A Fair Distance Comes a Time

by Laurie-ky

Sentinel. J/B. Following the events of A Fair Distance. Ball and Chain, Jim and Blair return to Cascade to try and catch the person responsible for sending hitmen after Blair. Chapter Six - Warning for triggering.

17. Chapter 17 and Epilog

Nobody watching Blair joking and scarfing down pizza with Bev and her friend from Vancouver – the Washington state city, not the Canadian one - would ever guess that he'd conducted an intense session on the spiritual plane just hours ago.

We'd talked for a while after I returned home. Hearing how my grandfather had treated his sons had been a punch in the gut. With that kind of role model, my dad had done better as a parent than I'd realized. He had never viciously whipped Steven and me, although I remembered a few spankings. Deserved, though. The time I'd crayoned all over the walls came to mind.

Blair thought it was interesting that Dad hadn't tried to install homophobia in me or my brother. He'd actually tried to teach us to be tolerant of other people.

Still didn't mean he wanted his sons to be different. I wondered what he would have done if he'd caught me making out with one of the boys I'd been attracted to as a teen.

His trying to send Blair away made sense. His father had done that with Johnny.

I felt for the abused kid my dad had been. I had questions for the adult he'd become, and I was ready to ask them. Blair and I agreed we'd try again tonight or tomorrow to question him. Blair was feeling very protective of William-the-child, and I assured him that if William chose to appear as a kid again, I wouldn't be harsh with him.

I wouldn't make the same promise about the adult that little boy had grown up to be.

After we'd dissected the whole encounter, though, we both were looking forward to a break. So we had hit the gym before heading over to Rosa's to hang out with Bev.

Her pal was a deputy district attorney, about forty-five years old, attractive, dark-haired and dark-eyed, and well-muscled He and Bev were obviously good friends, but it wasn't her he was interested in courting.

It was Blair.

I'd figured it out fairly quickly. The guy kept shooting these assessing looks at Blair, in between smiling at him. He was more subtle at it then at questioning a witness on the stand, but he was definitely conducting an interrogation. It was like he was deciding if he wanted to date Blair or not.

Blair had caught on, too. We were sitting next to each other in the booth, and he entwined our legs together, body language for "I'm with you." I patted Blair on the thigh to let him know I wasn't going to revert to being a jealous asshole just because someone else showed some interest in him.

Joshua Rickman asked a lot of questions about Blair's former role in Major Crimes. Beverly brought up cases she knew about where Blair's assistance had been invaluable. She emphasized how Blair had risked being shot at to help save her life, and how Bergman had been caught because Blair had played bait.

It started being sort of a contest between Bev and me. She'd mention a case where Blair had played a pivotal role and then I'd jump in with one where he'd saved other people's lives or had saved my bacon. Blair dug his elbow in my side a few times to shut me up, but I've had training to withstand torture. Besides, I reasoned, after all the shit that had been dumped on Blair's reputation, it was about time he got to hear some good opinions about himself.

Joshua held his hand up after I'd laid it on about how Blair had rescued me from drowning in a vat of black oil while on a n oil rig during a case. I explained that he'd figured out how to lower machinery into that damned tank so I could climb up, and then had ignored his own safety in order to stop a ticking bomb from sending trapped men to the bottom of the sea.

"Have you had training in bomb defusing, Blair?" Joshua asked.

"No. Well, Joel, one of the guys I observed in Major Crimes, showed me a few things, but I think that was after that time on the rig. And let me tell you right now, I was scared to death. I had to lie down after the clock stopped on the bomb, I was that shaky. Man, only seconds were left on the thing."

He gave an exaggerated shudder and then grinned at us. "Don't let these two give you the wrong idea about me. I'm really not the hero type. Now Jim, he's the one that does things like handcuff himself to a freaking helicopter when it's trying to take off with a couple of homegrown terrorists. He's definitely the hero type. I'm more of a sidekick."

Sidekick, my ass, I thought. We were going to have a talk about that when we got home. Partner was the correct term.

"Well, you've had a lot of training in other areas, I hear. A masters in anthropology, a minor in psychology, and I understand you're working on your Ph.D in anthropology?"

Blair said, "Yes," and gave Bev a questioning look.

Rickman said, "You've done some interesting research, gone on quite a few expeditions." He raised his eyebrow. "And now you're driving semis, correct?"

I shot Beverly a look, too. This guy knew a hell of a lot about Blair for someone who had met us for a casual night out with a friend.

Beverly winked at me. From the look on her face, she was up to something. I suddenly doubted she'd brought Joshua along just for his company. Besides, while her friend was showing a lot of interest in Blair, I still hadn't detected any signs of the guy being sexually aroused.

Blair said yes, he was driving big rigs. He spin doctored things a bit, telling them how he enjoyed seeing sights around the country and being a participant-observer within a blue-collar occupation. He kept his mouth shut about the long hours and the loneliness. He didn't talk about how he sometimes got harassed if he picked the wrong place to catch a meal.

Now that he was controlling the conversation, he focused on asking Beverly and Joshua about the conference they'd just attended and their jobs, and for Joshua, questions about Vancouver.

The Couve, Joshua said, had recently expanded and was expected to keep growing. Portland being right across the river meant that there was easy access to the perks of being near a large city, but Vancouver had a lower cost of living, cheaper housing, and better schools.

He said he enjoyed his work and thought that his entire department worked well together. He glanced at Bev and nodded, and she stood up.

"Jim, Blair, it's been great to see you guys again. I'm going to head home, but Joshua has something to discuss with Blair. Call me soon. I'd love to do this again."

Suddenly I remembered me asking Bev to keep an eye out for a job for Blair. Looks like Joshua had wanted to form his own opinion before actually discussing any potential employment with my partner.

I stood up, too. "Bev, I'll walk you out to your car."

She said her goodbyes to Joshua, and I leaned over Blair and gave him a kiss. Might as well put our relationship out there and find out right now if it was going to be a problem.

Blair said, as I straightened up, "Love you too, Jim. Give us a few minutes, okay?"

I nodded, and Bev and I walked out to the parking lot. She filled me in on why she'd brought Joshua to meet Blair, and I gave her a warm hug and thanked her for her help.

xxx

"So, if Bev hadn't already clued you in, or if you hadn't figured it out yet, Jim and I are in a committed relationship. And I'm curious to hear what we have to discuss, if that's still on the table." I picked up my bottle of Sam Adams and readied myself for whatever Joshua was cooking up.

He waved his hand carelessly. "Congratulations to you and Jim. From the stories I've heard tonight, it seems you have a very solid partnership." He beckoned a waitress over and asked for a refill on his iced tea.

Almost sternly, he said, "Now let me be honest with you. Frankly, admitting to being fraudulent with your research on sentinels should disqualify you from any consideration from me."

"You checked me out." Oh, joy.

"Yes, I've done my homework on you, although the whole idea of sentinels sounds like science fiction." He sounded a little wry.

Then he flicked his index finger towards me, "As I was saying, you falsified your research, according to your press conference. But you admitted to it, and technically, you hadn't turned in your dissertation. What that does is leave things in a very gray area. The media portrayed you as a man so greedy and lacking in ethics that you abused the trust of your research subject and wrote reams of lies about him. But I'm finding it hard to believe that a man like that turned down a sizable amount of money for the release of his research in order to drive trucks for a living." He leaned back against the back of the booth, studying me like I was an interesting bug or something.

I said mildly, "Why do you care about any of it? I mean, we're strangers, and yeah, I can see how you could feel indignant that I tried to cheat, but why meet with me? Do you feel a burning need to lecture me on my shoddy ethics, or something?" I should just brush off what he was saying – he didn't know the truth - but I'd enjoyed talking to him tonight, and I was confused now. And maybe a little hurt. Did Beverly know he was going to jump me about the diss? That seemed crazy. Bev had been nothing but nice to me ever since we'd first met. For a while, I thought she and Jim might kindle something, but they'd let that fire die. We were all friendly, though, so it didn't make sense for her to arrange this meeting tonight so this stranger could bust my chops over my failings.

Straightening up, he started tapping his fingers impatiently against his glass. "What I think," he said slowly, "is that you did lie, but not about your research. And it's only important to me because it speaks to your character. I mentioned that I'm a deputy district attorney for Clark County. My office is in Vancouver, and I'm recruiting top-notch people to apply for two positions that are opening up for prosecuting attorney investigators."

I started twisting the beer bottle around and around. This was about a possible job. "Um, two positions?"

Nodding, he said, "Yes. One of our investigators is retiring, and the other is moving across the river to be an investigator for Portland's team. I'm of the opinion that your skills and experience would make you a good addition to our team. I understand that you have a home here in Cascade, but Vancouver and Portland have a lot to offer. For one thing, it could be a fresh start for you and Jim. I know from Bev that the two of you have had a lot of unwanted media attention ever since you held that press conference. I doubt the Columbian would follow in the Cascade papers' footsteps."

Joshua got his wallet out and gave me his business card. "You're a problem solver, Blair, and an anthropologist would bring a unique viewpoint to the team, as you appear to have done with your work as a consultant for Major Crimes here in Cascade. You're experienced with police procedures and investigations."

