be disappointed," I reply before picking up my remaining mail and beginning to move out of the kitchen.

Madge gets up off the couch and makes her way somewhat angrily towards me. She plants herself firmly in front of me, blocking my path to my bedroom. I see the anger in her eyes and I know she is going to let out what she has been dying to say to me for months.

For the first time in our lives, things have become strained between us. I know I have put her in an awkward position. I openly refuse to talk about Peeta and rebuff any attempts she tries to bring him up. I know she is struggling to be there for us both without upsetting the other.

At first she was more understanding of my feelings but as time has gone on I can see her frustration growing at the fact I haven't made any attempts to make amends. With her standing in front of me now I know she is finally going to confront me about it.

"I haven't said anything up to this point, because you are my best friend Katniss. But god damn it! I hate what you are doing to my brother!" she exclaims.

I just stare back at her, bracing myself for all she is going to throw at me.

"I understand you needed someone to blame but it took two people that night. You are blaming him for something that was out of his control! He misses you and it is killing him that you can't forgive him. Every day he asks me how you are and if I think you would speak to him if he called you. I hate hearing the pain in his voice when I tell him that I don't think you will. I don't want to have to choose between you both but you are forcing me to Katniss. Please, just at least talk to him," she pleads.

I stare back at her sadly. I hate that I have put our friendship in this position. I can see the pleading look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not ready," I say and I move past her to shut myself away in my bedroom.

I collapse on my bed and hide my face in my hands. Why did everything have to get so complicated?

The saddest thing is I know Madge is right. I realised a while ago that Peeta was not to blame for my father's death and any anger I felt towards him was just away to mask my own guilt that I was not there when he died. Peeta never forced me to be with him. I had wanted it, wanted him, in that moment.

And I miss him.

At my lowest points, it is his arms I crave to comfort me. His reassuring words to soothe me. I want to hear his stories and to laugh with me at his attempts at archery and my attempts at drawing.

I just want him.

But it has been 3 months. I don't know what to say to him after so long. I am embarrassed about the way I have treated him. I am not good at articulating my feelings and fear any attempts I make will only make it worse. The fear of ruining things for good is holding me back from putting things right.

In the meantime I will carry on distracting myself with work and hope a solution presents itself at some point.

Things are tense between Madge and I the next week. I am still working ridiculous hours and she has spent more time at Thom's place. The brief times we do see each other we exchange nothing more than a few pleasantries, asking politely about the other's day or to remind us to pick up some groceries. I know things won't get better unless I sort things out with Peeta. I never thought our friendship would come to this.

It seems everyone I know is going to Peeta's gallery opening. Even Prim and Darius have driven up and are taking Mom. Since the funeral Mom has at least gotten back to a functioning human being. You can see in her eyes that she misses Dad every day but Aunt Effie has been surprisingly good at keeping my mom busy. Mom has been seen volunteering at many different charity organisations these past few months and has even set up the Heath Everdeen Fund to help large families with only one parent to support them. It is the type of organisation that would have been life saving to my dad's family just after his own father died.

I know Mrs Mellark has been on Peeta's case about our mysterious break up and is desperate for me to go to the opening. It seems Peeta decided to spare her the true story about our relationship. She was just so invested in it. She has been pestering Madge for weeks now to find out exactly why we "broke up" so she can interfere and try and fix it. Prim has also begged me to go to the opening but I am just at a loss of how to fix things between Peeta and me. And at a public gallery opening is the last place I want to do so.

Instead I decide to stay in, wear pyjamas and watch some documentaries on the Discovery Channel I have been meaning catch for ages.

I have barely gotten 5 minutes into the first documentary when there is a loud knocking at the door. I frown as I pause the documentary and reluctantly get up to answer the door. I have barely opened the door when a small muscular body pushes her way inside and plonks herself down on an arm chair. I slowly turn to face Johanna.

"I thought you were going to the opening," I say confused by her presence.

