Chapter 4
We get to my house and no one's home. I have had suit cases packed under my bed hidden-just in case. We grab them and quickly leave. We head to Goodwill and Beck is kind enough to buy me 10 new shirts and some new pants. I am excited –we are really becoming friends so quickly. I am starting to wonder if living together is a good idea.
But I don't question it. I just don't- when I begin to question my life goes downhill. We get to his trailer and begin to go over our lines. We get to the love scene with the dramatic kiss. I just can't bring myself to kiss Beck. I know I would go insane…Cat's right he's attractive. But what I hate is that I never noticed before. Not really-I never notice anything it seems.
"Beck I can't practice this scene right now…I…" Man he is so attractive- I must be insane. His brown eyes and tan skin are flawless. I just broke up with Andre and I can't even bring myself to practice a romantic scene with Beck. Get a hold of yourself girl-he is just a boy; a really nice one that took me in and sheltered me.
"Did I do something to upset you?" he asks while raising his eye brows. "No that's not it-I am just not prepared to do this scene. After everything that has happened with Andre…I am not prepared emotionally" I bet he can sense that underneath this mask I am curious what kissing him entails.
"Tori, just think famous actors have bad experiences everyday and they still have to act through it just try it." I am so uncomfortable… I guess we will have to do this scene at some point. But I want to taste him- to experience him. I have never wanted that with anyone…My heart has fallen out of my chest…
We run the lines-it's all a blur…all I can think of is kissing him. DAMN! I know I want to kiss him; the desire is a part of my DNA. "Tori, why are you shaking? It' me! Are you afraid of kissing me? If you are-we can practice later…but at some point we are going to kiss…" He looks at me with those eyes-those wonderful eyes. "Tori let's try something. I want you to pretend you're in love with me. Then I want you to forget about the play and kiss me like you mean it. Just for a theatre exercise. And if it helps- throw in dialogue improve style."
I look at him-he's serious. Awesome, an excuse to sound like an idiot! "Begin and Action!" he says and I begin my "dialogue." "Hey Beck, we've been friends for awhile would you ever consider dating me?" I am acting I swear it. "Well maybe-would you kiss me?" he jests. There it is again that feel of butterflies, I don't know what to do so I say, "I might be bad at it." He looks at me and pauses- almost speechless. "Tori stop the improv now! I can't do this anymore." I notice he's blushing now.
"Beck why are you blushing? We haven't kissed yet?" I am so confused I thought I was the nervous one. "Umm well it's too real-you are ...you are really...oh man" He can't form words, what is wrong with him? "I am what Beck? A bad actress?" "No you are really adorable!" he says. "Wait…what? Me?" I feel those butterflies that roller coaster feeling is in my heart and knees again. "Tori I know this sounds crazy but can we kiss for real? You're so adorable-I want to try it just once! Oh crap I said that out loud." "Its fine Beck-now that the cat is out of the bag…I really want to kiss you too. But still just as friends right?"
I am out of breath. "Of course Tori, as friends" he blushes. We move to the couch, and sit down beside each other. Our fingers begin to lace again- they fit like a puzzle. He takes his hand and pushes my hair behind my ear. His hand caresses my chin-chills go through my entire body. My spine feels tinkles like electric shocks. His skin smells wonderful- I can't describe it. We close our eyes and our lips touch slowly. He is so good at kissing. Andre just gnawed my face off, but Beck is gentle and follows my lead. I begin to moan in humming tones. Beck notices and brushes his tongue against mine.
His tongue is soft, moist, and wonderful. He pushes me back on the couch. I fall on my back and he is lying on top of me. Our clothes are on-but we are still making out. He starts kissing my ears, my legs twitch in pleasure. He makes his way to my neck and I am in paradise; I begin to make noises, I hum, I moan, I say his name out loud!
He lifts my neck and kisses at the base of my skull. I have never felt like this before. "Tori you are a beautiful woman…" Did he just say that? Or did I imagine it? "I mean Tori, can we be kissing friends?" "Kissing friends…sure Beck Oliver!" I agree. He kisses the pressure points on my neck. My heart pounds louder against my chest as a drum. My whole body shivers. I put my tongue back in his mouth and push him to his side of the couch. And now I am on top of him, his boner under me. I say nothing to embarrass him about it. His body chemistry smells wonderful. His eyes meet mine and we just look at each other.
I put my head on his chest- and hear his heart pound like mine; the same rhythm. He is so handsome; I want him to hold me. I fall asleep in his arms and he falls asleep as well. I know I am safe, for the first time in my life I feel it and know it in my veins. This man, my friend will protect me no matter what. No one can ever harm me now.