Sorry for the long update! I'm really busy right now but yeah...I'm still writting
Please enjoy it
There has always been this little boy, surrounded by darkness. No matter how hard he tried, his hand was never able to reach the light he craved. He grew tired and restless, finally giving up. "Maybe ... this is my fate," he thought. A kind hand came forward, reaching out with delicate fingers, gently taking his hand and finally allowing him some light.
Even though he was scared, he grasped hold of that hand and was pulled into a warm embrace.
It was full of so much love and warmth; it made him almost cry in happiness. Then, the warmth was gone, and he was again, alone with the darkness. A faint whisper echoed throughout the emptiness, "I'm sorry".
"Why? Don't go!"
Gaara's eyes opened suddenly as he sat up right. His hands gripped onto the bed tightly as he tried to stop panting. Sweat ran down his face and his eyes were wide in fright. What was that? A nightmare? It felt so real ...
He tried calming himself down, placing one hand over his rapidly beating heart. There was nothing to be afraid of. He was safe ... he was alone.
Alone?
He turned his head to search for someone. Someone who was supposed to be by his side, but there was only cold sheets beside him. There were no traces of anyone sleeping near him. Where was Naruto? Did he get back safe? When did he climb into bed? Was it Naruto that carried him?
"Naruto!" he called out in panic before he noticed a piece of paper on the bedside table. Tentatively he picked it up, and looked it over. It was a letter.
"I have to go on a mission early in the morning. Sorry I came back so late, I couldn't wake you up. I wouldn't dare try. I have eaten the dinner you made last night, it really was delicious. Oh yeah, I don't know when I am going to be home tonight, so you don't need to make dinner for me. Get plenty of rest and don't worry about me. From Naruto." Gaara read it aloud and looked down, a frown settling on his lips.
So Naruto was the one to put him in bed last night, but why didn't he wake him? He was so worried; also he wanted to know what was wrong.
"Did he ... sleep with me last night?" Gaara mumbled quietly whilst looking at the other side of the bed. It was still tidy so it would be impossible for Naruto to have slept there. The blonde moved around a lot and caused quite a bit of chaos amongst the sheets, and he couldn't tidy up without waking Gaara.
So Naruto didn't sleep next to him last night that was the only explanation.
'No, I'm over thinking this. Naruto must have a good reason,' Gaara thought to himself. He caressed his belly gently. Even though he was told not to worry, he couldn't help but think why? There was something wrong, he could feel it.
He hoped Naruto would be back soon to ease all this worry.
lol
This was becoming ... ridiculous, and not the funny kind.
It was weird, really weird.
He hadn't met Naruto in the past few days ...
It was amazing, how the blonde could avoid him this much, even though he did come back, every night, but Gaara never saw him.
He always came back so late and Gaara couldn't keep his eyes open that long. He needed to sleep and the pregnancy was making it worst. The redhead always fell asleep and then Naruto would place him in his bed, then before Gaara could wake up, he was gone.
He was finally at his limit.
He was tired through lack of sleep, worry, over thinking and morning sickness, which, as the days past, got worst.
The blonde always wrote out a letter saying he needed to do something, or he had a mission or he had a new technique to practice.
It was so weird.
It was worrying
It was strange.
Gaara knew that he had to do something about it. He needed to talk to his husband, but he couldn't even see him.
Should he ask Naruto's friends? Should he search the village for the blonde? What was wrong?
Gaara was on the edge ...
It hurt him, so deeply; the fact Naruto avoided him for an unknown reason.
Naruto ... where are you?
lol
"Oi, Naruto!"
The blonde turned his head to see his friend smoking nearby.
"Oh, hi Shikamaru," he greeted the male and wiped away the sweat that flowed from his forehead. He had been practicing his new jutsu and had been working so hard that his clothes were drenched.
The deer herder approached him, his eyes analyzing everything as Naruto wiped away the sweat that trickled down his face and neck.
"I found the culprit. The ones that hurt Ino and Chouji," Shikamaru spoke without emotion in his voice. The whiskered male gasped quietly and turned to his friend, blue eyes wide.
"Really?" He was clearly shocked.
"Yeah, it was a group of missing ninja," Shikamaru answered as the blonde stared at the ground. Finally, they has found the culprits, but ... but ...
