Love Can Hurt

Chapter 2 Losing and Gaining Love

Garrus woke; having the best sleep he's had in years. His mandibles spread in a turian grin and sighed in content. The movement to his side drew his eyes there. There slept Samantha Shepard, a small smile was on her lips as she subconsciously nuzzled into him. He grinned again at the sight of her so at ease. He brought up his hand and brushed the hair from her face, smiling the way her face scrunched up then relaxed as she hummed in content.

He let her sleep until EDI started talking, making him jump in surprise, which in turn woke Samantha up. "I'm sorry if I frightened you Commander, but the Illusive Man wishes to speak with you in the debriefing room. "Samantha opened one eye and replied sleepily, "Thanks EDI Anything else I need to know?"

"Miss Lawson and Mr. Taylor would like to speak with you."

"Thanks EDI. That will be all."

"Logging you out, Shepard."

Samantha sighed and moved to get up only she had a pair of arms wrapped around her. She looked only to see Garrus. He noticed her looking at him and quickly removed his arms and if a turian could blush he would be. "Uhh…" Samantha just smiled and kissed his mandible while whispering thanks. He moved to get up and leave and she looked at him, "Hey, Garrus, thanks for that. And…well we can talk later, okay?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice, Sam." She smiled at him. A genuine, happy smile and he felt himself smile back as he walked out her door.

Garrus went down to the mess and saw; Jacob, Miranda, Joker, Ken and Gabby, and Kelly. As he walked towards the kitchen to get himself some food, he felt all of their eyes on his back till Joker spoke up, "How bad is the damage? You know from what Alenko said."

Garrus frowned, "What do you think? If she wants to, she will tell you herself. It is not my place to say."

He grabbed his breakfast and sat next to Joker and began eating. Joker looked at him then sighed as he looked back at his own food, "She doesn't deserve the shit she takes from everybody. She deserves better." At that Joker looked back to Garrus. "She needs you, Garrus. We all know that if someone doesn't do something, that she will be broken beyond repair."

Garrus knew what he was saying was true and he wanted to be the one that catches her when she falls, but the decision falls to her. He can't force her to, no matter how much he loves her. Everyone was looking at him again. Looking for some kind of agreement. He just sighed and closed his eyes. "I don't know Joker I can only help as much as she lets me. Which we all know isn't a lot." He opened his eyes again and saw them all looking at their food. He felt determination run through him, "But I'm going to do my damn hardest to make her happy, to see her smile and be like before any of this reaper shit happened." Everyone smiled at him and nodded in encouragement, and they ate while talking normally.

Samantha walked out into the mess and heard all of them talking when she heard Joker and Garrus talking.

"She needs you, Garrus. We all know that if someone doesn't do something, that she will be broken beyond repair."

"I don't Joker I can only help as much as she lets me. Which we all know isn't a lot, but I'm going to do my damn hardest to make her happy, to see her smile and be like before any of this reaper shit happened."

She felt herself smile. Does he really think of me as more than a friend? Who am I kidding; he just basically said it out loud! She thought to herself. She walked out to the mess, the smile still on her face, and everyone stopped talking. She frowned and turned to them, "Did someone just see a ghost or something? Why is everyone so quite?" No answer. She smiled softly, "I know all of you have concerns about my well-being, and I appreciate it, but I'm OK. I admit what happened yesterday certainly hurt but I know that I have people I can fall back on and talk to." Her eyes met Garrus' and her smile grew. She turned away and made herself a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal and went and sat across from Garrus and Joker.

"Well I better get back to the bridge. See ya' guys later." Joker said as he got up and left.

"I should also return to my post, Commander." Kelly added as she also got up and left.

"As should we. Come on Jacob I have some things to talk to you about." Miranda, getting the idea, as she and Jacob stood up and left.

"Ken and I should get back down to engineering too." Gabby followed and elbowed Ken in the side signaling him to follow as well.

Samantha smirked as they all got up and left," And then there were two, or do have do some calibrations." She smirked as he scowled at her, but then let out a chuckle. "I think this is more of a coincidence." She also chuckled at that but her face grew serious as she brought up the topic they were both thinking about, "Garrus I-"But was cut off by EDI's voice. "Commander, the Illusive Man wanted me to inform you that his patience is growing thin and wants you to see him immanently."

"Shit…Thanks for the reminder EDI, I'll go see him now. That will be all."

"Logging you out Commander."

She turned and looked at Garrus with a small sad smile, "Discussion later in my cabin OK? We can watch Blasto too." Garrus just chuckled and nodded in agreement. "I'll see you around Sam." With that they both got up and went separate ways for now.

Samantha appeared in front of the Illusive Man with her arms crossed. She hated this man with every inch of her being and growled out, "What do you want Illusive Man." The last part she sneered out. The illusive Man just smirked at her, "Shepardit seems you have confirmed our suspicions that the collectors are working for the reapers and also managed to save half the colony, your boyfriend included." Samantha's eyes dropped. "Only half? All of them should be there. This can't happen again."

"It's better than the whole colony. I also have a new list of dossier that I have sent to your terminal."

"Alright, anything else." She growled.

"I expect you to leave past relationships in the past." Already done. She thought bitterly but chose to say, "None of your damn biasness."

"If it inters fears with the mission it is my business, Shepard. If you can't let him go then I will intervene. And yes you can take that as a threat." He stated smugly and with a smirk, thinking it had an effect on her. Go ahead, I could care less. She thought as a scowl appeared on her face.

"That will be all, Shepard." And with that he ended the transmission.

Samantha let out a frustrated sigh and walked out of the briefing room and into the armory where Jacob stayed. She walked up to him and called, "Jacob, EDI said you needed to speak with me."

"Uh, yeah I do, though I don't know what to think of this." He replied unsurely.

