Boyz
To have more to do while she was hiding, Lebam had found a way to tap into the security cameras of the Mystery Shack gift shop. She saw Dipper and Wendy watching old security camera footage and supplying their own fake voice-overs, which made them laugh together.
Lebam saw Mabel sneak up on them, and dance happily. She saw Mabel make a strong, accurate throw of a calendar at Dipper with her right hand (something Lebam would have trouble doing with that hand). She remembered why Mabel was happy: tonight was the Sev'ral Timez concert that Mabel had been going on about. Lebam wished she could go. She shared Mabel's infatuation with the boy band.
Grenda and Candy came in, carrying Sev'ral Timez items. They huddled and laughed together and then disappeared into the "Employees Only" section.
Lebam sighed. It was a lonely life, being a doppelganger.
That evening, after the concert, Lebam heard Mabel, Grenda, and Candy pushing something heavy up the stairs.
She heard Dipper say, "Hey, guys. How was the concert, and what's in the bag?"
"Uh... money! Money we stole!" said Mabel.
"We are criminals! We will cut you!" said Candy.
"Let's go away from here now," said Mabel.
Lebam listened in from her closet as Mabel and her friends bumped the bag upstairs and unpacked the what sounded like the complete Sev'ral Timez band in her room: Greggy C, Creggy G, Leggy P, Chubby Z, and Deep Chris!
Lebam found she could tell them apart easily with her llama hearing, by subtle differences in their voices.
"Your tour bus is really strange, Mabel girl. Where the feedin' tubes at?" said Leggy P.
Lebam wondered what he meant about the feeding tubes. Probably Leggy just meant he was hungry, in boy-band lingo. It was so awesome to have them all right nearby.
"Yo what up, girl?" said Deep Chris, and Waddles oinked in reply.
"So, when do we get to go outside?" asked Creggy G.
"I wanna cavort like a woodland creature!" said Chubby Z.
They were going on a date in the woods, to cavort like woodland creatures! It sounded heavenly to Lebam. She wanted to follow them, and to demand Mabel to let her swap in.
A car screeched to a stop outside, and Lebam heard bits of a conversation between an angry man and Soos.
Meanwhile, Mabel peeked out the window and then explained to the band that it wasn't safe to go out, that their producer was out there looking for them.
"Don't worry, guys. He has to give up eventually. Hey... in the meantime you guys can stay here with us!"
The band chattered happily.
"All right, twenty-thirteen!" said Chubby Z.
Lebam wondered what this meant, since 2013 was next year. It was probably boy-band talk for "Things are going well."
"Girls, do you realize what's happening here? We have our very own pet boy band that we can do whatever we want with!" said Lebam.
Candy said, "Remember, eventually we will have to let them go. We have to promise not to get too attached to them. Right, Mabel? Mabel?"
"All aboard the braid train! Braid braid!" called Mabel.
Lebam was almost sick with excitement and jealousy, but soon Mabel slipped away and came to her.
"Lebam, the boys are clones. They've been raised in a giant hamster cage and they don't know anything about the real world. They're going to stay with us and we'll teach them about life."
"Woop woop! May I please get in on this?" asked Lebam.
"Oh course. It's going to take a lot of work and I'll need your help," said Mabel. "We can tag team."
"Now? May I swap in now?" asked Lebam.
"Oh!" said Mabel. "Umm..."
"Pleeeease," said Lebam.
"All right... I guess...," said Mabel.
Lebam went out while Mabel stayed in the closet. Lebam, Grenda, and Candy staged a sleep-over and locked Dipper out; he slept in Soos' new break room. The girls didn't take advantage of the clones that night... much.
The next morning, Lebam, Grenda, and Candy listened to a live performance, hid on the ceiling when Stan nearly caught them, tried to teach the clones to drink water from a glass, and did a boy-riding race down the hall.
It ended with Sev'ral Timez giving Lebam a group hug. Candy and Grenda moved forward; they wanted to join in.
