A/N: Yes, Katniss is 18. She was 16 in the 73rd Games. I couldn't update sooner – I lost power because of Hurricane Sandy.

To make up for that, there's some smut in this chapter(;

I look up, confident that I'm on the verge of hysteria. "Holy shit." I whisper, biting down on my fist to keep from screaming. My eyes widen with fear. I turn to Finnick, who seems to be freaking out. "What. Have. We. Done?" I ask him slowly. I don't wait for him to answer. I sprint out the door, not quite sure where I'm going. I run out of the Victor's Village, past the town and the Seam, to the Meadow. I'm about to climb under the fence, but it's buzzing alive with electricity. I can't escape. I run back in the dark, faintly noticing that my socks are soaking wet and I'm freezing cold. It's mid-February, and we're just thawing from a blizzard. All I was wearing was a pair of leggings and one of Finn's tee-shirts. I'm out of breath by the time I'm back at the gates to the Victor's Village.

We're going back into the arena. The land of the mutts, the canons, the source of every victor's nightmares. I don't think anyone was expecting this. This turn of events is unprecedented. The one thing all victors knew for sure, was that their time in the arena was over for good. Until now. I want to scream; I want to punch something. I would rather die a thousand times before having to experience my Games all over again. I stop thinking about myself for a moment: some of these victors have settled down and have spouses and even children. Some victors may be as young as I, or as old as Mags. She's the oldest living victor.

I see Johanna. She's curled up into a ball in front of Haymitch's house, hyperventilating. I don't blame her. I walk over to her, and give her my hand to help her up. She smiles a little, and we walk slowly back to my house, which is in utter chaos.

Gale and my mother are screaming at Finnick, who looks like he's about to punch Gale in the faec or start crying at the same time. Haymitch is pacing angrily. Hazelle and the kids went next door with Prim, who was scared at the drama unfolding. Johanna exchanges a look with me and shakes her head, screaming at all of them, "What the hell is going on?"

"I knew you were bad for her- Katniss has been acting promiscuously and dressing inappropriately after you two started dating. You cheated on my daughter, and now she's going to get sent back into that-" My mother yells at Finnick, but cuts herself off when she realizes we're all listening.

"Jesus, Martha. Would you shut it?" Haymitch grumbles. That's probably the only time I've ever heard someone call my mother by her first name. "Finnick's a good kid."

I sigh. "My clothes have nothing to do with Finnick. I dress and act the way I do because I'm a goddamn-" I'm smart enough to not finish that sentence.

"A what?" My mother asks pointedly. This is the first time I realize she's against me. I can't count on my own mother.

"A celebrity. The Capitol's watching her every move." Gale covers up for me. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in. That could've been very bad. "I'm going home." He walks out.

"I need a drink." Finnick leans back. We all walk out of my house, leaving my mother alone, but she's not a concern right now. I'm going to be in the arena with Johanna, and Haymitch or Gale. Johanna Mason is a good friend, but her Games were terrifying. She killed eight tributes, I think. I killed three.

As soon as we're in Haymitch's house, we break out the strong liquor, that's practically as strong as the rubbing alcohol that's used in hospitals. Ripper only has ever made fifty bottles of it. I pop the seal of a bottle and chug half of it in one breath, not stopping until Finnick pulls it away from me, leaving me sputtering and coughing. Gale seems the most calm, which is weird. Finn finishes off the bottle. We look up, and see Haymitch shaking his head at us. "I don't think I could drink that as fast as you." The whole world seems fuzzy around the edges. I still feel the pain, and stumble up to get another bottle of less strong liquor by comparison, vodka. Finnick and I alternate sips. By the time we're done, I feel less numb, just a bit nauseous.

"Let's go somewhere." I tell Finnick. We stand up and leave, half-jogging half-skipping back to my house. My mother is explaining the situation to an upset Prim, but I don't even bother to say hello. "Hey Finn, wanna practice throwing knives? I'll give you an hour of arrow lessons for an arrow of trident! That might be handy in the Seventy-fifth Annual Hunger Games!" We both laugh uncontrollably for a while, even though nothing about the situation is funny. My mother and Prim watch the exchange, looking confused and a little scared.

"I love you." Finnick slurs. He's drunk. So am I, I think. I wrap my arms around him, kissing him passionately. My mother is right there, my brain reminds me. I ignore it.