"I and the others are going to track and chase the group tomorrow, do you want to join?" Shikamaru asked the abnormally silent male. Naruto was thinking, would he join? He didn't know ...
Shikamaru stared at his troubled friend. Something was definitely off. He had been told that Naruto had visited Ino every day. Also, Naruto had being searching for missions. Going on every single mission he could. Even the low ranking ones like chasing a cat around the village. If he wasn't on a mission, or at the hospital, he was training until midnight.
Something was definitely off ... it was as if the blonde was trying to avoid something, hiding something and trying to keep himself as busy as possible.
"Are you okay, Naruto ... any problems?" Shikamaru asked quietly. The blonde just laughed awkwardly.
"No ... it's just ...," Naruto faltered.
He didn't know if he should chase the culprits ... he didn't know if he could join Shikamaru.
"I won't force you to join us Naruto, if you can't it's alright," The deer herder spoke gently as the whiskered male stared at the ground.
It was rare for Naruto to be this depressed.
"Shikamaru ... how is Ino's condition?" he spoke lowly.
The deer herder removed the cigarette from his mouth as a small cloud of smoke drifted from his lips. "I cant say she is good, but she is definitely getting better."
Naruto turned his head to the side. Shikamaru really wanted to claim that the blonde, who stood before him, was an imposter.
But what kind of imposter would copy Naruto being so depressed and gloomy. What was the reason behind this?
Was it to do with Ino getting raped? Or was it just pure coincidence?
"Naruto, tell me what is wrong, you have been acting so strange recently,"
The blonde looked up in shock but soon covered it up and shook his head. "Don't worry about me," he spoke softly, a fake smile appearing on his lips.
Shikamaru sighed; he wasn't the type of person to force someone to talk. If Naruto didn't want to talk about it, then it was fine.
"Let me give you some universal advice," this confused Naruto.
"Just be honest with yourself. If you be honest with 'that person' then 'that person' will understand completely,"
Naruto tried making sense of the deer herder's words, but none of them made sense.
"Why ... why are you giving me that advice? I don't have-," Naruto tried speaking but was stopped by Shikamaru raising his hand.
"Everyone in this world has their own little problem. If your problem concerns someone else then I think that advice is most fitting for you, even though my words are nothing special,"
"Be honest ...," Naruto mumbled to himself.
"Well, even though it is troublesome, I will be here for you if you want to talk, and ... maybe we will be family soon," Shikamaru added.
Naruto nodded and smiled gently, the first glimpse of relief Shikamaru had seen in quite some time.
'He didn't even make fun of my words,' Shikamaru thought, the usual Naruto would tease him about the relationship he held with Gaara's sister.
"Oh yeah, and beat the culprits twice as hard, for me," Naruto shouted before the deer herder disappeared into the woods.
Naruto stared at the sky. Be honest ... could he do that? Should ... he?
It's just ... he didn't know what to do anymore ...
lol
Naruto walked back into his apartment slowly. Just like the past few days, he had come back at the latest possible time. In truth, he didn't want to come back at all, but he didn't want to worry Gaara any more than he already had. If Gaara had begun to label him as a "runaway" then that would be very bad.
Deep in his heart, he felt guilty. He really didn't want to do this, but it had to be done. He wasn't ready to meet Gaara again. He didn't want to ruin everything by saying one thing wrong. Clearing his head, that's all he needed to do. Alone ... so he could take things one step at a time.
His steps stopped when he saw Gaara, stood before him, half asleep. Naruto was stunned. How...?
"I tried my best to stay up as late as possible," Gaara answered Naruto's silent question, "We need to talk," his face turned serious.
Naruto's face grew pale. Great ... what should he do?
"No you need to sleep, we can talk about it another time," the blonde shook his head.
"What? Talk another time? You are never at home. What is wrong with you?" Gaara's voice rose, he had finally snapped.
Naruto avoided Gaara's eyes and answered back coldly, "I'm busy, and I told you in that letter,"
"What do you mean busy? You are avoiding me! I know it!" Gaara shouted, frustration building up inside of him. He grew closer to Naruto, trying to get some eye contact.
"Look at me! Is something wrong? You can talk to me about it!" Gaara's voice was laced with desperation. The blonde's heart tore in two as he heard the sadness in Gaara's words.
"Sorry," he finally replied with a frown.