Clearing his throat, he gave me a small smile. "I, ah, admit that it took some convincing by Beverly before I agreed to come and meet you. I'm glad that she prevailed, though, because while I think there is more to the story of you destroying your reputation, I've been impressed tonight, and I'd like you to come and interview for the position."

I struggled not to gape at him. An investigator? That could be interesting, but I wanted more details. "What qualifications would I need, exactly? And what would the job entail?"

He said, "The job information is posted at the website on my business card, but basically, you've got the education and the three to five years experience needed in investigations from being a consultant with Major Crimes. You don't have to have been an actual police officer, although we do have a lot of applicants who are retired cops. You work in a team, as I said, with other investigators, legal assistants, victim advocates and deputy prosecuting attorneys. Your supervisor would be one of the prosecuting attorneys. You would liaison with the police, conduct interviews, gather and analyze data for reports, track down witnesses, serve subpoenas and summons, andinvestigate all claims against city employees, for starters."

He leaned forward. "I didn't just take Beverly's word about you. I called around in Cascade, checked with the Seattle police. I've been impressed by what I've heard about your abilities to handle people. You say that you're not the hero type, but you've done heroic things. You've put yourself at risk for other people." I looked away, feeling embarrassed.

He touched my arm, and I refocused my attention on him.

"Look. I want to be realistic; that whole mess about claiming to be a fraud will hurt your chances of landing the job, if you apply. But I'm encouraging you to come down and interview with us anyway. In person, I think you can sway people to give you a chance. Apply on-line and send us your resume by email. I'll make sure you get a fair shake when you talk to the rest of the hiring committee. And the Vancouver P.D. is accepting lateral transfers, if Jim is interested in changing jobs. Vancouver isn't Cascade; we don't get as much in the way of high-profile cases, but we've got a good department. Or he could apply to Portland's P.D. If he was able to transfer to our P.D, though, and if you were hired, you could be assigned to his department. Blair, I'm saying you could work together again, although not exclusively. From what I've heard from Simon Banks, you two made a helluva team."

He stood up. I followed suit, and we shook hands. "One last thing, Blair. If you get the job you need to get a concealed weapons permit. Are you familiar with firearms?"

I straightened and said evenly, "I've used them, when I've had to. I was prepared to go to the police academy at one time, so, yeah, if there's no other way and to save a life, I'll use a gun."

"Some additional documentation on passing written and skills firearms tests will be needed, as well." He smiled warmly at me, "Good luck, Blair. I hope to see you soon. We plan to begin interviewing in two weeks. One job starts in July, the other in August."

He walked briskly through the restaurant and I sat back down, in a bit of a daze. I'd check out the details of the posting on the website he'd given me when we went home. Jim and I were going to have to talk about this. I wasn't sure he really wanted to move, although he'd mentioned it as a possibility. Hell, I wasn't sure I wanted to move. Cascade was my home. I'd lived here, except for last year and when I was on expeditions, for almost fifteen years. I loved Jim's loft. And I did have another possible job with the advertising company. Being an ethnographer could work out.

I stood back up and whispered, "Jim, let's go. I'll meet you at the truck."

He had the motor running by the time I climbed in, and he pulled out of the parking lot towards home. I was bursting with conflicting feelings and when Jim looked over at me, I started babbling.

"You were listening, right? I'm feeling kind of blown away, and Bev, she set this up, and that was so nice of her to recommend me for this investigator position and it does sound like a really cool job, but then we'd have to move and this is your city, Jim. You're Cascade's sentinel, and these people are your tribe, and this is your home. You belong here. You know, I wasn't sure I'd ever feel like Cascade was my home again after you brought me back here, but even though an entire busload of crap has come down on us, I think this does feel like home. Kind of a shitty one, I guess, but it's familiar, you know. I mean, I've lived in lots of other places when I was a kid and I've traveled as an anthropologist, but ever since I started college I guess I've tagged Cascade as the old home base. I love our loft, and, man, you're established here. You have friends and Steven and Simon. You've been honored as the cop of the year by your colleagues. You're one of the senior detectives in Major Crimes, and being a cop in Vancouver will be like being sent down from the major leagues to the minors, and I can't ask that of you, to uproot yourself like that. I won't apply, okay. I can do that ethnographer job if I get hired and when it's over, if they don't have a new study for me to help with, something else will come along, or I can go back to driving again, or-"

Jim pulled onto a side street and parked.

"Okay, take a deep breath, Blair, and let it out slowly. Don't try talking until I tell you to, understand?"

"But-"

"Breathe. Just breathe for a while, and then I've got something to say."

He placed his hand over my heart, and said encouragingly, as I did as he said and slowed my breathing, "Good. You're doing better. Your heartbeat is slowing back down. Hang on for a little longer, Chief, and then we'll talk."

He changed to just holding my hand after those long minutes had ticked by.

"All right. Let's get some assumptions out of the way. You made me sound like I'm bonded to Cascade, that I'm like a serf, tied to this piece of real estate. I'm not, Blair. I'm really not. I joined the Army, and when I did my people became those men who were in my unit. When I lost them in Peru the Chopec became my people until I was recalled. I returned to Cascade because it had been my home as a kid and it was familiar, but there was no compulsion to only live here. I guess you could say that I am Cascade's sentinel, but if we move somewhere else, that would change. I would consider myself a sentinel of that new city or area."

He squeezed my hand. "Blair, I go to work. I do my job. I work hard, but I can't say I really enjoy being in Major Crimes anymore. People are still making comments about Dad, and you, and speculating way too much about my sexual orientation. To be fair, they're not often making those comments to me but I hear them just the same. It's gotten old. And the guys we used to be tight with have moved on: Simon, Conner, Henri, Rafe. And now that Joel's retired, I don't particularly feel connected to anybody who's a co-worker. I'm in a dead end there, so let's not cross out moving to Vancouver because you don't think I would welcome a change. And I'm still pissed about how you were treated. Are still treated. I can't even take you up with me to the bullpen. On my end, getting to spend time with you on the job again is nothing but a plus."

I sighed. "Jim, man, I love you, but just how much of that situation with Major Crimes is because you're sitting at your pristine desk, glowering at people if they annoy you. Are you trying to make friends with the current crew? Or are you sending out 'Don't talk to me unless it relates to a case' vibes?"

Jim furrowed his brow, thinking it over. "Yeah, it might partly be my fault, but it's hard for me to say to somebody, 'Hey, want to get some lunch together,' or ask them if they want to stop and get a beer after work, when I've heard them speculating on which one of us fucks the other one."

"And you don't think Henri has probably said the same stuff?"

"He has. But he makes it clear that he considers us all friends and... it's just different. Also, he doesn't say things behind my back. If he's going to be crude and rude it's when I'm there to zing him, too, so it ends up just being a lot of bullshitting. Another thing. Cascade has a lot of sad memories for me. I really wouldn't mind making a clean break."

"What about leaving the loft?"

"Babe, it's been a great place to live in, but that doesn't mean we can't find a good place if we move. We both like it out in the country; it's just been convenient to live right in the city. We should talk about that some more. I keep picturing you making a garden for fresh vegetables and growing those herbs you like to make into remedies for this and that."

"Does that mean if I grow my own herbs you'd swallow my concoctions?"

He just laughed and I smiled, relaxing a little more.

Jim squeezed my hand. "Some woods nearby or on our property would be nice. It's always surprising to me when we go camping away from the noises in the city how much more relaxed I feel. And we could have a workshop for your welding, and I've been thinking about trying out some woodworking."

Jim had mentioned this before to me, about the garden and workshops. But we could maybe do some rooftop gardening at the loft. Maybe even put up a small workshop up there, too.

I might be seeing what I wanted to see. Jim as the "Sentinel of the Great City" instead of Jim, a man who just happened to be a sentinel. This was something I should pursue in meditation.

Jim added, "And as far as gay-friendly places to live, Vancouver's pretty good, I hear."

I knew that. Unlike some cities, Vancouver didn't have mostly gay neighborhoods, but the research data indicated same-sex couples were fairly well represented in all areas of the city. I liked that idea. My sexual orientation was not how I wanted to be defined, anyway.

"Jim, you're making a good case for moving. If I decide to apply for the job. If I get the job. Are there any other reasons to move to Vancouver if I'm offered the job?"

Jim nodded slowly. "Maybe. I'm still thinking it through for myself, Chief, but when I figure it out, I'll tell you. Promise."

He looked thoughtful. "Blair, I know you decided to go to Rainier to get away from your abuser without having to let your mom know anything about it, but then he was killed. So why did you decide to go to Rainier after he was out of the way? I mean, you could have traveled with your mom, or gotten a job somewhere."

I was silent for a minute, thinking. "I guess I just felt I was ready for a change. Rainier offered me a scholarship so that was a big influence."

"Well, I'm feeling like it's time for a change. I'm not so stuck in my ways that I can't do something different. I decided to join the Army, I decided to leave the Army and become a cop. And now, I'm feeling like it's time for something new, something better. But most of all, I want whatever we decide to be something that fulfills you."