"Just—oh- just a few more minutes," said Lebam.
"But.." said Grenda.
Lebam's animal instincts were aroused. She hissed at them and pawed with her left hand.
Grenda and Candy left soon after that. Dipper was occupied all day with some sort of record-making project for Grunkle Stan, so he was out of the way. Lebam got Mabel out of the closet.
"This room isn't very comfortable to sleep in," said Mabel.
"Tell me about it," said Lebam.
"I want to swap back now," said Mabel.
"I've been thinking, and I want the boys to know about both of us," said Lebam. "It's too crazy-making to have two sets of hidden clones here if one set doesn't know about the other."
"You're right," said Mabel.
They walked into Mabel's bedroom together. The Sev'ral Timez clones didn't seem surprised at all.
"Yo, Mabel and Mabel," said Leggy P.
"You knew?" asked Mabel.
"Sure," said Chubby Z, going over to Lebam and sniffing her hair. "This Mabel smells more like a furry woodland creature."
Lebam grinned. "I'm part llama."
"Since you both go by the same name, could we call the animal one 'Mabel dog' and the other one 'Mabel girl'?" asked Deep Chris.
"Works for me," said Lebam. There was no point in teaching them her real name; they might slip up and use it in front of Grenda and Candy.
Lebam and Mabel spent a great afternoon with the boys. Towards evening, Candy and Grenda came over again, so Lebam moved back into hiding while the three friends continued their fun with the clones.
When it got late, Mabel suggested the other two go downstairs to watch TV in the kitchen while she got the boys down for some sleep. Lebam came back in after Grenda and Candy were gone, and the two of them did some more cuddling with the boys (the sleep plan was a lie).
After a short while, Mabel left Lebam with Sev'ral Timez while she went down to talk with her friends. Lebam kept half of her keen llama hearing tuned to the conversation below so she could be ready to slip back into the closet if the friends decided to come upstairs again.
"How'd it go up there?" Grenda asked Mabel.
"Oh, I finally got them to sleep. Poor Greggy C. He tried to eat a tape dispenser," said Mabel. "Ah, memories."
A news report came on that the boy-band king, Ergman Bratsman, had been arrested for driving in Gravity Falls without a rear license plate.
The news ended with, "...He is now in county jail, awaiting trial."
"Yes!" said Grenda.
"We have to tell the boys they are free now," said Candy.
Mabel laughed nervously, no doubt worried about what Lebam would think of that. With good reason.
"Let's go!" said Candy, and both she and Grenda rushed up the stairs giggling, leaving Mabel behind.
Instead of slipping into the closet, Lebam slipped out of the bedroom and hid behind a couple of boxes in the main room of the attic. She had to head them off! There were no other stairs up to the attic, so she charged as soon as they passed the boxes and hoped they would believe Mabel ran up the stairs behind them at incredible speed.
Grenda and Candy gasped when they saw her charge in front of the door to bar their way, but they didn't think to ask questions.
"Not so fast! They're not going anywhere!" said Lebam.
"What's the dealio, Mabel? That evil producer is gone. We have to tell the boys," Grenda said.
"Wait, girls," said Lebam. "Let's not be so hasty. I mean, think about it. If we don't tell the boys, then they can stay here with me—I mean, with us."
Grenda said, "Mabel, we can't keep them here forever."
Lebam said, "But I love them."
Candy said, "If you loved them, you'd set them free."
"Never!" said Lebam. "Every boy I've loved this summer has left me! And I'm not gonna let it happen again!" Vlad the vampire and Mermando were in her mind (as well as the two Dipper clones).
"Candy, we gotta get past Mabel. She's gone boy crazy!" said Grenda.
Lebam panted and snarled, "Boys!"
Candy charged, "Candy, attack!"
Candy's small size made her surprisingly agile, and Lebam was tackled through the door before she could fight back.
The boys looked up, startled. Mabel's lie about getting them to sleep was exposed.
