Trope Trasher 3
Crossover's. We have millions of fic's out there that combine two or more separate works of fiction to create what could only be described as fanatical bullshit.
As of 0900 the UNSC had declared war on the species known as the Turian's and by extension the Citadel Council, the ruling body of the Turian's.
The Turian's had for reasons unknown attacked and invaded the human colony Shanxi, the UNSC had of course replied in force.
Humanity along with its close allies and past enemies, what remained of the Covenant races, had amassed a fleet of thousands of ships and retook the space around Shanxi. The battle had been short lived; the Turian fleet was outnumbered by the sheer amount of ships as well as the size of the vessels, the five kilometre long Infinity-Class dwarfing even the largest alien ship let alone the eleven kilometre long Forerunner Dreadnought that led the charge.
Mass Accelerator rounds and Disruptor Torpedo's met Magnetic Accelerator rounds and Shiva missiles, Guardian Lasers met Spartan Lasers, and the Energy Projector was left unmatched as in its destructive capabilities.
The use of Nuclear Weapons, while strictly forbidden by the Citadel, were used extensively by the Human and Covenant forces.
Once that battle in space had been won Shanxi was quickly retaken by Humanity and its former Covenant allies. No prisoners were taken as the Turians fought to their last despite the hopelessness of their situation.
Humanity and its allies, following their victory marched on the Citadel, bypassing all other planets, military outposts and refuelling stations in the process.
They attacked swiftly once again easily overcoming their enemies with their superior technology and conquering their foes.
Once the Citadel was conquered the peace talks began.
The Citadel Council in all its magnanimity offered the Human and Covenant forces the great honour of joining them, as long as most of their fleets were disabled and they gave up all rights as a self-governing nation.
Humanity and its allies refused despite the generous offer and despite having only just conquered the Citadel, spending Hundreds of Billions of Tax Payer Dollars in the process and likely taking heavy casualties, returned the Citadel to the Council and left, returning to their space.
Despite decades of distrust and outright enmity Humanity agreed to allow the Citadel access to the recently uncovered Prothean Beacon found on Eden Prime.
Of course who better to lead Humanity's forces and keep the Citadel researcher's inline then Commander Twilight Sparkle Shepard?
They would then proceed to rehash Mass Effect's story line but add places, peoples and technologies native to the Halo games.
Yes, I did in fact have to add a Pony, if only to suspend your disbelief.
It's not that I don't like Crossovers it's just that most of these fic's are fanboy/girl garbage written to promote the greatness of the introduced fiction, add pointless plot elements or proliferate some ridiculous dissociative superiority complex.
Halo, Harry Potter, the Elder Scrolls, ad nauseam are entertaining and entrenching pieces of fiction. As is Mass Effect and while sometimes adding one to another might make an entertaining read the plots have little variation and close to no real substance relying on the material's renown to achieve even the most basic amount of readability.
Shepard is a soldier, he makes decisions that can affect countless lives, and he associates with a variety of interesting people. He does not need to know how to shoot lightning bolts out of his ass. Magic meets sci-fi, entertaining certainly, we saw that with Star Wars, DC and Marvel Comics as well as many other incredibly well set out works of fiction, but the other 99% of the time? Completely pointless.
Yes, the Reapers do set up a scenario so that future races emulate past races, and while unknown technology might give them an edge they are still fighting a near endless race of emotionless killing machines. One does not simply press a magic button to win a war, despite what EA and Bioware would have you believe, lest that button is attached to a Halo Array and then that's not really a win now is it?
And while the size of the ship might mean more heavily armed and armoured it also means a much larger target. Not to mention the sheer amount of ships that seem to jump from one kilometre to fifty kilometres long for no real reason just has me thinking.
Are these authors having a glorified dick measuring contest?