"Let's get out of here?" I ask him, leading him upstairs. I can't make it up the stairs, and Finn ends up throwing me over his shoulder. As soon as we get into my room, I throw him against the wall, and kiss him hard. Somehow, his clothes end up in a pile on the floor with mine, leaving us in our underwear.

He pulls away for a minute, looking concerned. "Katniss, you're drunk."

I laugh irresponsibly. "So are you. Does it even matter? It's not like this would be our first time. Just fuck me?" That seems to be the only the only thing he needed to hear, and next thing I know, Finn's lips attach to mine, his teeth catching my bottom lip before his tongue caresses the bite as he moved down to my chin, my neck, the edge of my shirt. His hands move their way up the back of her shirt, his fingers softly tracing up my spine. I'm sure I might collapse in a heap on the ground from the sheer electric current from Finn's fingertips to my skin.

This is like my first time all over again. I don't know how to feel, I can't do anything except feel how my skin is practically tingling against his hands. Finnick slides my shirt off me as his mouth trails light kisses along my shoulder, my own hands reaching far less gracefully for his own shirt, as I drunkenly lift it over his head. He laughs lightly, the sound low and growly in a way that shouldn't have turned me on more but definitely did, the feel of it vibrating across my skin.

Next thing I know, my clothes are on the floor, in a pile with Finn's shirt. I frown, realizing he's still wearing his pants. I pull away from his lips for a minute, just so I can lean down and unzip his pants. I'm not the most experienced – I've slept with my fair share of Capitol men, and that's only a fraction of the people Finnick's slept with – but I know how to get someone off. I snake my hand into his pants, gripping with the right mixture of tight and loose all in one while moving up and down to get him completely hard. I pull my hand out, smirking. Finn pushes me onto a wall with a loud thump, it only taking seconds for him to push in harder and faster than he normally would have, not that I mind.

My fingernails dig into his shoulders, scratching patterns down his bare muscular back. His fingers hold on to my hips hard enough to bruise as he starts to thrust in and out, not even bothering to start with a slow pace. There is no pace, it's drunk and sloppy but we need this and neither of us really care. The words falling out of my mouth, faster, harder, more, please, fuck, sound so out of place and dirty. I'm screaming and the repeated banging on the wall are sure to be heard by everyone. I wrap my legs around his waist and we make our way to the bed, him still inside me. One of his hands moves to up to cup my breast, a thumb ghosting over my nipple. My whole entire body tenses up, tightening and winding more and more around me as I fight off the orgasm with every ounce of energy I can, not wanting to miss a moment of how perfect all of this is, regardless of how fucked up everything else is. I feel myself come hard, seeing only stars. Finn thrusts a few more times, one, two three, and then comes with a grunt. He doesn't roll off me, and I keep him there, reaching up to kiss him. "Love you too." I manage to tell him before the alcohol in my body drags me under.

I wake up late. The light coming in through the curtains is blinding, and the noises downstairs are too loud. I manage to make my way to the toilet and the alcohol and dinner make a reappearance. I crawl back into bed and pull the blanket over Finnick and I, barely registering our state of undress. I wake up again, and Finnick's up in the bathroom. My head is pounding. I put on my fluffy white robe and go downstairs, leaving some clothes out for Finnick.

Prim and my mother are chatting and laughing at the table with Hazelle and Rory. Vick and Posy must be somewhere. They silence themselves as soon as they see me. "Morning." Hazelle smiles at me sympathetically. She knows what everyone knows- I'm going back in. I don't want to think of that.

"Do you want any juice?" Prim asks me cheerfully, as she pours herself a glass of pink juice. I can see right through her act, she's scared, but is trying to hold it together for me. It's grapefruit juice, that comes from District 11. I shake my head, no. I'm not hungry. And even if I was, I wouldn't want it. Prim and Rory are going to see the school play together, and are leaving in a few minutes. Hazelle walks them out.

"Katniss, we need to talk." My mother tells me. I have a feeling this is going to her talking, and me pretending to listen. "You're out of control. You drink and have sexual relations, with a twenty-four year old."

