So, y'all remember how last Valentine's Day, I wrote a mortal AU chapter thing?

It's becoming tradition. So here we have more awkward mortal Carter and snarky teenage Zia. And it shall be fun.

O-o-O

Zia had never really understood the point of Valentine's Day. After all, if people really wanted to celebrate the story Saint Valentine, they would decapitate all Christians and ban marriage. But no, instead it was heart-shaped candies and confessions of true love.

More than a little confusing.

Not as confusing as the succession of seventeenth century English monarchs, however, which she was attempting to regurgitate onto the quiz in front of her. All the Charleses and Jameses got mixed up, never mind the not-king Oliver Cromwell and the random Mary thrown in.

She finished and flipped the paper over, and glanced around the room. Most of her classmates were still working. Carter was done, a book already open on his desk, although she couldn't tell what it was from two rows over. Probably his assignment for Novels class; at least his group picked decent books. Zia couldn't stand reading Pride and Prejudice.

That thought brought her back to over-dramatized romance just as there was a knock on the classroom door, and three girls wearing red t-shirts walked in.

Zia knew one of them—Jaz was a senior, and spent probably ninety percent of her free time in the chorus room. She grinned out at the class. Everyone shifted uncomfortably, and she said, "Carter Kane?"

"No," he groaned, and buried his face in his hands.

"We've got something for you," Jaz said.

"No you don't." He pulled his hood over his head. "Go away."

All three girls started laughing as they surrounded his desk. One of them raised a pitch pipe to her lips and blew, and they all hummed the note for a second, and then in a three-part harmony they began to sing:

"Baby face!" They bellowed as one of the girls yanked Carter's hood off. "You've got the cutest little baby face, there's not another one can take your place, baby face—" two girls forced Carter's hands away from his face "—my poor heart is jumpin', you sure have started something!"

Jaz pinched his cheek. "Baby face, I'm up in heaven when I'm in your fond embrace, I didn't need a shove 'cause I just fell in love with your pretty baby face!"

The girls wasted no time in rushing out the door to find their next victim, but over the obligatory applause Jaz yelled, "Your sister said to make sure it was extra embarrassing!"

"Mission accomplished," he moaned. Zia snickered.

It took several minutes, but the teacher finally managed to get the students settled enough to assign them "critical thinking" questions—the kind Zia hated, because they never really had an answer. As soon as he released them to partner up, if they chose to, the classroom exploded into conversation again.

Zia looked up from flipping to a clean page in her notebook when she heard the sound of a desk being pulled up next to her. Carter flopped into the seat. "Please shoot me in the head," he pleaded.

She hadn't meant to say it, had no idea why the thought popped into her head, even. But her first reaction was to grin and say, "We wouldn't want to ruin that pretty baby face of yours, would we?"

She felt her neck get hot even as his ears turned a deeper shade of red, and they both pointedly directed their gazes to the textbook.

"So, uh," he said, glancing at the projector screen, "did you think Charles I still held power up to his execution?"

She rolled her eyes. "Sure. 'Hey, Mr. Executioner, I know you're about to chop my head off because I tyrannized the people of England, but could you just wait until I say go? Thanks.' The fact that the executioner listened means either he was an idiot or Charles still had some influence."

He laughed. "You can write that one down. I don't think I can accurately portray the sarcasm."

"It's just as well," she told him. "Your handwriting's a mess."

He snorted as he passed the notebook to her, but she ended up reaching for it at the same time and they both missed and grabbed each others' hands instead.

He released her fingers and flinched away like she was on fire.

She sighed. "How about you dictate and I write."

"Sounds good." His voice was weak.

She grabbed a pencil from where it had fallen on the floor, and started scribbling answers on the paper.

But she couldn't help noticing that his hands were really soft.

O-o-O

AWKWARD ENDING YAY

Anywho that was fun.

I did not spend my Valentine's Day alone this year! I be spent it…with two girls…delivering singing valentines. Featuring selections such as "Baby Face" (see above), "You Are My Sunshine," "Gimme A Little Kiss," and "We Go Together." It was a ton of fun, though. Have a very happy Singles Awareness Day, everybody!