"I don't need your 'sorry' all I need is an explanation Naruto!" He shouted once more.
Naruto just stood in place, avoiding eye contact.
"I... I...," the tears fell slowly, one by one from the redhead's eyes.
"I want ... you ... back Naruto ...," Gaara murmured, as more tears glided down his pale cheeks. The blonde grew paler and paler.
'I hurt him again ...' he thought as his body began trembling.
The redhead was shocked when in a matter of seconds, Naruto had disappeared from his sight. He had ... escaped ... run away ... fled...
Gaara fell to the floor, landing on his knees. His eyes became red as he cried.
"Naruto! Please come back!" He screamed but never received a reply.
"What is wrong? Is it me?" Gaara asked himself. He sat there, crying and asking the same unanswered question, over and over again.
lol
You are so stupid ...
I know ...
Why did you do it?
I don't know ...
Once Shukaku gets mad, it is very hard to earn her forgiveness ...
Gaara isn't Shukaku you know ...
I know ... but I believe he is the same in some ways.
I'm just confused ...
You confuse me too ... with all your stupid thoughts echoing in this place.
Yeah ... I know my thoughts are stupid, but I can't stop them ...
Your brain is working too hard ... well seeming as its your first time you have thought so much ...
Maybe ...
You didn't even get mad at me ... I literally just called you 'stupid' ... huh? I guess you really do need alone time ...
And with that Kyuubi cut off the communication, leaving Naruto to think by himself.
He wanted to cry so much, he wanted to get mad, he wanted to shout, he wanted to fight, he wanted ... he wanted to do anything to get rid of the burden that sat on his shoulders. To get rid of the guilt that was eating him alive.
He didn't even understand what he was doing. He didn't know ... he just needed something.
Forgiveness?
It was impossible right?
It wasn't that ... he just needed something ... to get rid of the anxiety.
He had nothing. The burden grew heavier, the guilt grew bigger. They were chewing away at him, eating him alive. His feelings became dull and his mind blank. The guilt was always there, he couldn't smile ... he couldn't eat ...
His appetite had almost completely gone. He always felt full so he didn't eat as much. Taking bits before throwing the rest away.
Lack of sleep also affected him. Nightmares shadowed every dream, twisting it and torturing him.
So tired ... he was so tired ... he wanted to stop it all but how?
What was wrong with him?
He needed something, something to make him live again.
He needed to do something, to fix everything.
Go back to Gaara ...?
lol
Gaara was lying in the bed ... he lay there all day and night, staring off into space sadly. His eyes were swollen and hurt because of all the crying.
He couldn't sleep but he didn't want to get up.
Avoiding him ... leaving him ... ignoring him ... without any clear reason ...
It hurt ...
What was Naruto thinking about? Gaara needed him so badly. After the blonde left, the redhead only just realised how lonely and silent the world was to him. Even though they had just married, the short amount of time together was sweet.
Gaara believed that Naruto would always stay by his side, always support him during the pregnancy.
But now he was gone ...
Did it mean Naruto wanted a divorce?
Their marriage had lasted 2 weeks, but Gaara hadn't seen his husband for 11 days.
It felt like he was completely alone.
What did he have to do?
What would happen to him and their baby if Naruto just left?
If there was something wrong, then the red head would do his best to change it so it was right. Was it his appearance? Was it the way he spoke? Was it his cooking?
An explanation is all he needed, and it would be changed, but Naruto didn't say anything ... he needed to know ...
He needed to talk to someone so desperately.
Siblings? No he couldn't make them worry. He didn't know Konoha well enough to freely talk to the citizens and he had no friends here.
What should he do?
lol
"If the rumour is right, then this will be easy right?"
"Yeah ... I didn't know something as ridiculous as this would happen, but it is a good opportunity."
"Yeah just don't underestimate them."
"If this is done smoothly, we can have both the Ichibi and the new bijuu at the same time."
"Yeah ... thats right and it will all end with a BANG!"
It is quite short. I couldn't grab the feeling when I write this. I know...it is a bit plain. I don't know...it just hard to imagine what will Gaara and Naruto think at those hard times you know. At least I tried to make it more realistic...maybe I just have my hands full so I couldn't give my heart into this chapter.
Well...maybe this chapter isn't really good but I guess next chapter will have some surprise...I will do my best to write it
So, please review!