A/N: I've decided to try to write longer chapters. As of right now, I might not be able to update daily anymore. We'll see!

The glass of water I was just holding fell on the wooden floor, shattering into hundreds of small pieces. Haymitch whips hs head around to face me. "Well hello there, Sweetheart. For someone who can hunt so well, I wouldn't expect you to be such a klutz."

I ignore the backhanded compliment. Stepping over the broken glass, I sit down next to him. "Why are you watching Finnick's Games?" I ask him. I've seen his Games before, but I was very young. I remember being scared by the pure look of murder on Finnick's face as he ruthlessly killed his opponents.

"Why so nosy?" Haymitch asks, taking a long swig from his flask. "If you really want to know, I got sick of replaying mine. Someone else's Games are less painful to watch. You remember how I told you that mentoring is... taxing?" I nod, signaling for him to continue, "well watching your tributes die year, after year, after year is kind of... depressing. I've killed 47 tributes. And had to go back to face their families."

I had never really thought of why Haymitch drank - I just assumed he did because he felt like it, and it caught on. To my knowledge Haymitch didn't have any family left. I wasn't quite sure why though. Either old age or Snow. "What was so bad about your Games- besides the fact that the were the Games?" I ask him. Haymitch was in the 50th Hunger Games, 8 years before I was born.

Haymitch ran his hand through his dirty hair. "Sit back Sweetheart, this is gonna be a long story. Well I was in the second Quarter Quell. The special thing they did for the Quell was have 4 tributes from each district. The Mayor's wife- her sister Maysilee was one of the people reaped, besides myself. She was a... friend of mine. We weren't too close, but still we were friends, I guess. I tried to lay low during the first few days. When there were only 20 people left, I ran into Maysilee. We decided to form an alliance, like you and the girl from 11."

I frown. "Her name was Rue."

Haymitch shrugs. "Alright, like you and Rue. Better?" He takes another sip from his flask. "Well we were walking and walking until we almost got to the edge of the arena. She got impatient and decided to go back. We mutually broke off the alliance and said our goodbyes. We wouldn't have been able to kill each other if it had come down to that. At the edge of the area was a cliff, that was really a gigantic forcefield. I would throw a rock off it, and it would bounce back. Anyways, I go to look for food, and I see that Maysilee had been attacked by mutts. I stayed with her while she died." I notice how Haymitch's voice faltered, and I realize it's the first time I've seen him be emotional.

"Like what I did with Rue."

"Exactly. Now fast-forward a few days, there's only me and this Career girl left. I'm running from her, holding my organs in with my hand." He lifts up his shirt and shows me a large vertical scar from his chest to his belly button. I cringe. "We're practically at the edge of the arena now, by the forcefield. She threw her axe at me, I ducked, and it hit her back in the head." He takes one more large sip from his flask, and burps loudly.

"Wow," is all I can say. "You didn't have to kill anyone."

"No, I did. I killed the girl from 9, both from 10 and the boy from 5. But that's not important. Obviously, Snow wasn't too happy with me winning by cheating, and it made the Capitol look bad, I guess you could say. A week after I got home, my parents, brother and girlfriend were all killed in front of the justice building as punishment." Haymitch sighs, "Then, Snow wanted to... sell me, but there was nobody left he could tempt to kill to make me do what he wanted."

I awkwardly pat Haymitch's shoulder, not knowing what to say to comfort him. "I'm so sorry."

He shrugs. "Whatever, sweetheart." Even though it must hurt, I can tell he's moved on - well as much as he really can. I know it's not a whatever.

"So, do you know anything about Annie Cresta?" I ask, changing the subject. What Finnick said earlier about he wanting to love her but feeling like it would be taking advantage of her really hit home for me. I think I loved Peeta, but he was too good for me. He only saw the best in me.

Haymitch nodded. "I know her a little. Annie's one of a kind. She's been through a lot of hell and still is strong. She shouldn't have won though."

"Why not?"

"The same reason Peeta didn't win. Nobody in the arena was crowned for their compassion. Him and Annie- deep down they're better than us."

My last breakfast on the train is quiet. Finnick munches on his toast. I sip hot chocolate. Haymitch drinks. "You should get ready." Finnick says, "We'll be in 12 in an hour." I put on my makeup and one of Cinna's outfits- a plain red skirt and black top. I look subtle, which is nice. Being the Girl on Firewas great for getting sponsors, but I didn't really want all of the attention. I like to blend in. I pin up my hair like I did the day of the reaping.

Finnick comes into our car. He says nothing, but kisses me on the cheek. "Be confident. They're excited to have you back."

"Shouldn't they hate me? I killed my district partner." My eyesight blurs as I tear up at the mention of Peeta.

"Not again." Haymitch sighs impatiently. "Just go out there and get it over with. Look happy. We'll help you get moved in after." I nod and the two boys leave the room.

Finnick sticks his head back in. "Oh and Katniss?" I raise my eyebrows. "Nobody knows about your dates." I realize that even though I'll be home, it won't be the same now. I just hope I'll be able to act normal.

