Chapter 19: Speak Your Thoughts

Harry watched the country side pass by. Gellert had reached up to get a book out of his bag and was currently reading it. Harry didn't know what the subject of the book was, but he was sure it was a magic book that had been transfigured into one that looked like a Muggle book.

"How old are you?" Gellert asked, suddenly looking up at Harry as they passed through the country side in France toward Paris.

"I'm 18," he said. "Yourself?"

"17," he said. "Thank Merlin."

"Why do you say that?" Harry asked, slightly confused.

He sighed and dropped his book beside him. "I can finally do magic outside of school and my mother finally let me come to England on my own. You know what I mean, right? Parents being so overbearing. It's a nightmare."

Harry didn't know about parents, but he nodded, anyway. He'd been around enough teachers. Dumbledore had even kept him locked up at the Dursley's for long enough with little information about what was going on.

He also understood the feeling of being free. He'd felt it after Voldemort was gone and after all the funerals. One day he had been out with Ginny, Ron, and Hermione near the pond at The Burrow. They were all sitting at the edge of the pond, talking quietly to each other about things that didn't involve the war or Fred, and it had been nice.

"Any reason why you're going to England?" Harry asked.

"Just to visit auntie," he said.

Harry had a feeling he was lying, but didn't think it would be the best idea to question that any further.

"Why were you in Germany?" Gellert asked.

"I had to deliver something," he said.

"Work related?"

"No," Harry said.

Gellert studied him again. Harry couldn't make eye contact with him. He wasn't sure if Gellert was a occlumens or not. He had to be careful.

"What's your work, anyway?" Gellert asked, looking him up and down again. "I don't know what a home-schooled wizard would do."

"I was actually the Defense Against the Dark Arts teaching assistant for a few months this year," Harry said.

"Impressive," he said, nodding approvingly. "As an apprentice?" Harry nodded, thinking he might as well say being Merrythought's assistant was that. He couldn't risk explaining anything to someone like Gellert.

There was a slight pause.

"Durmstrang doesn't use much defense," said Gellert, glancing out the window. Harry thought he spotted the faintest ghost of a mischievous smile on his face, but put that off as some kind of arrogance. "They've always taught us to know the Dark Arts before you learn how to defend against them. That way you understand them completely. I believe in that very strongly. Though, with a Headmaster like yours, the students should be learning more Dark Arts. I heard the Black family is notorious in the English Wizarding world."

There was no denying now that the grin Gellert had was an impish smile, and Harry got the feeling that he actually liked the Dark Arts and couldn't care less about the defense.

Then, Harry remembered whom he was speaking to. Of course he loved the Dark Arts! He was the second most evil wizard in the twentieth century! Harry didn't necessarily like him, but he didn't seem as horrible as Voldemort. Dumbledore had trusted him for a while.

"So you do know that person I was talking about."

That pulled Harry out of his thoughts. "What?" he asked.

"The boy at Hogwarts. The smart one. Dumbfore or something."

"Dumbledore," Harry said, correcting him. "Yes, I know of him," Harry lied.

"Is he really as talented as my auntie said?"

"Better."

Gellert stared at him for a while. Harry looked at the boy's mouth, seeing how the edges curled in another grin. He looked up to his eyes and saw they had the slightest twinkle in them, as if this delighted him.

"This will be an interesting summer, then."

Harry felt panic rise in his chest. "You think you'll see him a lot?"

Grindelwald shrugged and stood up. "I'm going to track down the trolley. Do you want anything?"

Harry shook his head and Gellert left without another word.

Harry didn't know what to think. Somehow, Harry felt he'd had a conversation like that before. He'd heard the words he'd just said- "You think you'll see him a lot?"- and it was only brought up to his consciousness after Gellert left the compartment.

He thought hard for a moment. Where had that come from? He'd just been repeated someone else's words.

An image of Aberforth came into his head. But not the old one he knew in his time. He couldn't remember anything the 15 year old said; he actually hadn't really had many conversations with that Aberforth. Only the ones from when he was in detention with the grindylows.

How had those words been associated with the Dumbledore family before?

But, then, it came to him.

It was three days after the last of the funerals that he'd gone to after the battle. He still hadn't shook his thoughts about going to Snape's funeral, how he saw Snape's mother there and only handful of students he'd taught in the past. That had been the loneliest funeral he'd gone to, but not the saddest because he was sure Fred's topped the list with that… George's speech that had trailed off half way through as he broke down, more vulnerable than Harry or any of his friends and family had ever seen the other twin be.

