Carpet Lebam

Mabel told Lebam, "Remember those two new friends I told you about that I met at the dance, Candy Chiu and Grenda Lipowitz? I've invited them over for a sleepover tonight."

Lebam said, "I guess I can't take part in that. I'll stay out of your way."

"You could come in when we're asleep and prank us if you want," Mabel offered.

"I might just do that," said Lebam.

Mabel woke up in a state of confusion, on the floor by Dipper's bed. She had the words "PARTY GURL" written on her forehead.

"Ugh...what happened last night? Whoa!" she said when she saw Candy and her teddy bear taped up to the wall.

"What's up, party girl?" said Candy,

Grenda walked out of the closet, her face covered with red lipstick kisses. She noticed neither of her friends had lipstick on them.

"I don't know what I was kissing in there, but I have no regrets!" Grenda said.

"Candy falls down now," said Candy, working the duct tape loose and falling onto Mabel's bed.

That was awesome, girls. See you again soon!" said Mabel.

Lebam woke up in her own closet, her face covered with red lipstick kisses like Grenda's.

She whispered to herself, "I kissed a girl and I liked it."

She was pretty sure that both she and Grenda liked guys more, but still, not bad…

Lebam heard Dipper came back in from a rough night outside, and soon he and Mabel were in a fierce argument about splitting up rooms. She listened in. It would be nice if Mabel had her own room. Then they could be secret roommates. But where would they find another bedroom in this place?

Then Soos found an secret hidden room behind a bookcase, and Grunkle Stan said whoever he liked best would get it.

Lebam texted Mabel and offered to help her. "We'll do twice the suck-up chores and beat Dipper."

"I'll do extra stuff in the kitchen if u do outside," Mabel sent.

"I want inside. U got to cool off in the pool the other day," Lebam sent. "It's ur turn to face the heat."

Lebam started in the kitchen by making some lemonade. She got Mabel to come in and get it to give to Grunkle Stan. This got Mabel ahead by several more points.

Then Lebam cooked an omelet shaped like Stan's head. When Mabel offered it to Stan he took it with great pleasure, and his mood seemed to lift tremendously. (Lebam's memory was less affected by Bill Cipher than anyone else's, so her omelet was decorated with the original fez symbol, not the corrupted one. Little did she know that Stan's taking in his old fez symbol was actually a setback for Bill, because it made Stan feel more like his old self.)

Lebam was sure the room would be theirs. She went to the room to look it over, and found Dipper pacing around in his stocking feet. She bragged about the omelet.

"Face it. I'm like a suck-up ninja. This room's as good as mine. You might as well give up now. What do you say?" Lebam put out her hand.

"I say I'm gonna win this room somehow, and when I do I'll finally have my own space... and we'll never have to share anything ever again!" said Dipper.

He slapped her hand; there was a tremendous static shock and both fell back.

Lebam sat up, and looked across the room. "Dipper, why are you wearing my clothes? And my... face? Am I in your body?"

"Am I in your body?" Dipper asked back.

Both screamed. Lebam in Dipper ran into the bathroom to throw up. He/she punched him/herself hard in the stomach with Dipper's left hand, trying to drive herself out of Dipper's body.

"Get out! Get out! Get out!" Lebam in Dipper yelled at him/herself. It didn't work.

They stood together in front of a mirror. Lebam wasn't sure, but it seemed like the asymmetrical pattern of hearts on the sweater was not reversed on the reflection. Dipper might still have the doppelganger powers of her body! If Mabel changed clothes and he said her name... hopefully that wouldn't happen before she could warn Mabel.

They spent a few moments complaining about being in each others bodies.

"Hey look. Experiment 78," said Dipper in Lebam, turning over a tag on the carpet. "Electron Carpet. Atoms can swap electrons. This carpet must build up a static charge so powerful it can swap minds! It was the static electricity! Maybe we can use it to switch back!"

Lebam in Dipper chuckled. "Glad I'm switching back. If I was you I would totally lose the contest."

"And if I was you, which I am, I could sabotage myself! Then Mabel would lose all her points and the room would go to Dipper!"

"Wait, what?" said Lebam in Dipper.

"Oh Stan! I've always hated you! Ha ha, see who he gives the room to now!" said Dipper in Lebam.

Dipper in Lebam rushed from the room. Lebam in Dipper followed, but pretended to trip on his loose shoelaces. "Tie your shoes!"

When Dipper was out of sight, Lebam got out Dipper's cell phone and texted to Mabel's phone, "Room carpet is magic. I, Lebam swapped bodies with Dip. Hide and don't change clothes K?"

Then she rushed after Dipper, ready to start sabotaging him using his body.

Dipper in Lebam had time to make a rock sandwich and offer it to Stan, but Lebam in Dipper caught up by creating chaos in the kitchen. Dipper in Lebam followed suit by getting up on the kitchen table and pouring cereal all over herself/himself.

"Well this is gettin' weird," said Stan. He got up and walked away.

"Wait! Are you gonna dock Mabel points?"

"Dipper should lose all his points!"

They struggled together over who would follow Grunkle Stan for more sabotage.

A little while later, both had separated to look for Stan.