Jim looked so earnest, so concerned. Goddess, I loved him.

"Hey, let's have some faith in the universe that things will work out. I think I'm done panicking for now, so let's head for home, James."

He let go of my hand and started up the truck. "We got any beer there?"

"I don't remember. Want to visualize the fridge's contents, see what's in your memory?"

"Not really. Let's just stop on the way, get some beer and some pretzels and chips. No harm in being fortified for the rest of the discussion tonight."

I snorted, and then outright laughed. It was so good to be home and spending time with Jim. I wasn't looking forward to leaving again in a few days.

xxx

In the end we decided I'd apply to the Vancouver P.D., and Blair would do the second interview for the ethnographer job and drive down to Vancouver and interview for the investigator position. If he got a solid job offer from either one, or both, or possibly another position, then we'd figure out our options. He wondered about trying for a state investigator job here in Cascade, but I'd already thought about that and had asked Bev's opinion when we'd talked out in the parking lot. It was a "Sorry, Charlie" kind of deal, she'd said. She'd put out feelers with her boss, and he'd said no. Blair's relationship with the PD and the Chief of Police was just too damaged.

He did jump on his computer and check out the posted job description. I read it over his shoulder and thought it would suit him to a T. It was a lot of the same skills that he would have used as a detective. When I retired from active police work, I might even see about getting hired on, if Blair was still there.

He asked if I'd go with him down to the firing range so he could practice. He wanted to take the test results with him when he had his interview, as well as his permit to carry concealed weapons.

He yawned, and said he'd apply tomorrow. We ended up drinking one last beer and watching an old Bonanza rerun, and Blair kidded me about the time I'd tried to learn a Texas accent from that show.

"Let's hear that Texas twang, pardner."

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"

"Nope. One of the perks of married life, I guess."

"I can think of some better ones." I took the half-full beer from his hand and set it on the coffee table with my empty one. I tugged at him until he was sideways in my lap, a heavy, pleasant weight across me. I kissed his neck - I've always loved kissing Blair's neck – and he made an encouraging, interested sound. Blair's always loved me kissing his neck, too. On impulse, I shifted his hair and traced the faint scar from the bite my spirit guide had given him. Tenderly, I gently bit him again on that exact place. Blair made a needy, demanding plea that clearly communicated what he wanted from me, without ever voicing a single word.

I had a theory that the scar that marked Blair as mine had become such an erogenous spot because of the connection to the spirit world. I wasn't sure why. I just knew that I was drawn to it, to lick it and bite it and kiss it. Blair's body would become so pliant; he could come just from me doing those things to it. I was glad his scar didn't hurt him or feel weird when I touched it. Other than having nerve endings directly tied to his dick. That I considered a bonus.

"Down here, like this, or upstairs. Choose, Blair."

He gave a groan of frustration but slowly slid off my lap. "Let's get comfortable in bed. The last time we did it on the couch, you ended up with a crick in your neck, remember?"

If we moved, I was getting rid of this couch. I wanted one big enough that we could make out or sleep together on it in comfort.

"Good point. But once we're up in bed, I'm picking up where I left off."

His eyes darkened, and widened, and my favorite scent in the world started filling the air.

Oh, yeah. Having Blair home was such a treat.

xxx

The phone ringing was a welcome distraction from my thoughts, and I eagerly answered it, hoping it was Blair. He had left that morning to drive to Sacramento and would be back tomorrow. It was a short run, but I missed him when he wasn't home. We'd had a busy couple of weeks. Blair did the second interview for the ethnographer job and then drove to Vancouver. He said the committee interviewing him for the investigator position had grilled him pretty good, but he felt they'd been fair. He'd also done runs to Bismarck, Salt Lake City, Denver, and Oklahoma City.

"Hi," Blair said, his voice warm and comforting. "It's me. I'm all tucked up in my bunk, and I was thinking about you. Did you wrap up your case today?"

"Nah, the feds took it over. I swear they wait until we get all the legwork done, and then it's 'we'll take it from here.' I think our perp headed out of state, but they think he's just holed up."

"You don't sound that concerned."

"I'm not. The feds are welcome to that joker. Hey, I heard from the Vancouver P.D, though. I'm scheduled for oral and written testing a week from next Monday. Want to come along? Check out what Vancouver and Portland have to offer?"

"You bet. I'll see if I can be scheduled off for two or three days so we can have time to really look around." Blair sounded excited, but then I heard him take a deep breath. "We're just checking out our options, right? I mean, just because we're both applying for jobs in Vancouver doesn't mean we're going to move. I'm still processing what feels right, and really, I'm still sitting firmly on the fence. What about you?"

"I'll follow your lead."

Blair said, a stubborn tone to his voice, "No, I want to know what you really think."

I laughed at him. "Blair, I've already told you that I'd be fine with moving to Vancouver and I'd welcome the change. But if you want to stay in Cascade, I'll be okay. You know that I did what you asked and started acting more friendly with some of the people in Major Crimes."

"And?"

"It's possible that a few of them have some potential to be decent enough to work with. Oh, and I went out to lunch with Henri today. Boy, you should see his pictures of the baby. She's really grown. She'll be crawling soon. Hey, he said we should come over for poker and barbeque when you get back. He said he'd get Simon and maybe Daryl over, too. And Joel. Want to go?"

"A chance to relieve you guys of your cash and play with the baby?" he teased. "Sounds good to me. And speaking of barbeque, we're still taking Steven out to Jimmy-Jack's when I get back, correct?"

"Yep. I called him today and confirmed that he's free on his birthday. He, uh, was asking about when we thought we could put Dad's house on the market. I told him not yet. I told him we thought Dad was still around, just kind of hiding from us. I swear, if he hadn't seen Dad's ghost, too, he would have thought I'd gone off the deep end when I told him about the spirit plane and how we can go there."

Blair chuckled. "It does sound strange, but then you're a sentinel and I'm a shaman. Weird comes with the territory. I'm going to try again before I go to sleep to see if I can find your dad. I'm not sure how time would be measured on the spirit plane, but I know he doesn't have much left. Why don't you try to meditate, too? Maybe we can meet up at the pool."

"I'll try. See you in the flesh tomorrow."

I told him I loved him then and reluctantly hung up the phone, and headed up to bed myself.

Blair had suggested meditating, but I did best with him guiding me through it. I wasn't about to light a bunch of candles like he usually did. If I zoned, I didn't want a fire to start.

Blair was much better at sending himself to the spirit plane than I was. Most of the times I'd gone to Blue Jungle Land – Blair's name for the spirit plane was permanently stuck in my head now – had been when I'd gone to sleep first.

Turning out the lights, I got comfortable in bed. I stared up at the skylight and tried to ignore the fact that it could use a good cleaning.

I focused on one star, bright enough to be seen through city lights, and slowed my breath. If we had a house out in the country, we'd see so many more stars...

I breathed evenly and thought about the path through the jungle to the pool Blair and I liked to soak in. I thought then about my father. I wanted closure with him. I wanted to tell him I loved him. Funny how we don't tell the people we love that enough. I had started telling Blair that every day. Sometimes I'd whisper it against his skin, an invisible tattoo of my desire, my love for him. Other times, it was just a part of everyday life. A message on his cell phone: "Pick up some groceries on your way home, Chief. Love you. Bye." Or, I'd tell him when he left to go to work: "Drive safely, I love you."

Blinking heavily, I felt myself falling asleep, Blair was always annoyed with himself if he fell asleep while meditating, since it's apparently sort of an amateur move, but I never cared when I did it. I turned my head at the sound of soft feet padding towards me and saw the black jaguar. My last thought was that he was there to show me the way, and I stared into his eyes until mine closed.

XXX

I ran on the jungle paths, my body marked with Chopec symbols, wearing my worn camos. The jaguar was ahead of me, and I ran faster to catch up to him. Deeper and deeper into the dense vegetation I followed him, sometimes losing sight of him as the path twisted and turned. Abruptly he left the path and bounded up a steep hill and disappeared behind a jagged outcrop of rock. I didn't stop to consider if it was wise to leave the path or not; I trusted my spirit guide implicitly. I followed him.

When I climbed around the boulders I saw the jaguar waiting for me at the mouth of a large cave, high above me. I found hand and toe holds and raised myself bit by bit until I had pulled myself up onto the wide ledge before the cave entrance. My spirit guide came towards me; as he did, he morphed into my image. He reached out his hand in a gesture of welcome, and I grasped it, letting my fingers slide down his arm to lock above his wrist in a warrior's greeting. He mirrored my actions, then released me.

"Greetings, Enqueri. Come sit by the fire and talk." He turned and I followed him into the cave, which was large and dry. There was a small campfire burning and I sat down cross-legged across from him.

"Why have you brought me to this place? Is there a problem with my guide?"

My spirit-twin shook his head. "He sorrows for the plight of one he considers to be kin. He asks that you stand with him and that together you help the lost one to find the way all souls must take."

"I came to do just that. So why are we talking instead of me meeting my little shaman. What must I do first?"

"You must be patient, Enqueri. Gaze into the fire and let your mind clear. Then ask for help regarding what troubles you about your future. One who has traveled that path will answer. You must face your fears to have peace. I go to bring the little shaman."

