Dani's POV

You know that hart wrenching moment in a horror film when the victim struggles to close the door and the killer is sprinting towards them and for those few moments in the film where your heart beats really fast and you don't know what gonna happen but you know its gonna be good?
That's how I feel when I see Santana. My heart beats so fast, I get that sticky panic sweat under my boobs, that lump forms in my throat, and for those few minutes of not speaking I hold my breath in the hope and anticipation that I will be enough for this amazingly beautiful woman.
I've always been pretty self-conscious about myself, I don't take compliments I deflect them by saying something mean about myself, I don't know why it's just always been the case.

From day one I've always been on edge that Santana will get to that point where she will just up and leave without warning, it wouldn't be the first time it's happened. People just think that because I have low self worth that it'll be easy to get me into bed and I'm not like that. But Santana has been really great these past few days it's been hard having to re-live what I went through at home. It's one of the reasons I left when I did, I feel sorry for leaving my younger siblings to take the shit that I did but I couldn't deal with it anymore, the looks id get In the hallway at school for the black eye id have every other week, teachers sticking their nose in where it wasn't needed, I couldn't deal with all that crap anymore I had to get out of there. That's what brought me to New York, the city of massive opportunities, be who you wanna be, and be with whomever you want!

Back home they didn't accept me, I suppose when you walk in on your oldest daughter straddling a girl who was visibly half naked it can't be a sight any parent wants to see, but in my case it's a different kettle of fish all together (no pun or dirty joke intended)

I grew up in a Christian home we went to church every Sunday, followed by Sunday school, and every night we would spend an hour in a family circle discussing parts of the bible and at the tender young age of 15 I knew something was different. Girls at my school where developing crushes for boys and I was developing crushes on actresses and page 3 models. It wasn't the correct way for a young girl to be behaving but I was different and I wasn't going to be held back by any social or religious barriers. I wanted to do something about it, break boundaries, defy convention whatever it took. But for now I wanted it to be kept under wraps.

I had stopped going to Sunday school, of course my parents didn't know they just assumed I was behaving. I was behaving just not in a way they would be too accepting about.
So ditching Sunday school wasn't my idea, it was Anna's.

Anna was a girl I had met through Sunday school, but she was different like me. We would skip Sunday school and go to her basement where we would just spend all afternoon making out. Anna was my proper first girlfriend, she transferred schools so we could be together more, and we only really saw each other on Sunday so seeing her 6 days a week was incredible. No one at our school suspected a thing, they all though we were just close friends but we knew differently.
She would come to stay at my house every other Friday night, our parents grew close, being in the same church group and having well behaved daughters that were old enough to look after themselves proved an amazing quality when it came to Saturday night. Our parents would leave us alone in my house and my little brother and sister would go to a baby sitters, the perfect opportunity for some alone time.

Then it came to our one year anniversary we had been together a full year without anyone finding out, it was quite an achievement. But of course this is my life and as per usual it didn't quite turn out how I planned.

The basement in my house was never really used so it was our little hiding spot when we wanted to get our lady kisses on. It wasn't ideal but we couldn't exactly do it in the living room I had neighbors that watched the house constantly and they were kinda d-bags when it came to keeping an eye on the house, they always took it as if it were a paid security job!

Anyway back to the story...

we where down in the basement making out and things got a little heated, I was comfortable when I was with Anna she was good to me, saying it was our one year anniversary we decided that it was time to go all the way with each other. We had not anticipated the next 21 minutes and it was those 21 minutes that landed me in a confession box with the local pastor
so there we were getting it on for the first time. Both of us half naked and I was straddling her. I still remember to this day, that after making out for like 20 minutes she whispered in my ear 'stop with the kissing and fuck me already' that was extremely encouraging. So I did as I was told then in the full heat of the moment we both got lost in each other, and of course we didn't hear the basement door open or both my parents come down the stairs, that was of course until Anna climaxed and screamed my name as loud as possible, that sort of brought us back to earth and to my parents who were standing there shocked.

Just for the record I regret nothing!

Anna was my first at the age of 15 and I have to admit it wasn't exactly the best present id ever given my dad for his birthday!

That was the last I saw of Anna, her parents found out and shipped her off to a boarding school in England, it's a dumb idea if you ask me sending a lesbian to an all girls school it just spells trouble.

So yeah that was my life, of course my dad hitting me the other day wasn't the first id got into it with him, there was plenty more where that came from but I'd rather not get I to it right now.
And that brings me up to present day, that rapid beat of my heart, that sticky panic sweat under my boobs and that beautiful woman ...Santana. I get the urge to kiss Santana every time I see her; Santana is only the 2nd girl I've ever been in a relationship with. Anna was my first but I can sense something different about Santana, she's not like other girls, she's the first feminine dyke I've ever met ( I mostly attract big butch dykes who may as well be guys) but there's something about Santana... I think I've fallen for her, pretty damn hard.

I just hope she knows that not a day goes by where she can't make me smile, not a minute passes where I don't think of her and not a second goes by that I don't count my lucky stars and I can honestly say that Santana is the best thing that ever happened to me.