"Grunkle Stan, come back! I have more terrible things to do! You're toast, Mabel! That room's as good as mine!" called Dipper in Lebam.

He ran into Grenda and Candy, who had come over for another sleepover.

"There you are, Mabel!" said Grenda.

"Attack her with love!" said Candy.

Grenda hugged Dipper in Lebam and Candy, and carried them both upstairs to the attic bedroom.

Lebam in Dipper chased after them. "Wait, come back! Hey, um, can I talk to my... sister, for a sec?"

"This is a sleepover, buddy. No boys allowed!" said Grenda, shutting the door in Lebam's face.

Lebam in Dipper spied through the keyhole. She/he watched Grenda get out an age-inappropriate werewolf romance novel, Wolfman Bare Chest. Grenda pulled Dipper in Lebam up onto the bed to read it.

Lebam wondered if Grenda thought it was Mabel who kissed her last night, and if she wanted to continue the fun. Dipper was in for an uncomfortable time; it served him right.

Stan came up behind her. "What's going on, Dipper? Ah, you're at that creepy age where you spy on girls, huh? Guess it's time you and me had a man to man talk. About the birds and the bees, you know?"

"Look. It all begins with this little fella. The pituitary gland. He may be little but he has BIG PLANS," said Grunkle Stan.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaah!" said Lebam in Dipper.

While Stan read the book Why Am I Sweaty?, Lebam let her mind wander. She already knew quite a bit about the birds and the bees.

She was thinking about the advantages of being a unique individual again. If she never swapped back, she could have her own life. But... could she stand being a guy forever? What was she going to do, date Grenda? And Dipper and Mabel, two of her favorite people, would be stuck sharing a life. She couldn't do that to them.

"And now you know where babies come from!" said Stan at last.

"Goodbye, childhood," whispered Lebam to herself/himself. She meant that she was going to have to take adult responsibility and face being a doppelganger again.

Stan seemed to have enjoyed this bonding time with "Dipper." He said that he was going to give Dipper the room, and nothing Lebam could say seemed to make a difference. He handed the key to "Dipper."

She had to wait a while for Dipper to escape from the sleepover party to give him the news.

Dipper came running toward her down the hallway. "Gotta win the room. Stan! It's me, Mabel! I'm doing things you hate!"

"It's over, Dipper. Stan gave you the room," said Lebam, showing the key.

"Ha ha! Yes! Alright!" said Dipper. "Well, let's switch bodies then and I can start moving in."

Lebam didn't like losing. She really wanted that big space instead of the tiny closet she had now.

"Wait a minute. You can't have the room...if you can never get in!" she said. She ran into the room and locked Dipper out. She was still stuck in his body, but she could figure that out later.

A little while later, Lebam was trying to write a sign for the room banning girls (or should it be boys?). It was a pleasant surprise to find that the muscle memories of Dipper's ambidextrous hands let her write neatly with her right hand.

She heard Mabel's friends outside. Without thinking, she let them in. Dipper in Lebam pushed in, too.

"Dipper! Wa-wait! Don't let him in here-"

"Makeovers!" called Candy and Grenda.

They grabbed her/him. Too late, she realized Dipper was using them as allies by pretending to be Mabel.

"We're gonna make you SOO hot!" said Grenda.

Lebam protested, but there was nothing she could do to stop them smearing makeup on her/his face.

Dipper added the "final touch" and swapped back. He wiped off the makeup and claimed the room.

"Wait, hold on here. What just happened?" asked Grenda.

Lebam sighed, "I barely understand it. All I know is that if you shuffle your feet on this carpet, you can switch bodies or whatever."

Candy was intrigued and tried the experiment on Dipper.

"I am a boy now! Wassup, bro. Let's grow some mustaches," said Candy.

They all started getting swapped randomly. Then Old Man McGucket and Waddles (with Soos in his body) charged in. More swapping ensued.

Sheriff Blubs, and Deputy Durland came in.

"We've got some reports of excessive gigglin'," said Blubs.

Everyone got completely swapped around.

Finally, Lebam and Dipper were back in their own bodies. They ran up to the attic room and continued to fight over the key.

"Mabel, the room is mine! Give it to me!" said Dipper.

Lebam was tired of fighting. If she let Dipper have the new room, maybe she and Mabel could find a way to share this old one. She would just have to work out a place to hide when Dipper came in, maybe in one of the old boxes.

"What's with you? Why do you need that room so bad? I never even wanted to move out!" said Lebam.

"Me either," said Dipper.

"Then what was all this?" asked Lebam.

He explained it was because Grenda and Candy were over all the time and he felt left out. Lebam could sympathize with that completely.

"Here. I won't fight you for it," said Lebam. (She threw him the key with her right hand since he would expect that, but it was a short, underhand toss that was easy to make).

Dipper got Grunkle Stan to take the carpet out and get rid of it.

Later that night, the original Mabel was lonely for Dipper. So was Dipper for Mabel. He went back to the attic room and asked for a sleepover. They agreed to share the old attic room and let Soos have the new room for a break room.

Lebam was back in her tiny closet. She would have liked more space, but there was no way to get it. She couldn't keep this up; something was going to have to change soon.