Sasuke was looking for some new techniques to use with Naruto when a side panel in the wall opened up without warning. He blinked, then picked out the book that was in there, ignoring the scroll inside.
"...Amazon Tribal Law? What the hell?"
The more he read it, the more confused he became. As far as he was aware, none of the Uchiha clan ever went to China since the village was founded.
So, he took it to Ranma, completely forgetting the scroll in the back of that odd wood paneling. It would be after the second half of the chunin exam that he even remembered the thing existed.
Meeting Naginata on the training poles caused an odd reaction to Sasuke. For those of you confused, most Uchiha are by and large masochists (see My Wish Order Brother, if you don't get this joke) and it is an unspoken rule for female Uchiha heirs to have husbands able to beat them at least once in their early relationships. Since it was only training and Sasuke had been learning from Ranma for only a few months, Naginata forgave him for the rather poor showing on the training poles. Naruto made a far better showing, since Ranma had trained him a bit longer in exchange for making the man laugh his ass off.
As such, Sasuke got his first ever crush on a girl who wasn't after him. Because Ranma confirmed that the book he found was only a few hundred years out of date (a couple of laws had been added, but it was more or less correct) Sasuke knew that the only way to win Nagi-chan's heart was to beat her in an all out fight, preferably without chakra.
On the plus side, he finally awakened his Sharingan under the strain of trying to best the Amazon girl.
Of course that brought on the slight issue of Kakashi when he learned of Tsuki...
Naruto, in a fit of mischief switched all of Sasuke's clothes with girly ones that immediately made people think Tsuki spent too much time around Anko. Not that she didn't anyway but it was the principle of the thing.
Ranma immediately put him under the Cat-Tongue pressure point, saying he had been wanting to do that for a while now and it would be best to get it out-of-the-way before the exam even started. The result?
Sasuke was stuck as Tsuki until she could learn how to get the Sharingan up to two tomoe at least.
The problem? Kakashi apparently had a loli fetish.
'I am not perving on my underage student, I am not perving on my underage student, I am not perving on my underage student, I am not...oh who am I kidding? Where is my camera?' thought Kakashi when he first saw Tsuki. Her eye twitched, apparently knowing exactly what was on Kakashi's mind.
It didn't help that he had his porn out and was giving her speculative glances.
"Let me make this abundantly clear. I am only here because you are the only sharingan user aside from me in the village. The council is a pain in the ass enough to deal with if they found out that you skimped on training because of your loli fetish, however I know something that will make your skin crawl."
"What?" asked Kakashi, completely unconcerned about anything the 'girl' could throw at him.
"I know Might Gai, a certain blond fox who has several 'powders', one of which can turn you into a house cat when wet, and a teacher who would be more than happy to put the same pressure point he placed on me to keep you from turning back. Now, do you really want to deal with them and quite possibly the Fire Daimyo's Wife when we hand your cursed ass to her as a replacement for Tora once we kill her cat?"
Suddenly Kakashi was all business.
"What do you want to learn first?" he said, pale as a ghost. He didn't doubt for a second she would carry out her threat. He hated cats.
"Right, so I have enlisted all of my minions into the Chunin exam," said Ranma.
"Did Iruka blow up when he heard you were letting your daughter into it? And how the hell did you manage that when she isn't even a genin?"
"Not after I told him she's my primary defense against any new fiancees. Watching him wince after getting his ass kicked by a thirteen-year-old Amazon girl was hilarious. Coincidentally I have it on tape. As for how I managed it... The Hokage was a bit too preoccupied with something to notice what he signed."
"And that's why I like you Saotome. By the way, why has Hokage-sama been smiling more often?" asked Anko.
"The same reason he didn't realize he signed a newly registered independent contractor into the Chunin exams. Remember that gardening project of mine?"
"You mean the one where... Ooooh...so that's where he got it. You are getting me some of that the next time I get hauled up in front of the council dammit."
"Sure! By the way, Gai has been banned from ever so much as even looking into my garden after he found out what really happened to his clothes."
"Finally copped onto the fact they're gone huh?"
"Nope. Genjutsu broke."
"Damn...fun while it lasted."
"On the contrary. He said so long as they have the weight seals in them like the spandex, he won't go back."