He morphed back into the jaguar and bounded out of the cave.

I did as he asked, watching the small branches sizzle and burn bright, small explosions of sparks illuminating the dimness around me.

My spirit guide was a great one for telling me to face my fears. We'd had some interesting conversations in the past on that topic.

It wasn't my fear that my father would remain a ghost that my spiritual adviser wanted me to consider, though. There was no ambivalence about that at all. I wanted Dad to find peace and move on, and I was ready to tell him I forgave him. I had thought that I needed him to explain himself, but I was a detective. I had put the pieces together about his motivation for deciding to kill Blair. Well, most of the pieces. I wasn't sure what Blair had said to him that triggered my father's impulsive plan to lure Blair to come see him so he could poison him. I would like to know those kinds of details. And I wanted the name of his contact. The person who had hired the hit-men and sent the two guys who'd come to clean up Dad's mess for him. The P.D. probably couldn't charge the asshole for Blair's case, but an undercover operation could take him down.

God, I could still get shivers remembering the close call Blair had experienced that day. If Henri had checked on Blair even ten minutes later, Blair might have been smothered to death.

The big picture I felt I understood when it came to Dad's actions. He'd internalized my grandfather's message of disgust and fear about men having same-sex relations at such a young age that for the rest of his life he'd been just reacting to situations that triggered it without doing any critical thinking about why he felt the way he did. I thought Dad had been bi-sexual, but so severely repressed about it that he couldn't let himself act in any way that would let the outside world know that he sometimes was attracted to another boy or man.

He hadn't wanted me to be like him. He'd feared that I'd end up like his brother Michael when he realized that I was attracted to Blair. Dad didn't know that I'd been having sexual encounters with my own sex since I was a teenager. He'd thought Blair was leading me down a path that would end in my utter destruction. Blair had to be removed, sent away, and finally killed, all to keep me safe. He must have thought that without Blair around to seduce me, I'd stay safely heterosexual.

And yet, he also could see that Blair was a good man. Blair is hard to resist, to dislike, even when he's being deliberately annoying, and he wanted Dad to like him. He was always charming and helpful when we met with my father. I think that Dad became fond of Blair, even as he cast him as the villain in our little drama. In the letters he'd sent to some of Blair's employers, he'd said Blair was suspected of being a sex offender. In Dad's eyes, I guess Blair was, since Dad was convinced Blair was seducing me into homosexuality.

Poor Dad. The cognitive dissonance must have given him migraines.

It couldn't have been easy for him, as a father, to watch his son flirting with danger. And he wasn't exactly wrong, either. Incidents of gay-bashing and discrimination happened every day.

Being a parent, I'd been thinking for a while now, had to be terrifying at times.

Being a parent was something I'd been considering lately.

I hadn't said anything to Blair yet because I wasn't sure I did want to be a father. I mean, look at my family tree. My grandfather had done hideous things as a parent. My dad had been so wrapped up in his business that he'd had little time for Stevie and me, and when he did take an active role he ended up alienating me from my brother. And yet he had loved us. I knew that, too. God, if you learn how to be a parent from your own parents, then any kid of mine was screwed.

Moodily, I stood up and walked to where branches had been roughly stacked at the front of the cave I grabbed an armful to feed to the fire, then I heard a soft movement behind me.

From the back of the cave, something small was stealthily coming forward.

I slowly walked back to the fire and crouched down, adding new sticks of wood to it in a pattern that would ensure the flames would blaze up. I heard the movement again, the soft, fast exhalation of breath. I kept my eyes on the front of the cave, hoping that Blair would arrive now. He knew how to handle William. Especially if William chose to appear as a child again.

The footsteps changed, four feet became two, the fast breaths slowing into deeper ones.

I could smell my dad's aftershave. He'd been an Old Spice man ever since I could remember.

A hand came to rest on my shoulder. I closed my eyes.

"Jimmy."

I rose and turned, saw my father as he'd been in the last year of his life. Tall, handsome, wearing dress slacks, and an expensive button-down shirt, he looked like the confident business man he'd been. It was all a front, a disguise, one that I could see past when I looked into his eyes.

He was dreading this encounter. He was terrified of what I was going to say to him.

"Dad. You know, you're good at hiding. Blair and I have been looking for you."

He nodded, took a deep breath. "I'm good at hiding because I've been doing it since I was nine years old. Hiding from myself, mostly, but from your mother and brother, too, and from my friends. It's what I know how to do."

"You're not hiding now."

He looked at me beseechingly. "Because we need to talk. About quite a few things, but when your spirit guide found me in this cave, he told me what's been on your mind. Jimmy, I want to help you; I'm your father."

"Actually, Dad, it's because you are my father that I'm having trouble figuring out what I should do. I don't want to be the kind of father that you were. I've caught myself setting Blair up for no-win situations sometimes, like you used to do to Stevie and me. I'd rather not be a parent than treat a kid like that."

"Trust yourself, Jimmy. You'll break the cycle that I learned from my father, and you won't make the mistakes that I did. I tried to make you and Steven tough by pitting you against each other for my favor. To teach you that you both had to compete with each other and stay sharp, not let your guard down. You know what a failure that approach was."

"It just made us resent each other." I pressed my hand hard against my suddenly rock hard neck muscles.

Dad looked guilty. "That wasn't everything. I let my career consume my time, and I told myself I was being a good provider. I was doing it all for you and Steven, paving the way for you boys to join my company. I learned too late that I could never take that time back, to simply play with you boys, go to your games, watch your school plays. Read stories to you. Oh, I would tiptoe into your rooms when you boys were asleep. I'd cover you and Steven up, but I could be tender then because you boys couldn't see me. I thought a father should be stern, like my father had been. But that was me."

He stepped a little closer. "Jimmy, I watched you with your brother when you were little. You were protective and kind to him. Your coaches told me how you would take the younger players under your wing. You volunteered as a Big Brother and from what I learned you did a great job of mentoring that youngster, Danny. I don't believe you would ignore any children of yours. I believe you would lay down your life for them. If I have any advice for you at all, it would be to listen to them, and be fair with them. I learned that lesson far too late to benefit you and Steven. Hold them, hug them, don't be afraid to express love towards them. Accept them for who they are, and support them. I tried to mold you and your brother into, well, not my image, but how I thought a successful man should be. I was so wrong, but Jimmy, you would be a good father."

"If you had it to do over, would you have stayed childless?"

"You were wanted, Jimmy, and so was Steven. I wish that I could go back in time with what I've learned and be a better father to you both. I've made such mistakes. I remember the first time I held you, when your mother was so tired one night and you were fussy and hungry. I was half afraid that I would drop you, but I didn't. You sucked the bottle till it was empty and then looked at me. You know, you still make that same expression sometimes. And I cuddled you and promised you and myself that I'd always protect you."

He bit his lip and then blurted out, "I'm so sorry, Jim. I'm so very sorry for what I did to you and Blair. I thought I was keeping that promise by sending Blair away. It's not safe to be a homosexual, and I didn't want Blair there to tempt you. Oh, I could see why you liked him. Loved him. Truth to tell, I liked him, too. But he was dangerous for you to be around. I was afraid you would track him down, that's why I kept tabs on him, so I could keep him moving to new places. I thought in another year or two, you would have forgotten about him, and I would have stopped the harassment. That year after he left was just too soon to leave him alone; you were still feeling so hurt by his abandoning you. I was afraid you might go looking for him. Each month that went by with you staying in Cascade made me feel a little easier. But then he turned up in that little town in Tennessee and you went to see him. When Sullivan told me that, I knew I couldn't take a chance on you falling back under his spell."

I interrupted him. "Dad, who did you hire to take the hit out on Blair? I want to nail his ass."

"I owe you that information, I know. Rick Davis, the head of Davis Shipping. I had heard things about him for years. Rumors mostly, but I sent out feelers and he said he would take care of it. For a price, of course."

I said, more to myself than my father, "He subbed that job out to local Tennessee talent."

Dad nodded. "Yes, I gathered as much. When Sully, ah, Captain Sullivan, told me that Blair had escaped death and returned to Cascade with you, I tried to contact Davis again, but was only able to leave a message for him to get in touch. I really wasn't sure what to tell him. I was hoping that you and Blair were still estranged and that you were safe. But then I talked to Blair on the phone, and the way he said your name told me he had feelings still for you. He told me you had lent him your phone and he said he would see you that night. I knew then that it was too late. He had snared you again. I felt so desperate, and when Blair agreed to see me, and to not tell anyone, I decided to take care of the problem myself."

"The problem! The problem has a name, and a life, Dad!"

"You're right. Of course I see how wrong I was now, but on that night, I thought maybe things could still be salvaged if Blair was dead. I decided to sacrifice Blair myself to save you." He looked away for a moment and then back at me. "I had second thoughts about killing him. I almost stopped him from drinking the coffee I'd doctored with my medicine. Then I thought about my brother and his death, and I hardened my heart. But don't think for a minute that I wanted to do that to Blair. When the police came and I realized that Blair hadn't been honest with me about being alone, I couldn't face the disgrace. I thought I'd spare you and Steven the trial and seeing me sent to prison. I'm profoundly sorry for all of it, Jim."

