A/N: Sorry, I had internet issues that wouldn't let me update.

Thomas leads us into a room I've never seen before, with at least 5 armed guards in front. Inside, there's a large table, with an eerily plain looking woman at the head. She looks to be in her 50's, and has gray hair that looks so perfectly coifed, I can't help but wonder if it's a wig. Her eyes are gray, but not like the gray of Seam eyes. Her's look kind of like slush you want to melt away already. She must be from around here. I recognize Plutarch, but that's about it. We all sit down, and I sit in between Haymitch and Finnick. The woman introduces herself to us as President Alma Coin. Her right-hand man and shadow, Boggs, Plutarch, and his very Capitol-looking assistant, Fulvia Cardew. There's also a man named Dalton, a District 10 refugee. I know everyone else. President Coin calls everyone to attention, then Fulvia speaks.

"We- well I, have created an ingenious idea. We are going to make these advertisements, that the Capitol will see. Beetee over here can hack into the computers and have it show on Capitol television. Propos, Plutarch called them."

"Basically, we're gonna dress you up as the Mockingjay and you need to make a public service announcement to the rebels who are in all the other districts and the Capitol to let them know you're alive and fighting on our side." Plutarch tells me.

"I am?" I ask. This whole rebellion thing is still so overwhelming, and I really don't know how to let it all sink in. I backtrack a little, "I mean like I'm obviously against the Capitol, without a doubt, but I didn't think that all of this would be happening, and so quickly too. It's just really... wow. Can I think for a minute?" I ask all of them. President Coin gives me a curt nod. My head throbs, a random excruciating pain from out of nowhere. I bite down on my tongue so hard I taste the metallic tinge of blood.

Finnick's eyes meet mine. He looks worried. I press my hand against my left temple, where Johanna struck me with that cylinder. Mild concussion. It may be mild, but it hurts majorly. I manage to be able to speak, so I tell him quietly. "I want to go home. But I don't have one anymore." He says nothing, but takes my cheeks in his hands and kisses my forehead.

"I know, I know." He whispers, soothingly. I lie down in his lap, which is very unprofessional, but I really don't care. Finnick decides to speak for me. "Can we give Katniss a little break? Guys, seriously. She's only eighteen, and she's a real person. She's been dealing with so much shit for the past few years, even before the Hunger Games and all that. And these past few years have been so much worse. You have no idea, okay? How much she was looking forward to dying. It got to that. So can you all just please let her try to recuperate? Or is that too much to ask. Nobody ever asked to be rescued from an arena, we would have been perfectly content fighting to death with our best friends, because at least when you're dead, they leave you alone. In the arena, ask anyone who wasn't in on it. They would've hated to be the one victor."

Nobody says anything. Nobody has anything to say. Thomas looks at his feet. What he's said – it's scary. And it's scary because it's true. I sit up, and re-braid my hair. Haymitch pats my shoulder. After a few moments, President Coin finally speaks. "Wow, I'm impressed. Mr. Odair, I didn't know you were capable of sympathy."

"Let me guess, you thought I was a shallow, fake-tanned flirtatious hoe, didn't you?" Finnick fires back.

"Finnick..." Haymitch warns him. I grab onto the table so tightly my knuckles turn white.

Alma Coin, who I've decided I don't really like that much, speaks again in her accent-less District 13 monotone, "There is no time to give, no time to waste. We have an uprising on our hands, and you expect me to wait until your feelings are in check? We need our mockingjay, and we need her now."

"When would you ideally like to air the propos?" asks Haymitch.

Fulvia looks at her clipboard. "Three days from now, at eight o'clock in the evening."

"Here's my idea. Plutarch, get me a hovercraft. I'll bring her to District Twelve tomorrow for the day, and we'll back in time for dinner. It might be better for her to see the destruction and the ruins, I think that would really motivate her." Haymitch spells out the plan, referring to me in 3rd person as if I'm not even here.

Everyone turns to me, and they await my expression, trying to see if this will work. I shrug. "I think that would help a lot."

President Coin presses her lips together tightly, and after a moment of thinking, nods her head. "Fine. Boggs, assign them a hovercraft. And headgear. You'll be taking off at eight o'clock sharp, and you'll be back by five o'clock sharp. Not a minute after. Understood?"

"Thank you." I smile for the first time in a while.

"You're all dismissed. With the exception of Haymitch. I need to speak to you." We all leave, and go back upstairs. I want to know what she has to say to Haymitch. I'd imagine she'd complain about how I'm mentally unstable, or how she can't believe that the fate of the world is being put on hold by some teenager's emotions. I can't believe it either.