Johanna sits upright in the chair and gives me a stare that demands her attention. I take an apprehensive seat in the chair opposite her.

"Yeah well I was going to and spend the latter part of the evening with Peeta's hot friend, Thresh's magnificent cock buried deep inside of me, but decided that your needs are bigger than mine. So you owe me Brainless," she states.

"I don't have any needs," I reply.

"Ha!" Johanna barks. "And that is exactly why I am staging you an intervention. I am tired as fuck of you moping about and I want my friend back."

I look down at my sock covered feet in embarrassment.

"You used to be so much fun in college. You were up for anything, spontaneous, unintentionally funny…. but then Gale ruined you," she says.

I don't know how to respond to that. What can I say when I know she is right?

"I know you Katniss. You have thrown yourself into work to distract yourself from what happened at Glimmer's wedding. You did it with Gale, but now it is even worse. I haven't seen you in 2 months! You don't go out. You barely acknowledge Madge or talk to Prim. I know you are finding it hard with the loss of your dad but he's only part of it. You have to admit you are also trying to distract yourself from a certain blonde haired, blue eyed painter."

Johanna pauses and stares at me to see if I have a response but I am still struggling to find the right words. She sighs before speaking again.

"I heard how you were with him at the wedding. How you forgot about work and actually allowed yourself to have fun. How you stood up to Gale. How you had a smile on your face more often than a scowl. That sounds like my friend in college. I don't want to see you push away the one person who managed to get you to do those things. The one person who can help you get through your dad's death."

For the first time I allow myself to think back to the wedding and being there with Peeta. I had been dreading the wedding and having to pretend but now as I look back I'm faced with lots of good memories. Peeta teaching me to draw, Peeta and I beating Aunt Effie and Uncle Haymitch in the tennis, dancing horribly with Peeta at the dance rehearsals, singing to *NSYNC at 4 in the morning with Peeta.

Peeta, Peeta, Peeta.

He was everywhere at the wedding. My heart aches for that again.

"I've left it too late," I state, hanging my head resigned.

Johanna raises her eyebrows after I finally respond before leaning forward and placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Bullshit," she states. "He's in love with you Katniss. He'd cut off his right arm if it meant you would talk to him again."

"But what would I even say? You know I am crap at talking about my feelings," I reply fiddling with the end of my braid.

"Then do what you do best and show him. You have always been an act first, think later person. For once that could work in your favour. You miss him. That is obvious. Stop getting in the way of your own happiness."

I look at Johanna, pondering what she has just said. I am well aware that my actions have been affecting my relationships with both Peeta and Madge. Why have I let it get this far? I could have sorted this out months ago but instead I have let my pride get in the way and refused to admit out loud I have been wrong. These last few months could have been so much easier it I had allowed it.

"Okay. I'll do it. I'll go and see him," I finally say.

Johanna gives me a triumphant smile.

"At last!" she declares dramatically and she throws her hands in the air. "Let's find you something to wear for this thing tonight."

Johanna pushes herself off the arm chair and begins to make her way to my bedroom. I get up and follow closely behind her.

"I'm not going to the opening," I state. Johanna turns round and frowns. "I need to do this in private."

Johanna nods her head in understanding and I lead her into my bedroom to prepare myself for seeing him.

40 minutes later I am showered and dressed in a clean pair of jeans and embellished top Johanna has made me wear. I finish blow drying my hair and leave it down in loose waves. The butterflies start to form in my stomach as I get closer to seeing him again. Johanna watches me get changed from the end of the bed, her legging clad legs crossed out in front of her.

"Not bad Everdeen. Still think you should go in just a trench coat and stockings, but this is not bad," she comments.

I turn round to glare at her as I pick up my purse on a nearby chair.

"If you have no more helpful comments you are free to leave," I state.

Johanna smirks and shakes her head before picking herself off the bed.