"You were dead on the floor, Dad, and your head was..." I couldn't finish. Dad stepped closer and tentatively put his arms around me. I let my father comfort me and his arms tightened into a hard embrace.

He whispered to me, "Jim, my son, please forgive me for what I've done to you and Blair. Forgive me for trying to make you deny who you were and are, as a boy and as a man. I love you, and I love Steven. Please tell him that, for me."

I hugged him back, tears wet on my face, and then let him go and stepped back.

I heard Blair's voice a distance away, talking to my spirit guide.

"Blair is coming. Do you realize that he's a shaman, Dad? He's an amazing man and I love him with everything I have within me. He's a healer. He helped me to let go of things that were damaging my soul."

My dad smiled. "He helped me, too. I think you're good for each other, and if you want it, you have my blessing. And Jim, you should talk to Blair about having a family."

"I will. He's good with kids. I used to tell people it was because he wasn't much older than a kid himself, kind of implying it in a mental way, but that's not it. He listens to them and respects them and just enjoys them. He's got the knack of managing children. But maybe that's just the teacher in him."

My father smiled. "He has a gift when it comes to teaching. He taught me to accept I hadn't been a bad child. He would be a good father, too."

"I don't know if he wants kids. But when I see him with children, like when he's holding Henri's baby daughter in his arms, it makes me want to see him with our kid. Kids. We could adopt or maybe find a surrogate mother."

Dad put his arm around me. "I regret so much about my life, Jim, but I've never regretted bringing you and Steven into the world. Your mother didn't either. She, well, she slipped away from us for her own reasons, but it was never because of you and your brother."

An epiphany struck me. I wondered if the reason I'd let Blair leave Cascade and hadn't tried to find him was because my father had never tried to locate my mother when she left. It was the Ellison way, apparently.

I said, "Blair will be here soon. Are you ready to say goodbye and leave this place?"

"I have something to say to Blair first. And then, I don't know. What happens if I go away? Where will I be?" I heard the fear again in his voice. I had no answers for him.

I heard Blair climbing up the hill to us. I felt... a mixture of things. Suddenly, I didn't want my father to go either. I still had so much to talk about with him. He should be back at his house, alive, enjoying Sally's cooking and reading the paper. Going with me to auto shows. Telling stories to my sons or daughters about the mischief I'd gotten into as a boy.

I'd never have that now. My throat felt thick, my eyes hot and stinging. My father just hugged me tighter.

Blair climbed up the last few steps to the ledge. He was flanked on either side by the wolf and the jaguar.

He was wearing the necklace I'd given him twice, the first time as a symbol of how much I appreciated his friendship and the second time to mark becoming my lover for the rest of our lives. I hoped it would be for eternity.

Dad was hesitant to go into the great unknown. If it was my time to cross over, I knew I would drag my feet unless Blair could go with me.

The many-pointed silver star necklace gleamed on his chest. It looked really good on him.

I couldn't say the same for those eye-jarring, headache inducing Bermudas he was wearing. I gave a mental note of thanks that they only existed on the spirit plane.

My father stiffened and pulled away from our sideways embrace.

Blair smiled, warm as a sunny day, at my dad and walked without hesitation to him, opening his arms wide. He stopped before crossing into my dad's personal space.

I waited to see what Dad would do.

My father stepped forward and accepted the hug, and then closed his own arms around Blair and hugged him until Blair made a squeaky sort of noise.

Then my dad kissed Blair on the cheek, looking very self-conscious, and stepped back.

Blair laughed delightedly. "One thing I'll say for the Ellison men. You guys sure can hug. William, I'm so glad to see you again. Are you well?"

Blair tilted his head sideways and I knew he was seeing William differently than the way my father had chosen to represent himself this time.

"Still a little worried about some things, but man, what a long way you've come. I'm so proud of you. I really wish that we had gotten to know each other better before you died."

Blair spoke sincerely, but his words were also a reminder that the clock was ticking for my dad. Blair had said Dad's time for being able to leave was ending very soon.

"Blair, I'm sorry-"

"I know. You've already told me so. And you've squared things with Jim. Now you have to do the hardest part. Forgive yourself, William James Ellison. You've accepted that you've made terrible mistakes, and you understand why you made them. You have asked for our forgiveness and we have given it to you, and Jim acts as Steven's proxy for this matter."

Blair put his hands on my dad's shoulders and drew him down until their foreheads were touching. It was a Chopec gesture, and I supposed my spirit guide had taught it to him.

"Let it go. Your self-hate and your fear. Let it all flow away from you. Accept yourself, all of yourself, and take that peace with you. The time has come for you to decide your fate."

My father started breathing in time to Blair's breathing. He reached out and rested his arms around Blair's waist.

I couldn't say how long my dad and Blair stayed that way because I was struggling with my own grief. This was it. The final parting of the ways. Even if Dad remained a ghost, he would mostly be stripped of everything that made him my father.

Finally, my dad let go of Blair and raised his head. Blair dropped his hands from Dad's shoulders and held his arm out to me. I stepped into the comfort of his embrace and waited for my dad to say what he wanted to do.

"So, if I stay here I would live here, in this jungle?"

Blair said, "No. You won't come here again, William. You will become an earth-bound spirit, doomed to haunt the house where you killed yourself. I hope that at least you won't try to harm anybody who comes there, but I'm not certain. That form of yourself is more... hmmm. Locked in to the trauma of death, I think. I doubt that you will remember any of your time on this spirit plane. You will just be a ghost, and find it difficult, very difficult to communicate. You will relive your death, and show any who summon you how you killed yourself."

"And what happens to me if I choose to leave this jungle? Where do I go? Heaven? Hell? Reincarnation? I was never a religious man and I have no real faith to cling to for support. Tell me, Blair. Jim said you're a shaman. What will happen to me?"

"Does the baby leaving the womb know what lies ahead? No. But our children leave their mother's bodies just the same. Did you know that it's the baby who initiates birth? I don't know what lies ahead for you. I don't know what lies ahead for me, or Jim, when it's our time. But it is your time right now, William, and if you do not accept that change then your soul will languish on the earthly plane, stillborn."

I looked at Blair, feeling the truth of his words, and it seemed to me that they had echoed as he spoke, power, true power infusing them.

My little shaman indeed.

My father closed his eyes and we waited.

When he opened them again, I could see he'd made his decision. He squared his shoulders and stood tall.

"I've been afraid for most of my life. I'll be damned if I let my fears conquer me at the end. I'll go and see what's on the other side of the veil."

"'But that the dread of something after death, the undiscover'd country from whose bourn no traveler returns, puzzles the will,'" Blair said. "We can't go with you, not all the way, but we'll keep you company for as long as we can."

Blair walked over to where the wolf and jaguar had made themselves comfortable by the campfire. He looked first into the wolf's eyes, and then the jaguar's, and they followed him back to William and me.

"Jim and I can give you some help, if you agree. Our spirit guides will lend you strength until they themselves must return. If they travel too far, Jim and I will die. We're trusting you to let them go at the final turn of the path, all right?"

William said, shocked, "How can you trust me like that? Blair, Jim, that's too risky. It's not safe for you."

Blair said, "Life is full of risks, man, and sometimes you have to give trust in order to receive it back. I'm trusting you, William." He glanced at me, clearly asking if he had overstepped his place, but I just nodded.

"Blair speaks for me, Dad. Go with my love and my trust."

"And mine. Do you accept this gift?"

Wiliam looked searchingly at each of us, and then nodded. The wolf ambled over to where my father was standing and butted him around the knees. He morphed into Blair, naked and beautiful, and melted into William. Then it was my spirit guide's turn, and I saw the image of myself, camouflage getup and Chopec face paint included, follow suit.

William took a deep breath, and smiled. He looked around, first at the front of the cave, and then towards the back. He said, "The path is this way. I can feel it."

I walked over to him and took one hand, and Blair took the other.

My dad stepped towards his future and we kept him company as we went further and further into the cave.

I suppose everyone's path from this life is different. My father's path looked nothing like the trail I had called Blair back from, when he'd died at the fountain. It was rocky, and hard going at places, but at last the cave narrowed down and brilliant light bathed the remaining path upwards. The cave had never totally darkened, there were small openings high above that allowed light and air into the cavern, but this was incandescent.

William let go of our hands, and we hugged him one last time. He whispered to me to tell Stevie that he loved him. He cast his eyes toward Blair and said, also quietly, "Talk to him soon, son."

Blair kissed Dad on the cheek, and my father touched the spot, smiling.

"Goodbye," he said, and he walked away from us. We watched him follow the trail upwards until he came to the opening, high above us. He waved one last time, a small dark silhouette outlined against the beckoning brilliance.

He turned and climbed out of the cave and disappeared.

Blair and I waited, holding hands. I suppose I was having a small, niggling doubt that maybe Dad would be unable to let our spirit guides return, and if so, then I was going to die holding tight to Blair.

Finally I heard the sound of running feet and our guides ran towards us and then mine jumped into me, and Blair's flung himself at my partner, and joined him.

