Chapter 12- Lollipops

(a/n) The narration is in Doug's point of view

Okay so in my defence I wasn't spying, when I heard Dr Cox I just panicked, he has a habit of yelling at me and I already have a headache. I had been stuck under that body for a good half hour and as usual no one had offered to help, then when I saw him I just sort of ducked, how was I supposed to know what he and JD's goofy brother were talking about?

Kim being dead was certainly new information, I know I practically live in the morgue these days but still it would have been nice for someone to tell me! I mean that totally explains JD's rather odd behaviour this past week and to think I was starting to take it personal.

When he came down yelling at me for leaving dead bodies lying around and how disrespectful it is, admittedly I was a bit confused as he isn't exactly the type to have a go at me, now if I had known Kim was dead I would so not have said what I did about them not feeling anything anymore…that's just a bit too insensitive given the situation. And again, kind of explains how that led to him trashing the place.
At least I'm not the absolute last person to know, clearly everyone else does and that's why they're treading on egg shells, but Elliot apparently doesn't, I'll just have to remember not to mention it in front of her… and of course where I left Mr Wong but that's another issue.

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Thursday 27th March 7.20 am

Kneeling down next to the vending machine Doug Murphy pressed his head to the nearest wall, and glanced down the back of it and along the corridor. He knew he had Mr Wong when he went to get a drink. He had just heard about Kim and managed to get free, so he had pulled the body over to that very drink machine and got a nice can of soda to calm himself down.

He'd always liked Kim, for a surgeon she was really nice and always took the time to stop and talk to him, on the slower days she would often pop down the morgue for a chat and enquire about who was responsible for the latest patient's death, sometimes grinning way to much when she learned it was one of her fellow surgeons.
But apparently it was a good thing as it made her look better?
Not that he really understood how that made her look better since it was a red mark on sacred heart's success rate, but who was he to question her?

He had never seen JD so happy than when they were together, he was always smiling and laughing and joking about, of course he was like that anyway but occasionally you would see an almost shadow glaze over his eyes, displaying his darker emotions even if it was only for a second. However when he was with her, even someone like Doug noticed that his eyes practically glistened that those darker moments appeared less and less frequently.

To be completely honest the mortician didn't want to even think about how poor JD was feeling right now, he'd obviously been letting out some anger by destroying the hospital and yelling but that was just when those emotions got to much for him to handle, he must have been breaking inside as he tried to remain professional in front of people including his closet friends.

"Umm Doug? What are you doing?"

Shooting to his feet in surprise, Doug turned around to face none other than Elliot Reid who was standing just a few inches away from him, looking very confused. Well he supposed that was only far seeing as he had been peering behind a big chunk of metal.

"I lost a patient." He replied simply, reminding himself over and over again not to mention Kim, there had to be a reason for JD and all the others not to tell her she was dead and since they hadn't told him either, he knew he just had to keep his mouth shut, besides he was no good with crying girls.

Thinking back that was probably apart of the reason he now worked with the dead, giving bad news to a patient then walking away when they started blubbering saying it wasn't that bad was one of the many things Dr Cox had screamed at him for, well that and killing them of course.

"Oh I'm so sorry." She continued, brushing her bangs out of her face as she looked down at him sympathetically, she knew all to well what it felt like to loose one of your patient's after you fought so hard to keep them alive…. "Wait, hold on, you work in the morgue, all your patients are already dead."

"Yeah I know, but I can't find Mr Wong anywhere."

"Oh… well… why don't you try retracing your steps? Where do you remember having him last?" Elliot asked as she looked up and down the corridor, the hospital wasn't that big of a place, surely people would notice and complain about a big black bag being left somewhere, especially seeing as Mr Wong died seven hours ago, there had to be some sort of smell by now.

"Well I was in the elevator, stuck underneath him and then Dr Cox and Dan came in, they were talking about ki… kicking butterflies…" Doug stuttered squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing his hands together nervously as he realised exactly what he had just said, was kicking butterflies seriously the best answer he could come up with?

"Kicking Butterflies?" Elliot repeated with her eyebrows raised, a disbelieving expression on her face, Dan and Doctor Cox talking about how best to hurt a few flying insects was about as believable as her and Carla discussing how much they wished they would put on weight. She knew Dr Cox was pretty much completely insane and had some anger issues but even she couldn't picture him actively planning on torturing animals.

"Yep Butterflies, then I went to get a drink and then I went with the Janitor to the dumpster to see his trap he set for Turk, although I'm not to sure why he suddenly wants to hurt him… oh hey, I didn't have him when I went back upstairs, thanks Elliot." With that Doug turned on his heals and headed back towards the stairs humming a song under his breath. The blonde woman just raised her eyebrows and watched him leave, before shaking her head, not quite believing what she had just heard.

"Dr Reid, Mr Thomas is still asking about his morphine." A passing nurse called out as she handed the chart she currently carried, over.