"Okay I get the message Brainless. Just remember when you have grandkids to tell them that their Great Aunt Jo was the sole person responsible for getting their grandparents together," she says.

I roll my eyes at her.

"I'll keep that in mind," I say as I usher her out of the door. I am anxious to get going and see him again.

I lead Johanna to the door and open it, stepping aside to let her past. She saunters out with a triumphant smirk and walks to the elevator.

"Oh and Katniss, I know I moaned about not seeing you recently, but I understand if you can't make it this next week. I would want Hot Buns buried deep inside me all week too," Johanna says cheekily before giving me a wink.

I go a deep red and Johanna laughs as she walks into the open elevator.

However my embarrassment does not stop my mind from wondering back to that night before everything went wrong. How muscular his body was, how good his hands felt kneading my flesh, how big and thick he felt moving inside of me. I can feel the wetness seep into my panties.

I shake my head to rid these thoughts. One step at a time. I don't even know if he still wants me. He might not be able to forgive me for the way I have treated him. The butterflies in my stomach begin to multiple as my nerves at seeing him overtake me. I step back inside to quickly grab my car keys and the keys to his apartment that Madge keeps in case of emergency. I hope she understands why I am taking them now.

Peeta's new apartment is on the other side of town and it takes me a while to get there. My nervousness only increases the closer I get. I am torn between excitement at finally seeing him again and fear at him rejecting my apology.

Eventually I pull up outside the small new build apartment block and nervously get out the car. The building is quite nice for a new build with large glass windows and potted plants outside, but still lacks the character of older buildings. I fumble with the keys as I turn them in the lock but manage to get inside and locate his apartment easily.

I snap on the light as I enter and take in his apartment for the first time. It is open plan like my own apartment with a large glass window taking up the entire length of the back wall. The kitchen area is large with many of the latest kitchen gadgets and utensils. I smile at the pots of dirty cake mix and counters tops caked in flour. You can take the boy out the bakery, but not the bakery out the boy.

I don't have much of a plan for what I am going to say or do when I see him. I had just planned to come round here and wait until he gets back from the opening. Hopefully I will know what to do when I see him. I look at my watch and notice it is only 9.30. I know the thing started at 7 but I have no idea how long gallery openings last for. I could be waiting until the small hours of the morning for all I know.

I move around the rest of the apartment studying some of the books and ornaments he has on his shelves. I spot the clay pot Madge and I made him for his 8th birthday. It resembles a molten piece of rock more than anything else but Madge and I had spent hours painstaking drawing on the tiny dinosaurs he had loved so much at the time.

I move to the large open area at the back of the room that has been set up as his art studio. Tubes of paints and dirty paintbrushes litter the area. A large white canvas has been set up on the oak easel. He has only just begun the painting so there are only a few markings on the page that don't resemble much of anything yet. I stretch out a hand to trace the markings on the canvas. The canvas feels roughs underneath my fingertips and I wonder what it is he is painting.

I spy an open sketch pad with a photograph of a rose garden taped inside. I bend down to study the photograph. There are small sketches surrounding the photo and when I hold it up next to the canvas I can see the markings match the small sketch he has in the left hand corner. I smile proud that I have figured out the mysterious composition before I start flicking through the rest of the pages in the book.

The book is filled with drawings varying in detail. As I flick through I notice a distinct theme. A hand greedily reaching for a cheese bun, a pair of Playboy bunny ears lying on a dresser, the back of slender figure tying her hair into a braid. It may not be obvious to the casual observer but I am everywhere. He has drawn our week at the wedding.

The images slowly become less and less subtle and I am soon looking at countless images of myself. Some I am alone, other's with Peeta's arms wrapped around me. I am left speechless as I study image after image of my face. I am taken aback by the way he has portrayed me. I have never thought myself to be neither particularly beautiful nor unattractive, but the way Peeta draws me I appear as radiant as the sun. I can feel the love and devotion used to create each image seep out the pages as I flick through memorised.

