A.N. OK! For everyone who has been reading this, chapters 1-7 have been re-vamped. I am at the end of planning the story and decided to add something in to the earlier chapters, so it would be a good idea to check out at least ch 1 and ch 4 at least.
For everyone else...Enjoy!
There is still no beta for this fic. Anyone wanna beta for me? Anyway, forgive any mistakes I didn't catch.
Disclaimer: I am not JKR. Nope. Everything that's not hers is mine.
Chapter Eleven
Draco stared up at the web woven between the posts of the bed. The sunlight reflected off of the crystals and colored beads creating a show of lights on the ceiling that was dancing around the shadows of the dream catcher fibers. He felt numb. All of his memories of the past six years seemed like a nightmare that he couldn't wake up from. He wished they had never come back. The nagging feeling of something missing was a million times better than knowing what he had been forced to do. Now he truly understood what his father had gone through when he was released from Bellatrix's Imperius. Even though he knew his father hadn't meant to torture him, he had always kept a bit of hatred for the man. But now, he felt he could truly let it go once and for all.
He only hoped that when the time came, his father would be able to forgive him as well. Just thinking of his mother had him choking back tears. He had never been able to mourn his mother's death and now he felt like he didn't have the right. He was about to give into his misery when he heard the door to his room crack open. He thanked all the powers he could think of for Granger's interruption. The hurt was becoming too much to allow himself to feel anymore.
Draco tried to pull his sore body up against the headboard and found himself still frustratingly weak. He suppressed a groan as pain ripped through his back and ribs as he tried to sit up. Hermione rushed over to him and supported his back enough for him to move, albeit slowly, back resting on a neat stack of pillows.
Once he was settled, she sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, facing him. The bed was large enough that there was still a foot of space between the two of them.
"How are you feeling? Is there anything hurting?"
He didn't know what to make of her. After everything he had done to her, she should hate him. Hell, he hated himself at the moment.
"We were friends once, Draco. I saw everything and I know that you didn't want to do any of those vile things."
Draco snorted derisively and turned away from her.
"You know, I really hated you growing up. I blamed you for what my aunt made Father do to me for all those years." He expected her to blow up and get defensive. After all, he was the one that decided to continue their secret friendship in first year even though he knew he would likely be punished. He just hadn't counted on it coming from the hands of his father.
She shook her head slowly, a sad expression on her face.
"And I hated you too. I couldn't understand why you hated me so much. Neither of us are completely innocent. We both said cruel things. But you were a just a child, Draco. We were children thrust into the middle of a war that we barely understood and somehow managed to find ourselves at the very front. I'm sorry for what our friendship cost you."
"No. After the war was over I had a lot of time to think. I let go of that ages ago. I know it wasn't your fault and never truly blamed you. When Bellatrix was torturing you…" he paused and shuddered. He saw Hermione do the same and grasp her branded forearm.
"When she did that to you I wanted so badly to set you free. I didn't care about your blood status. Your blood is as red as mine and I never wanted to see it or hear your screams ever again." His mind floated back to that not so long ago time when he had done much worse to her. He squeezed his eyes shut at the sudden wave of self-loathing. He had hoped that when Potter defeated Voldemort that he could finally become the good man he knew he could have been. Right now that goal felt further away than it ever was.
Draco's eyes snapped open when he felt a tentative hand on his own. He hadn't even realized he had balled his hands into fists until they began to relax under her touch.
"Draco, I don't hold that against you either," she said softly.
His heart skipped a beat and a small bead of warmth settled in his cold chest.
"You would forgive me," he asked in a small voice. "You don't hate me?"
"There isn't anything to forgive. You have to let that go as well. That part, that constructed part of you is dead. I killed him and that's what I think gave your memories back. That Malfoy isn't a part of you any longer. I hated him, not you, and you should do the same. You are not responsible for any of this."
