Hi so this is my newest fanfic let me know what you think please. I don't own the characters, Veronica Roth does.
Jump off a train? Jump off a moving train?! What do they think I am? A superhuman? Dauntless. I laugh inwardly at the irony. They think I'm dauntless. I suppose I am really. At least that's what my aptitude said. I always knew I wasn't cut out for Candor anyway. There really were some things that you should keep to yourself. Feel bad for leaving my family but I didn't belong there. I never really felt like I truly belonged there. And apparently I don't. I knew I wasn't Candor but I truly never expected to be Dauntless. I don't really remember how I got here. I think back to that morning. It felt like a dream now
Morning of the Choosing Ceremony
I look into the mirror above my dresser. This could be the last time I'm ever in this room. I decide not to think about it. There were so many good memories here but this wasn't the place for me. I felt kind of guilty about my decision. It was my life though. I couldn't stay here forever. Not if I didn't fit in. When I was younger I used to imagine growing up here. Getting a job in the Merciless Mart, marrying a man dressed in his smart suit. Sitting on our porch watching our children running around the garden. It seemed perfect at the time. I understand now, I can't stay here.
"Christina!" My mother called "Time to go"
Well, looks like this is it. I turn of my light and close my door behind me. Leaving behind my old life. I go down the stairs one at a time, looking at each picture hung up on the wall, being transported back to my childhood memories. It was time to go now. This wasn't my life anymore, I can't pretend it still is. I look into my mother's eyes when I reach the last step, even though I was above her our eyes were at the same level. I saw the fear and love in her eyes. She knew. She knew what I would decide, I'd be surprised if she didn't, she was Candor through and through. I was sure she always knew.
"Don't worry, Chrissy." My mother said, her eyes filling with tears. "I will love you no matter what."
I take my mother into a great bear hug. My tears falling down my face. My heart clenches when she reverted back to my childhood nickname. She hadn't called me that in years.
"I love you, mummy. I won't forget you. I promise." My mother pulls back from the hug, wiping the tears from my face with her thumb.
"Be brave, Christina."
We walk arm in arm, gathering with the throng of people, being pushed towards the Hub. This was my life, it was only just beginning.
We walked into the Hub together and waited with everyone else to get the next lift. I noticed all of the stiffs walking up the stairs in unison. Sometimes I respect them and sometimes downright odd. Why would you go up all those flights of stairs? They move in a sea of grey. I shake my head in disbelief and walk into the lift, squashed into the corner by the sheer amount of people. The temperature in the small lift was clambering and I was clammy. My hands are sweating but I'm not sure if it's from the heat or from the massive life decision I'm about to make. I'd say the latter.
We reach the top floor and my mother hugs me before I have to go with the other soon-to-be initiates.
"Don't worry." My mother whispers into my ear. "It's time for you to go. I will love you forever."
We walk in opposite directions. I won't see her for weeks. I've never been away for more than a day before. I know that I will miss them but I think it's the right decision. I remember my mother's last words and straighten my back. If I'm going to be in Dauntless I have to be brave.
I go and stand in line, I don't even pay attention to the kids by my side. It won't make a difference anyway. I know I have to be brave but I can't help but be afraid. I don't want to leave my family, but I don't want to stay. My whole childhood flashes in front of my eyes. Almost like this is my death. But it's not death its being reborn. I vaguely hear Marcus make his opening speech.
"Welcome." He bellows, his voice echoing through the room. "Welcome to the choosing ceremony" he spread his arms wide, indicating towards us. I zone out after this only catching the odd word. All I can think about is my family, the ones I will be leaving behind. They are the only things I will regret in the future. For just now I relish in memories. My sister, my mother, my father. I remember the good memories. The times we all smiled. I remember the bad memories, when arguments would go on for days. That was the problem with Candor. I didn't want to be in arguments but if you can only tell the truth then there is always going to be something we don't agree on. I usually just pretended, keeping up the façade for my father's sake. He was the only one who cared. He took so much pride in his faction. I never wanted him to be disappointed in me. I hear Marcus call my name. I walk up to the big metal bowls, there are 5 there but my eyes focus in on two. My two. One filled with glass and the other will coal. One represents my family and the other represents a new life. MU hand wavers and I meet my mother's eyes across the room. She gives me a small nod, that was all I needed. I work up my resolve, slicing my hand and hold it over the Dauntless bowl. I hear the thunderous applause of my new family. I look over to the people dressed in black and white. I'm on the receiving end of some seriously bad looks but my eyes meet my mother's and she smiles. For once I had made her proud.
"Be brave." She mouths to me. Her eyes filling with tears. I turn around and walk to stand with the Dauntless initiates. I too was a Dauntless initiate. My life was about to begin.
Soon the Ceremony is over. We run out the room, us transfers turn to go to the lift but everyone carries on.
"What's happening?" an Erudite boy yells.
"Just go with it!" I shout back, running to catch up with everyone else. I ignore my earlier doubt of why anyone would choose the stairs and follow suit. This wasn't like Abnegation. We weren't running in unison as one. We were running together as individuals. A smile lights up my face. This is where I'm meant to be. My shouts of joy join the others, a sense of elation lighting up my spirit. We run through the front door, panting for breath. My body was burning but it was good. I finally felt something. I belong. These are my people. I follow the Dauntless around the corner, towards the train tracks. I cringe inwardly, I know what's about to happen. I've watched them before. I chose to be here. I have to do this. I hear the train in the distance, its headlights lighting up the group. I hear murmurs around me.
"Oh no. Are we supposed to jump on?" I hear someone mutter. I was about to reply when a Stiff answered for me.