Harry had been sitting on a stage before the press and Ministry workers in the center of the grand entrance hall of the Ministry of Magic. Hermione sat beside him as Kingsley Shacklebolt stood at the podium, talking into the crowd for the official press release and medals ceremony. Harry would be receiving Order of Merlin First Class, but he didn't want it. He stared down at his hands, feeling dazed from all the flashing lights and the memories.

He knew he was coming on to his crash after the adrenaline rush that had flowed through him since the battle and after as he attended the funerals. He was sure the funerals were the only things that had kept him going for so long. But, now, all that he wanted to do was sleep for days on end and not have to worry about Voldemort or the war anymore.

"-To Harry Potter."

He looked up. He had no idea what Kingsley had just said, but he stood up when he saw that Kingsley was gesturing to him.

A heavy weight fell across his chest before he knew it. He stared down at the heavy medal now laying on his chest in the exact spot the Horcrux had left a scar, and then Kingsley stepped away from the podium, allowing Harry to speak.

He blinked as the flashing began heavily again. He couldn't see a thing, but that was probably best.

"Good afternoon," he'd said, his strong voice surprising him. "I'm sure you'd all agree that it's been a very long few decades. It's been a long journey, and I've only been apart of it for 18 years this July."

He paused, hearing quills scratching down his every word.

"I agreed to come speak to you all today only because I feel it is a chance to remind everyone of what this war has done to the Wizarding and even Muggle community. There have been so many lives taken and families torn apart since Tom Riddle rose to power as Voldemort. The truth about Voldemort does not lie in his prejudice opinions of magical blood or his obsession with power. He was not only a true genius that chose to use his powers for only himself, to keep himself from dying, but someone who was more complicated than that.."

Harry took in a breath, glancing at Hermione. She smiled and nodded, giving him quiet reassurance that he was doing fine.

"Albus Dumbledore knew Tom very well. He'd kept an eye on him all throughout his school years at Hogwarts and learned as much as he could about him, which he passed on to me in my sixth year at Hogwarts. Professor Dumbledore was very adamant about me learning about Voldemort's past before I could-" Harry paused, looking down at his hands, "end him. I learned about his motivations and his family and I learned something that was vital about his thoughts and views.

"In turn, for years before I even knew of a prophecy that helped determine my destiny, Professor Dumbledore made sure I understood what Voldemort knew not. He always told me it was my love for my family and friends that has helped save me throughout the years. Love and choices are the most important things in this world. He once said to me that it is our choices rather than our abilities that make us who we are.

"Voldemort knew neither the importance of love and the importance of choice. He never knew love, having grown up in a callous environment. He never learned the importance of choice, either. He could have chose many other paths, but, instead, he chose to use his powers as a way to gain power and immortality, rather than attempt to find love in a world he knew in his heart could provide him none. He never attempted to find or understand love, and that was where the problem was."

Harry closed his eyes again and then lifted his head up to stare out into the crowd for the first time. He thought about every funeral he'd been to. Fred, Snape, Remus, Tonks, Colin, and Dumbledore's from a year before. Had that really only been a year ago? He thought about each them, how each of them smiled and laughed before that got completely blocked by the pain and suffering they'd gone through during their years- Snape and Dumbledore especially. How they'd suffered so much for love, but learned so much from it.

"Today should be felt as a way to celebrate. As glad as I am that Voldemort is gone, I am not rejoicing in the fact that he is gone. He has hurt and killed too many for me to feel the same happiness. His deeds have caused a great weight on the Wizarding world. I believe that this is a time to rebuild instead of focusing on the past, because if we dwell too much on that, then the only place we'll be is somewhere that is intangible.

"I ask you all to remember those lost and those who have suffered at the hands of Lord Voldemort, and to also keep in mind the horrors that Voldemort has caused us. But do not dwell on it. Keep the love you know you have and choose to do great things that only better yourselves and the community. We have a lot to do to rebuild and that will only come to those who think of the world as one piece rather than separate pieces in times that are difficult. Thank you."

Harry turned away from the flashing lights and the scratching quills. As he sat back down next to Hermione, she grinned. "That was really good," she said to him.

He smiled and looked away, down to the left. There, in the doorway, he saw a retreating figure of a grey haired man. Just before he disappeared completely, he looked up and caught eyes with Harry. Those clear clue eyes twinkled before he turned away completely.

"Do you think you'll see him a lot?" asked Hermione.

Harry didn't respond. He just concentrated on the darkness of the hall.

He'd gone to see the retreating figure for the first time the next day, but it wasn't until the fourth time he visited Aberforth that he said anything about being at the press conference the other day.

"That was a nice speech, Potter," he said. "How much of that was made up of my brother's quotes?"

Harry only laughed and brought the butterbeer up to his lips.

