Ranma's first encounter with the Snake Sannin goes back well before he came to Konoha and met Anko for the first time by accident due to a Neko-ken induced panic.
Orochimaru had been fascinated by his curse form...and to Ranma's intense discomfort, his male form. It didn't take him long to peg the man as gay with a taste for teens. It also didn't help that after the fight with Saffron his body seemed locked at age nineteen, even though now he was well into his thirties.
For some reason several of those who were in that fight had been locked in to their ages at the time, some were lucky to escape Saffron's final revenge like Akane.
Finding out she would age and he wouldn't had been the last straw and she broke the engagement. Soun might have better luck with Kasumi and Tofu's kid inheriting the dojo, since Nabiki didn't care a bit for it, Kasumi had her own family, and Akane seemed determined to die an old shrew.
But back to his meeting with Orochimaru.
He had nothing against the man personally, but something about his attitude rubbed him the wrong way. He reminded him of his father Genma, and not in a good way. This was a man who didn't care about the consequences of his actions or the fact he was setting a child who had no say in the world for a life of hell.
As such he held his opinion of the man until he could properly understand his motives.
When he first met Anko and learned she had been the man's apprentice, he had been appalled when he heard about the experiments.
Ranma was a big fan of kids. He was a lot easier on his students than he was with people over the age of fifteen. He didn't coddle them, but he was supportive and caring. If they were too injured to fight, he didn't push them.
It had come as a rather large shock to the Amazon females (namely Cologne and Shampoo) to learn Ranma was a great dad. It came with having a very good example of what never to do. He would often take Naginata and Tachi fishing or hunting for days, and they would come back with smiles.
And when he first took in Naruto, the boy had been so starved for attention it was painful. So Ranma took him in, taught him one day at a time and trained him the way he had been trained.
But never the Neko-ken. That technique would die with him. He had already tracked down all records of it and destroyed them with permission from the Amazons. The method was appalling and the technique too unstable.
And Naruto thrived on his attention. His grades shot up like a rocket, his hand-to-hand was good enough to keep up with Lee without his weights and the first gate opened. He even dabbled in fuinjutsu, and it turned out he was a natural.
And once Naruto properly sat down and talked to the fox, his intelligence shot up and his control became easier. The fox had mentioned someone coming in and shredding the boy's mind when he was very young, just barely old enough for the Academy in fact, and Ranma took him inside his mind to repair the damage.
And then there was Sasuke/Tsuki. The boy had never really interested him until he learned how badly the boy had been damaged in his mind.
It had taken him a full year of beat downs, explanations and actually listening to the boy's problems to dislodge the stick that had been shoved up his ass.
Surprisingly, the curse actually helped more than hurt the boy. Dealing with being a girl got his ego to drop down to manageable levels and having an adult treat him like a normal kid had healed the damage Fugaku had caused by all that Uchiha honor bull.
Now Sasuke was more at ease with himself and while he had honor, it wasn't the clan's honor, but his. He had pride, but it was pride in himself, something his birth father had never tried to foster in him.
Then there was Hinata.
Hinata had little to no self confidence because of Hiashi taking out his frustrations with the clan on her. (Kurenai had found it hilarious the way his daughter kicked his ass, but had properly explained the real situation to Ranma after the beat down.) Her cousin and younger sister didn't make it any better because they viewed her as weak.
Now she could walk with her head held high and her stutter was gone.
Of course that wasn't nearly as funny as what Ranma did to Neji...
Flashback...
"Hinata-sama and Naruto-san are fated to be losers," said Neji tonelessly.
Ranma's eyebrow twitched.
"What makes you say that?"
"Because they have always been losers. Naruto could barely make a clone in the Academy and Hinata-sama has never even beaten her own sister," replied Neji.
"And what would you do if I said Naruto has the most potential to be an S rank and Hinata could easily be an A rank?" he asked.
"I would say you have been smoking the same herbs that you grow," said Neji.
"And I would say that you have only one chance to avoid being cursed by your own cousin," said Ranma.
Neji winced. He had heard about the cursed powders.
"I heard a rumor that the original powders were only temporary," said Neji.