"Wait, what?"
"He laced the spandex with so many weight seals that they became a weapon," said Ranma. It certainly explained the explosion when they hit it with fire...
"So what's the deal with the new girl?"
"Part of the agreement I had with the old hag was to add to the village gene pool. Tachi is living with my mother and Naginata stayed with the Amazons until she passed the old hag's test. Then she came to find me," said Ranma.
"You named your kids after weapons?"
"It was either I name them or the Amazons did. And they have a habit of naming children after female beauty products," said Ranma flatly.
"Seriously?" snorted Anko.
"My former 'wife' was named Shampoo, their village elder is named Cologne, and I kid you not when I say I have spared with Ganier, Frutuse, Trésume and Herbal," said Ranma.
Anko blinked.
"You're kidding...right?"
"Nope. Asked Nagi-chan yourself if you don't believe me. Hell, Shampoo's current husband is named Mousse."
"...You do realize you're talking to someone named after Red Bean Paste right?"
"And I'm named after a horse," said Ranma amused.
"Built like one too," said Anko grinning. She got a good look when the towel slipped in the hot springs through the same hole Jiraiya used to peep on women.
When asked by an amused Kurenai, Anko told her that she was getting her payback for all the times the men on the other side used it to peep on them.
Ranma had figured out she was on the other side from the voice alone, but by then it was too late to cover up the bits.
Didn't stop Anko from making a rather biased commentary for the girls about the men on the other side. Ibiki was one of the few who didn't try to hide from her, to her clear amusement and the fascination of the women.
Needless to say his fan base grew after they got a good look for themselves.
Anko found the daughter of Saotome waiting for her in her favorite training ground, the Forest of Death.
"What are you intentions for my dad?"
"Damn, he wasn't kidding that you had daddy issues. Let me guess, no matter how I answer I have to fight you?"
"...He may have alluded that you were a decent fighter. Even with the cheats your people use..."
Anko blinked. That kind of recommendation from someone like Saotome meant she was a damn good fighter. Ranma didn't really like chakra, but he didn't discredit it either since it was half physical.
Chakra could only be built and mature properly through experience and use, much like KI in that matter. However there were ways to cheat the system, like Naruto's fuzzy tenant or Anko's cursed mark.
The fact she never once used it while sparring with Ranma, and actively fought the pain that came with it, meant that she had his respect. It was the main reason Ranma got along with her and took her comments on his bits with such ease.
She had something that most people refused to give her unless she forced it. Respect.
"Well then, why don't we fight first and chat about my friendship with Ramna later?"
Naginata grinned. She liked this woman far more than her father's previous fiancees. Those women were annoying and demeaned real fighters everywhere.
There was a reason why the stupid panda feared crossing her.
Anko felt the familiar pain of the stupid curse mark act up halfway into their 'fight' which was more of a spar than anything else. Like always, she ignored it while Naginata's eyes narrowed.
"You have curse on you."
"Yeah, my asshole of a teacher put it on me years ago."
"I take it dad knows?"
"Yup."
"Hmm. You are already three steps ahead his previous fiancees. You don't waste time talking, you fight without thinking about the consequences and you know how to work through pain."
"Not to mention the fact he actually likes me enough to find me whenever he has a cat relapse."
Naginata blinked.
"I approve. You might be good for him, since the dumb panda never bothered you or your school of training."
"Huh?"
"I said I approve of you. Anyone who beats me can have my dad, but you interest me far more."
"You do realize the Uchiha kid has a crush on you, right?"
"He also knows that in order to win my affections he must beat me in combat in either form. So far he has devoted his time training and getting stronger rather than choosing to challenge me directly. Considering the fact that half my suitors didn't think that far ahead, he already has my interest as well."
"What about Uzumaki?"
"Another already vies for his affection. I will not stand in her way."
"Hehehe...I like you kid. You old enough in your village for a drink?"
"Old enough to travel outside without supervision, old enough to drink. Nothing outside of cuddling allowed until you either find a worthy partner or turn 16."
"Off to the bar then!" said Anko with a cheer.
Ranma blinked.
"Say that again?"
"Mitarashi passed my test. She not only matched me without those cheats of theirs, but she kept me on my toes even when her curse started to act up. Not to mention the fact she wasn't picked by that damn panda."
