A/N: This takes place sometime after The Impossible Astronaut and Day of the Moon for the Doctor, though it is later for River. Sorry for the shortness! This chapter is for WholockedAnglophile, who suggested this idea a while back. Thanks everyone for the reviews and support! Enjoy! : )

31: Hair- any of the numerous fine, usually cylindrical, keratinous filaments growing from the skin of humans and animals; an aggregate of such filaments, as that covering the human head

The Doctor was fiddling with the TARDIS console when he heard the familiar 'crack' from behind him. Grinning, he turned to find River Song standing a few feet in front of him.

"River," he greeted.

"Doctor." She dipped her head.

"You can't stay."

Her eyebrows raised, her way of saying 'excuse me?' "Says who?"

Well, I don't think the other you in the living room with Amy and Rory would much appreciate you being here," he said.

She was suspicious. "Which me? Where are you?"

"Last time I saw you was 1969. We stopped the Silents during the Apollo 11 moon landing."

"Ah, still early for you then. You don't know who I am," she teased, talking slowly and smirking.

"Who are you, River Song?"

She merely looked at him for a few moments before announcing, "I must be off. I've got things to do. Would you mind dropping me off, though? I hate what this vortex manipulator does to my hair."

"And what would I tell the other you I was doing?"

"Fine. But when I end up with space hair it'll be your fault."

He thought about that. If he had to be honest with himself, he had no idea how she got her hair like that. Was it natural or did she style it? It was just so… frustratingly fascinating! The Doctor knew it was a risk to ask, but he couldn't help himself. "Why is your hair so big? Do you use some sort of product?"

River only laughed, shaking her head and preparing her vortex manipulator. Giving him a flirtatious look, she said, "Spoilers." Then there was a crack as she disappeared.

The Doctor went back to fiddling with the console, grinning. After a moment he chuckled as a revelation came to him. He spun around in shock. "Oh my- that's it! How could I never have realized it? It all makes sense now. The spoilers aren't about the hair, the hair is about the spoilers! I've always known River has too many secrets. That's why her hair's so big! It's full of spoilers!"