Chapter 27- His story

When you have known someone for over 12 years you tend to think that you know them. Know what they like, what they hate, and what gets them angry. Even the things that leave them crying a pool of happy tears. Mainly you tend to think you know how they are going to react when certain events transpire, because you've experienced so many situations with them and the measures that follow, that really its only second nature to anticipate their next actions and 99 percent of the time, you get it right. When you have been best friends for such a long time, then you are pretty damn sure that you can indentify every single aspect of their personality without so much as having to take a single second to think about it.

Sometimes however things change, people grow apart and despite how much you fight it, you find the person you once spent every waking minute with is now a stranger. That there's a side to them that you never even knew existed and it quickly defines your whole relationship, shifting the draw bridges so much that sometimes it leads to no other option but to shut them down. Sometimes permanently.

For when wars began back in ancient times, the king had to protect his kingdom, his family and sometimes the only way to do that, was by shutting of access to the fortress, severing its ties with the lower land despite the connection to the people within it. He may not have wanted it, he may think it's only a temporary measure, but at the end of the day, blood, will always be thicker than water. And when family needs you, they take priority over every other relationship in your life, when they are hurt and in need of protection, they become your world and there is little room for the people who are not connected by that bond.

You may think that last part is me referring to Turks relationship with me, me shutting him out after everything that had happened and making my son my number one priority. In a way you would be right in thinking that, but the clever people, the ones on the outside looking in, with no emotional attachment to the situation may think differently. For every story has two sides, two stories will always run together side by side until the day they collide.

5 months previously…

"Oh for goodness sake Turk! I asked you to do one little thing for me, to take care of our daughter for one measly afternoon and you can't even do that." Carla ranted, as she threw yet another load of washing in the machine while trying to balance a fussing Izzy on her hip. The youngster had just started learning to crawl and the new mother had discovered very quickly that it was impossible to get work done and take care of her daughter at the same time. Especially as you couldn't take your eye of her for a second, encase her hand ended up in a kitchen cupboard or she was stuffing something that wasn't a stuffed toy in her mouth.

"Oh give me a break, JD is going through some stuff right now, Kim's just found out she's pregnant and he's freaking out. I didn't say I wouldn't watch her, I'll just take her with me. He needs help looking for a new place and needs someone to talk to, I can't just abandon him." Turk threw back at his wife, as he glanced around the room. He had to admit, the original reason this whole argument had begun, was well justified. The apartment was a mess, there were clothes and toys and bits of hospital paper work everywhere and Izzy had just managed to spill her lunch over a nurses schedule Carla had been working on all day. They had been meaning to baby proof the place before Izzy was even born, but with one thing after another, they had never gotten around to it. Now she was crawling and getting into everything and with their jobs, neither of the Turks had time to keep on top of things like housework.

"But you promised, and I know your idea of helping JD involves the two of you playing your stupid games! Climbing on each other's shoulders, spinning around like lunatics, playing pranks, which by the way, will end up with someone being hurt one of these days! I'm sorry but I'm not willing to risk that person being Isabella!" Carla continued, brushing her rather tangled hair behind her ears as she slammed the washing machines door shut and hit the start button. She was well and truly exhausted, when she was on maternity leave, she could at least have kept up with the laundry and other bits and piexes around the house, but with working full time she just didn't have the energy to do that anymore, to be a nurse and an active mother. Money was so tight they had to fire the nanny and enroll Izzy at the hospitals day care room, meaning she couldn't even ask the woman who had helped them out with a few things in the past to do the odd bit of tidying. It was times like this she really wished her mother was still alive at least she would understand what she was going though.

"I would never put our child in danger? How could you even think that?" Turk responded absolutely horrified. He instantly charged into the kitchen and blocked the pathway out, staring at his wife with accusing eyes as he demanded answers. Of all the things she could have said, that had to have been the lowest.