Draco felt his eyes sting with the beginning of tears, but swallowed them back and turned away from her. He'd had enough of feeling weak. She was right. It wouldn't do a spot of good to be angry with himself. He had just been used, another casualty to a bloody war he never wanted a part in, and he would be damned if he let this crush him.
He turned back to her and saw her eyes widen slightly at his sudden movement.
"Hermione," he said firmly. "I want to help you."
For a couple of moments her mouth worked open and closed like a suffocating fish.
"Are you sure? Your injuries, they…"
"I'll do whatever it takes. Those blody bastards are going to pay for what they did to me and my family. My mother…She never believed in the war in the first place. She didn't deserve to die. Bellatrix," he spat scornfully, "will pay for what she did to her, to her own bloody sister! Will you help me train?"
Hermione seemed even more shocked by his request.
"Draco, we both need to recover a bit more before we start even thinking about training," she said warily, a ghost of a smile on her lips. Draco's determination faded a bit as guilt started to creep it's way back in.
"Stop. I'm not hurt from what you did. When you set me free from the dungeons, you healed all of my injuries."
"Then why do you need to heal," he challenged and watched as her grin grew into a smirk.
"Let's just say Malfoy packed quite the punch. But luckily for us, I've still got it." She twirled his wand proudly, her eyes sparkling with mischief, and Draco chuckled at her antics. He knew just how skillful he had been and he was thankful she referred to that part of him separately. It helped him put things into perspective.
"So how long before I can start training? And you do know I will need my wand. Where is yours?"
Hermione lowered his wand and lowered her eyes to her lap.
"It should take you another week to be able to walk around for any great period of time and another week to start working up to training. So about two weeks really."
"And the wand?"
"Snapped," she said so quietly he almost didn't catch it.
"Snapped?"
"Yes, Draco, snapped! Death Eaters snapped my wand before they took me to the dungeon. I felt it break like they cut off a part of me. I will have to figure out how to get another later and you will get yours when you are ready to train. I won't have you practicing before you are completely healed."
Draco winced. There was nothing worse than losing a wand to a wizard. Even though she claimed that nothing was his fault, he felt that being without his wand at the moment was just penance for now.
"Well," he grinned as if the mood hadn't just taken a severe nose dive. "It's a good thing I can do wandless magic!"
He snapped his fingers and all other furniture in the room except for the bed hovered about a foot into the air before settling back soundlessly. Hermione laughed in spite of herself.
"I'm glad to see that you're still a show off."
They both grinned at each other until Hermione's faltered for a second.
"Draco," she said, serious once again. "Do you remember much about your plans and attacks from when you were the Dark Lord?" Draco's smile fell as well.
"I remember everything and I can give you more than that."
"That's perfect," she bounced a bit. "That's brilliant, Draco! If we can give that information to Harry then he could…." Hermione trailed off when she caught the look on his face. "Come on, you really need to forget your crap with Harry. I've been talking to him and he's on our side."
"Wait. You've been talking to him? How? You can't send or receive owls here. No one can come or leave either. How are you talking to him? If one of the wards are down they can find us!" Draco started to sit up, his heart racing, and ignored the pain blossoming in his chest and ribs.
Hermione reached over and pushed him impatiently back against the pillows.
"Would you relax? Don't strain yourself. The wards of insanity are still perfectly in tact. You have absolutely crazy wards by the way and they are absolutely bloody infuriating!" She gave him a pained look and dragged a hand through her still very curly locks.
"Anyway," she huffed, "I found a spell in your library, which is just as crazy large as your wards are insufferable, that allows me to enter people's dreams. That's one of the reasons for the dreamcatcher above you."
Draco didn't need to ask what the other reasons were having had more than his fair share of rough nights. He relaxed knowing that all of his precautions were still in place.
"So he knows everything then," he said wearily. "How did he take it?"
"At first, well you know Harry. It's a very good thing that he wasn't able to track you down. Let's just leave it at that. But he understands now, like I do. He doesn't trust you completely yet, but he agreed with me that you deserve to be protected and are not responsible for everything that happened these last six years."