I knew my dad was gone, and in the end he had passed over peacefully. I took a deep breath and jerked my head back towards the front of the cave where I could smell the campfire, even if I couldn't see it past the bends of the trail.

We returned to it in silence, but a comfortable one. I sat down and pulled Blair down to sit in front of me, my legs bracketing his body. We stayed that way for a long time, and I took comfort from my lover's presence and I felt he took it from mine.

"Jim, are you okay?"

"I suppose that at times I'll feel sad again, Chief. I'm also thankful that he made the decision he did. And that he released our spirit guides to come back to us. I'm glad that we'll have the chance to keep building a life together."

"William said that you should talk to me. What's that about?"

"I thought I was supposed to be the one with the bat ears. But I do have something to ask you. You know, we're kind of dusty from being in this cave and I'd like to go back to our pool and float around. Make love to you again in the water. Morning will come soon enough, and I'll wake up in the loft and you'll get up from the bunk in your truck and start driving again. So let's spend some quality time together while we can."

Blair wiggled free and rose. He extended a strong arm to me and I took it. I stood up and stretched.

"Chief, I've never heard you quote Shakespeare before."

"Uh, what? Oh, what I said to William. Well, um, not exactly."

I heard a hint of a smile in his voice. "Okay, Sandburg. Explain."

"It's the nerdy geek in me. I was quoting from the Star Trek movie, The Undiscovered Country. So I guess it was second-hand Shakespeare?"

I started to laugh. I tried to give him a noogie but he was too agile and ducked away. I took a good look at him. Short, strong body. Beautiful curls that a renaissance artist would have adored. Tip-tilted nose, lush lips. My Blair.

Then I frowned. Those god-awful Bermudas were ruining the picture. They had to go.

Blair looked down in surprise as he found himself nude once again, but still wearing his necklace.

Then he rolled his eyes. "Always with you, I've got to be naked here."

"Well, yeah."

He grinned mischievously. I found that my clothing and tribal markings were gone.

"Hey, we're sharing this joint now. And you know, I can get with the whole 'Having my lover be nude for me' program."

He reached out and ran his hand down my chest. "Mmmmm. Smooth and hard. I 've always loved the way your chest looks. Feels. And tag, you're it."

He tore out of the cave, laughing like a loon. He panted out, "Catch me before I get to the pool and I'll let you ride me. I get there first, and you fuck me."

I chased him, grinning fiercely.

I knew in my bones that life with my little shaman was never going to be dull.

The End of Comes a Time.

Epilog

"Officer Dave?" Kathleen ran over to me as soon as I walked into the truck stop. "Mama said you'd be coming soon."

"Your mama in the kitchen?" Kathleen reminded me of a new foal, all long limbs and quick, sometimes awkward movements. Girl was still a-growin'. I motioned for us to move out of the doorway, and we made our way into the back dining area, past most of the booths and tables.

"Yessir. She told me to keep an eye out for you. When are your friends gonna be here? Mama wants to meet them, too." She fidgeted a little. Marie had told me the girl had been wound up ever since I'd phoned them a week ago and asked if they wanted to meet with Blair.

I stopped walking and looked at my watch. Jim had called me about an hour ago, and we'd calculated he and Blair would probably be here in about fifteen or thirty minutes, unless there was to be an accident on I-40.

"Well now, Miss Kathleen, Jim – he'll be the tall one – and Blair should be along within a half hour." I stepped over to the wall and motioned for her to join me, so we'd be out of the way of the waitresses.

"Jim's the one like me?" Kathleen worried her lip, and I thought it wouldn't hurt to talk to the child about what to expect.

"Well, that's what Blair's goin' to talk to you and your mama about."

"What's Blair look like?"

"Oh, he's not so tall, got a head of brownish-red curls and sometimes he ties his hair back in a ponytail."

"Like River Wilson does? Is Blair a hippie like River?"

"I reckon he might be. Blair's a good man, Kathleen. Real smart, too."

"He's like the one in your grandpa's story, he helps Jim out?"

"I believe they help each other. Tell you what, you go tell your mama I'm here and I'll go grab that back booth. I'll treat you and myself to some of Opal's chocolate pie, and then I'll tell you the story again, just the way my grandpa told it to me."

She dashed on back to the kitchen and I sat down at the booth, took off my hat, and placed it on the bench next to me. Denise stopped by with coffee and took my order.

Jim and Blair were doing me a favor by stopping here this afternoon on their run to Knoxville. I hadn't laid eyes on those two since they'd left Sweetwater last year, Blair in protective custody. They'd had a time of it, even made the national news when Jim's dad had killed himself after trying to poison Blair.

We'd kept in touch with occasional phone calls. I knew Jim and Blair had worked things out between them. I'd called them after I learned about little Kathleen's senses being so much more stronger than normal. The girl was doing okay, but her mama wanted to know as much as she could about what was going on with her daughter.

Blair had sent Marie, Kathleen's mama, a mess of information on enhanced senses. Marie didn't quite know what to make of the changes in her daughter. She and Blair had talked a couple of times on the phone, and Blair was goin' to do a few quick tests today, see how Kathleen was doing.

Kathleen skipped on out of the kitchen and over to the booth. Denise followed right behind her carrying two large pieces of pie and a glass of milk.

"Mama said we're allowed to use the office when they get here." She sat herself down and thanked Denise for the pie and milk. I smiled at her, pleased at her good manners, and followed her polite example.

The pie was warm and sweet and piled high with whipped cream, and Denise laughed at me after I'd taken a bite.

"Dave Findley, I think you're enjoying that pie a sight more than you ought to. You're looking at it like my Johnny looks at me when I've gotten all dolled up."

"Maybe we're both just a tad hungry, Denise." I winked at her. "You tell your husband that I said hey, and that's he's a lucky fellow."

She chuckled and Kathleen and I got down to business. When there weren't nothing but crumbs left, I took a sip of coffee and thought back to how Grandpa had told all of us young'uns about our history.

"Well, this is what my grandpa told me, Kathleen."

She looked up at me and smiled. "I can tell it's a happy memory for you, Officer Dave."

"How, Kathleen?"

She giggled and tapped her nose.

"You're right. It does make me happy to tell this story. Now, hush and listen, as my grandpa used to say."

She pretended to zip her lips, and put her head in her hands, staring intently at me.

I cleared my throat. "Back years and years ago, before Sweetwater was much of a town, the Cherokee lived in the hills and hollers and the bottom lands. The People were thankful to the earth for lettin' us grow our food, and thankful to the rain for fillin' our creeks and rivers and helpin' the forests and plants to grow. We were thankful for the sun for givin' us light and warmth. And we were thankful for our elders, who gave us their wisdom, and we were thankful for our children, who gave us their laughter.

"And one day, when soldiers came to take the People away from their homes, send them to live faraway in a reservation in Oklahoma, all the Cherokee who lived in these lands were thankful for the Protectors of our people.

"This is the story my grandfather told me, that his grandfather told him, and that I will tell to you so that one day you can tell your own children and grandchildren of how Agateno-Dikata, Scout Eyes, and Avonvdo, Heart-Soul, kept the People of this place from walkin' the Trail of Tears."

Kathleen's eyes widened, and I settled into telling her the old story of how a sentinel and guide had saved my ancestor's bacon. Her family's too, most likely. Most everyone who was born and bred in these parts were at least part Cherokee. Maybe, if bein' a sentinel was genetic, Kathleen might even be descended from Agenteno-Dikata. If so, I wondered if there was somebody who would help her like Avonvdo had helped his sentinel.

Well, best to save those type of questions for Blair. I set my attention back on my storytellin'. "Now, Scout Eyes, he had ears like a bat, and one day he heard a whisper on the wind, too faint for any but a Protector to hear, of soldiers' talkin' to each other. They told of how they would come quiet through the fields and farms, climb the mountains, search out the hollers, and any of the People, young, old, sick or well that they found would be made captive and taken away. It was the will of the white man, they said. Scout Eyes found his good friend Heart-Soul, the one who helped him when his senses felt as wild and as unpredictable as a tornado. Heart-Soul was one who knew the spirit world, and guided the people well, for he was a teacher and had a kind heart. Scout Eyes said, 'Avonvdo, trouble comes to our people,' and Avonvdo said to him, 'This I know, Agenteno-Dikata, for the spirits have sent me a dream. If we join our hearts and hands, there is hope.' He held out his hand, and Scout Eyes took it. Such is the way of Protectors, Kathleen. Always, they will join with each other so that their gifts are balanced, and they can watch over their people."

Kathleen was too polite to interrupt, but I could see by the look on her face that she had somethin' she wanted to ask.

"There's a question in those big eyes of yours. Go on an' ask it, and then I'll tell you how Avonvdo and Agenteno-Dikata got the Tsalagi, that's the word for Cherokee, away from the soldiers."

"Are Jim and Blair? Are they Protectors?"

I looked at her direct and serious. "I don't know that they call themselves that, but to my mind? They surely are, Miss Kathleen."

