Not Beta'd, but thanks to my Ky anyway! I think I killed her. She no answer any of her devices! ^.^

Let me be the only one

To keep you from the cold

Now the floor of heaven is laid

The stars are bright as gold

They shine for you they shine for you

They burn for all to see

Come into these arms again

And set this spirit free

~Love Song for a Vampire, Annie Lennox

Jem very rarely attended anything social, and he sat alone during lunch. His dorm was not far from Alec's temporary suite, but they never ran into each other in the halls. He kept to himself, locked away each night alone until the morning came, and class would start. Alec could recognize his uniform as one of the medical students, and silently was proud of Jem's victory when given his white coat a year ahead of his class. He wasn't without reason to boast of his accomplishment, but Jem wore the medical cross on his sleeves with a humble pride. It wasn't until Alec's last week in the dorms did he ever hear another voice through the thin walls, and the concrete made it hard to understand what was being shouted. Jem was not alone.

Alec moved to open his door to hear what sound did escape through the cracks under the door, but his heart jumped from his chest as Jem's door was flung open. A man much taller then both of them, with eyes as blue as his own, and hair the color of night pulsed down the hall in a heated fashion leaving Jem sobbing quietly behind the back of his hand in the doorframe. It was when Alec's eyes met Jem's did the other man press from his door and walked the short distance to the dorm's bathroom, the cries becoming coughs—violent ones, that Alec could not ignore. He followed in the wake of the retreating youth to find him bent over the sink before the grand mirror trying to choke back his tears in an attempt to calm his coughs.

"Are you alright?" The young lord didn't know what to do, or what to say to make everything better. Yet still he took a few steps forward and slowly lifted his hand to touch the trembling shoulders of the other. "Here..let me help you."

"No." Jem stated firmly pulling away from Alec, "You must stay away." When Jem pulled his hand away the blood was so crimson against his white skin that it caused Alec to gasp. He was not cut, where had it come from? Jem quickly moved his hand to cover his mouth once more as another violent quake of coughs caused him to press his back against the wall for support. Alec didn't listen, and moved to help him, but the violence in Jem's words surprised him. "Stay away!" Jem screamed and Alec stopped, "You can't come near my blood." He cried the last words sinking along the wall until he his knees were able to be hugged to his chest, and now with his head between them Jem continued to sob. "Just..go."

~Center of the Sun, Chapter 21. 20 Tears From The Moon

"Stop it!" Jem could hardly recognize his voice as he screamed at the top of his lungs, and tasted the salt on the edge of his lips from the tears that kept falling. "Don't say things like that! We'll work it out!" In the bathroom of the dorms his voice echoed over the tile, and carried down the hall like a chant as his heart broke.

"Jem this is stupid! What we have won't last! I'm sick, and will be dead soon. And you don't need this!" William fired back though his voice much quieter, and brooding in the way he tried to live in the heartbreak. He deserved this pain, but wasn't prepared on how badly it would hurt.

At first he hadn't noticed Jem's pale little hand when it touched his face, his own skin was so hot that he felt for certain he would burn through the boy's skin, and he snapped from his daze when he heard Jem's door close behind them. He felt the youth's sweet touch as if it were breaking a spell over him, and knew that what was to come next would hurt far worse than any bullet to his brain.

"William, I love y—"

"No." Just in the way Will spoke it, Jem knew that he wasn't going to allow the subject to die. He pressed back gently at first, but at the first sign of resistance he forced Jem's back to the wall. "No! I said no! You can't expect me to follow you anymore. Jem, this is bigger than we both are! I am going to die."

"I've been working with the Professor on a cure! You are not! I'm close! I'm so very close!" Jem snapped, his fists closing at his side, "I am going to cure you Will! I want to help!"

"I don't need your help, and especially from that fucking man! What is he doing in return hmm? Fucking you while I can't? Huh?" At that Will's words were a slap to his face, and Jem could no longer fight the tears that built up. Will fell apart on the inside as he watched Jem retreat from him, and wanted to fall to his knees to beg for forgiveness. However, somewhere he knew this was for the best. He couldn't let Jem risk his life anymore for a cure.

"Everything I've been doing has been for you, can't you see that?" Jem's voice broke over the edge of his quivering lips, and for a moment William's defenses crumbled, "You don't mean that." All Jem had to do was confess. He just had to tell Will that he was infected, but the words never came. The confession fell on dead lips as Will pulled the door open to slam down the halls, and walking from the one good thing left in his life.

