A/N: Sorry that this is a little late, I did not realize I worked till close today. My notes on what I am going to do with this story will be at the bottom, I don't want to ruin the reading experience.

Warnings: suicidal thoughts, drug induced feelings and talk there-of, general (Klaine is not together?! Why?!) angst

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters depicted, this is a work of fan fiction.

Enjoy!... Or try not to want to kill me?

Today was not a good day.

He had taken two showers (one this morning and then one actually at school) and ran cold water over his head three times (just since he got home) just to try to cool himself off, but none of that seemed to break the fever. So he had to resolve himself with sitting in front of a fan with no shirt and his sweatpants rolled up to his knees... Damn fevers.

While he felt better now, it did not change the itching of frustration that tingled just beneath his skin from earlier. His nerves did not feel like they were on fire, just buzzing with the need to move; but he resisted. There was no way that he was allowing himself to move with the way that his body was acting like a lit flame in the wind, remove the wind and the flame would only rise higher. He had already been one bathroom trip short of shaving his head because the heat had become practically unbearable; he was not going to move.

Not when Cooper came to check on him, after he got back from school, and ran out yelling about modesty.

Not when his parents individually check on him after they were back from work.

Not even when Kurt tentatively opened his bedroom door as it neared closer to dinner.

"Wow," the taller teen said as he raised a brow at Blaine. "That's not exactly something I was expecting to see."

"Eh," Blaine just shrugged, teasing Kurt, "You like it." He got a laugh from the other teen that he could not help but smile at. "It's okay," he continued, "I'm just a little over heated right now."

Watching Kurt removing his boots and make himself comfortable against the headboard was a little surreal for Blaine, but when Kurt faced where he was seated at the other end of the bed—he knew that it could not be anything but real (and a little arousing but he was going to ignore that part for now). He was all too aware that his stance gave away how miserable he was feeling; legs spread and his torso angled back, supported by his arms stretched out behind him. Blaine's skin had a sheen to it, despite the fan, and Blaine was sure that that alone gave no doubt to Kurt that he was indeed feverish; and that he was worried.

"Are you alright? You're not sick are you?"

Curly hair flopped around as Blaine shook his head, "I'm fine, it's just the medicine."

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked.

"It's a side effect," Blaine sighed shifting his body so the cool air was hitting a new spot on his heated body. "I'm dealing though. Trust me, it could be worse."

Kurt sat up straighter in surprise, "You mean it's been worse? This—" he gestured with his hand at the fan, "—seems pretty extreme."

"Just last week I covered myself in ice packs, just to cool down." He winced at the memory, then shrugged because it still was not as bad as the throwing-up fit he had earlier last week. Nothing that he was dealing with was getting worse, not better either, just easier to manage because he was learning how; with him attending school again, it was maybe even a little easier.

The rooms were normally kept cold anyways and with summer looming over Lima with promise; Friggin's was just a little more lenient on the air-conditioner. Normally the cold temperatures would put anyone in a dormant state, not at all shy of putting them to sleep, even more so now that Blaine was taking the medicine he was; but his fevers made him uncomfortable enough to stay awake, and the cold counteracted the heat—leaving him in a state of almost... normal. But with just enough discomfort to cause him to shower and wet his head throughout the day.

"Blaine..." Kurt whispered, leaning towards him.

"Don't worry, Kurt," Blaine said with a smile, "It's not as bad you think it is. In fact," he sat up straighter and turned towards Kurt, sitting cross-legged and with most of his back being cooled by the fan, "it's more manageable now. So enough with the worrying—" Please don't stop. Don't stop acting... being the you I know. "—I've got in under control."

"Blaine..." Kurt started before trailing off again, biting his lower lip but never looking away from Blaine's eyes. The greyed-blue gaze would have unnerved anyone, but all Blaine could feel was relief. Kurt cared, even after all that had happened... even just a little. It was enough for the shorter teen to know that the Kurt he knew, before Blaine had forced this change, was still there, somewhere. "What are you trying to hide?"

Blaine leaned back suddenly in shock, "What?"

"You just—" Kurt stopped but shook his head, "I feel like that you are forcing something... There's no way that I caused you to improve so fast. You were… you were—"

"Kurt," Blaine interrupted, taking a hold of Kurt's hands, stretching his body across the bed so that he could hold them gently. "It's been two week since we last saw each other..." he trailed off but smiled up at Kurt. "Yes, even I know there's a difference. But after the months that neither of us talked; the ignoring and hiding and shielding... All it took was a few moments of getting feelings out, and it put us here. Imagine what more time will do? We both have our own things to recover from, and I'm not the only one that has changed in this short amount of time." Blaine pulled himself closer to Kurt, causing the taller teen to laugh at him wiggling up the bed so that their hands did not separate. "Think about it, if it was a month ago and I ask you to come to my house... do you think that we would be like this? You sitting on my bed, not freaking out I'm not wearing a shirt or worrying if I'm sick?" He looked down at their joined hands and smiled at the way Kurt thumb was stroking his knuckles and whispered, "Letting me hold your hands?"

Kurt did not say anything for a few minutes, but Blaine knew it was not because he did not have anything to say, he just needed time to think about all that was said. "I suppose not," Kurt finally said, "I just didn't want to think that somehow this was all too good to be true. I mean, even with my last visit you seemed better, and not just because you weren't high as a kite... You weren't indifferent to me."

Blaine winced at that. He had treated Kurt like he was a stranger when he first visited, but essentially... he was. Or at least had been.

