Princess Among Paupers

April 12th 1912

Early Morning

I woke up the next morning to Imogen staring me in the face. Startled, I sat up quickly, smacking my forehead on the low celling.

"Blast," I hissed, rubbing my head and gritting my teeth.

Imogen raised her eyebrow.

"Sorry Immy," I sighed, "How did you sleep?"

"Good, I heard you come in last night," Imogen said, fixing her dress so it laid across her lap straighter.

"I'm sorry to have woken you," I replied.

Imogen grinned, her round, freckled cheeks turning pink, "I heard you and my mommy talking last night too."

"Oh?" I said suspiciously as Imogen got a playfully wicked look on her face, "Eavesdropping were you? Do you know what Titanic crew members do to little girls who eavesdrop?" I asked and Imogen shook her head, "They keel haul you!" I said, reeching over and tickling her sides. Imogen screeched with laughter, making me laugh too. She finally crawled down from my bunk, allowing me to get ready.

"Where's Helga?" I asked Arlene, noticing her bunk empty once again.

"Left with her parents early in the morning," Arlene replied, helping get Declan dressed.

Did Helga ever leave her parents side?

I tried to pin up my hair. It was being especially frustrating today, the fair strands refusing to stay in the pins.

Just as I finished getting dressed, a knock came to our door. Imogen ran to it, standing on her tiptoes to turn the knob on the door and open it. Jack stood in the doorway, Fabrizio behind him.

"Emily, it's your handsome man!" Imogen announced happily.

I felt my face flush and Jack grinned, very flattered and no doubt pleased with himself for being so very handsome. Arlene quickly shushed Imogen, who ran to her mothers side in giggles.

"You look well," Jack said lightly, turning to me. He had his sketches under his arm and the faint shadow under his eyes was the only indication of our little venture from the previous night.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, I had a wonderful nights rest," I said sarcastically, self consciously tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

I looked over at Fabrizio who was gazing around the room hopefully. I think he was searching for a certain Norwegian woman.

"Helga has already left, sorry Fabrizio," I said.

Fabrizio shrugged like it was nothing, though I saw the little pang of sadness in his eyes.

I left the room and we made our way up to C Deck, where the third class general room was. A haze of smoke settled over the room when we descended the stairs. I gazed around. There were women talking on the benches and some sewing in the corner. The men smoked and talked, occasionally laughing to loudly. A few of the kids were chasing around rats, trying to catch them before they disappeared into their holes. In the corner of the room, a man was playing the piano. It was loud, noisy and boisterous, just what I expected of steerage.

Near the back corner of the room, I spotted a familiar face. I smiled and took Fabrizio by the hand.

"Where are we going?" Fabrizio asked quizzically.

"Just follow me," I replied and led Fabrizio, weaving between passengers.

I finally stopped at the bench, where Helga was sitting, sewing. She looked up as I approached and smiled. Noticing Fabrizio just behind me, I saw her blush then look down quickly. Fabrizio looked down at his feet as well, blushing furiously. I had hoped that when they saw each other, they would, at the very least, say a polite hello. Nothing passed between them though, just curious glances and shy smiles.

"Helga," I said smiling, "This is Fabrizio De Rossi."

I pointed to Fabrizio.

"Fabrizio," I continued, "I would like you to meet my roommate, Helga Dahl."

I indicated to Helga.

I stepped aside and watched Fabrizio take a seat next to Helga. They immediately striked up a conversation. Fabrizio spoke in broken English and Helga spoke only Norwegian, but they managed by speaking with their hands and reading each others lips. I couldn't help but smile at their sweet innocence. Despite the language barrier, they said everything that needed to be said.

I walked back over to Jack, who was watching me curiously. He was leaned up against on of the wooden pillars, arms crossed.

"Playing match maker, are you?" Jack asked.

I smiled, looking back over my shoulder at Fabrizio and Helga.

"I good match," I commented, "Don't you agree?"

Jack chuckled, "Let's take a seat," he said, without answering my question. We sat on the other side of the bench, near enough to Fabrizio and Helga to hear what they were talking about but far enough away to give them some privacy.

They looked happy. The chemistry between them was undeniable.

Jack flipped open his sketches to a new blank sheet of paper and began sketching. I watched him, his brow furrowing in concentration.

How could Helga and Fabrizio, two complete strangers from two completely different parts of the world, communicate with subtle affection and I can't even tell Jack, who I've known for three years, how I feel about him? I could pack up and board Titanic, leave London for America, all on only a whim and yet I couldn't find the courage to face my true feelings.

