Freddie's Escape

A/N: So much so that everything is exactly how my ex and her mom were. I need to put closure on this story, that is why the second part of this will be his exit. Bear with me…..please and thank you.

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly

A/N: Yes there is a year and a half gap, don't ask me to write what happened in between. I will not be able to do that for you-and believe me-I have tried.

-EMPTINESS AND NUMBNESS-

October of 2010, Freddie sat on the edge of his and Sam's bed, rubbing his hands through his thin hair. Mrs. Puckett's bed was on the other side of the tiny bedroom, with only a small walk space between the stacked mattresses. They were living now in a smoke filled trailer that was small and shaped like a rectangle. That being said, he could only listen as Sam viciously fought with her mother.

He wanted to try and go in to break it up, but every time he wanted to do so, fear would pull him back. Memories clouded his head, tainting him, choking him. It would not be the first time her mother came at him with whatever item she could get her hands on to use as a weapon, and it probably would not be the last.

"I didn't do anything!" Freddie's eyes clenched tight as he recalled one of the last times he tried to get in between mother and daughter to try and settle an aggressive fight. Pamela came after him and he put up his hands in defense, not touching her at all, but she ended up calling some of her 'friends' to come over and told them that he struck her.

"He's a lying sack of shit," Pam lied. Kay looked to her boyfriend, Derek, who cracked his neck. "He put his hands on me!" Freddie's eyes widened and he started to shake his head, but before he could do anything, Derek threw a powerful punch into his chest, knocking him to the floor. Winded, he scrambled to his feet and ran past the bathroom where Sam was taking a shower, then ran to his truck outside the house.

Kay and Derek followed in their van. His heart began to pound as he struggled to breathe through his pained tears. His hand trembled as he dialed 9-1-1 on the phone and turned without thinking onto a one way street in hopes to lose the couple. When he returned, they were gone and he was still struggling to breathe. Sam was on the front lawn wrapped in a towel and talking to police officers with her mom.

Now the fight was over living expenses. "We can't all live in this tiny trailer home," Sam explained.

"You're just trying to leave me. That's all you and that white boy in the other room want to do."

"That's not true, momma!" Freddie rolled his eyes and fell back onto the bed, moaning under his breath. Why had he stayed with them? Part of it was fear, the other was guilt. Aside from being told by Pam that she could go downtown and hire a hitman at any time, he was also told if he ever left Sam because of her then he was a fucking coward.

The room began to shake as heavy footsteps made their way to the bedroom. He sat up quickly, hoping to prepare himself for more abuse. "I hope you're fucking happy!" Pam screamed, "You stole my daughter!" This was nothing new, but her words still cut like a jagged knife. He tried so many times to get on her good side, but failed each time.

He'd tried to break up with Sam in the past, multiple times even. He even told his family, his friends, that he would be leaving her. Then Sam would begin sobbing, as she was crying now behind her mother, and swearing that he wasn't going to do this to her.

"Give me my car keys," Freddie told Sam while standing on the other end of the Arby's counter where she was working. This was the only way he could leave her, he was sure of it. She worked here, she couldn't lose her job. This was where he thought she would be able to maturely handle a break up as she hadn't before. A part of him felt like he wasn't listening to intuition that stated clearly she would still act as childish as she had before.

Sam's face twisted into sheer horror as she began to realize what this meant. Instead of being graceful, she became distraught, screaming at the top of her lungs. "No you're not leaving me! I won't let you!" Tears flew from her eyes as she rounded the corner and charged out of the doors.

"Sam!" He raced after her, looking back with guilt and upset as her boss shook her head. She ran to the bank across the lot and fell into the grass, immediately trying to cut her wrists with his car keys. Stricken with horror, he wrapped his arms around her, struggling to pull the keys away. "Come on!"

"You're not doing this to me. You're not doing this to me. You're not doing this to me. You don't love me! You never loved me!"

"That's not true!" His heart tore as anger and frustration rose up. He loved her for a year, all he did was for her. But he had to protect himself. He couldn't stay in a destructive relationship that was going to destroy him!

"If you loved me, you wouldn't fucking leave me!" She pushed him back and started to walk off. He went after her, fumbling over his words. He wanted her to know that he did love her, but he couldn't be the man she needed because he couldn't take anymore abuse from either her or her mother. This wasn't right!

"Sam, just let me talk you through this." As if talking ever worked before. He hated trying to talk to her or to Pam. His phone began to go off, much to his irritation, so he quickly pulled it from his pocket. It was his grandmother calling, trying to figure out what he was going to do. Before he could answer, Sam screamed and tore his phone from his hand, throwing it into a marsh-like area. "Sam! My phone, damn it!"

She hesitated then looked over, gasping as she realized what occurred. "Oh your phone. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She ran to try to grab it, but it was too late. The device wasn't going to be salvaged.

"No come on, it's useless…I'll need to get a new one anyway."

"No. No. I don't want you to leave me. If I can get your phone back you'll stay, you won't leave me?"

"Just come on…I-I won't leave." She looked up at him, smiling through her tears, then walked over to hug him. His heart started to break as tears welled up into his eyes. How much longer could he do this?

