Chapter 26- Consequences

If you look in any dictionary, Consequences are described as being 'Something that logically or naturally follows from an action or condition.' All Actions therefore have a consequence, those consequences may be something as small as losing out on your favorite dessert, or gaining a little weight after stuffing yourself full of said dessert. However on the other side of the scale, if an action isn't properly thought through, it can lead to a much bigger cost, like the loss of someone you care about. Even something as simple as picking a flower can have ramifications that nobody in a thousand years could have predicted.

That's the problem with life, no one really stops for long enough to think about the repercussions of their actions. It's a human flaw, that even if people vow to change, can never truly be dealt with. Instinct forces you to act a certain way and it's built into most people's brain's to be selfish, to do what they feel like at the time and worry about the consequences of it later. Even the most selfless person, can suffer from a poor outcome, there is just nothing you can do about it.

Actions have consequences, end of story.

When I was little I used to think of consequences as a little bald man, wondering around the earth, pointing his wand at someone who he felt was in the wrong. Now I'm older, I'm a little wiser on that fact thankfully, but at the same time, who's to say that isn't exactly what happens.

Losing the woman you love, having to sit back and watch your baby fight for its life as your friends are too wrapped up in their own lives to notice, obviously has its consequences. Of course it does, why would I have wasted the last few minutes thinking about consequences if it didn't. The problem with the 'c' word however is, that no matter how much you think you might know what they will be, and how the results of it may change you, it's all just guess work and when it really comes down to it, you often find out the consequences of an event have a bigger impact and take your life in a completely different direction than you ever could have imagined.

March 29th11.17pm

"JD? Is it alright if I come in?" Elliot said softly as she tapped briefly on the wards door and poked her head around it. Her voice was soft and caring, her eyes, sympathetic and warm with a small pool of regret and uncertainty flowing in the iris. She wanted nothing more than to run full pelt over to her friend and wrap her arms around him. She refrained from doing so however, knowing their relationship was no longer at that point and to be honest, she doubted it would be again.

JD simply nodded, not bothering to turn around and welcome the new comer. Instead he sat in the same spot he had been for the last 15 days and stared at the little incubator in front of him, watching as his son slept soundly, his little fist gripping hold of the sheets around him, oblivious to what was going on in the world.

" I brought Sammy a gift" She continued as she hesitantly walked into the room and over to the man she once dreamed of marrying. " I ran into Jordan and she mentioned that you hadn't had time to go out and really buy him anything yet.. which is totally understandable given the circumstances ...obviously... but it said in this children's book, they respond to bright colors, so I just thought ... I brought him a few things."

When it became apparent that he wasn't going to react, Elliot took a deep breath and forced herself to close the gap between them, so she was standing next to the infant and his father. She then pulled the Thomas the tank engine gift bag out from behind her back and placed it in the chair next to him. When JD still didn't respond, she bit her lip, squeezed her eyes shut for a second to really make her body oblige with the commands her brain was yelling at her, before moving forward once again and starting to empty the bag.

She was trying her hardest not to let her nerves show and force her hands to stop shaking as she ever so carefully, took one item from the bag at a time.

"So I got him this little blue bear, because what boy doesn't like blue, and some little rubber jangly keys, which I know he can't really play with yet, but he will do. Oh and this cute little new born baby grow with unicorns on it, cus I know you love them and he will look so adorable in it and what's cuter than a baby dressed as a unicorn, nothing right? They're both have magical healing powers… oh and I also bought a pair of socks, because well, they're socks, look how tiny they are and…"

"Elliot. Stop." JD suddenly spoke out, shaking his head as he leant forward and rested it in his hands. For a moment, silence fell upon them, till JD gathered the strength to sit up and look towards the blonde. "What do you want?" He asked simply, figuring he may as well get this whole awkward situation over with before the woman gave him one massive headache.

"To meet your son." She replied quietly, the pitch of her voice dropping to a less ear splinting frequency. "To talk to you, to apologize for being a complete jackass." She continued, as she let out a soft sigh and took a glance towards the other doctor. JD instantly looked away and leant back in his chair, trying his hardest not to look back over to her. With a sigh Elliot readjusted her position in the chair and reached over and stroked little Sammy's arm. "God, he's so tiny."

"Yeah... they tend to be when they are born before they are due, if 6 years as a doctor hasn't taught you that by now, you may want to rethink your career path." The man replied rather dryly with a roll of his eyes. He honestly wasn't trying to be rude, he just didn't know how to react, how to feel about the person who was one of his best friends. Could he even still call her that? Especially since he didn't know if he even still wanted her to be.