"These weren't made by the Amazons. They were made by the summon clans. In other words, they have all the powers of the original spring water. Apparently the Amazons were too weak to actually recreate the cursed springs entirely," said Ranma.
(There. I hope you like the reasoning as to why the powders are permanent and not temporary!)
Neji winced again. He didn't want to end up with a curse, whether it was fated or not.
"Tell you what. Hinata will challenge you after a month of training with me and you'll have the option of fighting her or being cursed. Deal?"
"Deal."
Of course Neji was quick to rethink antagonizing Hinata after the ass kicking of Hiashi.
When Ranma mentioned it again, he started to back away from the man, which caused Ranma to laugh. Weakness, Ranma once said to Naruto, only remained that way if you let it.
Flashback End
On the other hand, Ranma had little to no experience in dating like a normal person. He fully blamed this on his upbringing. Aside from Shampoo, he had never actually had any relations with females. At least no intimate ones.
Thankfully the only female he was ever in constant contact with was Anko, and she had skewed ideas about what dates consisted of herself.
As it was, ever since Naginata approved Anko to date her father, she started a bet with the ANBU and Ibiki on who would jump who first.
The odds were pretty damn high on Anko jumping him first.
Only Naginata knew that would change in a heartbeat if her father learned of the bet.
Ranma was bringing Anko another load of dango when they found the bodies. He had also seen the wyvern flying out earlier and assumed Naginata was training Naruto again.
Anko and Ranma ran into the Forest, both running along familiar trees. This was one of their favorite hang outs, and it didn't hurt that this was where he first met her in the throws of a Neko-Ken panic attack.
Anko was the one to find Orochimaru...who was entirely unprepared for the ass kicking that followed. Ranma, when he learned how badly Orochimaru had screwed up his best friend, decided to react the same way he did around his own father Genma.
But Orochimaru wasn't nearly as well trained as Genma was, nor did he have the same taijutsu affinity.
The result? Orochimaru got his ass kicked black and blue because he relied more on jutsu than actual physical training.
Anko, when she recovered from the curse seal, bust a gut laughing her ass off at the pictures Ranma so thoughtfully took of Orochi all swollen up from bruises.
The ANBU in the tower inside the forest still refused to speak of the noises they heard from that room, though quite a few were exchanging ryo later.
(Naginata eventually got her cut, which was roughly the same amount as an High A rank mission pay. In case you were wondering, she had bet on her father jumping Anko. And from the cries they heard in the tower he did.)
"AAAAAAHHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" was the general outcry.
Naginata, Naruto, and Tsuki were all cackling like madmen while Haku was waiting for the effects of the migraine pills to kick in. It was a miracle he didn't have gray hair yet.
Gaara appeared roughly half an hour in, and they learned that the poor kid was like Naruto only with a really crappy seal.
Fortunately they knew a really good seal master who would be willing to help out in exchange for Ranma not busting him in the hot springs...again...for the third time that month.
Though the look the blond girl was giving the trio as they corrupted Gaara was rather amusing.
"Dear kami... what the hell is wrong with those three? And why are they corrupting Gaara?!" she asked in horror.
"I've learned it's easier to just ignore their insanity and hope it all goes away. In the meantime, aspirin?"
"Thank you. Please tell me they normally aren't like this."
"Oh no, this is just what happens when they are allowed to use explosives without regard to the consequences. Normally they are borderline sane. Well, in between hand-to-hand practice anyway. I never knew a human body could bend in those ways..." said Haku.
The blond looked at her other brother who was staring at the three 'girls' with something akin to lust.
Naginata preferred armor over bras, and Tsuki never wore any because it would lead to some very awkward questions if she suddenly turned back into a guy. And Naruto...well, he had pranked enough people that they would know he was a boy anyway even in girl form.
And all three of the 'girls' were very well developed and had difficulty with breast bands. Haku got over this easily because he viewed them more like siblings which killed any libido. Sasuke/Tsuki had a crush on Naginata, but knew better than to approach the girl directly because of how she was raised. And Hinata was very close to claiming Naruto as hers.