"Do you trust me, Hermione?"
"I don't know yet. Let me see who you really are without the pressure of your family or the influence of that spell and we'll go from there. I will tell you that I trusted the boy I befriended first year."
Draco studied his hands in his lap. He didn't really know why he cared all that much about having her trust.
"It's okay, Granger. I'm not even sure what kind of person I am underneath all of that. And frankly, I'm afraid that man is gone."
Hermione stretched a tentative hand to his again and squeezed lightly before puling away.
"Well, speaking of wards," she said cheerily ignoring Draco's eye roll at her mood switch. "You said there was no going in or out, but can you work it to where we can receive visitors? Please?"
"Unfortunately it will be just you and me for a while. A long time ago, I set up a ward that would not let anyone come or go if it detected that I was injured. We're stuck here alone until I'm well."
Hermione scoffed and looked at him like she knew exactly where he was in proximity to his rocker, and he wasn't on it.
"And how in the world do the wards know when you are better? And how much better do you have to be for them to deem you well?"
"Well, that's another downside really considering my current condition. You have to be at the same level of health as when you first set the wards. The problem is that I was in very good shape when I had this place built. It's already keyed to me, so I'm already being monitored. We will feel the wards shift when I am back to normal." Draco surprised another chuckle when she began muttering to herself about pompous Purebloods and their outrageous security systems.
"Oh stop being a drama queen, Granger. It won't take me that long to recover." He really did laugh when she glared at him through her cinnamon colored lashes.
"Really, Hermione. Two weeks are not that long to wait."
"It will only be two weeks if I shove potions down your throat three times a day, you insufferable git!"
"Oh, that's one I've never heard before," Draco said with a raised eyebrow. "I'll have to add that very original insult to my list of attributes."
Hermione rolled her eyes heavenward.
"Well I see there isn't much damage to that ego of yours."
"Of course not. I've got that part on lock down. But really, I'm feeling better already. I'm sure it will only be a matter of days before we can begin training."
"Hello! Earth to Malfoy. Healer here," she said pointing at her chest. "You may feel better after a few days, but you are going to be weaker after how long you've been in bed."
"Ah, but you're only a Professor of the Healing Arts."
The glare she sent his way was beyond frigid and he raised his hands in surrender.
"Ok, alright simmer down. I was only joking. I'm sure you're quite talented."
This time Hermione slapped him on one of the larger bruises on his leg, her face smug and chin held high.
"Ouch! Jeez, I thought you were a healer! That was cruel!"
"Oh suck it up you bit baby. Honestly, you call me the dramatic one. And I'll have you know that you would be in much worse shape if it were not for my 'talents.'"
Draco immediately simmered down and his smile faded.
"I know," he said softly. "And you have my gratitude. It was more than I deserved."
Hermione looked decidedly uncomfortable for a moment before she perked pack up.
"Well if you're going to get any better, we'd might as well start now with your recovery program."
Draco's face lit up.
"Are you going to let me get up?"
"Nope," Hermione said, pure mischief shining in her eyes. "I'm going to give you as many foul tasting healing potions as I can find and put you to sleep. The more you rest, the faster you will heal."
She finished with a wink and burst into laugher when she saw the scowl on the poor man's face. He had always been a pathetic patient during their school days, so she might as well get some entertainment out of teasing him as much as possible.
"You really have grown to be quite ruthless, Granger."
Hermione merely flipped her waist length curls over her shoulder and grinned.
"Oh, don't worry. I'll be sure to give you plenty of chocolate before you pass out to clear the taste."
Teaching alongside Madam Pomphrey had rubbed off on her for sure. Draco's soft chuckling followed her out of the room.