I step out of the train, and there's a huge croud of people cheering for me. I smile and wave at them, to the best of my ability. I see Prim sitting on Gale's shoulders. She gives me a thumbs up and blows a kiss. Gale just nods. My mother smiles at me. I walk down the staircase on the side of the train platform, and shake hands with the mayor, Mr. Undersee. "It's good to have you back." Mr. Undersee smiles at me.

I run over to my sister Prim, who jumps into my arms. "I missed you, little duck." I murmur into her ear. "Come on, we have to move into our new house."

I take Prim's hand, and walk with her and my mother to our old home to get our stuff. My mother kisses my cheek. "I packed up everything, including your things. The only thing we have to do is carry it over. Gale said he wouldn't mind grabbing some boxes since the Hawthornes are moving in with us..."

"Mom." I cut her off. "Breathe. We have all the time in the world to bring the things over. And thank you." I would like to work on my relationship with her, so the first thing I need to do is forgive her. We don't have a lot of things to bring over- there's four boxes of all of our posessions, plus Lady, Buttercup and a large rolling cart filled with my mothers apothecary-related things. We gave our kitchen table and chairs to the Hawthornes. "I'll be right back, okay?" I need to talk to Gale.

Hazelle Hawthorne is a second mother to me. I walk up to her and hug her tightly. "I'm so glad you're alright." She gives me that smile- she knows something has changed within me, but is polite enough to not pry. I hug little Posy, Vick and Rory. I can't find Gale. "He's in his room." Hazelle tells me, knowing I was looking for him. She has that motherly instinct.

"Gale?" I ask tentatively, entering his room. He's sitting on his bed, staring out of the window. He turns around and stands up to hug me. I feel so much better being in his arms. I don't know long we just hold each other before I begin to cry softly.

He wipes my tears away with his thumb. "Hey there, Catnip. I told you I'd see you soon." He takes in my expression. The girl he knew as his hunting partner is not the girl in his arms right now. "We'll talk later. Let's get you settled in." We walk arm and arm to my house, where all of the boxes have been moved. "Wow. The Victor's Village it is, then." I can tell he doesn't like the idea of me living there.

"So," I ask him, "how did Prim take... everything?" Watching me almost die a few times couldn't have been the most pleasant experience.

"She didn't leave Rory's side the whole time," Gale laughs. He enters the house before me. Never before have I seen him looked this shocked. "What the hell?"

My mother is in the kitchen with Prim, making tea. That's normal. But in my living room are Haymitch, Johanna, and Finnick. Haymitch waves at me. I turn to Gale. "Gale, this my mentor, Haymitch, this is Johanna, and this is Finnick Odair."

"Who's your cousin? He's cute." Johanna smirks at me.

"This is Gale." I do a double-take. Johanna's supposed to be in District 7. "Wait, I thought you went home."

"I don't have a home." Johanna rolls her eyes.

Gale stomps his foot. "Alright someone needs to explain why they're all here."

Haymitch pours himself a glass of some type of liquor. "Sit down boy, I'll explain everything."

"Only some of it, Haymitch." Finnick adds quietly. "You know, the parts he needs to know." My mother and Prim are smart enough to excuse themselves- Prim and my mother go upstairs to unpack our clothing. We all have our own bedrooms now. There's six bedrooms- I'll be sleeping in the master bedroom, my mother in the second, Hazelle and Posy in the third, Gale in the forth, Prim in the fifth, and Vick and Rory in the sixth. Johanna is staying at Haymitch's. Finnick is sleeping on the couch, which really means with me if I need him to. Which I will.

Gale raises his eyebrows but sits down on the couch between Haymitch and Johanna. I sit on the love seat next to Finnick. "I deserve the truth." Gale says stubbornly.

"Let me." Finnick says, putting his arm around me. I put my head on his shoulder. Gale looks at us weirdly. I shake my head at him, nothing's going on between us. He doesn't look too convinced. Finnick sighs, continuing. "Winning the games is... even worse than losing."

"How so?" Gale asks. I can tell from the edge in his voice that he doesn't trust Finnick.

"Nightmares." Me and Haymitch say at the same time.

"That's not just it." Johanna adds. "You have death on your hands. And Everdeen over here has a conscience. Also you were in the Hunger Games, for god's sake."

"But for some Victors, they have duties in the Capitol after their games. No offense, but 12 isn't the most popular district, so Katniss has to spend two months in the Capitol." Finnick sugar-coats.

"Mentors don't just try to get sponsors during the games. They have to make acquaintances year-round. Whoever is gonna have to go in next year is gonna need as much help as they can get. Especially because it's going to be a Quell. I have to mentor, so it's my job to help them." I lie.

Gale looks at me strangely. I can't read him. "Why do you care? You never used to care about the Capitol. Or any of this stuff. The Katniss I know would never make out with that kid in a cave. And we both know what you've said about him." Gale pointed to Finnick. Gale and I were never too fond of Finnick, because we thought he would go into the capitol for the sake of going through all of the Capitol women. "When did we start keeping secrets from each other?"

