Author's note:

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Elyan. If you've seen Saturday's episode of Merlin (Season 5), then you understand what I mean.

As usual, thanks for reading… and please review.

…..

Chapter 29: Shivers and Doubts

Gwaine walked nonchalantly among the soldiers, making his way towards the top of the hill where he knew that Elyan – still disguised as Arthur – was waiting. Just a few hours ago, the men had been restless, speaking loudly and swinging their weapons around as a cure against the fatigue and the cold. Now, when the battle was just minutes away, the atmosphere was tense and quiet, like a bubble ready to burst.

Gwaine spotted a familiar face. It was the innkeeper Kay, the one whose son Merlin had saved. Kay's mane of long white hair was tied behind his back and his shoulders were covered with chain mail and armour. He was a head taller than everybody else, more muscular than many of the younger soldiers, and with a long sword in his hand he looked positively fierce.

They had encountered Kay while crossing his village on the way to Camelot and he had been the one to suggest this place for the encampment.

"Gwaine! Old chap! When are we bringing down the witch? Those dragons are really starting to get on my nerves!"

Kay clasped him in the back, grabbing Gwaine by the cloak as he did and stirring the knight in another direction, away from any potential eavesdropping.

"Still no news of the wizard?" murmured the innkeeper to Gwaine's ear.

"No," replied Gwaine in the same low voice. "That question is still on every lip, I gather."

Kay nodded gravely. "You can't blame these youngsters. King Lot told them the wizard would be on their side, and that gave them a cause to take up arms. Now they're going to face this with no wizard in sight."

His eyes shot upwards towards the city above which black shadows could be seen flying in circles like birds of prey.

"The men have to trust Arthur," Gwaine said with as much conviction as he could. "He's a warrior. He knows what he's doing. Above all, he's a man of honour who will die for what he believes in."

Kay's frown seemed to lessen a bit. "I hope you're right. I'm about to put up the hell of a fight for this king of yours."

Gwaine smiled. His instincts had been right about Kay; he would make an excellent knight. If they both lived through it, he would make a formal request to Arthur. He didn't really know how that worked, but Merlin would know. Merlin knew everything.

The silence was suddenly broken by loud roars coming from up above. It wasn't close enough to be alarming, but it was powerful enough to give the men shivers and doubts.

"All the same," said Kay, still staring at the sky, "I would prefer to ride with the wizard by our side."

"Merlin will be there," Gwaine quickly replied. "I don't know how, but he will."

Gwaine left Kay and made his way back to Elyan, shaking hands and giving words of encouragements as he walked.

He hated being in doubt, and most of all he hated to have to conceal it. But what else could he do? These men were about to face a terrible foe. The odds were not in their favour. How can anyone expect a fair fight when dragons were involved? Their armour was thick and their wings as sharp as blades. Yet these men had answered King Lot's summon. A promised had been made. They would have a weapon like no other: a wizard.

But where was the wizard now?

The answer to that brought only dread to Gwaine's heart. Where was Merlin indeed? Would his quest bring him back here in time? There was no answer to this question, only dark thoughts.

"How are the men?" Elyan asked as soon as he saw him.

Elyan – disguised as Arthur through an illusion charm – was standing on top of the hill overlooking Camelot. He was trying his best to appear in control and sure of himself, but he couldn't quite manage it as well as the real Arthur. Indeed, Gwaine was more and more able to perceive Elyan's emotions underneath Arthur's traits. It was as though the illusion was slowly loosing of its hold.

Gwaine stepped closer to his fellow knight but avoided too much familiarity. After all, to everyone else who happened to glanced at them, Sir Gwaine was reporting to his king.

"The men are ready," said Gwaine. "More than ready. They need to get moving. Waiting just gives them too much time to think."

Elyan put an unsteady hand on the hilt of his sword. Gwaine couldn't help but feel sorry for the young knight. This was his first assault, and on top of everything he had to be leading it.

Gwaine turned his back to the rest of the crowd. "Are you ready?" he asked in a low voice.

"Don't I look ready to you?" said Elyan, mimicking Arthur's smile.

"I know what it feels like. I've been there, you know."

The smile faded and Elyan's fearful traits came back on the king's face. "You weren't the king in this other life of yours."

"Not the king indeed," Gwaine snorted. "But I was young, and like you I was afraid to die. Now let me give you some advise I acquired with experience, don't think about dying. Don't think about death. You have to fight as if death doesn't exist; not for you, and not for your men. And you'll be all right."

Elyan looked shocked. "That's your advice? Don't think about death? That's rubbish!"

Gwaine merely shrugged. "Sorry, mate. That's all I got. I ain't Merlin."

"Well, I hope he gets here soon," said Elyan.

"Me too," let out Gwaine with a sigh.

Most of all, he was missing his friend. The issue of the battle was of secondary importance to him. He had faith in Arthur's ability to carry out a plan. His worries were more of a personal nature. Being a knight of Camelot had changed his life and his priorities. If he was indeed going to die today, it would be protecting his friends.

"What about you, Gwaine? Are you ready?"

The knight smiled casually. "As ready as I'll ever be. Why do you ask?"

Elyan was staring at the horizon.

"Because the sun is rising."