Word from the Author:

Major fluff and Merlin/Morgana in this chapter. If you don't fancy that pairing, well you had better wait for the next chapter.

Thanks for reading!

….

Chapter 20: Like a Storm

At the end of the afternoon, Merlin sat alone on the stone wall overlooking a deep valley beyond. He had given up the blue coat and he was wearing just the white shirt and brown trousers, having failed to find his servant's tunic anywhere in the monastery. There was a cool breeze ruffling the long grass all around him. The cold was making it shiver, but it didn't matter; soon, he would be flying away wearing nothing but feathers.

His first attempt at transforming into a bird had been disastrous. He had performed the spell too quickly in his haste to escape the bandits who had captured him. As a man in a small falcon's body, he had been unable to find his bearing enough to fly in a proper manner and he had ended up shot instead. He would have died if not for Morgana's healing.

Now he was quite ready to do the transformation again. This time he would try to let go of his human body completely, keeping his thoughts bent only on flying. It was the same with the aging spell; for the magic to take hold, he had to do more than just look the part. He had to become an eighty years-old man, body and soul.

As for his path, the map had already showed him where he needed to go. As soon as he had placed his hand on it, he had seen a familiar image in his mind. The Black Lake of Aria's Cradle. It was the lake where he had fought a dark Shadow, the embodiment of a dreadful curse. He had fought it and destroyed it with light. Arthur had helped a little.

But the Black Lake wasn't really his final destination. It was merely the doorway to the World of the Dead.

This is the stupidest plan ever, he thought as he held the map on his knees.

In his heart, he wished that he was going with Arthur to face whatever evil Morgause had in store for them. He felt deeply drawn towards this course of action perhaps because he was, amongst other things, a dragonlord. However, King Lot's stories of the time of wizards had awakened something else inside of him: a will to explore his magic to its full extend. He had always been hesitant to use his powers, and with good reasons. Maybe now was the time for him to break free of his self-imposed barriers.

Besides, it was not the first time that he had deliberately chosen to leave Arthur to his own fate. He had left done so the day he had flown to Aria's Cradle. Arthur had survived quite well without him. Why should it be different now? Why was he filled with so much dread?

She'll make the right choice.

He was trying hard not to think of the consequences of Morgana deciding to join forces with Morgause. Before he had left, he had had Arthur swear to let her go if that was her choice. The young king had reluctantly agreed, while insisting on the fact that he would make it Merlin's responsibility to destroy her if she did turn against them.

"She won't," he had told Arthur convincingly.

"I sure hope she doesn't," the king had said. "Or this is going to be the shortest offensive in history."

"If I succeed, you won't have to fight at all," Merlin had replied.

"If you succeed."

"You don't think I will?"

"No, not really," Arthur had said with a grin.

"Then I suppose you should start looking for a new servant."

"That can't be avoided now, can it, wizard? If you return, I shall have to make you advisor to the king, like in the old tradition."

At a loss for words, Merlin had merely nodded, before being swept into a brotherly hug by Gwaine and Galahad. At last, Arthur had hugged him too, and had made him promise to return from the Otherworld alive.

Maybe the King of Camelot wasn't such a prat after all.

Arthur is the Once and Future King, he thought with sudden conviction. He'll be fine. Gwaine and Galahad will die before they let anything happen to him.

He had to let his fear of loosing Arthur go if he was to succeed on his quest. He couldn't loose his focus.

Another idea swept through his mind and he tried hard to shake it away. Morgana. The way he had seen her surrounded by a white light; it had been so beautiful and disturbing, like a vision. Maybe he would just fly in front her window, disguised as a falcon, just to get a glimpse of her.

His thoughts were so bent on Morgana that he almost didn't hear her call out his name. He wheeled around slowly, unsure if he was awake of dreaming.

He stumbled off the stone wall in surprise.

There she was: her black hair blowing around her face like a storm as she ran. Her blue dress was rippling in the wind like a river. Her sparkling eyes were fixed upon him. He was so shocked to see her running through the field to find him that he stood rooted on the spot, unable to move or even to breathe.

She stopped running only when they were standing face to face.

When she spoke, her voice was hoarse and breathless. "Don't go. I choose you. That's my choice. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it. I choose you. I can't… I'm nothing without you."

Merlin thought at that moment that his chest was going to explode. He felt completely overwhelmed and painfully guilty all at once. Taking a step closer, he took her face between his hands and kissed her forehead, taking in her scent, feeling the familiar pulse of her magic tingling against his.

"You're wrong," he murmured. "You don't see yourself the way I do. You're a good person. You'll do great things. You just don't realise it yet."

"I want to do these things with you," she replied pleadingly.

He wanted nothing else then to accept her offer and forget everything else. Yet that was not his quest. Where he was going, he could not take her.

"I'm yours," he said in a strained voice. "But you'll have to wait a little longer."

She looked up at him in dismay. "I don't want to wait," she whispered. "For the last three years, I have wondered why you were pushing me away. I'm here to tell you that you don't need to anymore. I know what I am and what I have done, but now I can choose something different for myself. I don't know the future, but I'm sure it's with you. I've never been so certain of anything else in my life."

He shook his head resolutely. How could he take her with him to the Otherworld? He didn't even know if he would return. He couldn't risk her life as well.

"This is my quest," he said with as much conviction as he could muster. "And if you really want to choose us, you will go with Arthur."

She held his gaze for a moment, taking in his answer. He tried not to blink or show signs of weakness. He was very close to giving her everything she wanted, only because he wanted it too.

At length, she looked away and smiled weakly. "I don't really fancy Arthur, you know. He can be such a… prat."

"I know," he said, smiling as well.

"And I'm not in love with Arthur," she said, stepping closer.

"Me neither," he said teasingly.

Now he could smell her hair and see the tiny tears on her eyelashes. Her lips were almost touching his.

"I'm glad you're not," she whispered.

"I'm glad too."

The kiss that followed was the most passionate he had ever known. It sent little sparks of magic like lightening before a storm. The wind was swirling around them, embracing them. The moment seemed frozen in time. None of them seemed willing to let go.

Yet after only a short while the embrace ended and the moment was gone. In the fading light of the day, a sole figure could be seen standing on the hill near the wall. It was a woman with black hair and pale skin, almost like stone. Above her head, a falcon was flying in circles. With wings stretched wide, the falcon flew higher and higher, until finally its shadow faded in the darkening sky and it was gone.

Now Merlin was truly alone.