Chapter 12
Cafeteria- Day
*The cafeteria is decorated for Thanksgiving.*
Ariel: They're these weird Swedish nutrition bars my mom uses to lose weight.
Megara: Gimme it.
*Megara takes a bite and looks at the wrapper.*
Megara: It's all in Swedish.
Ariel: Yeah. They're high in protein.
Megara: So, it's Atkins?
Ariel: No, you have carbs for breakfast, the protein for—
Megara:-So it's the Zone.
Ariel: Except these have some weird ingredient in them that's not legal yet in the U.S. It's kind of like-
Megara: -Ephedrine?
Ariel: No.
Megara: Hentermine?
Ariel: Yeah.
Megara: I wanna lose three pounds.
*The girls realize too late what they're supposed to say.*
Aurora: Oh my God? What are you talking about?
Snow: You are so skinny.
Ariel: Yeah.
*Megara is insulted and bites into the bar again.*
Other side of the cafeteria
*John and Jasmine watch from their table. Jasmine shakes her head.*
Jasmine: Megara's gonna figure this out. She probably weighs herself every five minutes.
John: Wait. There's this trick I learned at fat camp. You pop the top off the scale, and you take some dental floss…
Megara's House- Friday
*The Plastics head into Megara's room. Ariel ducks into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. She takes a screwdriver out of her bookbag and pops open the back of Megara's scale. She pokes a hole in the cardboard dial with a safety pin. She takes some dental floss out of her knocks on the door.
Megara: Ariel!
Ariel: One second.
*Ariel threads the dental floss thorugh the hole. She ties it off so that the floss is taught when the scale reads 112.*
Megara: When you come out I'm gonna pluck your eyebrows okay? And Aurora wants to give you bangs.
Aurora: It's gonna look so fetch.
*Megara rolls her eyes.*
Megara: And snow brought some make-up for you.
Ariel: Okay.
*Ariel pops the top back on the scale. She steps on it, it stops at 112. She puts her backpack on. It still reads 112. She picks up a large potted plant and holds it while on the scale, with her backpack on. It still reads 112.*
Megara: Hurry up!
*Flustered, Ariel opens the door and tries to look nonchalant.*
Ariel: Let's do it.
School Hallway- Day
*The Plastics, including Ariel with new bangs, etc, walk the halls in slow motion, looking like a 'Sex and the City' commercial.
Ariel: *V.O.* When you were with the Plastics, it was like being famous. People looked at you all the time. And everybody just knew stuff about you.*
*Montage of students speaking straight into the camera about the Plastics.*
Tiana: Snow is the tall one. She doesn't have a boyfriend right now.
Merida: But she hooked up with my cousin. Twice.
Coach: Last year her hair was a bob, but this year she's growing it out into long layers.
Kida: Aurora's favorite movie is Sleeping Beauty.
Gaston: Her cat's name is Merriweather.
Anastasia and Druizilla: That new girl moved here from Africa.
Gaston: Her cat's names are Sebastian and Flounder.
Charming: Megara is 5'4". She's a Leo.
Flora: She just got back together with Hercules.
Hallway
*Girl walking in slo-mo. Hercules comes into frame and puts his arm around Megara.*
Coach: Yep, she's back with Hercules.
Kida: It's so great that she's back with Hercules.
*Ariel trips on her high heels and takes an embarrassing slo-mo fall.
School Hallway- December
*Christmas music plays. The student center is decorated for the holidays. Jasmine, John and Ariel (dressed more fashionably) are in line. They discuss their plan in hushed tones without looking at each other.*
Jasmine: We have to crack Aurora. She's the keeper of all secrets. If this gets Aurora to crack, we'll have cracked the lock on Megara's secrets.
John: Say crack again.
Jasmine: Crack. Let's reconvene tonight.
Ariel: I can't. I have to go to Megara's to practice for the Talent Show. We're doing a dance to—
Jasmine: Jingle Bell Rock. I know. They do it every year.
John: Sweet mother of God, you're doing Jingle Bell Rock?
*Megara approaches.*
Ariel: Uh oh. Go.
*Jasmine and John scatter.*
Megara: Why were you talking to Jasmine?
Ariel: She's so weird. She just came up and started talking to me about crack.
Megara: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Jasmine. I was best friends with her in middle school. I know right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even…whatever. Then, in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, who ws totally gorgeous but he moved to Indiana, and Jasmine was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I blew her off to hang out with him she would be like, "why didn't you call me back?" and I would be like, "why are you so obsessed with me?" So then my birthday was an all-girls pool party and I was like, I can't invite you Jasmine because I think you're a lesbian. I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian there. Girls were going to be in their bathing suits. I mean, right? Then her mom called my mom and was, like, yelling at her. It was so retarted and then in the fall when we started high school all her hair was cut off and she was totally weird and now I think she does heroin.
*Kida walks by wearing a very light blue skirt with waves on it.*
Megara: Oh my God, I love your skirt. Where did you get it?
Kida: It was my mom's in the 80's.
Megara: Vintage! It's so cute.
Kida: Thanks.
*Kida smiles and leaves.*
Megara: That is the ugliest skirt I've ever seen.
*Ariel touches her bracelet and realizes that Megara was making fun of her that first day.*
Ariel: Are you sending candy canes?
Megara: I don't send them. I just get them. (leaving) You better send me one byotch.
*Ariel is now in front of the line.*
Ariel: *V.O.* Oh I was sending her one all right. I was gonna use three candy canes to cack Aurora.
Ariel: Three please.
*She starts to fill out a candy cane order slip.*