Chapter 14: Morgana

For a moment, there was no other sound but the rustling of leaves and the cracking of the fire.

"Morgana," Arthur whispered.

Gwaine was absent-mindedly twiddling with a small branch. Merlin could remember that the knight had called Morgana "beautiful" three years ago, while seeing her for the first time. From what the young sorcerer knew, it was likely that he would find her more than beautiful now. She had definitely improved. Perhaps Sir Gwaine would even be attracted to her…

Merlin quickly pushed the thought at the back of his mind. He couldn't dwell on such an idea at the present time. There were more important things at stake.

"Didn't she try to kill you and King Arthur?" asked Galahad, a disapproving look on his scarred face.

The sorcerer could only stare at the fire. "Yes," he whispered. Seeing the three questioning faces around him, he added: "It's not like that anymore."

Gwaine broke the small branch he was holding with a loud crack. "You trust her, and yet you know what she is."

There was no mistaking the bitterness in Gwaine's tone.

Merlin allowed himself a few moments before replying. He rubbed the side of his forehead, thinking. Anything concerning Morgana was confusing. He knew that he shouldn't trust her, but at the same time he could not just abandon her. She was a creature of magic and like him she was alone. Kilgharrah had called her "the darkness to his light". But there was also good in her. They were more alike than everyone seemed to think.

"What is she, exactly?" Galahad asked, a little at a loss.

"An evil witch," spat Gwaine.

"… Who also happens to be my sister," Arthur corrected with a scolding look at Gwaine. "Step-sister, to be exact."

Galahad was shaking his head in dismay. "You shouldn't take dark magic so lightly, Merlin," he said softly. "Remember what the curse of Aria's Cradle did to you. It was killing you slowly, like a poison."

Merlin could only stare at him. "But this is not a curse. It's a person. It's…Morgana."

Gwaine snorted derisively. "You're completely blinded by her!"

Merlin sprang to his feet and began pacing nervously around the fire. He knew that all eyes were on him and he could no longer bear the stares.

"What aren't you telling us?" murmured Galahad.

The young king was more poised and he waved at Galahad to be patient. Of course, Gwaine completely ignored the gesture.

"I can see what's happening, Merlin. It's written all over your face. It's only normal. You're a young man. She's a beautiful woman. But you're smarter than that. Have you considered that she may be using you to get to Arthur?"

Merlin paused, stung by Gwaine's comment. He had never seen the knight so stern. Yet Gwaine's opinion was certain to change once he knew the whole story.

"Have you considered how much Lord Merlin has sacrificed for Arthur? For Camelot?" Galahad snapped unexpectedly.

Gwaine looked thunderstruck. "Well, no… I'm just saying…. Sometimes the power of a beautiful woman can be stronger than magic."

The knight from Aria's Cradle grinned at that comment, and then he turned his attention to Arthur.

"What about you, my Lord? Ever been tempted by beauty?"

Arthur's face took a slightly pink shade. "Only the beauty of my future wife," he whispered. Then, more seriously, he added: "There were rumours when I was young about an arrange marriage between Morgana and me. Now I know why my father never acknowledged those rumours. She was different then: playful, challenging in her dealings with my father, daring, dangerous with a sword, witty, outrageously beautiful."

His eyes seemed far away for a while, and then he smiled broadly. "No man could resist Lady Morgana, back in those days. And if I do recall correctly, I did once catch my own manservant bringing her flowers on one sunny afternoon…"

"She'd been sick! Like you did any better with a dagger, honestly," Merlin scoffed.

He couldn't help but smile for they both shared, it seemed, the same memory of how it used to be with Morgana around. It was this picture that popped in the mind of the king and the servant whenever the name of Morgana was whispered; not the evil and vengeful witch, but the sassy and smart woman. Someone they both cared for.

The young dragonlord went to sit beside his friend.

"She doesn't remember you," he said in a soft voice. He held Arthur's stare, ignoring the others. "Morgause was controlling her, using her anger and rage as fuel. Morgause's hold on Morgana was very strong. I had to break that connection somehow. So I blocked Morgana's powers. I don't really know how I did it, but when she woke up, after Kilgharrah carried her away to that monastery, she didn't remember who she was. She didn't remember anything; not Uther, not Morgause, not even you. She begged me to tell her everything, but I couldn't."

He paused, recalling the painful moment.

"You're afraid that the spell will cease to work if she starts remembering," said Galahad.

The young sorcerer nodded, but kept his eyes on Arthur. "I visited her as often as I could. Each time, I told her stories about King Arthur and his brave knights. She knows that she used to live in Camelot. The name is familiar to her somehow. She knows she has friends there, but enemies too. And she knows that she used to have magic."

Arthur looked taken aback. "Does she know about you?"

"Yes," replied the warlock. "It was kind of hard keeping it a secret especially since the first time they saw me I was riding on Kilgharrah. I made quite an impression at that monastery. They call me… something else."

A sort of gloom fell on the group.

"What do they call you?" asked Gwaine.

Merlin shook his head. He was trying not to get sidetracked and some subjects were harder to avoid than others.

"It doesn't matter. The point is that Morgause and Morgana shared a link for a while. Whatever Morgause is planning, Morgana knows about it, even if that memory has been blocked. She might know a way out, or the workings of the magic used, or the way to the world of the dead."

"You're not serious," murmured Gwaine, suddenly looking very grim. "The World of the Dead. That's folly, Merlin."

"If I can't fight Morgause, then I must try to undo what she has done. It may be the only way."

"That's assuming that Morgana will remember anything," said Arthur, sounding a little more hopeful. "Or that she'll want to help us at all. Let's concentrate on that, shall we?"

"I agree with Arthur," said Gwaine. "It's too creepy out here to talk about the World of the Dead." He lied back on a patch of moss and closed his eyes. "Just be careful, Merlin. Women and magic. That's never a good mix."

"You have some experience then?" Galahad asked casually as he was lying down as well.

But the other knight did not answer. He already looked fast asleep.

"Get some sleep, Merlin," Arthur said commandingly. When the young sorcerer threw him a reproving look, he added: "You're going to need it."