"I'm not saying you would, not intentionally, but everything is a danger to her right now, she's sticking everything she finds in her mouth! What if you're so busy planning your next prank, that you don't see her grab a pen and she ends up with ink poisoning? Or you put her down for a second and she crawls off? it's not safe!" She cried, frustrated that he couldn't see the world the way she was. She wasn't being a cow for no reason and hated the fact he couldn't see past his need to be with JD to think about all the things that could happen if they weren't careful enough.

Back when Carla had first started dating Turk and even for a while after, their child like friendship and bond had fascinated and amused her to no end. After they got married, she pretty much accepted the fact that things weren't going to change between them and they were always going to act like idiots around each other. And that was okay! Really at the time it was, but now she had Izzy, things were just different, she had to think like a parent and she needed her husband to as well.

" Carla…"

"No don't 'Carla' me, like I'm being paranoid, look at this place Turk, really look at it! You're a surgeon, you have been at the hospital seeing what accidents happen first hand for years now. Look around, look at the floor, look at the walls, look at everything and tell me not one of them could end up somehow hurting our daughter. How many parents have rushed in, crying for help because their baby swallowed something? How many just took their eye of the ball for a second and ended up sitting in intensive care, praying for their child's life?"

Rolling his eyes, Turk did what he was told and turned around. Only for the first time since his baby had been born he really looked and felt realization dawn on him as his eyes zoomed in at their surroundings. The left over hair from the last time JD came around and they gave rowdy a bath, the unsecured TV, which anyone could knock into and cause it to go flying, the vase on the coffee table, just within his daughters reach and the tiny little bowls Carla had bought when they first moved in together, which suddenly morphed into the perfect size to fit into a child's mouth.

The wallpaper on the walls was starting to tear, another thing she could eat, the wires sticking out all over the place, something which would look so inviting for someone so young. The uncovered plugs where little fingers could get a not so little lesson, the list went on. It took a few minutes but ever so slowly Turk gulped as his attention shifted back to his exhausted wife and child, who was still crying as she tried to reach out to pull at her mother's hair, trying her hardest to wriggle down to the ground.

"Okay…Why don't I spend the day sorting all of this out, so we can have a happy baby who can actually play with her toys and you go and have a bath or nap, or whatever you need to do." Turk said softly after a second of hesitation, earning himself a relived smile from his wife.

"Thank you" She mouthed as she took a step forward and placed a gentle kiss on the corner of his mouth, just the way she knew he liked it. Holding his arms out, Turk took the squirming infant from her mother and started 'airoplaning' her through the air as a distraction as Carla left the room. As soon as she was out of sight, Turk ceased what he was doing and sighed, shifting the baby into one arm and reaching for his cell phone with his spare. It was going to be a long day.

3 months previously…

"Are you alright?"Carla called out to her husband in concern as she walked into the staff room, only to see him sitting on the couch staring blankly at the TV that wasn't even switched on. If he didn't look like someone who had just been slapped in the face by a fish, she thought she'd probably have been the first person to point out how crazy he looked right now, almost as if he was expecting the TV to come alive. If she was being completely honest with herself, if JD was in the room she wouldn't have put it past them to be thinking up some elaborate scheme where that actually did happen.

"I just got off the phone with my brother, my mum's been admitted to hospital." Turk replied solemnly, rubbing his hands together nervously as he ground his teeth together, trying to control the way ward emotions which were trying to break out.

"Oh no baby, What happened?" She asked almost instantly, taking a seat beside him and resting her closest hand on his knee to try and offer a small amount of comfort.

"Apparently a neighbor found her walking around their garden disorientated at 3 o clock this morning. She collapsed before he could even get her inside." Turk replied with a shaking breathe, placing one of his hands on top of hers, while the other instantly reached towards the small Saint Christopher chain around his neck. He hadn't prayed properly in a while, things had been so hectic with Izzy lately that he found he just didn't have the time to take a few moments to speak to God, but by god he was praying now.