The very last image in the book is of 2 children, a boy and a girl, one with curly blonde hair, the other with a long dark braid. I am left breathless at the implication.

What scares me the most is that I want these children. These made up children that Peeta has drawn. Our children. Our future. I am brought back to the conversation with my dad about giving him grandchildren, how much I wanted Peeta to have a child. How I now know I want to be the person that gives them to him.

I am startled by the lock turning behind me. I jump round, still clutching the sketchbook in my right hand.

Peeta freezes once he sees me. He is wearing a good fitting pale grey suit but has taken the jacket off and tucked it under one arm. The navy tie he is wearing has been loosened slightly and the shirt's top bottom has been undone. His blonde curls, which had obviously been styled at the start of the night, are beginning to win their fight against whatever gel was holding them in place to begin with. In the 3 months I had forgotten just how attractive he is.

I soak in every inch of his body before finally settling on his brilliant blue eyes. I can see the shock and confusion behind them. I know this is my moment to say something but now that he is standing in front of me my mind has gone blank. Instead with both continue to stare at each other neither quite believing we are seeing the other. That is until his eyes fall down to glimpse the sketchpad in my hands. His eyes go wide as he spots the image of the children he has drawn.

"Shit Katniss," he says rushing towards me. "I never meant for you to see that."

He begins to stride towards me so he can take the sketchpad off me but I only pull it closer to my chest.

"I like it," I reply my words stopping him in his tracks when he is a few steps away from me. The look of surprise is evident on his face as he tries to figure out if he heard correctly.

I still don't have the words to tell him how I am feeling. I still don't know where to start but I know the longer I stay silent the worse things will get. I decide some words are better than no words.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you, I should have come to the opening, I don't blame you…," the words begin to tumble out of my mouth in no particular order or with any logical thought. I just sprout out the next thought that comes into my head. I have so much I want to say to him and it all comes out in a bit of rush, one word blending into the next. I can see Peeta struggle to keep up but now I have started I can't stop.

"I was scared, I'm sorry I ignored you, I don't regret sleeping with you, I want to do it again, I miss you…"

I don't get to say anything more because Peeta takes the final few steps towards me and grabs my head to swallow my words with a breath taking kiss. The impact on my nervous system is instant as the feel of his lips causes every nerve end to tingle from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. He tastes of champagne and I eagerly grip his wrists to deepen the kiss. I hadn't realised how much I craved this. I have missed this. I have missed him.

"I'm sorry," Peeta says between kisses. "I hate that I kept you away from your dad when he needed you most."

I gently shake my head at him, rubbing my nose against his.

"Don't," I state firmly. "I'm the one that needs to apologise. I shouldn't have blamed you. It was out of your control. I wasn't fair."

"No you had every right to blame me…"

I cut him off with another searing kiss.

"Stop. Let's just agree to forgive each other," I say once we have come up for air.

Peeta nods his head before dipping his head back down to capture my lips.

This kiss is softer than the ones before, more gentle and full of promise. Peeta ends the kiss with a soft peck on my nose.

"I love you," I whisper looking up into his cerulean eyes. Peeta looks like a kid on Christmas morning as he lets my words sink in. He rests his forehead against mine and smiles giddily at me.

"I love you too."

I return his ridiculous big grin and tuck a fly away curl behind his ear.

"So Glimmer has rearranged her wedding for Christmas. Will you be my plus one?" I ask a little nervously.

"For real?" Peeta asks with a teasing smile. I smile and nod my head.

"Always," he replies. "Now please let me take you to bed."

A/N: So that's the resolution of the story! I hope everyone has enjoyed Katniss and Peeta's journey. It's been very up and down for them, but I hope you are all satisfied with the outcome. There is an epilogue that will be published next Monday, so the story is not quite done yet.

Thanks again to everyone who had read/reviewed this story. The response has been amazing.