Now, as Harry sat in the compartment, he thought about the Dumbledores, how their mother and sister were near death and this boy he'd just met was a cause of one of those deaths.

He was lost. Should he really just let them die? But what would that mean for Albus Dumbledore? Would he feel the same way about Voldemort and about Harry if half his family was gone?

Harry jumped abruptly. That had been a huge blast he heard, hadn't it been?

He stood up, his heart pounding as he looked out into the corridor.

A blonde boy was running toward him. It took him a moment to realize it was Gellert retreating from a compartment filled with smoke. Harry's eyes widened as Gellert reached him and pushed him into the compartment. He grabbed his bags from overhead and the book from the seat.

"I did nothing!" he yelled before there was a crack and he was gone.

Harry blinked, astounded.

Then, he ran down the hall to see what had happened.

A Muggle man in a suit lay unconscious in his compartment. Either dead or alive, he couldn't tell as a woman in a fancy hat attended to him.

"What happened?" he asked.

"The blonde boy!" she said, her accent French. "He did this. I do not know what happened. They had a fight in German. He did something, but I do not know much of it."

Harry sighed, his decision made up.

Albus had to learn. He had to. He'd taught Harry so much about love and choices. If Dumbledore didn't learn through his experiences, then who would bring down Grindelwald and who would help Harry defeat Voldemort?

He wouldn't let Dumbledore meet Grindelwald alone, at least.

When the man was determined to just have suffered a concussion, Harry went back to his compartment and made the plan that he wished Hermione had been there to help him with.

Albus smiled as he downed his dress robes a week later. Today was the day. He was finally graduating Hogwarts with the plan to journey across Europe before he went to work in the Ministry.

"Ready, Elphias?" he asked him as he pocketed his wand and adjusted his long hair over his shoulders

"Yes, sir," he said happily as they left the room, which had already been packed up and cleaned. Albus didn't look back on it. He'd already mourned it gradually rather than all at once. "I can't believe it's finally here!"

He didn't mind that it was the last time he'd walk through these halls. He stared around, anyway, taking in everything. He said good-bye to his favorite portrait of a man who had been a dragon fighter in 1300, and waved to his classmates as they said bye to him already.

As they approached the Great Hall, Elphias smiled up at him. "Good luck with your speech. I'm sure it'll be excellent."

"Thank you. I'll see you afterward and we can go down to the train together."

He smiled, shook Albus' hand, and left him to straight into Great Hall. Albus had to meet with Professor Black and Merrythought to walk in with them and the other teachers.

As soon as he stepped into the hallway off to the side of the Great Hall, he found Merrythought watching nervously for him. "There you are, Dumbledore," she said as she straightened out his robes unnecessarily. "Oh, you look handsome. Are you ready to graduate? Do you have your speech ready?

He nodded, raising his eyebrows at her nervousness. "Professor, what's wrong?" he asked. They were only graduating. There was nothing to be nervous about. She wasn't even going to speak.

Suddenly, her eyes watered and he understood.

"Oh, Professor, it's okay," he said. "You'll see me again."

She shook her head, wiping her tears off her face and taking a deep breath. "You've been very good student, Albus. I'm just proud of you."

"Thank you, ma'am," he said.

She straightened up immediately after that and wandered off to Professor Black to speak to him normally. Albus smiled and shook his head. He didn't understand women sometimes.

After a few minutes of running his speech through his head again for the sixth time that day, all the teachers lined up. Merrythought pulled him over to her and he stood in front of her, directly behind Black.

Then, they proceeded into the Great Hall that had been transformed into rows of chairs. He spotted Elphias immediately amongst the chatting students and families. Albus knew there was no use to look for his mom and sister. They wouldn't be there, even though there were seats in the back reserved for families of the graduates. He knew his brother would be back there, but he didn't bother looking. Instead, he smiled at Elphias, and then sat down beside Merrythought.

Professor Black went straight to the podium and the hall quieted down as he said "Sonorus," with his wand pointed to his vocal chords.

"Good Morning students, parents', and faculty of Hogwarts," he said. "Today we celebrate the 913th graduating class of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

Albus went through the speech again, hardly caring to listen to Professor Black. He pretended to look as if he was listening patiently and respectfully, but he had to admit to himself that he was a little nervous.

And before he knew it, he heard his name called. "Today we have an excellent student speaker. He is one of Hogwarts' most diligent students, having already received many, many awards- of which I could not possibly name all- for his contributions to Transfiguration and Alchemy studies. He writes regularly for Transfiguration Today and has had numerous offers from many of the Ministry of Magic departments for work after school. It has been my pleasure to watch him throughout the years as he achieved so much already in his 18 years. I'm sure he will have a very large impact on the Wizarding world in the future. Please welcome Albus Dumbledore."