I try not to roll my eyes at her, but my patience for her is wearing thin. "I'm an adult, I can make my own choices. I can't deal with this- I can't deal with you right now." I walk out and go to Gale's house. He's sitting at the table, drinking a cup of something hot (coffee, maybe tea or hot cider). I let myself in, and sit down next to him. "Hey, how are you holding up?" I ask him, worry in my eyes. The two of us were just in the Games, and our wounds are the freshest. Compared to some victors, we didn't have it that bad: Annie went mad, Haymitch almost lost his intestines, Finnick and Johanna killed the most out of anybody in Hunger Games history- 12 and 10 people, respectively. That doesn't mean our Games weren't traumatizing. I get terrible nightmares, and I think he does too. I don't ask.

Gale takes a long sip of his drink before answering me. "I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel. First I was kind of confused, and then I was angry. But now I'm just... empty. I don't feel anything. I just wanna run away to another life. What about you? You look pretty hung over, but I wasn't told how much you drank. I did hear... other things."

I blush. "Sorry about that."

Gale shrugs, and then smiles at me playfully, "Don't worry about it." I think he's warmed up to the idea of Finn and I. "Can you help me get on his good side? There's a good chance he might be in the arena with me."

I grin, "You two would get along pretty well. I know he's what- five years older than you? But that really doesn't mean anything." Gale does have a point. Finnick and Johanna are lethal, and they weren't even Careers. That's when I get the idea. "I know what we're gonna do. We're gonna train like Careers. Johanna and I are going in for sure, and it's either gonna be you or Haymitch. Finnick, Cashmere, Blight and Gloss- the odds are in their favor in the sense that they have more victors. But still, it couldn't hurt for all of us to get in shape to fight."

"So, when do we start?" Gale asks.

"Tomorrow, I guess." I shrug. I say goodbye to Gale, and as I'm walking out, he stops me.

"Katniss? You might wanna cover that up.." He smirks at me. I look down and realize my robe has been loosely tied the whole time, leaving my hickey-covered neck visible. I blush, and cover my neck with my hair.

I visit Haymitch and Johanna next. Hazelle is cooking some type of stew on the stove, and I can smell it before I even open the door. Johanna is yelling at Haymitch in another room. I can only hear what she's saying. "Do you even think that'll work?... Come on!... Wait, you wouldn't tell them... But they're our friends... A lot of the districts, um 3, 4, 7, 8, and 11... Ugh. I don't even wanna talk about this anymore." Johanna storms out of the room, and frowns when she sees me. "Not you. I'm not in the mood to have a Quarter Quell pity party." She huffs. Hazelle and I exchange a look, and she shrugs. Haymitch comes out a minute later, rubbing his head.

"You again." Haymitch frowns. "I heard enough of you last night." Hazelle shakes her head, and goes back to chopping vegetables. "Jo's going home for a little. Her friend's sick, and she's just... not doing too well. Not that I blame her. Look, sweetheart. I'm really busy. What do ya want?"

"Tomorrow morning at eight thirty sharp, meet Gale, Finnick and I in front of the big oak tree behind my house. We're training."

"Training?"

"We're training like careers. We have 4 months to make some victors into victors again." I walk out, closing the door a little too hard. When I walk across the manicured grass to get back home, I see Rory kissing Prim goodbye. As I get closer, they pull away, and Rory scrambles home. Prim looks at me, scared.

"Katniss, please don't tell mom? She'll freak out." She pleads.

I smile. "Of course not, I wouldn't dream of it. Just one question, are you two dating?"

Prim blushes and gives an excited smile. "We're officially going out, as of a few minutes ago."

I hug Prim, happy for the first time today, "I'm really happy for you. Let's go inside." My mood drops considerately when I realize I'll never see Prim get married, whether its to Rory or another boy. All these victors have known each other for years, and I haven't. The odds never seem to be in my favor. I don't tell Prim that. We chit-chat for a little. She tells me about school, and the play, and boys. I like this sister-sister bonding. We're silenced as we step into the house, as we see my mother yelling at a towel-clad Finnick. "Oh god." I whisper to Prim. She nods in agreement. Whatever's going on, this can't be good.

"Get out of my house!" My mother yells, wielding a kitchen knife. If she were to try to stab him, it wouldn't end well for her.

"Um, mom?" I literally step in between them, "This is my house, actually. Your house is over there." I point in the general direction of the Seam. "If I die, which will probably happen in the near future, you and Prim'll have to move back to the Seam. We're here because of me. And I could kick you out if I wanted to." It's a little bit harsh and I regret my choice of words, but I don't apologize.