Finnick and I get off at 10, even though the rooms are on 3. "You have a doctor's appointment. I'll be waiting right here." He kisses me quickly, and it takes a lot of restraint to not melt into the kiss.

I'm expecting a doctor's appointment where they check your vitals and take blood, but instead, I'm faced with a gray eyed doctor sitting in a large lounge chair, drinking a mug of something that's steaming hot. I sit down awkwardly on the couch. "I'm Dr. Aurelius." He extends his hand. I shake it, and lean back, wrapping myself in a large throw blanket. "I specialize in helping the mentally unstable here. I'll be your psychologist for as long as you need me to."

"I'm not crazy, I don't need a head doctor." I insist. But then again, what if I am?

He smiles in a way that makes me think a lot of people have said that before. Dr. Aurelius adjusts his glasses. He has kind eyes, and even though they're the same color as President Coin's, they seem warmer, and he seems trustworthy. I wouldn't be able to tell you why. "I know, I believe you. You do have some minor memory loss and confusion from your concussion, but I'm sure there's more to you than that. So tell me, start with the basic facts. What do you know for sure?"

It seems like a dumb little game. But I humor him anyways. He's here to help. "My name is Katniss Everdeen. I'm eighteen years old. I'm from District Twelve. There is no District 12. I'm in District 13. I have no parents, but I have my little sister, Prim. She just turned fifteen."

"Very good." He smiles at me, and scribbles something down on his clipboard. "Alright, Katniss. Tell me about your experience with everything with your Hunger Games up until you came here. I know you don't want to talk about it, but I think it might help. Remember, everything you say in here is confidential. So just let everything out that you want to. Nothing you say is wrong."

I sigh. Where to begin? "Well, when I volunteered for my sister, I wasn't even planning on coming back alive. District Twelve just didn't win. I just wanted to save my sister's life. And I did. I knew how to use a bow and arrow – for as long as I could remember, I'd been hunting outside the district to feed my family. I did really well before the games, and they seemed to like me. The boy Peeta, from my district, he had a crush on me for a while, and made it known. I went along with the whole star-crossed lovers thing because it might help me get sponsors. And it did. Slowly, I fell in love with him, but I had to kill him. I killed a lot of people: Glimmer, Marvel, Cato, the girl from District 4, and Peeta. That's 5 lives I took. And the guilt from that is overwhelming. I get the worst nightmares every single night. I can't sleep through the night, at all. And even if you're a victor, you're still not a winner. The Capitol has ways of making you their prisoner, and they threaten your loved ones if you don't do it. Those make the nightmares and everything else worse. I'm trying to keep it all together for the sake of my family and friends, but I can feel myself slipping away every single day. I feel like I'm going off the deep end. My life is too – it's too much for me. I love Finnick and I'm pretty sure without him I'd be so far gone."

It's out before I can stop it, and in a matter of minutes, I've spilled my whole life to a man I just met. Then again, he is a doctor, and everything I say is confidential, but still. I really should've watched what I said. Dr. Aurelius seems to thing what I'm saying is alright. He scribbles something on his clip board, and smiles at me, taking another sip of whatever he's drinking. "That's very good, Katniss. Well, that you can tell me this. Tell me, please. Two things. First of all, it seems like you've only been taking care of your sister for a good portion of your life. This sounds a little trivial, but do you have any time for yourself? What do you do for fun? And then, please, what are your nightmares about? Try to describe them."

I have to stop and think. What do I do for fun? Sex with Finn. I can't say that though. That's not it. "Well, Finn lives with me for about half the year. We hang out. Or, I spend time with Johanna or my friend Madge. I used to spend a good amount of time in the woods with Gale, but we're still pretty rocky. After I won my Games, I had to do some things, to keep all of them safe. But he wasn't able to see that it was only to protect them, and we basically stopped talking. Enough of that. My nightmares? Well there are a few about my father dying in the mines, which is less of a nightmare are more of a horrifying dramatization. Also, some of losing my loved ones and I'm hopeless to help. Then, there were a lot of nightmares of my allies who died, and the people I killed. Or worse, the ally that I killed. I have a really heavy conscience. There's a good portion of those now, but most of mine are either about various terrors from my arenas or some other things I don't even want to describe. I think my worse nightmare was that I was reaped, again. Except that one actually happened, didn't it."

Dr. Aurelius scribbles on his clipboard again, and writes some illegible to me on a white slip of paper. He rips it off his notepad, and puts it next to him. "Alright. Thank you, Katniss. One more thing. Do you ever get flashbacks?"

I have to think about that for a minute. Have I? "I think I have, at least a few times. Not really as much anymore. But they were terrifying. I think the last one was when they announced the Quell. But I was really drunk."