His mother meant the absolute world to him and just the thought that something could be seriously wrong with her, made his blood run cold. His whole skin was itching, feeling like something was trying to claw its way out as nothing but pure dread filled the pit of his stomach. They had always been lucky, in all of his years as a surgeon, even when he was in med school, no one in his family had really been taken ill. Hearing about it as a professional, made the whole thing just seem so much worse. He knew the absolute worst case scenarios and they were all currently playing around in his head.

"That doesn't sound good."Carla spoke quietly, rubbing his thigh reassuringly as she reached over and wrapped her other arm around his shoulders. If there was one thing she hated, it was her superman looking so helpless.

"No…"

"Hey, hey baby look at me, it will be alright! She's a Turk remember, you lot can pull through anything."

He could only just bring himself to nod.

2 months previously…

Closing the door to the women's locker room quietly behind him, Turk carefully stepped inside, squinting as he glanced around, making doubly sure no one but his wife was currently getting changed inside. The last thing he needed was a complaint being made about him being in there… again.

"They found her a match, she's having surgery first thing tomorrow morning." He said softly, causing Carla to jump slightly, as she pulled her pink scrub top over her head and turned around to face her husband.

"That's brilliant news!" She cried out, throwing the dirty clothes to the floor and rushing to wrap her man in an warm embrace. They stayed that way for a few minutes, breathing in each other's scents and just taking comfort in the skin to skin contact. "We should take Izzy to go and see her."

Breaking away from her, Turk slowly let his arms fall from around her and allowed Carla the chance to pick up a normal top and finish getting dressed. He had to admit, a part of him desperately wished she could stay as she was, giving him the perfect view of the girls he hadn't seen for a while unless his daughter's lips were attached to one of them.

"Yeah, I know she would enjoy that, she can't stop talking about her little granddaughter." He replied, taking a step back and taking a seat as he just watched Carla moving about the room. In his eyes, she became more and more beautiful as the days past, she'd been his rock the last month and he honestly did not know how he would have got through the worry without her.

"Have you told JD yet? I know he'd want to help anyway he could." She continued, running her hands through her curls in an attempt to tame it before she closed her locker door and reached for her bag. She never did understand why Turk had insisted on not telling his best friend what was going on. JD was the most sensitive person she knew, he would have been all over the man in minutes, running himself into the ground to try and make sure everything was okay.

" No, no I haven't, I know I said I was going to, but I haven't really seen much of him since Izzy was born and he's in a good place right now and has Kim to take care of. It seems wrong to burden him with this when it could all be fine in a few days, besides he'd only want to come with me and he's needed here. Especially now."

Standing up, he opened his arm out and invited Carla in. Smirking slightly to herself, the nurse shook her head before closing the gap between them and placing a small peak on his lips, unable to resist.

"What do you mean by that." She said softly, her lips still touching his as she moved in for something a bit more intimate.

"Kim's just not been looking to good recently, she almost fainted yesterday in surgery. As much as I 'd love to talk to him, I think his attention is needed elsewhere." He clarified, a crease forming on his brow as he thought back to the previous day's events. He knew being a surgeon and being on your feet all day while pregnant couldn't be the easiest thing, but he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something not right about the whole thing. She had been looking paler by the day, where as he was sure the opposite had happened when Carla was with child. He had tried a few times to bring it up with her, but had been told in no uncertain terms to mind his own business.

"Oh? Hope she's okay."

"Ahhh don't worry about it, I'm sure she's fine, she's taking an early maternity leave soon anyway."

Three weeks previously…

"Hey Kim!" Turk called out as he saw a familiar bob of blonde hair sitting on a park bench as he pushed Izzy in her stroller. He had been planning to take the little girl to go and feed the ducks for weeks now and had finally had some time off where he could do just that. Add in the fact it was a gorgeous day and the timing really couldn't have been better.

The blonde surgeon instantly turned around and flashed a small smile in the direction of her co-worker, rubbing her hand soothingly over her expanding belly as she attempted to maneuver enough to see him comfortably.