Two days later, things seemed to take a step or three backwards. After their last conversation, an air of awkwardness seemed to settle over them. Neither knew what to say to the other, so they fell into an uncomfortable, silent routine. Three times a day Hermione brought him a meal with a side of "let's see how many disgusting substances Draco can swallow without gagging." The only benefit was that she always fulfilled her promise of bringing him chocolate and her cooking was always excellent. He was eternally grateful that he had thought to have the house elves from the Manor automatically stock the shelves any time he was there. And who would have thought that the feminist wonder would know how to cook so well? He knew if he ever said that out loud he would be in for the beat down of the century, so he kept that to his very amused self.
She never stayed and ate with him, just coming in with food and medicine and coming back later to collect the mess, always leaving the faint smell of ink, parchment, and roses in her wake. He had no idea what she was working on, but it was clear she spent most of her time in his library considering the ink stains that always graced her fingertips.
Everything passed by so slowly to Draco and their routine added to the monotony. However, on the third night something was different. When Hermione came back to collect his dinner tray, she hovered a little bit before giving him his next lovely dosage of potions. Draco opened his mouth to speak, uncomfortable as she shifted her weight from foot to foot, but she beat him to it.
"Would you like to get some exercise tonight? I've been monitoring your progress and it should be okay for you to get out of bed and walk around for a little bit. And I'm sure you're tired of seeing the inside of this room."
"Yes! I have been waiting for days for those beautiful words! Sweet freedom!"
Hermione laughed at his dramatics before kicking open the door, tray occupying her hands.
"Ok, then when I get back we'll take a walk around."
Draco didn't want to wait. He felt positively bounding with energy, like he could run ten miles without stopping. He was beyond tired of being in bed and was ready to feel like a regular human being. Pushing himself into a sitting position, he decided to get a head start and tried to use the post of the bed as leverage to get out of bed. And that was how Hermione found him.
"Draco, what are you doing," she asked exasperated as she rushed to his side. He grinned at her obvious display of concern about his well-being.
"You do know that I manage to make it way over there to the toilet and back without your help all the time, yes?"
Hermione blushed, but recovered quickly and put her hands on her hips.
"Well, we'll see just how far you can get today. More than likely you're going to need my help, so just go ahead and get aquainted with the idea. Are you always this stubborn?"
"Only on days that end with 'y,' dear nursemaid."
Hermione rolled her eyes and gestured grandly towards the door. She stayed no more than an arm's length away from him and watched as he tried to draw himself up and walk with his usual grace. To say that she was tempted to laugh would be a gross understatement, but she was mindful enough of his pride to keep silent.
When they got to the hallway she led him further away from the staircase to one of the spare bedrooms. She let him open the door and had to cover her mouth as she snickered when he froze just inside the door.
"Hermione, I know that up until yesterday my memory was faulty, but I am almost one-hundred percent sure that this room was never like this before."
"Of course not. This was just one of the many unnecccesary guest rooms in your secret hideout. You wanted to train, so I just provided the space and equipment."
She gave him a small shove, propelling him into the room that she had spent a good portion of the past three days constructing. When she wasn't holed up with her research or working on repairing Draco's master suite, she was busy expanding the room and adding the standard length running track that lined the room. In the middle was a dueling space and all of the work out machines she could think of transfiguring.
"Be prepared to spend a lot of time in here, Draco. I'm ready to see the face of another human being. Between being trapped in a cell and trapped in your house, the only person I've seen is you."
"Don't even act like you don't enjoy this face, Granger. And what about me? It isn't as if I've had secret visitors while you've been making a permanent home in my library."
"Oh yes! Do you even like people other than yourself?"
Draco scoffed loudly and nudged her shoulder as they started walking.
"I'll have you know that I am a very social person and I had a lot of friends back in school, thank you very much."
"Lackeys, Draco, do not constitute friends. Between Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy you were probably bored to tears and desperately trying to keep your brain from rotting from their mindless drivel."
"You know, I did have other friends. Real friends. Granted most of it was based off of self-preservation, but they were friends none the less."
"Ha! Name three!"