It did not help Hiashi that both Hinata and Hanabi had been taking lessons from Naginata about boys, since she was less awkward to talk to than the older women and wouldn't assume anything like the other girls their age. Hanabi was well aware that Konohamaru, or what Ranma called the 'Chibi Patrol', had a thing for her. However Hanabi was of a similar opinion that Naginata was. If he wanted to be her boyfriend, then he would have to work for it.
Temari and Haku sat down to watch the destruction from one of the higher trees while Kankuro kept half an eye on Gaara and the rest of his attention on the three females.
"Shouldn't we get scrolls from the dead?" asked Temari. She lived with Gaara as a younger brother. Dead bodies no longer bothered her.
"Naruko has been spamming clones. Anything of worth is immediately sealed, and she'll hand us a scroll once they get the destructive urge out of their systems. If not, I have a fool proof way to get their attention," said Haku.
One of the few tricks he had learned when living with Ranma was that there was one easy way to get their attention. It had involved some tricky timing and the agreement of the Hokage, but the end result was that he had a summoning jutsu which would get their attention rather quickly.
He looked up, noted that it was getting dark, and sent a clone to ask if they were almost done. He wasn't suicidal.
"Are you four done yet?" asked Hakutwo.
"Aw, but we're teaching Gaara-kun the joys of exploding idiots!" pouted Naruko. Gaara actually looked like he was having fun. It was an odd look for him.
"I know, but I would like to sleep on an actual bed before the sun goes down too far," said the clone.
Tsuki pouted next to Naruko. It wasn't often she was allowed to unleash her inner Pyromaniac.
Haku's clone glared at them.
"Either you lot finish this up or I'll unleash that Which-Shall-Not-Be-Named."
As one, the three of them turned to look at her with an evil gleam in their eyes. Team four had been banned from that particular D rank because of Ranma's issues with cats, and Naginata had been banned (since she was an independent the Hokage let her take missions like any other genin) because of her severe allergies. However they had run into the cat in question a few times escaping from other genin, and they hated it with a passion.
Haku wasn't a cat fan either. However he did put up with the furball long enough to put a summoning seal on a collar he had made just for that purpose. It was sewn in between the two layers, so no one would know it was there until it was activated.
Naginata looked at the sky.
"Fine. We'll blow up one last thing and then we'll head to the tower," she said petulantly.
"Deal."
That was all the clone could say before they turned their explosives on him and Haku nearly fell out of the tree. He glared at his team.
"I hate you all."
Iruka was glaring at them all. So were a good number of ANBU.
The reason was simple really. In an effort to get rid of the competition, Naginata and Naruto had laced the forest with a good number of explosive tags that went off at random intervals. If it wasn't for the fact that he had been summoned through the scrolls, he would be a dead man. They nearly got five ANBU already.
"Naruto, Naginata, Tsuki...when this is over I want you three to go and undo all those exploding tags without setting them all off. Am. I. Clear?" asked Iruka irritably.
"Hai, Iruka-sensei," said Naruto and Tsuki.
(Enter the speech of what the scroll on the wall means...)
Cat walked up to Naginata with a scroll in her hand.
"What's that?"
"Your cut."
"So he jumped her? Finally!" said Naginata.
Yuugao was glad the mask hid her grin. There was a reason why she liked this girl, and it wasn't because she finally contacted her grandmother for a cure to Hayate's sickness. She reminded her of her younger self. Ironically, while Ranma and Naginata despised cats, they got along great with Yuugao even though her ANBU designation was Cat.
When asked by a bewildered Anko why they didn't have panic attacks, Ranma and Naginata had looked at each other and said that the mask, while cat-like in shape, simply didn't induce their reactions to the accursed species. Apparently it was one of the few things that didn't send them into a murderous frenzy.
As it was, Ranma occasionally went out drinking with them.
"How did you know he would jump her first?"
"Dad may be many things, but he is stuck in a teenaged body because of a curse a certain creep threw on him. Training can only go so far, and since I approved of Anko, he essentially gave himself the all clear to date her. What did you think all those trips in the forest were last month?"
"...Good thing I bet with you then."