"Frick!"

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About twenty minutes later and Mr Wong was safely back in the morgue all ready for his post mortem to be taken tomorrow morning, as far as Doug was concerned however it was a waste of time, the amount of blood he was covered in kind of suggested he bled out, simple as. But of course he had to waste his day cutting the man open, examining his every muscle, bone and organ with care and ignore the fact he had a bullet wound in his chest until the very end, just encase it could have been something else which killed him.

Slamming the draw shut to at least contain the smell; Doug reached over to his work desk and grabbed one of his favourite cherry lollipops. Sticking it in his mouth, he couldn't help but sigh a little as he released that was the last in the pack, the pack that Kim herself had bought for him less than a month ago. It was kind of poetic if you thought about it, the day he found out about her death he ate her last lollipop.

"Doug, Mrs Goldstone has just died, overdose should be an easy one for you." A familiar voice said from behind him, causing the young man to turn his head slightly to acknowledge the nurse. It had just hit him, like properly hit him, Kim was actually not coming back and he was never going to see her smile again.
"Thanks Carla." He replied rather queerly as he leant forward and rested his head on his hands.

"Is everything okay?" She asked almost instantly as she took a few steps into the room glancing round uneasily, dead people had always given her the creeps.

"Yeah just thinking about Kim." He answered truthfully as his shoulders sagged a little, Carla however didn't respond as she looked at him strangely. As far as she was aware Kim was coming back after what she presumed was her maternity leave was over, so why he was missing her when they never seemed that close didn't really make much sense, then again she thought it was Doug. "She was so nice to me all the time…It's crazy isn't it, of all the people in the world, you would never think something like that would happen to her."

"No, No you wouldn't but things happen, especially when you don't wear a condom." Carla replied with a small grin presuming he was talking about her pregnancy, she never really talked to Doug that much so wasn't entirely sure how to react to what he was saying… was he in love with her or something?

"Is that what happened? Is that how…you know It happened." Doug continued looking up at the Latina woman with questioning eyes, after all, all he knew was that she was dead and her son was fighting for his life, he hadn't a clue what had actually killed her.

"Umm yeah, well from what JD told me, she wasn't on the pill or any other form of contraception and it just sort of escalated from there…." Carla replied clearly slightly taken back by that question, surely at thirty years old Doug was aware of the birds and the bees and the consequences which would follow if certain precautions were not in place, right?

Clearly uncomfortable with the direction the topic of conversation was going in, Carla shook her head and turned towards the doorway. Talking about intimate details of JD's sex life wasn't really high on her to do list after all, but before she even took a step she found herself twisting back round to face the mortician, her curiosity getting the better of her. Besides as a nurse and a mother she needed to make sure the young man was aware of what may happen if he wasn't careful.

"So, what exactly do you know about, It?" she asked cringing slightly, although she had had this conversation with many teenagers in her nursing career, somehow talking about it with a colleague made everything seem a lot more painful.
"Huh?... well not a lot." Doug admitted causing Carla to raise her eyebrows. "Well barely anything, just what I heard Dr Cox say."

"What Dr Cox said?" Carla repeated her eyes almost bulging out of their sockets; this was just getting weirder and weirder by the second.

"Yeah, well what I heard Dr Cox saying to JD's brother anyway." Doug continued, oblivious to the fact he and Carla were clearly not on the same wave length.

"Dan and Dr Cox were talking about it?" Carla repeated sceptically, yet at the same time her eyes almost dancing out of their sockets as she thought about the gossip she was getting. Sure Dr Cox discussing Sex wasn't something new, he made jokes about it all the time, but him openly discussing it with Dan no less, was something Laverne would have all but dreamed of.

"Yeah and baby Sam, I think that's what they said JD had called him…" Doug replied as the dark skinned woman's mouth dropped, Kim had given birth? How on earth had JD managed to keep that quiet? And perhaps more importantly why had Dr Cox been the only one JD had told?

Before Doug could say another word Carla reached down to her pager and quickly typed a message to her boss/ Friend/ ex, how dare he keep this from her, she had the right to know if one of her best friends had just had a baby, she would need support, especially since she and JD had broken up.

"Can you believe I have just finished the last lollipop Kim will ever give me?" Doug mumbled after a moment or two, pulling the empty white stick out of his mouth and staring at it intently like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"I'm sure once things settle down with the baby she'll get you another pack…" Carla said rather uneasily, confused at how big a deal that seemed to be to him, the woman had after all just given birth, and he couldn't be that addicted to the sugary snack could he?

"Carla, I believe in miracles, believe me I do, how do you think I made it though the first four years in this place? But even I know a dead person can't buy me sweets." With that Doug swung his chair around and without looking back headed out of the room, oblivious to the impact those few words would have and the events they were sure to put into motion.

Spinning around to face the door as it slammed shut, Carla simply stared at it for a moment or two, almost like she was frozen to the spot as those words flew around her head, repeating themselves over and over again.