I went on with the story, but I was also thinkin' about how Jim had used his sharp sense of hearing to save Blair from the hitmen contracted to kill him, and how the bite near Blair's neck had convinced me that he had dealin's with the mysteries. They really were Protectors, and legends still walked among us.

X x x

Kathleen came to attention like a huntin' dog scentin' a coon. She slid out of the booth and skedaddled over to the restaurant's door and pushed it open. I followed her outside and she pointed to the far side of the truck stop. A tall man was standing by the cab of a semi and he waved at us.

Kathleen said, excited, "That's Jim, Officer Dave. I'm gonna run and tell Mama." She darted back inside, and I headed over to where Jim was stretching his arms over his head. A few minutes later, we were shaking hands. Jim looked good, relaxed, smiling easily at me.

He said, warm and friendly, "Dave Findley, how are you? It's good to see you again."

"Hello again. I'm fine, thanks for askin'. Kathleen's-"

"Gone to tell her mother that we're here. I heard her."

"Think she's like you, Jim?"

He blew out a breath. "I'd rather let Blair make that call. But... I sensed she was here before I spotted her. By the way she hustled into the parking lot, I'm thinking she felt me, and maybe Blair, too. So, there's something, I think."

"Blair still in the truck?"

"He had to update his log book and call his dispatcher." He was silent for a moment. "He's done now.

We walked around to the other side of the truck and the driver's door opened. Blair looked down at me from his seat and grinned. "Dave, man, good to see you again." He looked healthy, although a little tired. He undid his seat belt and disappeared back into the back, pushing a curtain aside. I saw the bunk with its blankets neatly folded across the end. Jim's doing, I'd bet.

"You're not team driving, are you?" I asked Jim.

Jim laughed. "No. I'm, well, using up some of my vacation time, and Blair's boss is letting me tag along. Thought I'd better see the King of the Road in action while he was still running the highways."

Blair reappeared with a large, boxy suitcase in his arms. "Jim's driven a semi before." He was snickering, a mischievous expression on his face. I was pleased to see him like this; he'd been forlorn and sick as a dog when he'd been the guest of the Sweetwater P.D. before Jim had shown up and taken him back to Cascade.

"Laugh it up, Chuckles," Jim said, but he was grinning, too. "Just because I had a little trouble with the clutch..."

Blair handed down the suitcase to Jim and winked at me. "A little trouble? Jim, the engine was practically crying by the time you were done." He shot another teasing look at Jim. "Luckily, I was doing my loyal sidekick shtick and I was finally able to talk Jim into letting me drive."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Guess I'll be hearing Blair exaggerating that story for the next fifty years." I caught the addled look he sent Blair's way. Blair did, too, because he gave Jim back one just as goofy. Lovebirds, the pair of them.

"Well," I said, "Y'all let me know when you have a wedding ceremony, if you're making a to-do of it. I wouldn't mind a good excuse to go out to the West Coast and take a look around."

Blair, still looking at Jim and smiling, said, "As soon as it's legal, you bet we're getting married. But Dave, don't wait on that to happen. You're welcome to come visit us anytime and use our place as a base for traveling around- ah!" He was stepping down from the truck as he was talking and he stumbled, lost his footing, and started to take a nosedive. Jim swore and jumped towards him, but he was hampered by the bulky luggage in his arms.

I caught Blair before he hit the ground. He started laughing, and Jim grumbled that Blair should pay better attention to what he was doing. When I set Blair down he grabbed me and hugged me hard. "It's really good to see you, Dave. And you know, it hit me when you caught me like that, that the last time we met you were doing just the opposite of helping me get down from a truck."

"I was stuffin' you into one, I know. I'm still sorry I had to be rough on you."

He patted my arm, "I know. But everything turned out okay."

"Reckon it did, although I was sure sorry to hear about your father, Jim."

"Thanks, Dave. I know he found peace at the end."

I must have looked puzzled, because Blair said, "That's a story you might like to hear after we visit with Kathleen and Marie." I nodded, intrigued, because I knew Jim's father had died a violent death at his own hand.

"You two have to get to Knoxville tonight?"

Blair locked up the cab and pocketed the keys. "Nope. We're gonna bunk down in the parking lot here, leave around dawn."

"Well, there's a little bar with a pool table and a dartboard off this exit. I'm not working tonight, and I got a change of clothes with me. If you're not too tired, we could go and annoy the owner." I hoped they could come. I liked them both, although I'd had my doubts about Jim initially.

Jim and Blair did that married couple thing where they talked with their eyes to each other. Then Jim said, "That sounds great. There's a little girl inside, though, that's about ready to jump out of her shoes waiting for us, so we'll catch you up on our news there. Besides, I'd like to hear about how law enforcement is dealing with all the meth that's hitting this part of the country."

Blair started walking towards the restaurant, and Jim and I followed along. Blair said, over his shoulder, "And I want to hear about Maddie, and your family – you tell your brother that I'm still banging around on his old guitar – and find out if Deputy Mike is still as grumpy as ever."

"He is," I said. "I'll tell him you asked about him. You know, you ended up one of his favorite prisoners."

Blair shot me a disbelievin' look, and I chuckled. It was good to meet up with him and Jim again. I was lookin' forward to spendin' more time with them later in the evening.

X x x

Kathleen turned a little shy when I introduced her and Marie to Jim and Blair, but Blair soon had her chattering about school and her friends. The girl and her mother and Blair went into a back office, Blair carting that suitcase with him. I looked over at Jim, sitting with me at a back table. We'd decided to take a stab at emptying a pot of coffee.

"What's Blair got in that suitcase?"

"Bunch of stuff," Jim said. "Before I met him, he'd screened a lot of people for enhanced senses. What he's using to test Kathleen won't be as sophisticated as what he used at Rainier University, but he should be able to get a pretty good idea of how strong her senses are."

"Did he test you a lot?"

"All the time. I got tired of it, but he's a scientist and he needed documentation for his research."

"He ever goin' to be a scientist again? Or was that bridge burned for good?"

"I don't think he can stop being a scientist even if he's not getting a paycheck for that work. But I'll let him tell you about his plans."

We fell to talking shop. It was a good hour and a half before Kathleen and Marie stopped at our table. Kathleen took after her mama in her looks; Marie was tall and thin and her dark hair was pulled up in a messy bun. Her husband had died a few years back, killed in a logging accident. Kathleen was the baby of the family, her brothers and sisters already out on their own. Marie hoped that Kathleen would be able to go on to college. The girl had told me once that she wanted to be a doctor.

Marie said, "Blair's putting away his equipment. He said that we should talk to Jim and he'll join us in a few minutes. My little girl is like you, Detective Ellison. All of her senses are enhanced." She sounded more worried than thrilled to me, her hands on her daughter's shoulders.

Kathleen twisted around a little to look behind her and up at Marie. "Mama, he already knows that. Blair told him."

Jim said to Marie. "Kathleen's got you on her side, and she's got Findley here. Blair and me, too. Your daughter has a gift, Marie. But she also has choices."

He looked at Kathleen almost sternly, and I was reminded of how Sergeant Ames would stare hard at us new recruits, assessing us. She stood very still, eyes wide. Marie's fingers slid down her daughter's biceps and drew her back so that Kathleen was cocooned within her mother's arms.

"Did Blair tell you that among some people, a man or woman with the kind of gift that we have would look out for their people?"

Kathleen nodded. "They were Protectors."

"That's right. A Protector, a Sentinel, would warn them if an enemy was coming and tell them things like where to find game for hunting and safe water to drink. But if you don't want the job, you don't have to take it. You can turn off your enhanced senses. I've done it before. I did it the first time when I was about your age. Later, after I'd become a sentinel for the Chopec, a tribe that lives in South America, I turned my senses back off again for a couple of years."

Marie said, "You did? Kathleen can do that, too?"

"Yes," Jim said. He turned his attention back to the girl. "Being a sentinel is something you have to agree to do. A very special kind of teacher taught me that. And you don't have to make any decisions right now. I just want you to understand that you do have a choice in this."

Kathleen said softly, "Will I have somebody like Blair to help me?"

Jim said, slow and thoughtful, pushing his coffee cup away towards the middle of the table. "I think so. I had several people that helped me before I met Blair. One was my football coach. Another was a shaman, a wise man of the tribe I lived with in South America. Blair, though, he's very special to me and we have a different, stronger connection than I had with Bud or Incacha. If you choose to keep your senses turned on, then I think you'll find people that will help you, too."

Kathleen lifted her chin. "I want to be a Protector. I want to be a doctor. I can hear people's hearts beating without a stethoscope or putting my head on their chest. I heard Mrs. McCoy's heart beating too fast and fluttery and I told Mama about it and she talked Mrs. McCoy into going to see the doctor at the ER. She's better now, isn't she, Mama?"

"Yes, baby. You did good."

Jim said, "Sometimes people won't believe you, even if you give them proof. Other people - kids, adults - they might tell you it's all in your head."

"I know. But I know the truth, and Mama does, and my brothers and sisters do, too. And Officer Dave, he knows and so do you and Blair. If somebody tells me that I'm crazy, I'll just remember the people who know that I'm not."