"Yes" she says. She doesn't sound nervous at all. Not what I expected from and Abnegation kid. She's the only Abnegation here. I don't suppose many of them transfer into such a wild faction. We all spread out into a thin line as the train get closer, I stay with the transfers. We all sprint along next to the last carriage, I quickly throw myself sideways and land awkwardly in the carriage. I stand up and notice that the Stiff still isn't on, she's close but not close enough. I grab the edge and reach out to grab her arm, pulling her on board.
"Thanks you." She says breathlessly.
"That's ok." I say, my eyes widening as I catch view of a ginger erudite whose falling behind. His friend reaches out to get him but he's too far away. He falls to his knees and I can see that the Stiff is feeling uneasy. I can see why. We just watched someone's life end before our very eyes. That boy will be factionless from now on, I would rather be dead than factionless. The Stiff goes very pale.
"You all right?" I ask. The stiff looks up at me, probably noticing my height. All the woman in my family are tall. The stiff nods at me.
"I'm Christina." I say, putting my hand out, remembering too late that the Abnegation generally avoid contact. She sticks out her hand and shakes mine, her clammy hand almost limp in mine.
"Beatrice" She replies. I look at her then, taking in her narrow face, long nose and turned down mouth. She's not pretty but with some make-up she sure could be a stand-out. Her blonde hair glistens in the light, I want to talk to her more. I've never spoken to a Stiff before, they don't really beg for attention.
"Do you know where we are going?" I yell over the roaring wind. She doesn't answer me but instead sits on the floor. I raise an eybrow, was this a sign of weakness or did it mean something.
" A fast train means wind, wind means falling over. Get down. " She tells me. Smart, she could almost be an Erudite. I wish I had that kind of intuitive. I sit down next to her, huddling against the wall. I can barely hear her over the strong wind but I hear some words.
".. guess…. Headquarters… don't… where…is." I get the gist of what she is saying.
"Does anyone?" I ask a smile playing at my lips. "It's like they just popped out a hole in the ground or something." I smile at her, I think maybe one day we could be friends. The wind in the carriage gets stronger and stronger, causing plenty of initiates to fall over, causing an almost comedic scene. I smile a Beatrice, acknowledging her idea. We sit in comfortable silence, watching the world outside her. We don't pass Candor but I see Beatrice sit up straighter as we pass Abnegation, all I can see is churned up road and identical houses. How boring.
"They're starting to jump!" my head snaps up. Why am I surprised, they expected us to jump on. Why wouldn't they expect us to jump off?
Back to the start.
All I can see out the window is rooftops. Even worse. They expect us to jump from a moving train and on to a rooftop?! I feel the adrenaline rush through me. There is no way I'm going to be factionless. I have to jump. I will make it. It isn't an option, my life has only just begun and I'm not giving it up for anyone.
"Well, I'm not doing it." Said a sniffy boy behind me.
"You've got to. Or you'll fail. Come one, it'll be alright." I encourage the boy. I don't want to see anyone else fail today."
"No it won't! I'd rather be factionless than dead!" He said, mirroring my earlier thoughts but in the opposite order.
"You can't force him" Beatrice says calmly.I see the sense in her words. I give up. I can't drag him of the train, then we'd both die. I'm not ready yet. I'm suddenly as scared as the boy. But this is my life now. If I can't do this then I am not Dauntless. I hold out my hand to the Stiff. My lips pressed in a grim line.
"Here." I hear myself say. She raises an eyebrow at me. Probably thinking that I don't think she can do this. That's not it. II don't think I can do this. "I just… can't do it unless someone drags me." I didn't want to admit this but now I have, I am afraid of heights. Not very Dauntless but I wasn't always here.
"1…2…3" Tris counts. And we jump. I feel a sense of weightlessness. The air flying through my hair, a feeling of such freedom. I am overcome with such a rush. I'm completely exhilarated. We tumble to the ground, loosing our grips of each other's hands, I stand up and dust myself off.
"That was fun." I smile at Beatrice, who just gives me an odd look. I look around me and see everyone standing up. A shocked look on their face. I can't believe we all made it. Suddenly a wail calls out, so high that the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I look down and see a girl on the pavement below, her arms and legs all bent awkwardly, her hair fanning her body. Suddenly I am aware of how high we are. Bile rises in my throat, I step away from the edge and walk towards the middle, hearing attempts to calm the poor girls sister. I hear laughing but I'm still in a daze. I've never seen anyone die before. It wasn't nice. I hear Rita still sobbing in the background and some boy making fun of Beatrice. I come to and am about to make a retort when someone clears their throat.
"Listen up! My name is Max! I am one of the leaders of your new faction! Several stories below us," I gulp at the mention of the height "Is the members' entrance to the Dauntless compound. If you can't muster the will to jump off, you don't belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first."
I hear a lot of commotion but I'm too scared to listen. I look around, willing someone else to go first. The Stiff steps forward, I try not to let my shock become obvious and give her encouraging looks. She walks forward, looking brave, I wish I was that brave. The wind makes her clothes fly about her skinny body. It should make her look weak but it doesn't, she looks powerful. She stands on the edge, a silhouette against the skyline. I watch her fumble at her neck, as if taking off her shirt. Wait. That is what's she's doing. She turns around and throws it at the boy who made fun off her. She smiles and turns back, and she jumps.
Everyone looks around. As if daring someone else to go. What the Stiff did was amazing. Everyone looks at their feet. I look forward. This is my time. I walk forward, keeping my eyelevel even. I stand on the edge and look down. I see a dark hole, who knows what there? This is my life now. I need to live. I am Dauntless, not Candor. I was born for this. I keep my breathing level and a jump. I was ready.
Please review and if you like it I will write another chapter. Thanks for reading!