My mother seems taken aback, and almost hurt, but quickly composes herself to her usual eerily calm mannerism. "I would think that you'd respect me a little bit more. I'm your mom."

"You're my mother, not my mom." I correct her. "Who raised Prim and I? I did. Not you."

"Katniss," Finn warns me gently. "You might want to think about what you're saying."

I shake my head, laughing in repulsion at his words. "I know what I'm saying. Now listen to me, mother. You don't own me, you're not in charge of me, you have no control over anything I say and do. I barely have control over that. Now could you please give me a break?" Prim scurries to the kitchen, and sits at the table, reading a magazine. She is the constant. Prim remains unchanging as my world combusts from the inside out. I turn to Finnick, my expressions softening considerably. "Can we talk?"

He nods, and we walk down the hallway into the study. "Hey, are you okay? I know that none of this is... good. This is all so fucked up. But we need to try to stay strong. For each other and everyone else." Finn kisses my forehead sympathetically. I know this is hard on him too, but I can tell he's holding onto the small beacon of hope that he won't be reaped. At least he might be safe.

"I know what we're gonna do. We're gonna train like Careers." I tell him my plan, optimistically. "There's only been 74 victors, and only a handful of them, 58 I think, are still alive. We'll study their techniques and their weaknesses, if any."

Finnick nods slowly. "Sounds good, I guess. Hold on, I need to call can listen in, if you want." Finnick walks across the room to the phone, and dials a number he must have called a lot, and puts the receiver to his ear and pushes a button so I can hear the conversation. It rings, and then the person on the other end finally picks it up.

"Hello?"

"Grant, it's me."

"Finnick? Holy shit! It's been... too long. How are you holding up?"

"I'm alright. Jo's flipping the fuck out."

"Johanna... well she had a bad time. You should see Annie."

Finn's face pales. "Oh God... is she alright?"

Grant scoffs into the phone on his end. "She wouldn't leave her room. We had to get Mags and your sister to drag her out. She's okay now. Just very upset. She thinks it's gonna be her."

Finnick runs a hand through his hair. "Remind her how many victors we've had."

"I just feel bad for Jo and your girlfriend, Katniss. They're really fucked."

Finn sighs, and strokes my cheek supportively. "Grant, say hi to Katniss. Katniss, this is Grant. He was my mentor after the Games." I say hello.

"Nice to finally meet you. After your tribute parade, Finn wouldn't shut up about you. Finn, why do you get all the girls?"

"It's because I'm so ridiculously attractive." he jokes.

"Who wants to mentor this year?" Grant asks, "I mean I know you're gonna be there either way. Annie's out of the question, and I don't wanna make Mags go."

"That leaves you and a few others."

"I stopped mentoring after Annie's Games. Snow didn't need me to be a whore and you could take care of yourself." There's a loud bang in the background. "Sorry, the wife has her friends over. Natalie! Look, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Grant."

"Hey, Finn? Be careful."

Finnick hangs up the phone. "Grant's wife, Natalie, was also a victor. She won the 58th Games. They don't want to have kids, because they're scared they'll get reaped... Could you imagine being a little kid, and being terrified that your parents will get reaped? It's terrible."

I lay my head on his shoulder. "We should do something." My time with Finnick is limited, and I want to spend every possible minute with him. "Or better, can we just lay here?" Finn picks me up from the wooden chair, and deposited me on my, rather our, bed. We lay there on the bed, cuddled together, saying nothing. Just laying in his arms is all I really want to do. After a while, I just start to sob quietly, but I can't stop. "Why now? For the very first time, everything's going good in my life. My family is fed, we have a good house, and I have you. Disregard the whole prostitute part and it's a perfect life. I'm finally happy. And he decides to ruin it. What if it wasn't us? What if someone else pissed Snow off? There are so many victors, it could be any of them. It could easily have been Gloss or Blight or even Annie."

Finnick shakes his head. "You're probably right. It could've been a lot of different things. But let's not focus on that. I love you, you love me, nothing else matters. We have each other for now, and that's all we need." He tilts his head down to face me, and brushes his lips against mine. He lingers there for a moment, before pulling away. Finn runs the pad of his thumbs under my eyes, wiping away my tears and streaked eye makeup. I must look like a mess, but I know that Finnick doesn't care. I just want to stay like this forever, me and him.