It wasn't much longer after that he did buy a new phone. Pam had a mental breakdown at some point of time and was put into the mental ward while on that same night, Sam got into a fight with the roommate they had prior to moving back into her mother's trailer home, so she got arrested. Freddie wound up picking both of them up the next morning rather than to leave at everyone's whim.

"Now's your chance, damn it!" Grandma Rose begged. "She's in prison overnight, her mother's in the mental hospital. Get in your car and drive."

"Here's the thing," Gibby instructed, "You get in the truck. You turn it on. You stick the prick shift in drive, and you get the fuck out of there!"

"You think you're the only one being affected by this?" Aunt Dee asked. "We're all hurting too, seeing you hurt. Just get out of there."

"It wouldn't be right for me to leave them when they have no way to get home."

Since when would that matter? Freddie looked up to Sam, and flashed a small smile as her mother stormed out of the room. "Take her to work," Pam muttered, "Then I have to go to the doctor's, so you're driving…"

His heart stopped and the entire world grew dark. He didn't want to be alone with this woman. Hell, he never wanted to be alone with her, he was terrified of what she would do to him! His chest ached and his body began to burn as he slowly rose up to his feet. "I'm going to die if I stay here…I just know it…"

"Give me a few minutes Freddie." Sam kissed his cheek and walked to the closet, undressing herself. "I need to get changed." He spent the last week trying to avoid being alone with Pam, whether it meant running to the nearest McDonalds to get on wifi. Each time, however, the woman would throw a shit fit and begin to chastise him for leaving her alone and deserting her.

"All right, I'll wait…" Why they ever moved to Florida, he didn't know. He hated it here. The smell, the heat, the pain and trauma of everyday life. This wasn't living. This wasn't what he fucking wanted!

His whole reason for moving away with Sam and her mother was to get away from his grandfather! His grandfather had been abusive for most of his life, a pure torture. His dad was a negligent asshole who never thought to call him and couldn't even remember a single fucking birthday, and his mother had passed away years ago. He was alone! All he had now was Sam and her mother, and they hated his family.

Sometimes Pam would start talking about having 'dreams' about his grandfather shooting her, or whatever other nightmares she might have. Slowly she pushed his family away. There was a time when his father's wife called and Pam took the phone and tried to sell the "I'm an abused victim", telling the woman how both Freddie and Sam were always being mean to her and picking on her.

"Right. Because she never came after me with a fucking knife…"

He made his way to the laptop, trying to push down the feeling of Pam's glare on him. The woman was sitting on the couch, holding a cigarette to her lips. She had her fingers curled between her knees, was hunched over, and was puffing her lips out with narrow and angry eyes.

He loaded up his facebook, and one of the first things he saw floored him. His cousin Johnny had uploaded a profile picture. It wasn't something that would normally seem impacting, but for Freddie, this picture came with an overwhelming amount of emotion and grief.

Johnny was the one cousin who would never upload anything to facebook, much less a photo of himself. He was paranoid about privacy. His body felt weak and his tears began to dry as tremendous sorrow destroyed him. It was the realization that was getting to him, the realization that he now didn't know what was happening with his cousins.

It used to be he knew everything about them, he was always so invested in their lives, but now he didn't have a clue. Cousin Deborah was posting something about a dance recital while Sarah was uploading something in regards to college. Separation anxiety, and the desire to see his family pulled at him.

If not for Pam, he would fall to his knees and weep on the spot. "I can't do this. I can't…I can't live this way-I have to get out. I have to find a way." There was no possible hope for him. They'd all given up hope on him by now, leaving him for dead. What more was there? What chance in hell did he have but to let himself rot and die at the hands of these insane women.

No. He couldn't take it. He wasn't going to put himself through this bullshit any longer!

"I'm getting out of here," he whispered.

After dropping Sam off at Arby's, he stopped by the Panera Bread and called his grandmother to let her know his plans. He would harden himself, however, and he would not tell Sam or Pam this time around. "I'm not giving them a chance to guilt me into staying this time."

"Listen Freddie, we get ready every time you say you are, but this time…The stress is getting to us."

"I'm under a lot too!"

"Well…look, if you do get out of there, call us. Grandpa will drive out to the airport. If you change your mind this time, I don't know what to say."

"I can't help that!"

"Let us know." Freddie whimpered as she hung up. He really had lost everyone close to him. He began to feel a spike of anger, blaming the two women for what was going on in his life. It wasn't fair! Even Sam's sister got away from the controlling thumb of her mother, though that wasn't to say Pam didn't try and guilt her other daughter by constantly sending her emails inquiring why the girl didn't love her anymore.

As for Sam, Freddie always doubted whether or not she really genuinely cared about him. All she cared about was making her mother happy, pleasing her mom and no matter how often they talked about moving into their own place together, Sam would always cry and throw a fit over how she just wasn't ready to leave her mom.

They were attached via an invisible umbilical cord, it seemed!

Then, if he left her, he didn't think he'd ever find someone else. He'd be alone, but was it worth it? Was being alone worth getting the hell away from all the abuse?

He had to try.