During the night he had thought, a lot, about her upcoming visit, about everything that had happened during the last few weeks, about what she had managed to arrange for little Sammy, even about their relationship and all the ups and downs it had had. He thought about the shitty things he had done to her over the years, splitting her and Sean up and then dumping her a week later wasn't really one of his smartest moves. Still, despite all this, he wasn't any closer to working out where the events which had been playing out this time, had left the two of them. All he did know was that it was awkward, very very awkward and it shouldn't be, they had been so close for so many years and had gotten through so much. Even when he had broken her heart, it didn't feel like this.

"Okay I deserved that... and probably a lot more." Elliot replied sadly, scratching at her hand nervously as she tried to think of the right words to say. For a while they both just sat, staring at the little baby in front of them, watching his chest raise and fall, neither knowing what to say or where to really begin.

Elliot, opened and closed her mouth a few times, looking very much like a fish, as she tried her hardest to get the words out that were on the tip of her tongue, but not wanting to make the situation any worse by saying the wrong thing. Things were so quiet you could hear the clock on the wall ticking, and the little machines, monitoring Sammy's urine output, bleeping away. Eventually she gathered the courage and began to talk, anything was better than the silence.

" Okay… let's just get on with this." She said softly, turning her whole attention and body towards the man in the chair. " I truly am sorry…we used to be so close and I know we've drifted apart these last few months, but I also know that's no excuse for the way I acted and treated you. I should have known something was wrong, hell if I'm honest a part of me did, but I was just so wrapped up in my own little world and everything with Keith that I just couldn't bring myself to think too much about it. I should have I know that, and if I could turn back time I would, but I can't. All I can say, JD, is that I will do anything to make this up to you. I haven't regretted anything this much in my life, to even think about how upset and hurt you must have been, how worried about your son, Kim… it just… I never want you to feel like that again. I know I can't make this right, not over night and I will understand if you can never forgive me.. but just so you know, I'm here, I'm your friend, whether you need to hate me right now or not, just know you're not alone. Any help you need, day or night I will be there in a heartbeat., I promise… If you want to talk, I'll listen, if you want to scream and shout, then I will take it…. I just, I want to make this right."

Elliot paused after that, unsure of how to continue or phase all the things she wanted to say. Was there any point, if JD really didn't want to hear what she had to say. Elliot was just about to stand up and get ready to excuse herself when she saw the young man begin to move.

Taking a deep breath, JD turned to look the woman in the eyes for the first time since she entered the room. He really did need to hear that and he couldn't help the single tear that rolled down his face. It didn't particularly help, it didn't make anything magically better in the slightest, but still he needed to hear it. He needed to hear something, anything from the friends who had become more like strangers.

"The New York doctor's a good start." He mumbled quietly before shrugging as Elliot gave him a small amused smile. It broke the tension in the room slightly and she felt herself relax back down in the chair, her calves sending her a silent thanks at no longer being placed in a fleeing position.

"I thought it might be, I know its so far away, but Sammy deserves the best, you, deserve the best and that's him, he can do so much for that little boy, give him a real shot and hey, what's the point of being private practice if you can't call in a few hundred favors every now and then." She replied, elbowing him slightly in the arm as she swayed towards him in a light gesture.

"I don't know about me deserving the best, but thank you." JD replied roughly, trying to keep his emotions in check and force the feeling of complete numbness away from him. He didn't want to yell at her, didn't want to scream and tell her to leave him alone, but that didn't mean he was at all ready to accept the jokey playfulness back into their relationship. Not by a long shot, not yet.

"Well I do, you're an amazing person JD and an amazing friend, I wouldn't be the person I am without you. You're going to make such a great father and that little boy is going to love you, more than he loves anybody else." She continued, the normal flirty expression dropping from her face as she forced herself back into serious mode.

"Except for how he would love Kim. She would have been a great mum, she loved him so much, took all these classes to prepare herself. God, how can I do this? How can I raise him alone? I don't even know how to change a diaper. What if I'm not enough for him?" JD replied, a shot of panic raising through him, he'd been so focused on just willing him to live and the joy when he was told he was going to be okay, that he never once thought about what would happen after. What would he do when he was able to take him home, how was he going to care for him and juggle work, would he even be able to meet his needs. Hell his apartment wasn't even nearly ready yet, there was still paint cans in the nursery because they hadn't decided on a colour.

