"WHAT? No! Never!"

Diana was frozen in the sitting room, looking at her fathers with absolute horror and dismay. Hamish seemed taken aback, but no more.

"I told you, Sherlock and I have been talking, and we decided it's best for the two of you to go to school," John repeated.

"C'mon Diana, it's not that bad," Hamish said, trying to comfort her.

"Oh, it's not that bad for YOU, I suppose," Diana said hysterically. "YOU'RE going to graduate next year! But ME, I've got to suffer through FOUR YEARS of idiots!"

Sherlock was carefully staying out of this conversation. John had had the idea to send the kids to school, and Sherlock's view on the matter was somewhere along the lines of "Whatever you say, John."

Diana and Hamish had been living at Baker Street for two months now, and they'd settled in quickly. Diana was a strong, smart girl who was actually a lot like Sherlock, except with a dash of friendliness, and Hamish turned out to be- as he'd said- antisocial, but very kind once he liked you and a brilliant chemist.

But now it seemed that Sherlock had to intervene. They were odd parents, him and John. It was hard to tell who was the "fun" parent- Sherlock was definitely more allowing, and he asked for the kids' help with cases and experiments, including running through London and climbing buildings and breaking into places in the dead of night, but John was the one who took them to the movies and tried to make microwave dinners and such. John was sensitive and attuned to Diana and Hamish's emotions but made rules and decisions and often micromanaged, while Sherlock let them do what they wanted but was often distant and removed.

"Diana, it's all right," he said, having a go at being comforting and parental. "I had to go to school as well. It's hell. Idiots all over the place, annoying, irrelevant curriculum, disgusting food-"

"Sherlock..." John said warningly.

"Well, my point is, it's horrible but I survived it and I did learn a few things."

"And you may make some friends," John added. Sherlock shuddered and generally looked horrified at the idea.

Hamish laughed and put his arm around Diana's shoulders. "Are you okay?" he asked her quietly.

She nodded slowly. "When do we start school?"

"Wednesday," said John.

(⌒▽⌒)

It was the day before Diana and Hamish started school, and they were going to their Uncle Mycroft's house for tea. John entered with the kids while Sherlock dragged his feet.

"Oh, come on, Sherlock!" yelled an exasperated John.

Mycroft was waiting for them in the entryway. "Hello there," he said to the kids.

"Hello, Uncle Mycroft," replied Diana, smiling at him. John marveled at Diana's ability to charm people. She'd even made Mycroft like her. Well, her and Hamish.

"So how have you been, Uncle?" Hamish asked as Sherlock's brother led them to the sitting room.

"Oh, the usual. I heard that you and Diana are going to school?"

"Tomorrow, yes."

Mycroft gestured for the four of them to sit down. "That'll have been John's idea, then."

"Of course. Diana isn't very happy about it, though."

"I'm not surprised. Too many idiots for you, Diana?"

"Definitely," she said. "Oh, I'll help you with the tea!"

"Thank you," Mycroft said as Diana poured tea for the five of them and smacked her sulking father on the head. "What say you, dear brother?"

"Too many idiots everywhere," muttered Sherlock.

"Now, Diana," Mycroft continued. "If you happen to meet a boy at school and fancy him, especially if he asks you on a date-" Sherlock looked completely taken aback by all of this- "you must tell me immediately so I can look at his records and hack his security cameras, et cetera, to see if he's worth your time, and if he cheats on you, you must also tell me immediately so I can contact the Tower of London or possibly the missile launchers. Understand?"

Diana laughed, although she knew her uncle was being completely serious.

A/N: UNCLE MYCROFT IS MY NEW FAVORITE THING

Please please please please R&R I want to know what you think, if I should continue this, etc.