Chapter 17- Chance

(a/n) Warning, may contain upsetting scenes, but give it a chance

They say chances are something people give away freely, that it's human instinct to trust a person's word. When it comes to doctors, chances are something their very work is based around. What's the chance of a patient pulling though? What's the chance of a gunshot victim ever living to see the guy prosecuted? What's the chance of a little baby, whose life hasn't even started yet, getting to take his first step?

We live by statistics and when outcomes look bleak we fight tooth and nail to prove to the world that they are wrong, that as long as someone's heart is still beating they can defy the odds. Unfortunately even with the best care in the world, there are some things even Doctors can't change, some say a person's fate is written in stone and once death decides to come for them, there is nothing that can be done.

Thursday 27th march 1.09pm

"Okay…" The doctor said carefully as he grabbed a chair from across the room and spun it around so he could take a seat in front of JD and the incubator. "So here's the thing…."

He paused as he looked at the red rimmed eyes of John Dorian and his older brother; it had been just twelve days since he had first met the young man but it had felt like he had known him years. That was always his problem, getting too attached to the families of patients, learning their story, feeling their pain and he sure as hell felt the Dorians' pain.

There were times the older man hated his job and this was definitely one of them. This family had done nothing to deserve what they were going through, what they would inevitably be going through for a long time to come. If there was a God out there he had one twisted sense of humour that was for sure.

For someone so young to have to fight as hard as this little guy did, it just didn't seem right. To make matters worse, the baby wouldn't even get to lay eyes on his mother, fell her touch, her warmth. Sure he had his dad but it just wasn't the same, a baby needed both of its parents, never just one of them.

"Right well we got Sammy's test results back and I'm not sure which to tell you first." He continued, while sparing a glance at the little boy who weighed the same as a bag of sugar. "As you know his heart and lungs were not fully developed and there have been a lot of complications due to his early birth. Unfortunately having to undergo the type of surgery Sammy has, when his body is already so delicate, it's put a lot of strain on his organs and as a result his kidneys have been starting to shut down."

JD swallowed hard and nodded, his eyes not once leaving their position on his son's chest, watching it raise and fall. He felt his brothers' grip on his shoulders tighten and his nails begin to dig in to his skin, even though the layers of clothes.

Life just wasn't fair.

He was just numb all over, dreading what else he was about to hear, he wasn't strong enough for this; he couldn't handle loosing another person from his life. First Kim, then his friends, now his son? It was like he was living someone else's life, this wasn't how it was supposed to happen; this wasn't how it was supposed to be. He was supposed to be curled up with Kim in bed, reading little Sammy fairy tales while he was still safely inside his mummy, not sat in a hospital room without her just waiting for the news he knew was coming.

"Tests have also shown very little stimulation from Sammy's lower legs, from the knees down, he can't feel a thing and it's looking doubtful this situation is going to change. If it were it would have happened by now."

Again, JD nodded and allowed a single tear to run down his face. It was inevitable really, if it was one of his patients, he just knew what the next words from that man's mouth would be. Still he couldn't help the hate which was bubbling inside of him; their job was to cure the sick, to make them better! How could anyone claim to be a doctor who couldn't even save a new born baby's life. Sammy was supposed to have the world at his feet, all the experiences of life ahead of him, learning to walk and talk, using his imagination to create games and make friends, go to school and college, to experiment with coffee and girls. He had everything to live for, yet he'd never get a chance to do any of it.

"Great doc, you wanna tell us anything we don't already know" JD heard someone snipe from behind him.

He couldn't blame him. That had always been Dan's go-to-thing, a way to protect him self from things he didn't want to hear. Under normal circumstances he would have berated his brother, but there was nothing normal about this.

"When this whole thing began, we warned you about how Sammy would cope, that there was a very small chance anything could really work. He's a fighter, he's got a proper little spirit about him and he's done everything he can to keep himself going for his Daddy as we fought to make him better." Again the Doctor hesitated and turned to look at the little boys stats, listening to the steady beating of the heart monitor. "But unfortunately there comes a time where medical intervention has to take a step back."

At that point a nurse walked into a room, a trolley beside her, ready to collect the equipment. She gave a soft smile to the family and nodded towards the doctor, indicating everything was ready.

They say that when the time comes people always know. That there is always some sort of unspoken agreement, that there really is no light at the end of the tunnel. Even if the parents deny it, refuse to let the situation sink in, deep down they know. They protest on the outside as much as possible, fighting back the truth which is circling around them.

A child's life is precious and one that needs to be fought for every step of the way. Part of a parent's job is to fight their corner and to be there for them no matter what. But when there really are no other options, sometimes the best thing anyone can do is to stop the pain, to be there and tell them everything will be alright as the life fades from their eyes.

Sometimes the kindest and hardest thing to do for them is to let them slip away peacefully.

"This is why, as a team and after taking Sammy's progress into account we have decided, its time."

Once again JD could only nod, not trusting his voice to make a sound. This couldn't be happening, it just couldn't be.

"It's time we take him of the ventilator. After today and given his current stats, We think he may just be strong enough to breathe on his own."

This was not one of those times.

"Sorry?"

"Doctor says what now?"

Both JD and Dan replied at the same time, exchanging a look of disbelief as they stared at the man in front of them, who had a small smile on his face, his head tilted slightly as he judged their reactions.

"I said, hes strong enough to try breathing on his own. he's not out the wood yet, not by a long shot but he is getting there... slowly. With your permission, we'd like to take the tube out and we'll see about getting him into your arms. I think its time someone held their son."

(a/n) *hides behind a rock and slowly peeks out* Hiya anyone remember me, its been an age since I updated this so I'm not sure if anyone's really interested in me continuing... but here's the next part anyway. I'm going to make it my mission to finish this this summer and will try super hard to actually keep to this- college work has settled down now so I'll try my best!

Thank you to anyone who really is still reading this! And I hope this chapter was okay, wasn't sure where to go with it, still not, I cant even remember what I originally planned when I started this 2 years ago so will just wing it and hopefully it work out okay! If not you can all yell at me.