"No, no," Kurt took Blaine by the chin and made him look, "I don't really blame you for that. It just hurt is all. But now, we're trying to make it better. All of it." He bit his lip again and dropped his hand down to take Blaine's hand into his, "Since you let out so much before, I think it's only fair that it's my turn." The taller teen waited until Blaine nodded his head before he continued, drawing in a deep breath as if drawing in courage to say something.

Blaine knew then that it was important; he just did not think that it would be this painful.

"I ignored you on purpose."

His hands tightened their hold on Kurt's, more to anchor himself than to support Kurt in continuing, but both sentiments were there—because there had to be more to it than just that.

"It's selfish, but I've always been overshadowed by Rachel and Finn, never really getting a moment to shine. I always felt like I just was not good enough for it." He shook his head when Blaine tried to interrupt, "Don't get me wrong. I always wanted it, but no one really gave me the encouragement or the time to actually think I deserved it. I was always in the background, either being shoved or placed there. So I always felt like I needed to be outlandish and loud to be seen."

Kurt smiled suddenly, the biggest that Blaine had seen on his face in a long time. Their eyes met and blue-eyed teen sighed, "But lo and behold the day that I try to actually blend in and not be noticed—this guy, who just happens to be the lead singer of the Warblers, takes my hand and picks me out of a crowd to sing to. Figures me out and is sweet to me, when anyone else would have beaten me up." He laughed as Blaine held his hands tighter, giving him support but what to know what caused it all. "Suddenly I was being seen, you were there looking at me and it made people look too. I was the center of someone else's world a few short months later, and it felt so good. To not have to worry about Karofsky, to actually be noticed, to be a part of something that I thought I would never have until I left Lima, Ohio.

"So I was selfish again and convinced you to transfer," Kurt looked down at their hands, brow creasing in the way that Blaine knew he was just short of tears. "But then, once again, I found myself in the background; happy that my boyfriend was with me, but overshadowed by him as well. I think that's when I really first started to pull away. It wasn't even until later, after weeks of me slowly pulling away that I even noticed that you were doing the same thing; and as convoluted as it was, I was the only one that could pull away... because I felt I was the only one with a reason to. I wanted to be able to have you and my space at the same time, but you weren't there... then I ran into Chandler."

Blaine felt the sudden need to pull away, to take his hands from Kurt's and jump out the window. He knew that everything about their relationship was going to be laid out bare, he knew that he might not be ready to hear it all... but he held on, because Kurt had to sit through what he had to say, so Blaine was not about to turn his back on Kurt.

Kurt shook his head though, "We've already talked about that though... Look, when I went to New York, it was all a little much. I'm suddenly out of Lima, in this huge city that I am able to be myself in, that I can finally be seen in. I got caught up." He pulled one hand away to start wiping at his reddened eyes, trying to rid the tears spilling from them, "I began to work at Vogue and be a part of my dream and not just playing pretend in my head. But you were trying to be there for me and I only thought of you as my past."

This time, Blaine did pull his hands away, too shocked for words as he continued to stare at Kurt in growing surprise.

"You were still here, in a place that I had no intention of ever wanting to be a part of my future; and I couldn't help but think that you wouldn't be a part of my future too, if you weren't already with me. I still loved you, but New York was my spot-light... My time to shine. Where I had a life that wasn't dictated by Rachel Berry, or Finn Hudson, or school bullies and homophobic neighbors, or teachers that thought your voice was too girly for a lead, or where prejudices laid supreme... or you. I couldn't help but feel bitter towards you, even when afterwards I knew it was just misdirected. I just... I just..."

"I always thought it was Chandler," he whispered quietly, Kurt's gaze snapping up to meet his own. "I thought you ran into him in New York and with me officially not there, you two were talking. Or... I don't know what." Blaine rubbed his face before shoving his hands through his loose curls, "But this... is so much more. I knew there was no way that me playing Tony could be brushed off that easily by you... But then, it was more than just that, wasn't it? The solo verses at nationals? The numbers you weren't lead in and I was?" When Kurt only stayed silent Blaine shook his head in disbelief, "Oh my god... I am so sorry I did that to you, Kurt."

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hands the very next second, eyes blazing despite his tears, "No! Don't say that! It was never really you that was the problem! Please don't think it was! I just felt that way. But us talking, laying it all out—this is just another thing that we'll get past, that we'll solve. My insecurities are—"

"Look where my insecurities got me, Kurt," Blaine shrugged, as if to gesture to himself and his situation.

"That's why we're talking," the grey faded to blue in Kurt's eyes, the need for Blaine to get it growing, "it isn't just about us talking about you, for me to help you... we're helping each other." Kurt paused though, growing unsure of himself at Blaine's almost blank gaze, "Aren't we?"

"Are we?" Blaine shot back.

Kurt looked down, seeing how Blaine was holding onto him just as fiercely as he was, "I think so."

"Then we are," was all Blaine said.

It was all he needed to say to bring a smile back to Kurt's face.

A/N: Okay, that's it for this week, again I'm sorry for the lateness. I hope you enjoyed the further resolve.

Important note ahead!

I said last chapter that I was going to have problem writing because of Cory's death, I've decided that I am going to deviate from whatever Glee has for Season 5... at least for the most part. It would be too much for Kurt to deal with in my story for Finn to die as well as dealing with Blaine having tried to kill himself. That being said, I need to rethink a few things with the story line and will be taking next week off so I can officially decide where I'm going with this because I've just been writing as it can to me with just a vague idea. As a pre-warning though, it's going to get intense soon. But I am still firm in not making this a character death fic, so just bare with me.

Anyways, that's it for now. If I do post next week, it will a surprise to me too.

Until next time,

Anjel Starlight

P.S. Did everyone see that there was actually two chapters posted last week?