He nods. "Alright then, Katniss." He hands me the slip of paper. "Tomorrow morning, before breakfast, bring this to the main counter in the hospital. I'll see you next week. And remember, you can always stop by if you need to talk."

I shake his hand and fold the paper up, carefully putting it in my pocket. I don't know what it is. Does it really matter? I'm in no rush, anyways. We have all the time in the world, since we're in a place that doesn't even exist. Time has no real meaning. Yeah, we're on a time schedule here, but it could be hours off from the Capitol or back home in 12. It's just like the arena in that sense. I close the door to Dr. Aurelius' office behind me, and Finnick's waiting right there. "How was it?" he asks me.

I shrug. "It was alright, I guess. He gave me something to give to the hospital tomorrow before we leave. I have no idea what it means." I show Finnick the paper, and his face pales. "What is it?" I ask him as he hands it back. I feel like all the air's been sucked out of the room.

"It's a type of medication." Finnick says in a terrible, emotionless monotone. There has to be more. We walk to the elevator. Finally, he speaks again. "I don't know. I mean if it helps you then I guess it's good but I don't think you need it. Forget I said anything."

I take Finnick's face in my hands. "Finn. What is it?"

He looks down. "I don't know exactly. But I know the brand. That's the type of medication they give to Annie..."

I drop my hand from his face, and have to hold onto the wall of the elevator. "Annie? But why? I-I I'm not crazy. Well, you know what I mean." Maybe I am though. I could be going insane, and nobody has the heart to tell me. I don't want to think like that. "I mean I didn't even tell him anything that would make me seem crazy. I just mentioned the nightmares, and not in that much detail anyways..."

Finnick embraces me, and kisses my forehead. He takes my hand, and walks me to my room. I hold the door for him, and he walks in. We're both in shock at what we see. Prim – my little sister – and Rory making out on Prim's bed. Horizontally. Their clothes are all on, but still. I grip the wall so hard my knuckles turn white. After a moment, I clear my throat loudly. Rory looks up, and Prim sits straight up. Rory's out of the room in an instant. "Oh my god. Prim. Really? How old are you?"

"Katniss, don't pull the age thing." Finnick warns me. "I'm staying here to moderate."

I sit down with Prim on her bed. "Look, I think it's cute that you and Rory are dating. I actually am really happy. But please don't be in the room alone with him. Guys might pressure you into things, and I don't want him hurting you. I know he's a good kid, but still, it's my job to take care of you."

"You're more of a mom than mom ever was." Prim mutters, and kisses my cheek. "Sorry, Katniss. How long were you and Finnick going out when you, you know, did it?"

I turn to Finnick, and we both start laughing. He sits down next to me, and I peck him on the lips. He puts his arm around me. I shake my head, and frown a little. "That's a bit different. There were... different circumstances. But I'll tell you when you're older."

"What does that mean?" She asks me.

It's Finnick who answers for me. "It's... complicated. I don't think your sister is ready to talk about it. Give her some time." He looks up at me. "I have a story about Jo to tell you later."

I look over at the clock. It's ten-thirty. I turn to Prim. "You're going to bed, right? I know under-16 year olds have a 10:30 curfew. I'm going next door. I'll be back in like an hour or so. I don't care if you stay up." I close the door behind us. "That was so weird." I tell Finnick. He puts his arm around me, and we walk down the hallway. We end up in Finnick's room. Not that I'd think we'd go anywhere else in all honesty. There's nowhere else to go. I kick off my shoes. "I hate it here." I tell him, flopping down on his bed. "It's terrible."

"I know." Finn groans, curling up next to me. "It's ridiculous, but it could be worse. After the war, we can move anywhere we'd like. Your house, mine, my apartment in the Capitol, some place else." I can't help but lighten up at the idea of that.

"That's only if we win." I point out, "What if we lose?"

Finnick frowns. I don't think either of us want to think about that. But it's a definite possibility. "I don't know. But next year's Hunger Games will be unforgettable." I don't think I want to be around for that.

"Do we know anything about where Jo and Gloss are?" I change the subject to some degree. I miss them. It still hasn't sunk in that Cashmere is gone. "And what about your family in District Four?"

"The Capitol has them hostage somewhere. Gloss doesn't know a lot. And Jo won't crack." Crack? I have to think about what the Capitol would be doing to make them crack. Oh god. Finnick takes in my expression. "Yeah. They kill kids for fun. Don't tell me you'd expect them to be humane by any means. And back in four? I have no idea. I'm so worried. But they're useless to the Capitol, so that's good. They wouldn't go out of their way. If they had you, then that would be a problem."