"Jacob, you're a member of my crew and no matter how unrealistic it is, if you need help with something talk."

"Right Commander, sorry, it just the ship my father served on, the Gurnsback, has just sent out a distress signal. This ship has been missing for ten years so I do not think it is a coincidence, but… I don't know what I'm asking Shepard, but if it's possible could we go down there to see if it's real and people are still alive or find bones. I have to know Shepard."

"It's alright Jacob; we'll make time to go down there."

"Thanks Shepard, this means a lot."

She smiled at him and walked out the armory and into the elevator and headed down a floor to talk to Miranda.

Once she was just outside Miranda's door she knocked to be polite. She heard a muffled come in and walked into the room and saw Miranda looking out her window. Her normally perfect face was now twisted with concern and…fears? Samantha had never seen her so riled up before and asked, "Miranda what's wrong." Miranda looked at her and looked reluctant to say it but did anyway.

"I find myself in the awkward position of asking you for help. Remember how I told you about my father and his dynasty? Well when I left that fell to my sister to uphold…I rescued her from him and gave her as much of a normal life as possible. What worries me is that I believe my father knows where she is and is coming to get her. I've tried to do everything in my power to protect her from him without interfering with her life but I have no other choice now. I have set up a meeting with my contact, Lanteia, on Illium. I would like you to come with me while we relocate my sister."

"I will Miranda don't worry, your sister will be fine." Samantha said with a reassuring smile.

"Thank you…Shepard."

Samantha smiled at her while putting a hand on her shoulder. Miranda returned the smile and Samantha walked out the door and headed for the bridge to give Joker his new coordinates.

Samantha walked into the CIC and said "hello" to Kelly who in turn gave a "hello" back and walked up behind Joker and took his hat from his head and placed it on her own. Joker reacted, as if expecting it, and spun the chair and looked at her with fake glare. Samantha replied innocently, "Joker why are you glaring at me. It's hurting my feelings." Faking a sad frown.

Joker laughed, "Sam don't make me get up and get it myself. I know it would make you feel guilty for weeks." He said with a smirk. She reluctantly gave his hat back while saying in a pouty voice, "Meanie." Joker chuckled. "So Sam, where are we headed this time? Or did you just come up to talk."

"Unfortunately Joker, I'm just here to tell you to take us to Illium."

"That's too bad. Hey for our movie Friday, I have all the original Star Wars downloaded to watch if you want."

"How did you find the originals!?" She squealed in glee.

"Well when my job is mostly looking at buttons and sometimes pushing one, I tend to have a lot of time to search. So you want to watch them?"

"Is that even a question? Of course I do! You're the best Joker!" She laughed and kissed his cheek, then headed back to the elevator.

Joker smiled as she walked back to the CIC with happiness in every step. She really did deserve to be happy.

.0.

Samantha walked out of the shower and to her closet and slipped on a black t-shirt and black shorts and got Blasto ready on her holo projector. When everything was ready she called to EDI, "Hey EDI, could you tell Garrus to come up here please."

"Right away Shepard."

She knew it would take a few minutes for him to come here so she went to her terminal to check the messages she had received last night. She had three, one from her mother, one from the Illusive Man with the dossiers, and one from…Kaidan. She felt the blood drain from her face. Did she dare open the message from Kaidan?

Just then Garrus walked in. He looked at her and her shocked face and immediately went over and asked concerned, "What's wrong Sam?" He looked to her terminal and saw why she looked like she has seen a ghost. It was from Kaidan. He looked back to her. "Do you want to open this Sam?" Samantha recovered from her shock and looked back to Garrus. Did she want to open it? To feel pain again? Or did she want to move on, forget him?

She looked back to the screen. Garrus saw her deciding what to do. No matter how much I hate him…she might still love him, and if she's happy…I will be too. He thought sadly as he took her hand and moved it to open the message, "Sam, open it. I will be right here beside you, OK?" She nodded and clicked for the message to open.

Sam, I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I mean I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time for me to get over the guilt of surviving, and to move on. I finally let my friends talk me into getting some drinks with a doctor on the Citadel, nothing serious. Just to let myself have a life again, you know. And then…I saw you…and then…everything just pulled hard to port. I mean you were standing in front of me, but with Cerberus. I guess I don't know who either of us is anymore. Do you remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me, and maybe just as much to you, but a lot has changed in two years. And I just can't put that aside, but please be careful. I've watched to many people close to me die, on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, and…on the Normandy. I can't bear to lose you again. I mean if you are still the women I remember, I know that you are going to find a way to stop the collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted! Watch yourself. Look, when things settle down…maybe…I don't know…Just take care.

-Kaidan

You don't know?! Samantha thought angrily. She looked to Garrus who was still looking at her terminal. Soon enough he looked at her and asked quietly, "Do you still want to be with him Sam, after all this?"

She looked at him, her eyes searching his. "It was just like you said Garrus, if he loved me he wouldn't care what symbol was on my armor. I want to move on, he has his doctor an-"She was cut off by Garrus pulling her to him and kissing her. Her eyes fluttered shut as he ran his hands along her back. She pulled away to breathe and heard a disappointed growl coming from Garrus. Her cheeks flushed red and took Garrus' hand, leading him to the couch. "Thought this would be cozier." She said smiling. Garrus gave her a turian grin. "I highly doubt that we will be paying attention to the vid." Her cheeks turned a deeper red and he just chuckled while putting his arms around her, pulling her closer to him as the movie started. "I heard what you said in the mess, you know." He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "I'm glad you did Sam."

AN: I am really enjoying writing this and even though it not a lot, thanks for the favs., follows, and reviews. Not much else to say, so you you guys!

-LadyAssassin

I DO NOT OWN MASS EFFECT! BIOWARE DOES!

R&R