That night, he'd managed to harden himself to them. They argued with each other, even yelled at him, but this time was different. He let their abuse roll off him, as if it didn't affect him. He didn't know why, and it scared the shit out of him. It was fine, because tomorrow he would be gone. All he had to do was wait for them to sleep.

When they did finally get to sleep, Freddie kept one eye open. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Pam sitting up in her own bed, puffing on a cigarette and staring at the two like some sort of vicious snake. Occasionally he would check his phone, anticipating when Pam would lay back down and fall asleep.

His life was on the line, everything was riding on this. If he fell asleep, he knew he was fucked. If he fell asleep, his grandparents and the rest of his family would permanently give up on him, it was his literal last chance. His heart began to pound as Sam rolled over and pulled his arm over her. Exhaustion was his worst enemy, and it was beginning to defeat him the longer Pam remained upright.

"Freddie stay awake. It has to be now. It has to be tonight otherwise I'll never get another chance! I have to get away…" He closed his eyes, trembling as the tears dripped along his cheeks. He fought away second thoughts and doubts, he fought away every single question of love that might keep him staying with Sam. For once, he had to think about his own health and safety.

When he opened his eyes again, he noticed it was considerably darker. His heart screamed in his chest as he grabbed his cell phone and peered down, it was now two in the morning. With a whimper he looked over, praying Pam was asleep and he could sneak out. Everything he owned was in a pair of garbage bags beneath the trailer house, he could just crawl out and toss them in the back of the truck.

Seeing the empty bed, his heart screeched to a halt. Slowly he lifted himself up and moved to the edge of the bedroom door, peering out and frowning at the television screen in the living room. Pam was sitting on the couch, facing the TV and front door. The two dogs, Reese and AJ were curled up at the foot of the couch. A lump formed in his throat as Freddie crept back to the bed, trembling anxiously and nervously.

Over the next several minutes, he kept checking and fighting the exhaustion threatening to pull him away, but Pam never went to sleep! His eyes began to grow heavy as he cursed himself, dooming himself to a life of misery.

Then an astonishing thing occurred. Reese and AJ had taken to barking up a storm. He rolled over, his eyelids rolling up as he grabbed his phone and checked the time. It was 5:00 in the morning! "Those dogs," he muttered. His eyes shot open and he sat up with a start. "Those awesome, adorable, lovable, fucking ass dogs need to go to the bathroom at this hour?!" His heart began to speed up as Reese and AJ continued to bark at the front door.

"Freddie," Sam mumbled in her sleep. "Let the puppies out…" Could she hand him a better invitation?

"Okay." He tore off the covers and pulled on his clothes just as the black collie and white terrier came running into the bedroom, circling him. "Shh, relax, I'll take you out. Don't worry." He grabbed their leashes and the dogs began whining and jumping up on his legs. He could see the joy in their eyes and was almost as excited as they were. It was as though they were telling him, this was his chance.

He led them to the front door and glanced to the couch, Pam was asleep on the couch and snoring so loudly it sounded like someone was turning on a chainsaw. "Sleep tight, bitch," he whispered while opening the door. He loved these dogs now more than he'd ever loved them before, and so he would definitely do them a favor.

As he walked out with them, he stopped off on a patch of grass to let them do their business. Once they were done, and calm, he led them to where he'd stashed his bags beneath the house. Carefully he grabbed the bags and made his way to the truck where he threw them into the back.

Certain he had everything he needed, he let the dogs back into the house and closed the door while remaining on the outside. With heaviness and sorrow, he mustered the strength to get into his truck. His breath grew heavy as he turned on the car and slowly backed out, leaving the lights off so as not to risk waking Pam.

He drove slowly from the trailer, listening to the heavy beating of his heart as he gazed over his shoulder and looked back just to make sure they hadn't come out. Once in the clearing and at a gas station, he called up his grandmother, with his voice breaking as his fresh tears burned his cheeks. "Yes?" Rosa asked with a groggy tone. "What is it?"

"Grandma. I'm out…I'm out of that house…tell Grandpa I need him to get to the airport." He wouldn't be able to make this drive alone. No, he'd just left the one person he thought he'd loved. He was terrified, and soon it was going to hit him that he was leaving her for good, he knew that. While it was better for him, emotionally he wasn't going to be okay. This was the reason his grandfather was flying over, so they could drive his truck back home.

While driving to the airport, he focused on the music playing on the radio. The moonlit sky shone over the lake, creating a somewhat serene look as the songs helped him to keep his strength and spirit up. He knew it would take some time to heal, and it would, but he just had to keep focused on what lay ahead in the future.

At least he knew he would have his family, one way or the other, and he would be safe. He could be happy. Maybe now, he could try and figure out how to get his life back on track. Women scared him though, and he hated the gender-specific attitude people had towards abuse. Maybe one day people would see it wasn't just females that were abused, it was the men too.

All this didn't matter now. All that mattered was he was finally getting away from a potentially fatal experience in his life. One thing is certain about this entire experience, looking back on this night, one cannot help but to bless those goddamn lovable dogs and their poorly timed life saving bladders…

Well...that's it. It feels good to have it out there. But yes, god bless those adorable pups XD. God I love dogs, always have and always will.