Amoura Souza
22950 Anza St
San Francisco, CA 94121
Amy!
I don't know if you would recognize me. Alek would, but only because he and I have matching heartbeats. The weather here is nice, I guess, but I'm pretty sure that you would hate most of my new spring wardrobe. I don't plan on being here after James is born, so I've only bought maternity clothes. I haven't even had a chance to wear any of the clothes you gave me before I left San Fran. I dress super conservatively now, Eden is so different than San Francisco. It makes me miss the little things, like the neighbor that always flew a rainbow flag or the sunburnt sorority sisters at the beach. Here, the main community activity is churchgoing.
I've lived here for almost a month now, so I'm used to putting on my green-colored contacts, my sleek 'librarian' glasses, and trying (and failing) to get my hair into some kind of up-do. My hair is growing out; it almost touches my shoulders now. I'm glad it's getting longer, but I have to go to the hair solon every other week to keep the color in. I got to choose between red and brunette, and now, I'm regretting my decision. Apparently I have no soul. And, I can't deny it because everyone is supposed to think that I'm naturally a redhead. I don't have freckles, but that just means that I'm a 'day-walker.' Whenever we took those 'BFF' test in girl's magazines, you would always say that you're jealous of my hair. I always said that I envied your singing voice. Well, I hope you haven't lost your sense of pitch.
I was hoping that life would be easier here. At home, I always had to ignore horny human guys at school. Remember how angry Alek would get if I even talked to a human male? Well, I'm probably going insane from separation anxiety, but I miss that. I miss Alek bursting into the room and picking fights. Crazy, huh? Especially when I would always yell at him for starting fights so often.
I was really expecting not to have the same problem nowadays, because of increasingly obvious changes due to my 'condition'. A pregnant woman wearing a wedding ring should deter most bachelors, right? Apparently not. I don't really get out much but, if I have to go shopping for groceries or clothes, men seem to swarm me. At work, I get hit on by awkward male nurses at least twice a day. Male Nurses! It's intimidating really. I think that the need to prey, on the quiet, single, isolated, and pregnant girl trying to live on her own, is instinctual. I know that I can defend myself, these poor humans are no match for me, but I'm afraid to draw too much attention to myself.
It doesn't help that my elusive husband is nowhere in sight. I don't have any pictures of Alek to show them, so he's not real for all they know. The worst thing is that I have to be nice about it. If I get irritated they just label me as 'HORMONAL' and make jokes when they think I can't hear them.
Mai hearing, remember? I wish I didn't feel like this but it's pretty much true. Humans are awful. Older women aren't that bad, they just want to touch my stomach all the time. They always ask about Alek, and the lie has gotten easier. I'm so glad Valentina is letting me tell people that he's in the military. It would be horrible to tell people that I didn't know who the father was, or that he had died.
I've never felt this isolated. To keep up appearances, I am allowed a cell phone. No modern-day nineteen-year-old doesn't have one, but it only lets me call local numbers. It doesn't have internet. I miss my laptop… I'm allowed to go on the internet when I'm with the Bartlett's. They are great people, some of the more relaxed Mai I've met, but the Mai Protection Policy means that I can only look at generic websites. Nothing that has anything to do with my life before Eden. I can't even Google 'San Francisco' or look up your guys' local news. I worry all the time, but I know that you all are okay.
If anything happened to Alek, Jasmine, or Valentina, I'm sure I would hear about it. Even the Mai here know that the Uniter was found in San Francisco. They just have no idea that I'm from San Fran. I even heard Rhonda talking about how she met Val at the Mai conference in New York last year. Luckily, since there is an unwritten rule against discussing the Uniter, I don't have to listen to much speculation about the subject.
It's sad, but I'm not even supposed to tell them that my identity in Eden is completely fake. They know that I'm blond with blue eyes, and that my last name isn't 'Hunt,' but they really do believe that I'm married to an 'Alexander' who is working undercover with the Mai in the Middle East. They think my real name is 'Clover' and that I'm nineteen. Those last two are the hardest to fake, though I have been getting better at responding whenever I hear 'my name' being called. Acting all grown up is hard to. I just turned seventeen a few months ago!
Now, I'm supposed to have already graduated high school, then gotten married, then gotten pregnant. I feel like my life is all backwards. At least me and Alek were already engaged when I found out about the baby, not that we would get married for the baby's sake if we didn't love each other. Our marriage was a bit earlier than I expected, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Most of the young people here think I'm some slut. I try not to care. What they think doesn't matter.
James is the best thing that could ever happen to me. If anything were to happen to Alek, Bastet forbid, I will have my baby boy to remember him by. I just want my family back. Growing up an orphan was rough, you remember, you were there. At least your dads were always there for me. If Alek and I had a real wedding ceremony, I would want D1 and D2 to walk me down the aisle. You would be the maid of honor, obviously. As it stands, our wedding (of lack therefore) was definitely missing some key people. Mostly, all of my friends.
Because I don't really put myself out there and make conversation with strangers, I haven't been able to make many friends here. So no, you haven't been replaced. As if I could ever replace you! Without you, who would I turn to when I need to feel good about my level of sanity? Haha, joking, I swear. How are you and Paul? Not joking this time. Please no fighting. I've had enough drama to last my whole life. You two are so dead if I come back to San Fran to you two arguing constantly. I know you both must be worried out of your minds, I'm okay. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
Your best friend forever,
and ever,
and ever,
Chloe.
Clover Hunt
407 S Van Buren Rd. apt 5C
Eden, NC 27288