Sherlock and the Little People
By Doctor Napalm
Chapter 4
"Take the sheet off of your head."
Sherlock Holmes turned his head under the bed sheet in the general direction that Molly Hooper was standing.
"No. Nobody needs to see me like this."
"Everyone in the hospital has seen you like that. Take off the sheet or I'm leaving."
Sherlock slowly pulled the sheet down to reveal his still green features. The corners of his mouth were curled down in a frown. He pushed his lower lip out a bit more and looked up at Molly. "I want to go home."
"Just a while longer," she said patiently, "that's all. I think the green color might befading a little. You could be back to normal in a couple of weeks. Pouting isn't going to speed things up a bit."
Sherlock gave her a determined look. "I have been a patient patient. I have been poked and prodded, tested and re-tested. I've given enough blood to keep the Red Cross supplied for the rest of the year. That's not to mention other bodily fluids." He paused for a moment and smiled. "You'll be happy to hear that my swimmers are in the high normal range, by the way."
Molly blushed. "I did not need to know that, Sherlock."
"I have been X-rayed, CAT-scanned, PET-scanned, MRI'ed, EKG'ed, EEG'ed, plus had a half dozen other fancy tests they haven't even had time to create three letter acronyms for. They're running out of things they can do to me. They haven't found anything wrong with me except that I'm the wrong color. I'm ready to go home, I have work to do."
"Sherlock…"
"I'm serious, Molly. They've hidden my clothes. I want them back or I'm walking home in a hospital gown with my beautiful green bum in full view of everyone. You know I'll do it."
Molly sighed. She knew he would. The rent-a-cop security at Bart's would be no match for him and someone that paraded around the royal residence in a bed sheet would have no problem being seen in a hospital gown.
"Let me see what I can do. I'm not your primary physician, you know. I'll have to talk to people."
"See that you do. I need to get busy on the case of the dead midget."
"Um, about that…" Molly interrupted.
"What?"
"He's gone."
"What you mean 'He's gone?'"
Molly tilted her head back and looked at the ceiling. She had been dreading this conversation. She took a deep breath and blew it out quickly.
"With all of the excitement caused by you passing out, getting you into a room, and everything else, I didn't get back to the morgue until the next morning. When I walked in, the leprechaun, his clothing, and all of his belongings were gone."
"Will everyone PLEASE stop calling it a leprechaun!" Sherlock huffed. "A dead midget! That's all it was. I might tolerate calling him a 'little person,' but there is no such thing as leprechauns. A pee-wee person, an itty-bitty body, a..." He hesitated. "Gone? And you have no idea where? Did anyone check the video from the security cameras?"
"No one has the faintest idea. There's nothing on the security videos, he just vanished into thin air."
"Impossible. Bodies don't just vanish, someone or something moved it. What do you have?"
"We have the autopsy order, the X-rays, and Billy's inventory of his belongings. Lestrade has some photos taken of the body before it was transported here."
Sherlock thought for a long moment. "Then that will have to do." Looking sternly at Molly he said, "Get me out of here or I'm walking!"
ɸ
Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade of the Metropolitan Police Service was leaned back in his chair with his feet resting on the corner of the desk. Seargent Sally Donovan and Anderson from forensics sat across the desk from him. Both were looking somewhat uncomfortable.
"So, do we have anything new on the leprechaun murder?" he asked, waving a manila folder in the air.
"Not much," said Donovan. "He mysteriously appeared on the grid about two years ago. We haven't been able to find anything earlier than that. His address is an open field, nobody in the area claims to know him. There's no paper trail whatsoever, no credit cards, no birth records. No legal documents of any kind that we've been able to uncover. Everything we found in his wallet was phony. We also did a canvas of the area where the body was found but didn't get anything of importance there either. His trail is cold as clay."
"Witness protection?" asked Lestrade.
"I'm looking into that," Donovan replied, "but I haven't heard back from any of the inquiries I sent out yet."
"Forensics?" Lestrade said, turning his head towards Anderson.
"Nothing here either," answered Anderson. "We have the crime scene photos plus copies of X-rays and a list of belongings that we got from Bart's. We took prints but they aren't on record anywhere. We also did a careful search of the morgue; there's no indication that the little shite was ever there at all."
Lestrade frowned. "I know both of you aren't going to like this," he said, "but I think it's time to call on the Green Man."
Donovan and Anderson both smiled at the green reference despite their mutual distaste for Sherlock Holmes. His recent misfortunes had given both of them a lot of laughter during the last few days.
"More like the Green Hornet," said Donovan.
"No," snickered Anderson, "the Green Weenie."
ɸ
Three hours later, Sherlock knocked on Molly's office door. "I'm a free man," he announced with a smile as he entered her tiny space.
"I think the threat of seeing your shiny green bum walking down Giltspur Street did the trick," Molly teased.
"Also, Lestrade has officially asked for my assistance in regards to the missing midget, so may I be permitted to examine the scene properly?"
"Most certainly, sir!" Molly said as she stood up and walked around the desk, "this way please!"
Sherlock followed her out the door towards the morgue. "I'll need to see the video from that day as well."
"I'll have the security department provide you with a copy when we're done in the morgue," she replied.
Billy the intern was busy sweeping the already clean floor when Molly and Sherlock entered. Today's T-shirt was dark blue with a Wong-Baker pain picture chart on the front. Three additional pictures had been added to the numbered chart. A number zero replaced the happy face with a peaceful one that was obviously mellowed out on drugs. Number eleven showed the face screaming in agony and the twelfth picture added blood spurting out of the eyes.
Setting aside the broom, he greeted them, "Good afternoon, Doctor Hooper and Mister Holmes! How may I be of assistance to you today?" He grinned a bit when he noticed Sherlock was still rather green, but didn't comment on it.
Sherlock glanced around the morgue and then asked, "What did the police forensics team look at when they came in about the body that disappeared?"
"The leprechaun?"
Sherlock closed his eyes for a second in exasperation but didn't rail about the term "leprechaun." Letting out a little sigh he answered, "Yes, where did they look?"
"Pretty much nowhere; there really wasn't much to look at. Everything except the X-rays and the empty property box were gone. They asked me a bunch of questions, gave the place a quick look, and then left."
"Tell me, step by step, and in detail, what transpired from the moment the body arrived to when it was discovered missing," said Sherlock.
"Well, let me think…" Billy rubbed the stubble on his chin with his thumb and forefinger as he thought for a moment.
"Joe and Barney came in with the body on a collapsible gurney and moved the bag onto that exam table over there," he pointed with his finger.
Sherlock held up his hand. "Bag?"
"Yeah, most of the people that come in here horizontally are in a body bag," Billy replied. "And there are a few vertical ones that ought to be," he added jokingly.
"There was no bag when I saw the body. Where is it now?"
Billy frowned as he thought about the question. "Mike and I took him out of the bag when we put him on the table over in the x-ray department."
"What was done with the bag?"
"They were supposed to put it in with the bio-hazard waste."
"Supposed to?"
"Well…" Billy hesitated and looked at Molly with raised eyebrows.
Molly cleared her throat, "Ahem…heavy duty body bags are relatively expensive. Some of the staff has been known to occasionally put the nicer bags in storage for later. I guess you could call it 'recycling.' They're returned to the ambulance crews that brought them in for, uh…monetary consideration. That's only if they aren't contaminated with blood or other organic matter. However, that is NOT official policy, and some people could get in trouble if other people knew about it."
"And this bag was…?"
"Nice and clean," said Billy.
"So there is a chance it is in storage somewhere."
"Uh, yeah, probably so."