A/N: I'm glad so many people enjoyed Peeta standing up to Gale last outtake. I definitely enjoyed writing it. This outtake is set between chapters 13 and 14 and about a week after Mr Everdeen's funeral. Here we see heartbroken Peeta.

Outtake: Heart Sick

I heave another heavy box up onto the kitchen counter and begin rifling through its contents. The box is simply named nick nacks and is filled with pointless junk that I have collected over the years. To anyone else these items would be worthless but each item for me holds a special memory. I know this box will take longer to unpack than all the others. It won't take long for me to get lost in it all the memories.

I finally moved into this apartment last week and the boxes are finally beginning to dwindle. I found it quickly. It was literally the second place I saw. I just needed to find somewhere quick. And with the money from the commission from Plutarch I was able to find somewhere half decent. I had to get out of Madge's apartment. I didn't want to cause Katniss anymore pain.

My hand reaches into the box and pulls out a oddly shaped clay pot. I stop and pause as I pick up and inspect the item decorated with dinosaurs. I smile sadly at the memory of Katniss and Madge proudly presenting me with this on my 8th birthday. It didn't matter that it looked like a lump of rock. They had spent hours making it and that was the most important thing. It's the reason I have kept it all these years. But now I get a twinge of sadness from looking at it.

I just can't get her out of my head. Every time I am briefly not thinking about her something like this pot pops up to remind me what I did to her and how much I miss her. My sketch book is filled with various images of her that I can't get out of my head. The way she looked at me after the kiss before the bachelor party. Her scowl as she was left behind while the men all went hunting. Her laughing with Prim at the dance rehearsals. It is the only way I know how to cope with not seeing her.

I haven't seen Katniss since the funeral. That in itself was an ordeal. I have never seen her look so broken before. The Katniss I know is strong. She doesn't often show vulnerability. But that girl was a broken shell. It broke me to see her that way. I desperately wanted to scoop her up in my arms and hold onto to her to stop her from breaking.

But I wasn't allowed to do that. She has blocked any of my attempts to contact her. She doesn't want me.

And the worse thing is that I understand why she is shutting me out. I am to blame for some of her pain. The guilt at keeping her from her dad eats away at me. Even if her reaction is somewhat unreasonable I understand a little why she hates me.

I place the pot on an empty shelf and stand back to look at it. It seems ridiculous, but I can't help but want to keep the pot with me at all times. It's one of the few pieces I have left of her. Who knows if she will ever forgive me? I know she is stubborn. I may have to be content with only hearing about her through Madge.

I am interrupted from my brooding by the shrill ring of the buzzer. I make my way over to let my visitor in. Minutes later I open the door to Madge holding 2 cups of steaming coffee.

"Hey," she says stepping into the apartment and handing me the cup of black coffee. I can no longer take any sugar in my drinks. It's just too sweet.

"Hi," I reply closing the door behind me.

Madge takes off her jacket and places her purse on the couch before turning round to greet me properly.

"Looks like you don't need much of my help. The boxes are nearly all unpacked," she states breezily.

I smile at her and take a sip of my coffee before setting in down on a spare space of counter top.

"Just all the odd bits and pieces. You know the bits that actually make it feel like a home," I reply.

Madge smiles as she dips her hand into the box I had been unpacking. She picks out one of my old wrestling trophies and laughs.

"I remember this. It was the first time you beat Rye. He never did get over it. Still claims that he got distracted by Bonnie Twill winking at him," she reminisces.

"He was always a bad loser," I say with a smile as I walk over and take the trophy off her. I place it next to the dinosaur pot on the shelf.

Madge's eyes widen with delight as she catches sight of the pot and eagerly reaches out to grab it.

"God! This really was awful. You were such a good brother to accept this," she exclaims.

"How could I not love something from my favourite sister," I tease.

Madge smiles and shakes her head.

"I'm your only sister," she replies. "I remember Katniss and I arguing about what colour to paint the dinosaurs. I wanted to paint them green, but Katniss insisted orange as it was your favourite colour."

I give Madge a weak smile at the mention of her name. She spots this immediately and her eyes flood with pity.

"I'm so sorry Peeta. I didn't mean to bring her up," Madge apologises.

I shrug my shoulders trying to act indifferent.

"Don't feel bad. I want to hear about her," I reply.

"You don't make it easy for me when you look like that whenever I mention her name. All wounded and heartbroken," she says.

"I'm fine Madge," I state.

"No you're not. I know you too well and know that it is killing you to not see her."

I smile sadly at her. This has been hard on her. Katniss and I are two of the people she is closest too and it has been a strain on her running between us both. I know she doesn't want to look like she has picked sides. She loves us both and wants to be there for each of us.

"I can't blame her," I admit. "I took away her final moments with her dad. We both know how much he meant to her. I promised her dad that I would never hurt her. Yet in his death I have managed to hurt her the most. It kills me that I am the cause of some of her pain."

Madge looks at me sympathetically.

"Blaming yourself isn't going to make anything better. You didn't do anything wrong. Heath's death was out of your control. You sleeping with Katniss was not going to change that," she says.

I sigh and run a frustrated hand through my hair. In my head I know Madge is right. In the future I may even be angry with Katniss for shutting me out the way she has. But right now both our pain is too raw. I

"How is she anyway?" I ask curious to know if things have got any better.

"She has resorted to her fail safe coping mechanism. Working all hours to try and forget what has happened," Madge replies.

I look at her pained to know that things haven't improved.

"It's worse than when she broke up with Gale," Madge then states.

I look at her surprised about what she is insinuating. Madge then takes a step towards me.

"I know I may not have been too crazy about the idea of the two of you making the relationship real. And the thought of you two sleeping together still makes my skin crawl, but I hate seeing you both so miserable," she says earnestly.

"What can I do? She won't talk to me Madge! I want more than anything to make things right. I miss her so much. I hate not hearing about her day or not seeing her smile," I declare before taking a pause. "Do you think if I turned up at your place she would actually listen to me?"

Madge looks down sadly and shakes her head.

"It's still too raw. Your name has become taboo in our apartment. Maybe in a few weeks. We both know how stubborn she is, but I think she does love you," she replies.

I take a heavy sigh. I just want her to be okay. I nod in agreement with Madge. Madge smiles sadly at me and gives me a tight hug.

"I know it sucks. But hang in there. We all think you are the best thing for her," she says trying to soothe me. I nod my head into her shoulder.

She smiles at me again and then moves away to resume unpacking the boxes. I take another heavy sigh before going over to join her.

The conversation hasn't made me feel any better. Katniss is still hurting and avoiding confronting her feelings. My heart aches knowing the pain she is in. And I can't do anything to help her.