"Hey, on daddy duty today I see." She replied, waving happily at the little baby dressed in the cutest pink dress she had ever seen. God she couldn't wait for the day she would get to dress her child up in some of the outfits she had passed in mother care earlier that week. There was the cutest little ducky outfit she was pretty much convinced her son was going to be spending most of his baby phase in.

"You know it, what you doing out here?" He asked as he pushed the stroller slightly closer so the pregnant surgeon didn't have to strain her head so much.

"JD asked me to meet him here when his shifts over, thought I'd get here early seeing as it's such a nice day and just enjoy the view." She replied, the rubbing of her belly increasing in pace slightly as she tried to hide the fact the baby inside was causing her some discomfort.

" Oh that's cool…. are you okay?" He called out, the frequency of his voice going up a pitch as he noticed her wincing and her hand firmly pressing on her lower abdomen. Sure he'd delivered babies before, but the kid of your best friend and someone you worked with who wasn't even due yet would be just too weird. "You're not in labor are you?"

" Oh god no, I'm not due for a while yet! He's just doing summersaults in there… don't tell JD that one though, he'll be signed up for dance classes before he can even walk." She joked, biting her lip slightly as she shuffled around on the bench, her breathing deep and uneven, as if she was struggling to catch her breath the way a runner would after a marathon.

" You sure?" He probed, taking in the woman's appearance fully, worry evident on his face as he noticed similar symptoms that had appeared just before she collapsed in theater not that long ago.

"Mmmm, I'm fine. Go enjoy your walk… just don't mention this to JD okay, he'll only panic over nothing."

With a small, unconvinced nod, Turk turned and walked away, stopping to glance back at the woman every few strides, unconvinced if he should really leave her alone or not. When Kim noticed what he was doing, she forced a laugh, shook her head and gave him one final shooing motion with her hands. In the end he just shrugged his shoulders and headed down to the pond, figuring he would mention it to her midwife tomorrow morning just to be on the safe side.

A few days previously…

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NOO! It can't be true! I don't believe it!" Turk screamed, running through the hospital corridors like a mad man, the words, Kim, dead and 2 weeks circling around and around in his brain. He went from floor to floor, from nurse to doctor to surgeon to some random gift shop worker, asking, no demanding someone tell him it wasn't true. That Kim wasn't dead.

"Kim can't be dead!" He full on screamed, a blind panic flushing through him as he struggled to control his breathing. He knew deep down he was acting like someone who needed locking up, that he was quite frankly scaring half the patients on the wards, but he just didn't care. This black hole seemed to have been released inside of him and second by second it was growing to the point his whole body was starting to feel empty.

Eventually he had charged past Doug who was watching him through horrified eyes as he threw himself into the M.R.I room and shoved the pathologist against the wall, holding him by this throat and demanding to know if he knew that Kim had died giving birth and why no one had thought to tell him this.

"Awww is Mr. Untouchable, a bit upset." The janitor called out, walking into the room with a smirk and calmly grabbing hold of the surgeons hands and forcing him to let the smaller man go.

"Its not true…" Turk mumbled slowly, as he let loosened his grip completely on Frankies lab coat, watching with glazed eyes as the man ran out of the room, muttering something about him being a complete nut job.

"Ahh but I'm afraid it is, Little Sam Perry Dorian was born just under two weeks ago. JD and me had a nice little chat not long after it happened and as it turns out, he's not too fond of you right now. In fact I'd go so far as to say he's going to be offering me the title of godfather very soon, if the kid pulls through that is." The janitor taunted, his grin widening as he saw the look of total despair that appeared on the man's face.

At that point Turk just felt his voice leave him as he sank into a pit of despair. The agonizing guilt being too much for him to process as his brain tried to shut everything down, block it out to allow him to cope better with it. He'd known, he'd known something was wrong but he had done nothing.

"Oh god" He thought to himself. "What have I done."

Of course, I didn't know all of this until much later.

(A/N) Hi, its been a while :') Okay now im just avoiding the big turk/JD talk but i hpe this helps to explain Turks behaviour a little. Thanks to everyone whose still reading this fic, like four years on 3 Hope you all liked the chapter