'A dead person can't buy me sweets.'

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Kim wasn't dead! She couldn't be dead, it just wasn't possible, wasn't plausible, she was a young perfectly healthy mother with her whole life ahead of her; there was just no way she had passed on.
Doug had to have heard wrong, that was the only possible explanation the nurse could come up with, he had heard a rumour about JD's strange behaviour, seen that Kim hadn't been at work for the last week and jumped to conclusions!
Dashing forward Carla full out charged out of the morgue, determined to set the younger doctor straight on a few things, there was no way she could let him go around the hospital saying, hell even thinking things like that.
What if he had said something and it wasn't to her? To someone who would have believed him without question? The repercussions didn't even bare thinking about.

'A dead person can't buy me sweets'

"Doug, wait up!" Carla shouted as she ran down the hospital corridors.
The brunet hearing her, stopped abruptly just before he reached the staircase to join the living population, taking in her reaction with a confused and innocent stare.

"Sorry I know I shouldn't say things like that, that it's upsetting." He said instantly, holding his hands up in defeat as the nurse charged towards him, anger written all over her face.

"Then why say it?" She growled in her usual annoyed tone which could have even Dr Kelso take a step back in fear for his very life.

"Well because I didn't think, I mean what if Elliot heard? I'm sorry it's all just such a shock, I'll be more careful of what I say from now on I promise." He mumbled backing away slowly.

"Never mind Elliot, do you know how sick it is to make comments like that? Kim is a new mother and you're wishing her dead? What just because you haven't seen her in a few days you decide her fate? That is wrong on so many levels!" Carla continued completely ignoring Doug's expression as it went from one of remorse to concern before finally turning to one of realisation.

"You don't know do you?" he said so softly it was almost a whisper as he looked down at the floor and began to nervously play with his fingers, taking deep calming breathes.

"What are you talking about?" Carla replied, her voice slightly smoother as her fore head crinkled in confusion.

"Carla I'm not making this up, Kim died seven days ago, I heard Dr Cox telling Dan on his way to see JD, they are really worried about him, it's why he's been acting so strange lately. His behaviour, you must have noticed how erratic it's been; he's suffering, a lot…" Doug all but mumbled as he continued to look at the floor, refusing to make eye contact with the Latina woman who wasn't making a sound.

'A dead person can't buy me sweets'

Carla simply shook her head over and over again as Doug's words slowly started to sink in.

"I'm serious Carla, I'm presuming it happened after she gave birth, that's why Dan's here, to try and I don't know comfort JD…I guess." Doug added as he quickly glanced in the nurse's direction only to realise she didn't seem to believe him.

"Kim's dead?" Carla stuttered her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. Doug could only nod in response as he watched the mother of one's body begin to shake and listen as her breathing became deeper.

"Oh good god!" She eventually gasped out as her hand went flying up to cover her mouth, as bile rose in her throat. She literally felt like she was going to be sick as reality finally hit her like a ton of bricks.
Kim was dead. Like actually not coming back, lying in a morgue, dead. And JD! JD had been suffering in silence for over a week!

"Didn't you wonder why he was acting like a lunatic? I thought you being his best friends you would know, that he would have told you…" Doug continued not even realising he was probably making the situation worse.

'A dead person can't buy me sweets'

A small sob escaped Carla's lips as she tightened her grip around her mouth. She had said over and over again for him to deal with his problems on his own, all week he had been trying to talk to her, and Elliot, and Turk, but all three of them had brushed him of, told him to grow up and sort out his own problems, to not burden them. Hell she had made it impossible for him to even try and tell them, she had made him suffer though the grief on his own, what kind of a friend did that make her?
JD was in pain, real pain, his eyes were haunted and he looked like he hadn't slept in days, he was acting like a completely different person and she didn't even realise there was a problem! She actually couldn't believe she had been that oblivious to what had been going on… and JD had suffered because of it.

"Oh god what have I done!" She croaked, causing the tears which had been forming to slowly descend down her cheek, she couldn't possibly have felt any worse about herself than she did right then, she couldn't possibly feel any more guilty if she tried.
Doug just shrugged before patting her on the shoulder awkwardly and walking away as Carla collapsed against one of the white walls, her whole body now shaking in disbelief.

Picking up her pager once more, she sent a second message to Dr Cox, then a third, her fingers barely hitting the right buttons as she typed, her vision going blurry as more tears formed… what had she done? What on earth had she done?

(a/n) okay so there you are, someone knows.... people should have more faith in Doug... who guessed he spilled his guts to everyone... he didn't do it intentionally. I hope you liked the chapter I re wrote it about five times this last couple of weeks especially the ending. Sorry it took so long to update, this chapter hasn't been beta checked and I will post the beta'ed spelling mistake free chapter as soon as I get it back.
thank you for everyone who reviewed!