Jem crumbled against the doorframe, the tears that he sobbed no longer seemed to matter as he could hardly breathe, and when he caught the eye of Alexander Lightwood the haunting blue of his eyes was torture. He hadn't realized they had an audience, and had he been in his right mind would have quickly apologized. Instantly he felt guilty for waking the young lord, but when the coughs took his body he couldn't speak.

The bathroom became his escape, and the mirrored sink his sanctuary as he expelled the demons of the illness in crimson stains on the beautiful tile.

Winter came, and with it a silence that fell over the city that made Jem think that perhaps he was left behind. The Bells hadn't chimed in nearly three weeks, and he marked each day one more he spent without Will. The day after their fight, soldier's came, but the dorm was empty upon their arrival. Will was no where to be found, and added to the list of names that were never to be spoken again. However, there wasn't a second that passed his name wasn't whispered with every beat of Jem's heart.

Will. Will. Will. William…Where had he gone? Was he still alive? Was he warm? Somehow, Jem knew that if Will was out there he would survive, he didn't seem the sort that would simply lay down his life for nothing, and he carried that thought with him now everywhere he went.

"Jem." The Professor spoke gently from his seat across the boy in the Rolls Royce Phantom that chauffeured him from one place to the next, and could hardly stand to see the sight. He told Jem to pack his most precious belongings, and to leave the rest; that he would be well provided for. But in the way that the sleep deprived youth clutched the small suitcase to his chest he wondered if that was truly all he had left in the world. Jem looked so tired, and broken. He looked paler than normal, and the dark circles under his eyes only presented him further proof of an underlining diagnoses that he was starting to piece together. "What's wrong?"

Just in the way Jean-Luc asked made Jem wonder how badly he must have looked. The sound of the other man's voice was half filled with fear while one part concerned, and the rest protective. He hated that he jumped at the break in the silence, and only clutched his suitcase tighter to his chest,

"I'm tired, Professor. I've not been sleeping well. And…" With his chin falling to the top of the leather square he wanted so badly to confess of his concern, and of the illness. But how could he? How could he dare make this man already fear further of his well being? He was already so in debt to the man, and already worried him enough. "Well, I…"

His attention was stolen from him when the car stopped outside of a large cast iron gate that spiraled up towards the sky in a beautiful lace designs, and opened with the very presence of the car. But what truly caused Jem's mouth to part in a gasp was the estate seated behind it like some sort of old gothic castle. Tall stone statues of various beasts decorated the lawn, and old ivy pillars complimented the front doors.

"You don't live here do you?" Jem asked with his bright eyes shifting from the grand estate to the Professor who smiled lightly with the sight, and his beautiful hand perched on the cane as if they were in a horse drawn carriage. He looked as always like some royal King, and Jem wasn't a fool. You didn't have a home like this on a Professor's salary. However, he quelled the questions that raced to his lips, and would let the Professor answer the driver who spoke in French.

"It is a family estate, Ma Petit, One that has been of St. Laurence for hundreds of years." Just in the way he answered Jem wondered if Jean-Luc had somehow had always been part of the grand design, and in many ways…part of this home. Everything about him screamed of a soul older than half the trees, and he possessed a timeless grace like that he has never known. Yet, people couldn't live forever could they? They all had to fade sometime; Jem worried he had already missed William's passing.

"Jem?" Jean-Luc spoke once more as the car pulled to a stop, and the driver came around to open the door.

"Professor?"

"You are crying." Jem hadn't realized that he started, or that the tear that chased down his porcelain skin wasn't the first. All he could think about was going inside that castle and exploring it like a child. He needed this break, more than he ever realized, but what he truly didn't realize he needed the most was the man who looked far to common perched on the edge of his seat with concern.

"I'm just really tired, and overwhelmed." Lowering his eyes his cheeks flushed with color as he realized there was an audience outside waiting the return of the Professor, the entire household staff were all lined up to welcome home their master. "There are so many people." He whispered, quickly trying to dry his eyes, and Jean-Luc gave a small laugh.

"Yes, there are. And it is cold outside. Come, they are waiting to meet you." The driver opened the door and cold bitter wind tore inside the cab like a wave, but Jem hardly had time to feel it. The numbness that came with heartache truly made Jem realize suffered a greater fate, and he worried he would ever recover. But, when the Professor mentioned the staff anxious to see him, he thought it to be a jest. No body waited to meet him, they were there for their master, but when Jean-Luc offered his hand to help him out he felt warm all over with all the smiling faces.

