Chapter Seven
The Cave of Wonders
I had to get Aladdin to the palace, he was perfect for Jasmine. But the problem became, how to do it. Then I remembered Jafar's crazy obsession with The Cave of Wonders and the magic lamp inside it. The lamp was said to house a genie, who would grant three wishes to whoever released him. I had to find it.
The Cave of Wonders is easier to find than Aladdin is on any given day, you might as well gave me a path with arrows on it Disney, really, it's called follow the North Star for a reason. The Cave of Wonders woke up slower than usual, which told me that he wasn't in a good mood, if it was even a guy at all that is. "Who dare disturbs my-" he began shouting by seeing as it was only a bird, he lightened up, "Okay what do you want?" I smiled at this for The Cave was known to be strict and all powerful, "I seek entrance, inside of you I guess." "Who are you?" he boomed again, sounding like Absalom the Caterpillar. Shaking nervously, I answered, "Iago the parrot" The Cave was about to open and then stopped when I said parrot, "Seriously?" he began laughing, "You're a parrot! Really. You want to enter me, for what!" "Now why would I tell you that?" I replied, getting somewhat annoyed with this conversation. "Because I haven't had dinner yet" The Cave answered, I was confused, why was he talking about dinner? Then it hit me. I sighed, "Look bud, if that's what you're into, more power to you. But I just want the lamp okay?"
The Cave nodded and opened his mouth, "You may enter" he said, which I did, very quickly, because The Cave of Wonders apparently has a thing for birds and it's disgusting.
Deep within the Cave, was several large mountains of gold. Now this is where it gets interesting, because how am I supposed to find a lamp in the first place, in this mess? The Cave must be very fat, because the gold never seemed to end. I cannot lie here, I did wallow and roll around in it.
You're surrounded by gold in a large room, tell me you wouldn't do that too. If you don't then you have no soul. That's right I said it, and there's nothing you can do about it. But don't press the escape button please the story isn't over yet and to be honest it's just rude to stop in the middle of a story especially one that you're this invested in, so do yourself a favor and keep reading.
After having indulged my dream of rolling around in a large pile of gold, I proceeded with finding the lamp. I spent seven whole days, collecting each lamp in the entire Cave of Wonders and rubbing the heck out of them. After I had gone through almost 7.5 million lamps I found the magic one, in a closed off section of the room. At that moment, I felt extremely proud of myself and angry at the Cave for doing this to me. He could've told where it was. But no, the Cave had to be a big jerk and let me go searching for days inside of him! What an asshole.
It couldn't be as simple as just taking it. For one thing, I smelt the lava that was poorly hidden underneath the rocks and could guess that the booby trap involved with the lamp had something to do with the lava. I looked up a saw a small hole in the ceiling, it would be big enough for me to fly through and carry the lamp, but I also guessed that the opening would close as soon as the lamp was removed from the pedestal. So I did the one thing I do, I picked up a similar looking lamp and replaced it, and what do you know? Nothing happened. That so far, is the only time in history that the booby trap did not go off using that method. That makes me happier than anyone could ever be.
I didn't want to rub it, for that would bring the genie out, but I didn't know if the genie was good or bad, I couldn't just bring it to Aladdin without knowing. So I rubbed it.
A loud roar and accompanying smoke filled the room, followed by the presence of the Genie we all know and love. Let me say right now, he is the most annoying person I have ever met, ever. After explaining the rules of a genie to no one particular, Genie looked down at me. "You've got to be kidding me" he said, "I've been released by a bird!" I nodded and spoke, "Yes, so if you don't mind I'd like to start with the wish making" Genie perked up a little bit and screamed with joy for no reason, which was multiplied by the echo of the Cave. "So what'll it be?"
I had to think long and hard on this, "My first wish. Is to be good" Genie was rolling up his sleeves and then suddenly stopped, "What did you just say?" "I want to be good" I repeated, "That's not a wish!" Genie said, "Did you try gold or women?" I shook my head, at that moment it was only I could think of and the only true wish that I had. Then I thought harder, "I wish that you would stop talking" Genie immediately pulled out a zipper and put it on his mouth, closing it. This is easier than I thought, "I wish that Aladdin would find you" Genie went back into the lamp, rather sadly, "I wish that you forgot everything about me" The lamp giggled a bit and moved back on the pedestal. Without so much as word, I turned around and left the cave.