"You guys, Ergman Bratsman is in jail! You're free!" said Grenda.
"Just go!" said Candy.
"Woah! Is that true, Mabel dog?" asked Creggy G.
"Uh, no! Your producer's still out there! You're gonna have to stay here, probably forever!" said Lebam.
"What! You can't listen to her!" said Grenda.
Deep Chris said, "Mabel's our girl, girl. She puts pizza in our food trough."
Chubby Z said, "She changes my newspaper, yo. She's aiight."
Grenda said, "She is not aiight, Chubby Z!"
Lebam pulled herself out from under Candy and marched over to the band members.
"Sev'ral Timez!" she said.
"Yes, Mabel dog?" said the clones in unison.
"Remove these two from the premises, please," said Lebam. She pointed at the girls and snapped the fingers of her left hand.
The clones moved forward, snapping their fingers.
"Oh no, they're aggressively dancing at us!" said Grenda.
The clones picked up Candy and Grenda.
"Mabel's gone mad with power. Save yourselves, Sev'ral Timez! You were better off with your producer!" Grenda said.
The clones tossed Mabel's friends out, then turned to pose.
"Word!" said Deep Chris.
Grenda stuck her head back in. "Call me, Deep Chris!"
Leggy P kicked the door back shut.
"Twenty-thirteen!" said Chubby Z.
"Thank you boys," said Lebam with a sigh. "Now let's get aboard the braid train."
Deep Chris said, "Things just got pretty heavy, Mabel. Maybe we should just like, chill for a minute and-"
"I said, let's get aboard the BRAID TRAIN!" said Lebam.
A little while later, Mabel came back up with a chocolate milk for herself and Lebam, and they talked in the attic room. Dipper and Grunkle Stan had driven off somewhere, so they were safe to meet openly.
"I'm feeling a little guilty," said Mabel. "Did we really have to kick out my friends?"
"Yes, we did," said Lebam. "They were going to ruin everything."
"But what will we do about a sleeping place for the boys, now?" asked Mabel. "We don't have the sleepover party as an excuse anymore."
"We couldn't have kept that up forever anyway," said Lebam. "What we should do is kick Soos out of his new break room, at least at night. He was okay with his old break room. The boys can sleep in there, I'll sleep there too to keep them company, and you can keep Dipper company in your room."
"Lebam!" said Mabel.
"We can spend every other night in their room, okay?" said Lebam.
"I still feel we're doing the wrong thing," said Mabel.
"We're not," said Lebam. "I have my reasons."
"You may be right, but I want to go in and talk to them, find out how they really feel about all this," said Mabel. "I won't spill the beans, I promise."
She went in, and Lebam heard the band singing an original song to her, Mabel Girl, ending with;
Other folks we could never trust/We know/That you'd never lie to us/Mabel girl/We know you love us SoOoOo
Then she heard Mabel say, "That's why I have to let you go."
They bedded the boys down in the new break room, and Lebam went back to her closet that night. She barely spoke to Mabel the rest of that evening.
Early the next morning, Mabel went to get the boys to set them free. Lebam intercepted her at the door to their room.
"You and your friends are cruel," said Lebam. "What do you think you're doing? The boys aren't ready to live in the wild. They can't even tell a tape dispenser from food, for crying out loud."
"But isn't it worse to keep them prisoners by lies?" asked Mabel.
"You took them out of a place where they were at least provided for," said Lebam. "It's like stealing someone's pet. Now you're responsible for them."
"They were slaves. They need to be free," said Mabel.
"I've been a slave, so I get that. But I escaped by myself; I can take care of myself. They're completely ignorant, babes in the woods," said Lebam.
"Now they know it's possible to go, they won't want to stay. We can't keep them prisoners against their will," said Mabel.
"Which is why you should have kept lying to them," said Lebam.
"It's too late now," said Mabel.
"Yes, it is. Which is why, when you let them go, I'm going with them," said Lebam.