They shine for you.

There was a person for everything, a man to take his suitcase, a woman to draw his scarf further around his shoulders, and a pair of beautiful faces to tend to every desire he would want. And just for a moment…a small fleeting moment he felt like a prince, and fought back a giggle.

"Oh no I can carry it," Jem replied sheepishly. He wouldn't allow someone else to wait on him like this! It just wasn't right, but when the young boy looked up to Jean-Luc for an answer Jem wanted to let it go. Was that fear written on his young brow? Fear of failure to serve as hired to do so? Jean-Luc laughed, and squeezed Jem's shoulder.

"Let him have it, he will not take it far. Just to your room they have all been busy preparing." Jem truly felt that he had traveled back in time, when Queens and Kings were treated with such respect, but one didn't have to have a crown to wear the title. As they passed the whole staff welcomed him, and their master home. But it wasn't until they were inside did Jem have the chance to actually be approached.

"Look at him, Jean-Luc." A woman's voice spoke, her old and wrinkled face strained to make out the youthful figure of the young chap on the Professor's arm. "Oh you're a sight aint ya?" Oh, how he wanted to shy away in the crook of the other man's arm from her outreached hands, but with a smile he let her steal him away. "Give us a turn hmm?"

"A turn, Madame?" She was something, he could tell. Her nearly blind eyes, and kind wrinkled face let him know she was well beyond her years. She smelled of peppermint and spices, and when she slowly closed the distance between them he thought for certain she was staring straight into his soul.

"Oh my," She whispered, and Jem looked up at Jean-Luc as if something were wrong. The old hag quickly turned Jem's palm over to start reading the lines there like map.

"Mim. This is the young Master James Carstairs, the exchange student from China, Jem. This is the Mad Madame Mim. She will be in charge of your stay, and over see all of your needs."

"There is a storm brewing Professor." Mim spoke out of no where, "A blizzard, you should send the staff to prepare." Though the wind outside was rough, it didn't warrant alarm, or so Jem thought. But Jean-Luc didn't take her request lightly, and excused himself.

"Mim will show you to your room, and we'll have dinner soon." Was all the tall Frenchman would say he exited the foyer with his own set of staff members. And for the first time since he stepped foot in the grand old estate Jem got a good look around. He wanted to laugh at how beautiful it was, how much he thought he must have been in a dream. Places like this were museums now with their tall painted ceilings, and ivory stairs with hand painted carpets. From the ceiling a grand chandelier burned brightly, and from what he could tell it was still from candles inside hurricane glass. The long halls stretched like any other palace, and the paintings on the walls were old yet familiar. All of the men in the oil on canvas looked as though they were related to the Professor at first glance. His room was behind a double set of oak doors, and could have been taken right out of an old Victorian magazine.

"This…this is my room?" Jem asked her with an air of bewilderment? All of this space for one little person? The bed itself could have kept his entire family, and he flushed at the thought. Jem ran a hand over the smooth covers, and longed to be beneath them. He could almost feel the warmth radiating from the thick wool blankets and quilts, and just as he started to finger the edge of the sheets Mim's voice broke the silence.

"Go ahead boy. Climb on up. Take off your shoes. A dressing gown is in the drawer there. You look tired, and you are cold. I can tell."

"I am," Jem whispered, "But I'm trying to remain humble." The old woman smiled as she closed the distance between them, and gave his cheek a small pat,

"Don't you worry about that here, son. Welcome home." And with that she left him. The entire busy world of the St. Laurence estate silenced behind the oak doors, and Jem gave the room a once over. There was a long window with a balcony, the sort that he knew from stories like Peter Pan. He wondered if Neverland was truly outside that little hatch, and just as the wind pressed against the panes he thought for a moment he saw a shadow on the railing.

"Hello?" Jem called out, but when he drew back the curtains there wasn't anyone there. The only thing that remained was a small porcelain pot with a few of his orchids.

Will…

A/N:

So I've heard they are pulling down a few M. Rated stories, and if they do by god I'm taking Center of the Sun changing names and publishing that thing. Hoo-rah. ^.^

Thanks everyone for being so understanding, and for Alexa-Hallywell's review that helped me finish this chapter at work. It's not my best, but I have a lot of drama right now going on around my child. Those of you that are close know what is going on, but if you don't know that I'm suffering greatly. But it will all work out in the end! I have faith.

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