Chapter 25- Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a powerful tool; it has the ability to relinquish feelings of guilt built up inside of a person in an instant. To forgive someone is perhaps the most precious gift that can be given, especially when the crime cuts so deep. It takes so much strength to truly let go of the resentment and hurt which lies in your heart, strength that unfortunately, not many possess.

No matter what happens in between there can only really be to two outcomes to an event which requires forgiveness. Either you find away to move forward and let go of the past, or you find it impossible to do so and the only option left is for both parties to just go their separate ways.

Permanently.

Forgiveness comes from the heart; you can't control it with logical thinking anymore than you can control water flowing out of a broken dam. It's a feeling that your heart holds, deep inside and try as you might to force it upon yourself, if your heart decides it can't forgive, then it can't forgive. That works both ways however and sometimes you find forgiveness comes at a most unexpected time, even if it has been the furthest thing from your mind.

You never quite know which way things are going to go, what you can be sure of though is that what ever the inevitable ending, the relationship and people involved will never be the same again.

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March 28th 10.42pm

"John Dorian?" A voice called out from the door way of the relatives' room in the Far East wing, causing the young Doctor to look up and take a deep breathe as he headed towards the man in the white coat. It had been hours since Sammy had been taken down to theatre, at least two more than a regular kidney transplant would take. When JD had last seen his little boy the sun hadn't even started to set, yet now it was pitch black outside with only the stars and street lamps lighting the pathway in and out of the hospital.

To say the young man was rather on edge was the understatement of the century, at first he's just sat there, tapping his foot, then, when Perry told him to knock it off, he began pacing. The pacing soon turned into knuckle cracking, clock watching and phone checking, before he collapsed in the chair exhausted and that was only an hour into the operation.

For the last few he had just sat there, staring at the four walls while his mentor, who surprisingly hadn't left his side since Sammy was taken away, tried to reassure him it wasn't necessarily a bad thing that they hadn't finished yet.

The waiting had left the Doctor plenty of time to think, his mind had briefly been filled with thoughts of Turk and Carla and even Elliot but they were replaced pretty quickly with what kind of colour he should decorate the bathroom. He wasn't even near ready enough to think about his friends, let alone contemplate everything that had happened between them. The one thing he had decided on though, was that no room in his house would ever be white.

While the creator of the family room probably thought sitting in a white area with a clock on the wall while someone you love gets cut open was a good idea, in practice it couldn't make you feel any more adjitated. It was like being trapped in a very bright, bleached smelling box with the constant torture of a ticking clock as you waited for you turn to be released back into the wild. Needless to say, he wasn't having anything like this in a place where he and hopefully Sammy would eventually live. Neither of them needed the constant reminder of uncertainty.

"Yes?" JD replied simply as he followed the man in to the corridor, followed shortly by Dr Cox. They both stood there and studied the newcomer carefully, trying to work out whether it was good or bad news he was about to deliver.

As a doctor you got to know the signs pretty well: if it was bad news, they tended to have this darkened blaze around them, as they geared themselves up to tell the soon to be devastated family, a look of solemn and hesitation already on their faces. If it was good news however, the surgeon would almost seem to bounce on the spot, a small smile already playing on their lips as they clutched the clip board in anticipation. This man however was showing no signs of either, instead he seemed to be studying JD just as hard through his darkened, overly long eyelashes and floppy brown locks.

"Hi, I'm Dr Barry Reid, paediatric specialist of Merseyside hospital. I was called up here to help with your son's case." He said after a moment or two, a soft smile on his face as he tilted his head to the side and knocked the hair from his face, holding his hand out to shake the hand of either of the two men in front of him.

"Reid?" JD instantly repeated, raising an eyebrow in confusion as he glanced down at the man's ID tag whilst returning the gesture and clasping the man's hand in his own.

"Yes … anyway your son has just been taken down to recovery, you'll be pleased to know the operation went well and so far, he's shown no signs of rejection, the kidneys the perfect match. Obviously the next 48 hours are critical but his stats are good and we'll be carefully monitoring his urine output to ensure there are no signs of infection." The man replied with a smile as he reached forward and gave JD a pat on the shoulder.

"That's, that's great news… thank you." The thirty year old almost gasped out as he tried to hold back the massive grin that was threatening to break out on his face as tears welled up in his eyes. He knew there was nothing wrong with being happy, but he wasn't sure who exactly the Donor's parents were and didn't want to over do it by jumping in the air with glee, when someone around him was probably grieving for the child they had lost.

"Not a problem, he's a little fighter that lad, which actually brings me on nicely as to why I am here." Barry continued, straightening himself up as he took a few steps over to the seats on the outskirts of the corridor and gestured for the young father to do the same and then sit down. "As I said I'm a paediatric specialist in Merseyside hospital, which resides in New York. My sister, I believe you know her? Elliot?" He paused and waited for JD to nod in confirmation before continuing, ignoring the confused look which was becoming deeper and deeper imbedded into his face. "Well she rang me and explained about your son's condition and asked if I could help. Now after looking over his notes I did a few additional reaction tests and blood work after the surgery and I think I may have a friend who will be able to help him."

"Oh?" JD spluttered, unsure of what was going on or the direction the conversation was going in. He tried to resist the urge to start shouting out 20 questions, like who was he, how could he help Sammy, did this mean he had a higher chance of survival, where did he go to college, would he be able to see his degree before he let him get his hands anywhere near his son?