We meet Haymitch and Gale in my backyard early, every single morning. My mother puts us on a diet so we gain weight in muscle. Most Capitol people would freak out at the idea of gaining weight, but in District 12, it's a great thing to say you've gained a few pounds. The first few weeks, we focus on survival skills – building fires and shelter, as well as hunting animals and finding edible plants and berries. Then we practice building stamina. We run back in forth the whole district, going on jogs for over two hours at a time. Haymitch has a hard time with that. Finnick and I have other ways of building our stamina that don't involve Gale and Haymitch, and they make sure to reference how active we are whenever they get the chance. After that, we focus on combat. Finnick and I spar with thin branches, Haymitch teaches us how to throw knives, and I teach them how to properly climb a tree. Gale explains snares and Finnick (who's a pro with hand-to-hand combat) teaches us how to be agile enough to deflect these techniques. The worst part of all of this is that my appointments have been very frequent – four or five, and sometimes six every day after I'm exhausted from training all day.

Three weeks before the reaping, Finnick packs his bags to head home to 4. "I'll call you every day." He promises. "And no matter what happens, I believe in you. I'll be there every step of the way, and maybe we'll be able to bring you home." I kiss him goodbye, and try not to act teary when he says his goodbyes. Even Gale hugs him goodbye, and Prim seems sad to see him go. That might be the last time I get to see my boyfriend, ever again.

District 12 is the first to get reaped, and it's much different than last year's. My mother wakes Prim and I up an hour later, as usual, but I get dressed differently. I put on one of my most impractically fashionable outfits in my closet – a tight blood red dress and high heels, with my hair pin-straight and smoky eye makeup. My lipstick matches my dress exactly. Prim and my mother weep over breakfast. I don't eat anything. As I walk out of my home in the Victor's Village, I say goodbye to the things I didn't even think I would miss – my father's old hunting jacket, my bows and arrows, Prim's stuffed animals (I left a goodbye note for her and my mother tucked into one of Prim's desk drawers), and even Buttercup ,that hideous pain-in-the-ass of a cat.

I stand alone in a roped-off pen, with Haymitch and Gale in a similar one on my right. The whole district watches on. I can tell all of them are secretly relived they don't have to worry about participating this year. Effie isn't energetic at all this year. She constantly sniffles as she gives her speech, and doesn't bother to fix her golden wig when it shifts to the side.

It takes her a few minutes to get my name out of the bowl, even though it's all obvious that it's going to me, she still quietly sobs as she reads Katniss Everdeen. I'm surprised when Effie pulls out the boy's name: Haymitch Abernathy. I was expecting Gale to be reaped, it still feels surreal. This is going to be much harder for him having being friends with most of all the other victors. I only know seven or eight of them. We're all shocked when Gale jumps up and shouts, "I volunteer." Hazelle screams.

The half-hour for goodbyes is overemotional to say the least. My mother and Prim are crying almost as hard as I am, and I'm not able to promise them that I can win. Madge even gets a bit teary eyed, and she kisses me on the cheek, telling me that she'll see me soon. I know I don't have a chance this year. Hazelle and the kids stop by. I make sure Hazelle promises to never sign any of them up for tessarae, and I tell Rory to take care of Prim for me. The one visitor I'm not expecting is one of Peeta's older brothers. He awkwardly comes in, and talks to quickly I'm afraid he'll pass out. But he's as eloquent as his late brother, and says something beautiful. "I know what you can do. The whole district believes in you, you've been fighting since you were ten. Go out there, and come home. Your family needs that." He even hugs me, and I hug him back. It's a little uncomfortable since he's all sweaty and I'm a few inches taller than him in my high heels.

On the train, Effie is sobbing hysterically. I'm all cried out. Haymitch is as drunk as ever. Haymitch also seems to be mad at Gale. When I ask Gale why, he responds: "The old man's crazy. He thinks it was the wrong thing for me to volunteer. It'll be easier for me. I know three victors. He knows all of them. I don't regret doing it." I don't understand Gale's actions. But I have a pretty good feeling he might regret volunteering. As selfish as it sounds, I would.

A/N: Don't forget to review! As always, feel free to PM me anything you'd like to know or suggestions.