The nervousness went away as he smiled kindly and stood from his seat. He stepped up to the podium and performed the Sonorus spell as well.

"Good morning-" he paused, laughing at the sound of his voice amplified so much. "Odd, this spell. It's truly wonderful." The crowd laughed and he felt himself ease more at the podium. "Thank you, Professor Black, for that introduction. As he has said, my name is Albus Dumbledore and I am honored to represent this graduating class. I feel this generation of Hogwarts will do many great things in the future."

He paused, staring out at the faces of his peers.

"I, like everyone else in this room, have no idea where the future will take us. I will not ramble on about the past, because I feel as if that will get us all nowhere. Things have already been established there. I could talk about the present, but what good is that when we're all sitting in this Great Hall, listening to some odd young man bamble on? But-

He paused again.

"The future."

He stopped there for a moment, still surveying the students. "It's an unknowable place. What will happen in the next minute? What will happen tomorrow or, even more radical, a hundred years from now? How are we supposed to know how to continue after we have been placed into a safe place such as Hogwarts for seven years? There is so much that can happen and so much that can be forced upon us unknowingly. There could be happy times of peace and prosperity, but then again, there could be times of uncertainty, of war and tragedy that we would have to overcome.

"For years, I have been working toward the future, to this day where I am free to make a career that will bring me the opportunities that I wish to have. It's strange to be here, standing before everyone. It's like a faraway dream that I have been dwelling on has come true without me truly realizing it.

"But what am I supposed to do with this sudden opportunity that I have worked so hard for? I only have so much knowledge that I can use to make the most of the future, so how are we supposed to create an ultimate happiness that benefits everyone? How can we prevent wars that may or may not happen in the future? How can peace and prosperity possibly be realized?"

He searched for Aberforth. He didn't know why, but he did. He found him sitting in the very back corner, his arms crossed as Albus spoke. He turned his head away when Albus caught his eye.

"I believe this can be achieved through action. We must act if we want the greatest happiness. We must sort out our own responsibilities and use that to the benefit of the majority. We all must take part in creating the best future for ourselves, rather than standing by and letting others do it for us. We must choose to act on what is right, and we must make procedure to understand our intentions and create the best set of outcomes to avoid any wrong doing in the future.

"The strengths of each person need to combine to create a stable environment. With compassion and choice, we can succeed in making the future a happy place to live and work."

Everyone sat in silence. He stared across the Great Hall for another long moment. Elphias' mouth hung open slightly.

He took in a deep breath. "We can achieve great things. As I stand up here today, I beg each and every one of you to think of the future, to make choices that connect to your strengths and make you who you are. With compassion and love, we can all make the future a place where all are happy. Graduates, you have been given this opportunity to do great things. You have the knowledge and skill to have made it to this day, where you know enough to make a career. I congratulate you on your success of graduating Hogwarts, but most importantly, I grant you the best for the future. Thank you."

He released the spell.

The crowd clapped politely. Albus sat back down next to Merrythought, who was staring at him. He ignored her as Professor Black went back to the podium.

"Thank you, Mr. Dumbledore, for that enlightening speech. Now we will proceed with calling out the graduates names."

Albus was happy once his name was called right after Elphias. He joined him down with the students rather than staying up with the teachers.

As the rest of the names were called, Elphias leaned to him. "What was that speech? Trying to put propaganda on the students? This is a school, Albus, not the government."

Albus didn't respond. Instead, he clapped as "Suzie McAuley" was called.

"Albus."

"What? These people are the government," he said back. And it was true. Most would go on to work for Ministry of Magic. They'd been confined to the school for so long, why not talk about the government now when they're about to start work in it?

When the ceremony was over, everyone seemed congregated in the Entrance Hall, hugging each other and collecting their trunks that the House Elves had placed in in there. Then, they all made there way down to Hogsmeade for the Hogwarts Express.

Albus only looked up once as he boarded the train with Aberforth.

The castle loomed over them.

And Albus felt his eyes prickle finally.

"Bye, Hogwarts," he said softly.

He would miss it more than he could ever know.

A/N: Hey guys, sorry again for another long wait. My grandpa died in late February and school has been a nightmare. I've just somehow gotten really into writing this past week. But, anyway, sorry again for that long break and please review if you'd like to. If school doesn't kill me in the next couple weeks (and it's very likely, honestly. Come to my funeral?), expect another update very, very soon!

Hopefully you understand the speeches. I was trying to get at the Greater Good in Dumbledore's speech. Hopefully it's okay.