"His name is Dr Dickenson and he's good, very good in fact. He specialises in the rehabilitation of infants who have developed problems because of trauma, such as the damage to your son's legs. The tests I carried out were to see if he still feels sensations down there and how much stimulus was needed in order to generate that response. Lucky for him, while the premature birth and difficulties that have developed because of that, have caused problems, the nerves were properly developed in gestation. Now Dr Dickenson works on quite a back list of patients but he's a good friend of mine and he has agreed to take Sammy on as soon as he's strong enough to take part in the therapy. Now don't get me wrong, there is no guarantee that this will enable him to walk un-aided but the sooner the therapy- which works though massage, movement and stimulation- starts, the better chance he will have of developing that core strength and control." Barry continued, before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card and handed it to the stunned younger man. "He is based in New York and you would have to go to him, but he is the best in the country and I'm telling you, no one can give your son a better chance at leading a relatively normal life than this man can."

JD just sat in a sort of stunned silence as Barry's speech drew to a close. His attention drifting to the small card that was now in his hand and the writing scrawled on the back. He didn't know what to think or even how to actually feel. Completely confused and slightly overwhelmed he glanced from the Doctor in front of him, over to Dr Cox who had remained by the waiting room, listening but not interrupting.

"I don't understand…" He eventually mumbled softly, as he creased his brow even more and looked into the eyes of the man who was looking more and more like Elliot by the second. "Sammy's sick, he can't, he can't travel, he…"

"Is doing just fine" The man interrupted with a soft chuckle, before clicking his fingers at a young nurse, who was waiting further down the corridor. She instantly retrieve a chart from behind her back and hurried towards them and handing it other. "I said his stats were good?" Barry added, as he opened the chart up and placed it down on his lap, once again waiting for JD to confirm this before he continued. "Well his stats are actually very good… better than what they were in fact. It seems, while Sammy's body is weak and it is going to take some time for him to build the strength up that other newborns that aren't premature have, the main problem was his kidneyS. See after we took the first one out, we noticed a rather strange shape to the second that the scan clearly didn't pick up on; now after cutting into it, we discovered that actually it had a small hole on the inside, which was just about big enough for blood to seep though. Now that blood was forming a lovely little clot around it that was then causing a blockage and preventing the system from functioning properly. After a bit of patch work using some tissue from the other kidney, we were then able to remove the clot. Almost as soon as this happened the colour picked up immediately. Now his original kidney wasn't strong enough to function on its own, but after receiving the donor kidney as well, the two of them are working as a proper little tag team." Barry said in a sing song kind if voice, swaying side to side slightly as he imagined urine doing a little dance between the two organs.

"Okay…" JD mumbled his confusion multiplying, something that the man would later put down to being overly exhausted and being on one hell of an emotional rollercoaster for the past few weeks.

"In other words" Barry said with a laugh as he turned the chart over and allowed JD to read the vital information printed on the front. "Barring no other complications and naturally giving him a few weeks to build his strength up, he should be able to get out of here in no time. The kidneys were what was making him so vulnerable, remove one, fix the other and give him someone else's and hey presto, we have one, probably about 80% give or take, almost healthy baby."

If JD had have been holding the chart he was reading, he would probably have dropped it as his eyes shot up from it and his jaw dropped, within seconds Dr Cox was by his side, clamping his hand on the mans shoulder, as if to snap him out of a trance and stop him collapsing there and then. Soon enough words like "That's great news" we're being thrown the air but JD could barely register them, as he tried to take in what had just been said. As if sensing this, Barry spoke up once again.

"Sammy is going to be fine! Not perfect, he's still got a fight for those legs, he will have to be on anti rejections and we'll obviously have to monitor his heart but otherwise, he will be as healthy as he can get." He clarified; as he watched the young man's facial expressions go from shock, to happiness, to fear, to relief to something else. Every emotion he could have possibly be feeling was swarming though him like a bee on a mission to find a honey tree.

"He's going to be okay?" JD said softly his voice breaking as he almost choked on the words, his breathing becoming quite uneven.

"I would say so; you wouldn't believe the difference that operations just made to him. Everything's perked up. As I said he's gunna have to stay in hospital a while yet as he's not quite strong enough to be without medical care and we need to ensure he doesn't decide to reject that kidney, but I'd start decorating that nursery if I was you." Barry said with a smile as he made to get up and handed the chart back to the nurse.

"Thank you!" JD stuttered out as he jumped to his feet, his eyes wide as he took a few deep breathes to try and get his feelings under control in order to try and think, and perhaps speak logically. His eyes wondered from Barry's over to Dr Cox's once again, who could only smile down encouragingly at the man he could no longer deny was a friend.

"You don't have to thank me, I'd do anything for my little sister and she'd apparently do anything for you." Barry said softly as he placed his hands in his lab coat pockets. "Before I descend, Elliot wanted me to ask would it be okay if she came to talk to you tomorrow. She knows she's screwed up and you probably don't want to talk to her, but she wants you to know that if you do want to see her, she will be here. She would have come today but knew you would be struggling enough as it is and didn't want to add to your stress… So can I tell her yes?"

For a moment, JD didn't so much as react, his eyes darkening over, but before he could stop himself, he was nodding vigorously, the life line card still grasped tightly in his hand as he tried to steady his breathing and stop the tears of fear and joy from escaping his eyes.

"Yes."

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Sometimes people do bad things, things that can't possibly be forgiven, sometimes people turn their backs when you need them most. But, sometimes people manage to make up for them and do something so unbelievable that the ill feelings you felt towards them just melt away.

Because really how could you be mad at someone who indirectly just gave your son the best shot at life that he could get.

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(A/N) peek a boo! Still writting! Just slowly! Hope everyone had a fab christmas and a happy new year! Hope you all liked the chapter too, wasnt where i was planning on going when i started this but think it worked.

Is there anything people would like to see happen, resolved, brought up over the next few chapters?