"I don't like President Coin. Something about her seems... not right." I admit. I should be thanking her for all she's done to save me and my loved one's lives, but instead I'm suspicious of her. It's like she has some type of ulterior motive I don't know about. I shake it out of my head, I'm probably just being paranoid.

Finnick nods. "I got that feeling too. But I think she's just not used to getting her way. If you don't respect her every wish, it's a new thing. They have it a lot differently here." He smiles to himself. "It is a little funny. You're a leader of a rebellion, and she wants to control you. You would think she knows better than that, but I guess she doesn't. I wouldn't worry too much about it. It means she knows she might have to compromise to please you. Like with letting you out tomorrow."

"You're coming with me, right?" I ask him, hopefully. "Well you should come down for a little. I've been hoarding your shirts and boxers, and I'm sure those would better suit you, as opposed to the generic gray everything here."

"I'll be in the hovercraft. It would just feel like an... intrusion for me to go with you. If that makes any sense. I just think you should be by yourself for that." Finn pushes his bronze hair out of his bright eyes, and I see how troubled they look. It still feels weird, knowing that beautiful, funny, flirty Finnick Odair has it worse than I do, and his thoughts get very dark. I think of all he's been through, and all he' going through now. I know for sure that my mother's dead, and that there's nothing left of District 12. Rory, Prim, Leevy and Madge are the proof of that. Finnick on the other hand, has no idea. Communications are down in District 4, so he has no idea whether his family is alive or dead or in hiding, or even worse, captured. I don't even know what he wants them to be. I don't ask.

"I'm gonna get ready for bed. Your sister needs you. She lost her mother, and so do you. I'll be here, but make sure she knows that you're there for her. You haven't seen her much the past few... years, really." Finnick kisses my cheek and says goodnight. I close the door to his room and tiptoe down the hallway to mine.

I try to quietly open the door to the room I share with Prim, but I trip over a chair. Our room is small, and looks like the hotel rooms that they have in the capitol. Two gray twin-sized beds (even though you can only comfortably fit one person), a desk in the corner with two chairs, a dresser with a small square mirror on top. In the drawers are five sets of shirts, pants, underwear and socks for each of us, a pair of shoes they gave us, and a small bathroom with a shower that's also a bathtub, a sink and toilet. The Capitol has spoiled me. Prim still has the clothes she was wearing when she came here, and I still have the underclothes I was wearing in the arena. Luckily, I didn't wake Prim up. She's sitting in her bed, writing in something, maybe a journal. She looks up and smiles a little when she sees me. "Hey." She says, putting the journal and a pencil in her nightstand drawer.

I say hello back, pulling off my clothes and throwing them in the hamper, taking the medication slip and putting it in my nightstand. As I turn back around, I catch a glimpse of my body in the full-length mirror on the door. Bruised and scarred. After my first games, the Capitol perfected my skin. But after my most recent time in the arena, and all the scars developed from a mixture of clumsiness and abusing my body nightly in the Capitol, I don't look as perfect as they'd want me to be. My hair's thinned out from the fog, there are bags under my eyes from nights of no sleep, and the gray orbs are always shiny with unshed tears. I've been getting too thin from the small meals here and of course, the games. I look... broken. Finally, the outside matches the inside.

I draw my eyes away, and put on my generic gray sweatpants and ooh, what a change – my lighter gray tee shirt. I sit down on the edge of my bed, and look at Prim. "Are you okay?" I ask her. The question seems a bit weird and trivial, but still, I feel like I need to ask her. I should be like a mother to her, and if I'm not handling all of this well, I can't imagine she is. Prim's always been the more emotional of the two of us.

"I don't know, Katniss. I mean, all of this happened so soon. We all thought you were gonna die, or at least that you didn't want to live. And now you're here and mom isn't and that's not the upsetting part. I'd pick you over her any day. It's just that everything is gone, and I still can't figure out why. If there's a rebellion, why do we have to be here? Is there even a rebellion, or did they just wanna get rid of District Twelve? The whole thing is so confusing."

I kiss her forehead. "I don't know, either. I'm gonna leave early in the morning to talk to some people, and I'll be back before dinner, okay? After that, I'm gonna talk to some more people, and by then, I'll be able to tell you what's going on." Prim yawns, and turns off the light. I brush my teeth and splash some water on my face, and crawl into my gray bed. I wish Johanna and Gloss were here, but at least they're alive to the best of our knowledge. I have Haymitch, Finnick, and Prim, and as long as I have them, I think I'll be okay. All I really want is answers.

A/N: Wow, 35 chapters. This story really has come a long way. Thanks to everyone who's read up to this, reviewer or not. It really means a lot that I have such continued support.

Reviews = sugar cubes (;