Hermione stuck her chin up haughtily and Draco matched her look for look as he ticked off on his fingers.
"Theo Nott, Daphne Greengrass, and Blaise Zabini."
"Really," she asked, head cocked to the side and eyes slightly narrowed. Not for the first time did she remind him of a bird.
"Yes, Hermione. Now stop mocking my social life. We were all quite close until sixth year."
Draco began to stumble as they rounded up their first lap. Hermione pulled one of his arms over her shoulders. He made no protests as she wrapped her arm around his waist and helped support his weight. If he wanted to keep going and he knew he could only do that with her help. Neither spoke for a while as they continued to walk.
About halfway through the second lap, Draco's knees nearly gave out and Hermione had to support most of his weight to keep him from falling. She might have been strong, but he was a good head and a half taller than her and a good deal more broad. He heard her suck in air through her teeth as she tried to steady him, but she didn't complain about the obvious pain.
"Hermione," he said a little sternly trying to catch her eyes. "Are you ok?"
"I'm fine," she said with a small smile. "I got a little banged up in my fight with…him…and my ribs are giving me a bit of trouble still."
Draco jerked them both to a stop.
"You're still healing? Are you crazy? What are you doing helping me?"
Hermione nudged him impatiently, but he refused to budge.
"Honestly, Draco. They are healed for the most part. They were just hit with a dark spell, so they are healing more slowly. My ribs will be tender for a good bit of time. Besides, I need this exercise just as much as you do."
Draco gave her another look of disapproval, but began to walk again when it was clear Hermione wasn't going to say anything. So they continued on in silence. For how long, Draco didn't know. But he knew for sure it was not helping him work past the muscle fatigue. Unforgunately for him, he couldn't think of anything to talk about. Hermione seemed to be thinking along the same lines.
"So I've been thinking."
"Ah, the shocker of the century."
Hermione stuck her tongue out at him quite aware of how childish it made her look.
"Really though. Talking about your friends at school got me thinking. There isn't much that I really, truly know about you. I mean, I know that you're a Pureblood and you're good at potions. You love quidditch and even though you never beat Harry you were just as skilled, just not as reckless."
"Thanks," he snorted. "What else do you want to know?"
Hermione scrunched up her nose as she thought and Draco couldn't help but notice how adorable she was when she did it.
"I'm not sure. Anything really."
Draco hummed as he tried to think of something interesting.
"Well. When I was young I was absolutely terrified of flying."
This time Hermione stopped them. She threw her head back and laughed so hard that tears leaked from her eyes.
"Are you serious? You?"
"Keep laughing Granger. I only got over it when I was about eight and my father took me around on his broom doing crazy tricks until I stopped "screaming like a little girl," his words not mind, and realized how fun it was."
Draco smiled at the memory, but it soon faded.
"That was back when he was still allowed to be a good father."
Hermione gave him a look of sympathy that made him decidedly uncomfortable.
"So what about you? I know you're a Muggleborn, you read entirely too much not to need glasses already, and you are the only reason Weasley and Longbottom passed potions."
Hermione laughed. That was the truth for sure. Ron always failed at things he deemed too boring and poor Neville was just to clumsy when Snape was standing over him.
"For your information, I did need glasses. But I got a Muggle operation and they repaired my eyes."
"They can do that?"
He honestly didn't know very much about Muggle healing techniques, but he was shocked that they were so advanced. The wizarding world was still looking for a way to correct vision.
"Of course. And they can do loads more than that. So tell me something else about yourself."
And they continued in this fashion until Draco was forced to admit he was too tired to keep going. As they went to sleep, both Draco and Hermione couldn't help but wonder at the strangeness of a world where the two of them could get along so well.
A.N. Thanks for reading! What do you think? I'm dying to know haha. Really though.
Thank you to janjan2009 for your review! You're the best! And thank you to everyone who is following and favoriting! It gives me a lot of support ^^.
xoxo
Summer Orchid