"Well what I had said was wrong. People make judgements." I defend myself. I realize what had happened between me and Gale was that I changed. "I'm only trying to protect you." I whisper.

"I think I know what's going on here." Johanna steps in. "You like her. And you were jealous of whats-his-face. Peeta. Whatever. You thought that when she came back, you two could get together, and you think she chose Finnick. You're totally wrong. You. Are. Wrong. If you could open your eyes for a minute and see that Katniss is saving your god-damn life-"

She cuts herself off. "I've said too much, haven't I?"

Haymitch shakes his head. "No, you've said just enough."

Gale stands up. "Well you know what Katniss? I don't care. You can go be with Slut Odair. It doesn't matter to me." He slams the door as he storms off. I sigh, defeated.

"Not a slut. A whore. There's a difference," Finnick mutters.

Prim tiptoes out from under the table. I didn't even know she was downstairs. "I've never seen Gale like that," she sounds astonished. "I don't know what's going on, but I know that you're trying you're best Katniss. I love you, okay?" The three mentors are floored that this is coming out of a 12-year-old. I stand up and give Prim a hug.

"I love you too." I say, smiling. She's too wise for her years.

"Why don't you all go to Haymitch's house and help your friends settle in?" Prim suggests. I can tell that she knows I feel too numb to be around family.

Haymitch opens a new bottle of liquor. It's Johanna's favorite, vodka. They mix it with other drinks. Haymitch makes me one. "Trust me, sweetheart. It'll help." It burns my throat, like last time. But I like it. Three drinks later, I've forgotten about Gale being a jerk, and all of the hurt and everything else. The alcohol provides a different numbness. I feel numb, but I also feel bubbly. Almost happy. Haymitch is rambling about on about some conspiracy in the Capitol but nobody's really listening. I go to stand up and get another drink, but I fall flat on my face.

"Finnick? Where's Finnick?" I ask, drunk and confused. He's right behind me. "Let's go home, Finnick." It's eight o'clock, but it feels so much later. He helps me up, but I can't walk two feet without stumbling. He sighs, saying good night to Johanna and Haymitch, and picks me up bridal-style, walking me over to my house next door in the village.

All of the Hawthornes, Prim and my mother are at the table talking about something. Gale included. They all turn around and stare at me and Finnick. I start to giggle.

"Um. Miss Everdeen." Finnick says to my mother. He looks around awkwardly. "I think she needs to get some rest." He puts me down in one of the living room chairs.

"Who are you and what did you do to my daughter?" My mother stands up, way too defending.

"Katniss was with me, Johanna and Haymitch at his house. I took her back here so she can go to sleep. She's a little... over-tired," Finnick explains.

"He's the Finnick Odair. From District 4." Rory whispers, amazed at the celebrity in the same room as him.

Hazelle smiles kindly at Finnick. "It's nice to meet you, Finnick." She turns to my mother. "He doesn't mean any harm."

Gale stands up. "The hell he does. He has a thing for Katniss."

I manage to sit up for a minute. "Nohedoesn't," I slur, leaning back on the couch, very tired and very drunk.

Finnick sighs, talking to my mother, "Your daughter is beautiful, but the only feelings I have for her are of a friendly nature. Not a romantic one. Now if you'll excuse me." He goes over to me, and picks me up. He brings me up the staircase, changes me into a nightshirt, and tucks me in. "I'll be down the hallway."

I'm able to sleep for a few hours, but I'm woken up to sound of my own screams. A minute later, my mother, Prim, Gale and Finnick are all in my room. "What happened?" Gale asks. I'm startled and on the verge of breaking down.

"Nightmare." Finnick responds for me, handing me a glass of tea. My hands are shaking. The three other people in the room are confused. He sits down on the edge of my bed. "It's a victor thing. You have to remember she endured what you watched, and she couldn't turn it off. Tracker jacker stings, dehydration and starvation, the death of the girl from 11, almost dying multiple times, and killing 3 people. Plus some other things." My mother nods, going back to bed and Prim goes with her, but Gale just leans on the door frame as Finnick tries to calm me down.

I climb out of bed and lay on Finnick's lap. He twirls with a strand of my hair. "It was about that blond Capitol woman. She threw a knife at her husband... because of... you know. And then turned into Clove, who turned into a mutt and killed me." I start sobbing. "I'm a terrible person."

Finnick shakes his head. "It was just a dream. She won't find out. And if she does, she'll play dumb, trust me. I know Capitol women. And no, you're not a terrible person. You're trying to protect your family."

Gale walks towards me. I had forgotten he was even in the room. "Katniss, what are you even talking about?"

I try to look at the situation through Gale's eyes. He's totally in the dark. "I can't tell him anything, can I?" I ask Finnick.

He shakes his head. "That would defeat the whole purpose of doing all of that to keep him alive."

I shrug, unsure what to do. "Just go to sleep Gale. We can talk in the morning."

No, we can't.

A/N: Wow. that took a while to write. Did you like it? I'm not a huge fan of Katniss/Gale, but I think their friendship is very interesting.
Again, reviews = sugar cubes from Finnick.