She cocked her head a little to the side, and I noticed that Jim was doing the same thing.

They said at the same time, "Blair's coming," and then Kathleen said, a delighted look on her face, "Jinx. You owe me a coke."

"Kathleen! Jim doesn't-"

"Oh, yes he does," Blair said, coming around a corner. "Rules are rules, man. Jim's all over the whole following the rules thing."

Jim signaled Denise, and she started walking towards us, order pad in her hand.

"Blair's right. I follow the important rules. I'll buy you a coke and your mama one, too."

Then Jim semi-whispered to her, "Blair keeps forgetting a really important rule at our house, though."

"What?" Her eyes were dancing, her lips turned up in amusement.

"Picking up his towels. He leaves them all over the kitchen and the living room."

She giggled, and Jim and I got up from the table, waving Kathleen and Marie to sit down.

Blair walked up to us and Jim took the heavy suitcase from him.

Blair tilted his head a little to the left, as he looked at Kathleen. His eyes turned hazy for a moment, then he straightened up. I knew he'd just consulted with the mysteries.

"Kathleen, Marie, it was an honor meeting you both. Kathleen is fine. Just in case she sometimes has trouble balancing her senses, try some of the exercises I sent you. The main thing is to not overdo it on just one sense. You can ground her or she can learn to ground herself by engaging at least two senses when over-extending a sense. But you can call me if anything comes up that stumps you."

"Thank you," Marie said. "Both of you."

Kathleen slid out of her chair and hugged both Jim and Blair. "Thank you, Detective Jim and Blair. I'm going to do what Officer Dave said, and someday I'm gonna tell my kids and grandbabies that I met a sentinel and a guide. Just like Heart-Soul and Scout Eyes."

Blair was only an inch or so taller than Kathleen. He glanced at Marie and made a reaching gesture towards Kathleen. Marie nodded, and Blair gently took Kathleen by the shoulders and pulled her closer to him.

He said, looking her in the eyes, "Being Jim's guide is what I want to be, Kathleen. I think it's fine that you want to be a sentinel like Jim, and help people. But I want you to remember that first of all, you're Kathleen, and I know that Jim told you about having a choice about all of this. Being a sentinel is a job for adults. Right now you need to grow up safe and to be happy."

Blair glanced at Marie.

"I know you can talk to your mom about problems. That's great. Your mom loves you so much. If for some reason you can't say anything to your mom, do you have other people you can talk to if you're not happy or you feel unsafe?"

Marie said, "Tell him, baby. Like we've talked about before, remember? If you need help who can you go to besides me?"

"My family. Officer Dave. Miss Connie, at school. Johnny and Sissy."

"That's great." Blair let her go and pulled a bracelet off his wrist. It was pretty, woven with little beads and bright colors.

"This is a friendship bracelet that I bought in Peru years ago. I've been waiting to find the right person to give it to, and today, I met her. If you want it, that is. You don't ever have to accept gifts that make you feel uncomfortable."

But Kathleen had already stuck her arm out, a delighted expression on her face. Then a chagrined look passed over her face and she turned to Marie. "Mama? Can I keep it?"

"Yes, honey. And remember to thank Blair." Marie mouthed, "Thank you" at Blair. I sure didn't think it was for the little bracelet, though.

Kathleen let Blair slide the bracelet on her wrist and he showed her how to fasten it.

The girl said, "Thank you, Blair. Every day I'll see it and I'll remember what we talked about."

"You're welcome," Blair said gently. "We're gonna go hang out with Dave, so we'll say adios."

We all said a round of goodbyes, and Marie told Blair and Jim to drive safe. Kathleen sat back down and showed her mother her bracelet. Denise brought over their cokes; Jim gave Denise a fiver and told her to keep the change.

Jim laughed as we got into my truck, Blair scrambling to sit in the back seat. "Kathleen just told her mother that Blair was really cute for an old guy."

"Ha. Ha," Blair said.

Jim said, sending me a look, "All present in this truck who think that Blair Sandburg is cute, raise their hands."

Jim and I raised our hands, and Blair said, "You guys suck. I hate being called cute," but he was smiling anyway.

X x x

We were waitin' for a pool table to open up, having downed one round of beers and argued over basketball teams. I liked Joe's Place, and Jim and Blair seemed to appreciate the steak sandwiches and the beer selection.

"Hey, Dave?" Blair said, scribbling down something on a napkin. "You're more than welcome to come and visit us, but our phone number and address have changed."

He slid the napkin over to me and I read it. "Vancouver? Y'all moving to Canada?"

Jim shook his head. "No, Vancouver, USA. It's a small city across the river from Portland, Oregon. Still in Washington, though, so I can keep my benefits. I'll be joining the P.D. there."

"As a detective?"

"Yes. We, ah, well, we were ready for some changes. Blair got a great job there as a prosecuting attorney investigator."

"Really." I turned towards Blair. "So I guess you're ready to stop drivin'."

Blair nodded. "I'm gonna keep my license up to date, though. Never know when it'll come in handy."

"So tell me about this new job of yours."

Blair's eyes lit up and he talked non-stop for twenty minutes about how his background in anthropology and his years as a police observer made being an investigator a good fit for him. He would even be working with Jim on some cases, most likely.

I was curious and decided to not beat around the bush. "You run into any trouble on account of the lyin' you did to protect Jim?"

Blair took a deep breath. "Yes. It was near thing, them hiring me for the job, but Jim gave them a demonstration of what he could do after I had the hiring committee sign non-disclosure agreements. I explained why I had publicly called myself a fraud and they accepted my reasons. And I had one member really pulling for me."

Jim took a long swallow of his beer. "He had fantastic references and that balanced out a lot of the negative stuff. My former captain went to bat for him, too."

"You selling your place in Cascade then, or are you just goin' to rent it out?"

"It's sold. One of the guys in Burglary and Theft bought it. And we've bought a four bedroom house in Vancouver. There's woods on the property and a creek. And an outbuilding that we're gonna turn into a welding and woodworking shop."

"Four bedrooms?"

Jim nodded. "We want kids. Blair's mom can put us in touch with several women who are willing to be surrogates, and we're also going to look into adoption."

I lifted my beer to them. "You two will be good daddies."

Jim said, "You know, I didn't think I'd be any good at being a father, although I've always thought that Blair would be great at being a dad. He's got a real knack with kids. But being with him, and after working some stuff out, well, I think I can be a decent parent and not totally screw up my kids."

Blair punched Jim on the arm. "Are you kidding me? You'll be a great dad." Jim grabbed Blair's hand so he wouldn't punch him again, but I noticed he didn't let go of him. Just kept on holding Blair's hand. Blair said, "Kids trust Jim. I wasn't even surprised when he asked me to consider being a parent with him."

"Well now," I said. "New jobs for both of you, selling your loft, buying a new house, and I know Blair's pretty much finished his Ph.D."

"Just waiting for the longitudinal research to be compiled," Blair said.

"When do you start the new jobs?"

Jim said, "In late August. Peterson will take possession of the loft August first. But before we settle down in Vancouver, I'm keeping a promise I made to Blair over a year ago."

Blair beamed. "We are going on vacation. We're gonna go to Mexico and spend time being lazy on the beach and we're also going to do more research on the Temple of the Sentinels. We'll be gone a month, but we'll move our stuff into the new house before we leave. It'll be great."

I thought back to how miserable Blair had been when I'd first met him, how angry Jim had acted when he'd come to Sweetwater. They'd been through a lot, but it seemed they'd come out stronger for it. Happiness radiated from them.

"Well," I said. "Comes a time for changes. My granny was fond of sayin' that to me. Congratulations on yours. What's the Temple of the Sentinels?"

Blair said, "That's a long story. It's- hey, the table's open now. We'll tell you later." He pointed to the pool table in the back corner. "Who's going first?"

"You two can play first, and I'll play the winner," I said.

"Sweet. You can watch me wipe the floor with Jim." Blair winked at me.

"Them's fightin' words, Chief," Jim said with a grin. "Care to make a wager?"

"Sure. How about if I win, you clean the bathroom for my next two turns, and if you win, I'll do the same for you."

"What if I lose when I play the winner?" I asked.

Grinnin', Jim and Blair each pointed at their own chests, then they pointed at each other, and then both of them turned and pointed at me. Blair started laughin'. It looked like some sort of ritual the two of them had.

"Dave, ol' buddy. You lose, you buy us a beer," Blair said.

"What if I win?"

"What do you want?" Jim asked.

"A beer sounds fine. A good one. And you let Joe over there behind the counter take your picture with me and put it on the wall of shame."

"You're on. C'mon, Sandburg."

Blair scrambled up from his chair and followed Jim, who was taking large strides towards the abandoned pool table.

Sentinel and guide. Jim and Blair. I was proud to call them my friends.

X x x

The End of the A Fair Distance series.

Author's Note:

And this brings the story to an end. I want to thank T. Verano for being an incredible beta. Her insights and eye for details have been greatly appreciated.

Also, since I started writing this in 2007, I want to thank the readers who have patiently waited for each new chapter. You guys rock, and I've loved every comment I've received.

Thank you,

Laurie

August 30, 2013.