"No! Lebam, you can't. I won't let you," said Mabel.
"I'm your prisoner?" asked Lebam.
"Of course not. You're my twin sister and I love you," said Mabel.
"Then you need to let me go. I have to help Sev'ral Timez survive in the wild." said Lebam.
"How can you do that? What will you eat?" asked Mabel.
"I can survive on leaves and grass. The problem is the boys. I think I'll start by teaching them how to raid trash cans, like raccoons," said Lebam.
"Oh Lebam, that's no life for a kid. You're twelve years old," said Mabel.
"A lot of women my age have to grow up fast, all around the world," said Lebam. "I've already said goodbye to my childhood. I had to, really, from the moment I was pulled from the mirror into this world."
"We've had fun, being together here," said Mabel.
"Yes, but this isn't really my life, it's yours. I've found my life's calling now," said Lebam.
"And you get the boys," said Mabel.
"Yes, I get the boys," said Lebam. "Woop! Woop!"
"You're my dear twin sister," said Mabel. "I wish you could stay."
"I'm not your twin sister. I'm a mirror doppelganger, a Gravity Falls monster, and it's time I lived in the woods like one," said Lebam.
"You're no monster, Lebam," said Mabel. "You're good."
"I'm a good monster, one that loves you, your brother, your Grunkle, Waddles, and everyone here very much, and I'll miss you terribly," said Lebam.
She began to sob, and Mabel hugged her, sobbing too.
"Will I see you again?" Mabel asked.
"I'll visit. I'd like to come back and do a goodbye party with Waddles in a few days, after I find a place to settle with the boys."
"We'll do a pig dance party, where you dance with Waddles, and I'll take a video to remember you by," said Mabel.
"That would be good," said Lebam. "Awesome even."
Candy and Grenda walked up to the main entrance of the Mystery Shack.
"We've gotta save the boys," said Grenda.
"I'm prepared to defend myself," said Candy, holding up her Sev'ral Timez finger extension hands.
Mabel opened the door, and apologized for going bonkers. Grenda and Candy were prepared to forgive her: friendship was restored.
Sev'ral Timez came out and looked around in confusion.
"What's going on, Mabel girl?" asked Leggy P.
"You said you had something you wanted to show us or some deal?" said Chubby Z.
"Yup. This!" said Mabel, gesturing to the outdoors and the rising sun.
Chubby Z was annoyed by the bright sun and tried to stare it down; he soon gave up and rubbed his eyes.
"Yo, yo, hold up. What's this big green mess?" asked Deep Chris.
"That's nature, Deep Chris. Bratsman won't bother you anymore. You can do anything you wanna do, go anywhere you wanna go. You're free!" said Mabel.
"Far-ee?" asked Chubby Z.
"Free! You're free! It means you can skedaddle!" said Mabel, picking up a stick to urge them on. "Now go! Go!"
The boys still hesitated.
"Get out of here before I change my mind!" said Mabel.
They sang out "Goodbye, girl," before stepping into the bushes.
A few steps into the bushes, they found Lebam waiting. "Hi guys, meet your new pack leader. I'm going with you to help you survive in the wild."
"Mabel dog," said Chubby Z. "You're aiight."
Back on the porch of the Mystery Shack, Lebam heard Candy say, "They won't last a week."
Lebam glared back in her direction and gave an angry hiss. "No thanks to you, Candy, we will."
Sev'ral Timez performed one of their songs in the woods:
Girl you always actin' so cray cray/CRAY CRAY/You tell me that you won't be my bay-bay/We're non-threatening girl/yeah
The deer they were singing to looked at them, then leaped away, startled.
Creggy G was kissing a tree.
"Dang girl," he said, "Twenty-thirteen."
Lebam stepped out from behind another tree, with one of Grunkle Stan's hunting rifles in her hand.
"Less noise making out with trees next time, Creggy G," said Lebam. "We nearly had venison tonight."