Tachi and Naginata had it in for Saotome Genma. Ever since Ranma raised them on the horror story that was his early childhood courtesy of Genma, they hated the man. It didn't help that the cat phobia was entirely his doing.
So finding a single female that passed Naginata's test (Ranma had her administer it for two reasons: One, he was sick and tired of fighting his way out of them, and Two, it was good training since half of his opponents were much, much weaker than he was) was shocking.
"What's your opinion of her?"
"A bit weak, but that can be blamed on the curse and lack of training outside the chakra these people use. At least you got to those two in time to keep them from focusing on it too much later," said Naginata.
"I'm still trying to work out an arrangement with Rein to purge her mark."
"That reminds me, I got a scroll as well, though it was from a different clan."
"Which one?"
"Wind Riders."
"Lucky! Still, phoenixes aren't nearly that bad. They have a decent sense of humor at least."
"I like dragons."
"You get a spare scroll too?"
"They said that I could allow the Toad Summoner's child sign it and one up Gamabunta so long as no one else did untested. Apparently his father impressed them with some jutsu he made but was never completed and he was a wind element."
"Toad Summoner?"
"Minato Namikaze. His son is said to have inherited his hair color instead of the mother's, even though he took his mother's clan name to hide him from his father's enemies."
"Wait a...I think I know who you're talking about, though we aren't allowed to say anything until he reaches Chunin."
"What of the Cursed boy father?"
"Sasuke? I have a different scroll for him to sign. The only reason he decided against becoming a kin-slayer is because of my reinterpretation of making Itachi pay. No way will the Phoenixes allow him to sign when according to Kakashi he's a lightning element."
"Has he managed to pass your test in order to earn a Phoenix Pill?"
"He has until the second phase before he has to wait a month."
Tsuki was twitching. Damn Kakashi and his loli fetish. It was bad enough the man was lazy as hell, but add to it his obsession with the past and his dead team...
She was past the point of annoyed and onto pissed off. He had a week before the first exam started, and she had yet to hit the second tomoe. Even if she did learn her element before Naruto, she couldn't really do anything with it.
Kakashi refused to teach her ninjutsu, his genjutsu was crappy, and she knew more about taijutsu than he did.
The result? Tsuki didn't bother to show up train with him anymore and instead went to see Kurenai and read from the clan library. She was almost to her second tomoe now, the first being taijutsu. The second one was genjutsu, since her ninjutsu library was rather poor because Ranma preferred to train the body first before moving onto what Naginata called cheating.
The only reason Ranma didn't discourage chakra outright was because it was both a mental and physical balance. Which meant that Shinobi as a rule had to know hand to hand whether they liked it or not.
Hell, out of the entire village Ranma only respected a handful of people.
Naruto (for all the shit he had to put up with before it became known that he had a box full of cursed powders and didn't have any qualms using them on others like Ibiki), Sarutobi Hiruzen (he was still sane after leading a ninja village full of insane people for crying out loud), Might Gai (only person known to match him blow for blow before using gates), Rock Lee (the kid was determined to be a shinobi even without chakra, and took to KI like Naruto to Ramen), Anko (she amused him. Enough said), and Hinata (who put up with her father until she kicked his ass so badly the Hyuga elders still flinched if she so much as looked in their direction in a bad mood).
Sasuke was on his way to earning his respect, and would have it if he decided to humiliate Itachi instead of killing him the next time he saw the weasel.
Ranma learned through Tsuki that the Sharingan couldn't detect Jusenkyo powder mixed in water. He tested that when he poured one into an innocuous water balloon for her to use on Kakashi.
The lazy pervert never did take her threat seriously, and because of the heat wave didn't bother to dodge a water balloon. Though that may have been because she had a bag full of the things and had made doubly sure to hand Kakashi the one that didn't have the laced balloon in it.
The result? There was now a silver-haired cat with one dark eye and one red running around the village. If Sasuke or Naruto ever got their hands on Tora after Ranma filled that mission request for an assassination mission on that damn cat, then Kakashi was screwed sideways.
Tsuki did not like the fact that Kakashi kept hitting her with water jutsu just to see her with a wet shirt. Yet another reason why she quit going to those training sessions.