"You will learn, like all first time parents do and you will never be alone! You have me, you have your brother, you have your mum and Dr Cox, Tur… you have so many people who will support you both and even if you didn't, you're his father and that's always going to be enough!" Elliot said softly as she reached over and placed her hands on his knees, giving them a small squeeze.. "JD look at me, the most important thing is you do your best, sure he will miss his mummy and the light she could bring to his life, but he will LOVE the fact he has you, that this great doctor, this kind, loving person with one hell of a story telling imagination, is his father. He's going to feel so lucky to have you. And sure we all make mistakes once in a while, but he will forgive you ever time, because he will know just how much you love him."

"I hope so, it's not fair that he's lost her. That he will never have a mother-son bond with her." JD spoke out, just as soft, the slight panic that has arisen before being drowned out at Elliot's words. She was right, he could do this, he had to do this. That was his son, his baby boy and that was all that mattered.

"No its not, but his daddy is going to give him the best life he possibly can. What more could he ask for." Elliot continued, her arms leaving his knees and working their way round so one was over his shoulder in a half hug, willing him to believe her.

"Yeah I am.." JD mumbled, his brow creasing in concentration as his eyes drifted back to his son. She was right again, he would give I'm the best possible life, he would make damm sure that that little boy got every opportunity in the world even if it killed him. It was then, at that very moment he realized it didn't matter what state the apartment was in, or the colour of the walls because he knew what he had to do."Because I'm going to move to new York." He said, his voice louder and full of more determination than he had felt in a while.

"…What?"

"I never once thought of leaving this place, I love it here, but if this doctor is in New York, then for as long as Sammy needs him, that's where I have to be isnt it? I know moving with a new born isn't the easiest of choices, but right now he's relying on me to make these decisions, to put him and his quality of life first and that's one thing I'm not screwing up." JD continued, his eyes almost burning as all the new possibilities, fears and plans started swirling in his head. He could do this, for Sammy he could do this. He would find a place, a nice little place, near a park, so they could still get lots of fresh air. He'd find a job with good day care in a few months, or maybe get a day sitter, someone who could give Sammy one to one care. But then… no he wanted him to have friends, mix with other babies, so he developed social skills. Maybe that would be something he should discuss with the Doctor, on which one would be better for Sammy's health and wellbeing. He would go with whatever he thought best and then, even if Sammy didn't gain full mobility back in his legs, he would make sure he was the most confident toddler and as proud of himself as he could be. Even if it didn't help, at least he could say he did everything in his power to help his son.

"And that is exactly why you will make a great father." Elliot pointed out with a sad, but happy for him kind of smile. "But… JD he doesn't have to start seeing him for a couple of months, you don't have to decide what you're doing now or leave any time soon."

"There's no decision to make, it's what he needs, so thanks to you, it's what he will get…" JD stated as he stood up and leant over the little boys cot, as a small babble alerted them both to the fact he had awoken.

Reaching down and picking the child up with care, the young man smiled to himself as he watched the infant stick his tongue out and look up at him with big blue eyes. For the first time, looking like he had the strength to move the body parts which were in his control. "My amazing baby boy." He chanted lovingly, shaking his head slightly as he reached over and ran his finger down his sons nose. "We're gunna have an adventure and a half as soon as your strong enough to leave."

Elliot couldn't help the 'awww' that escaped her lips as she placed a hand over her heart and really took in the scene in front of her. Without the young man noticing, she reached into her pocket , pulled out her phone and took what she considered the most adorable picture ever.

" You know, I'm just a skype call away any time you want to chat." She reassured, placing her phone back in her top and vowing to go and get it printed.

"I haven't left yet you know." JD Joked, glancing up to the blonde with a little grin on his face and a glint in his eye, causing the other to shake her head and nudge him slightly.

"You know what I mean." She huffed, rolling her eyes before turning around, picking the little bear up she had brought with her and waving it near Sammy's face, then bopping him gently with the soft paw.

"Yeah… yeah I do."

As I said the consequences of events and actions aren't ever anything you can predict. But that's not to say they necessarily always have to be a bad thing.

(A/N) hey all! Thanks so much for all the reviews! I will reply to them all individually when I have a free second but for now, I hope u liked this new chapter!

Dun DUn DUN

So there was the Elliot confrontation scene. What did you all think?