I felt frustrated with myself. I was spirited and fiery and bold; as my grandmother would say,"Much to wild a heart to find a suitable husband." I could almost hear her voice as I repeated the familiar saying.

So why was this so hard? Why was it so hard to sit quietly, watching the man I loved go on through life not knowing how I felt?

It was completely unlike me.

All I had to do was say a few simple words, just three words, and yet those three words scared me to silence.

I looked back at Jack, who was now talking to a little brown haired girl.

"Do you want to see it?" Jack asked, offering his leather bound sketch papers. The little girl nodded, her brown curls bouncing around her face as she did so. I recognized her from day before, when we were on the deck; where Jack had very first laid eyes on Rose. He had been drawing the little girl and her father watching the seagulls.

Jack flipped open to the drawing of the little girl and her father, showing her.

"That's me!" she said happily, pointing.

Jack chuckled, "Of course it is. Do you like the drawing?"

The girl nodded.

Jack let out his breath exaggeratedly, whipping his hand across his forehead, pretending that he had been anticipating the little girls answer, "Thank goodness, I was worried you wouldn't like it."

The little girl giggled.

"What's your name?" Jack asked.

"Cora Cartmell," the girl said, giving a polite curtsy.

Jack grinned, standing up, "Very pleased to make your acquaintance Miss Cartmell," he said with an extravagant bow and a flourish of his hand, "My name is Jack Dawson."

It was a little excessive for my taste, but Cora seemed thrilled by it. She giggled, obviously taken by Jack. Jack took a seat and Cora climbed up as well, situating herself between me and Jack. Looking over her brown head, Jack smiled at me.

"I'm here with my parents," Cora explained, pointing, "They're over there."

"I'm here with my friends," Jack replied, indicating to me, "That's my friend, Emily Cross. Don't worry she doesn't alway look so scary. It's just been a bad day."

My jaw dropped. If Cora hadn't been sitting right next to me, I would have had a few choice curse words to throw Jack's direction. He only glanced at me again, flashing me and irksome smile.

"You are good at drawing," Cora commented, looking again at the picture of her and her father.

"Thank you Cora," Jack said, flipping over to a blank sheet. He handed Cora a bit of charcoal, "Wan't to help me draw another picture?"

Cora nodded and the two began drawing contently.

I could feel a pair of eyes on me. I looked up, glancing around the room, when my gaze settled on a light haired Irishman with a cigarette in his mouth. It was Tommy Ryan, the man who we met the other day. He grinned at me when I caught his eye. I nodded to him, who nodded back politely, before excusing himself from the conversation he was having with another gentleman.

He walked over, taking his cigarette between his two fingers. Jack looked up and when he saw Tommy. He grinned.

"Morning Tommy," Jack said.

"Morning Jackie, Emily," he greeted, nodding at me.

"Hello Tommy," I said and smiled.

Tommy grabbed a seat and pulled it over to us, sitting, "What are you lot up to?"

"Making new friends," Jack replied. Cora looked up at Tommy and smiled, her eye flickering to me before she continued helping Jack drawing.

Tommy smiled, watching Cora and Jack, soon noticing a stack of portraits on the bench next to us. He grabbed them up, shuffling through the papers before he realized that they were portraits of passengers.

"Interesting," he murmured, looking around and comparing the drawings to the real life.

I glance over at Fabrizio and Helga to see them both talking and smiling. I caught a bit of their conversation.

"No Italian? Some, little English?" Fabrizio was saying.

Helga laughed and shook her head, "No, no. Norwegian."

I turned back to Tommy, who was now comparing a drawing of an older man with a thick beard. He turned to the next portrait then looked right at me. I felt my cheeks grow warm, figuring he must have found a drawing of me in Jack's stack of sketches. I looked away, not enjoying the sudden attention.

"You're very good," Tommy finally said, nodding his head in approval, "Very, very good."

Jack, who was still drawing with Cora, took a while to answer, "Thanks."

"Cora," said a deep male voice. It was Cora's father, walking with his wife, "It's time to go now, say your goodbyes."

Cora jumped down from the bench and took her fathers outstretched hand, "Goodbye!" She said over her shoulder.

"Bye," Jack called. I smiled and waved to her as she disappeared into the crowd with her parents.

"How long have you been drawing?" Tommy asked, once Cora had left. He handed Jack back his sketches.

"Long time," Jack replied, "Eight years or so."

"I can tell," Tommy mused, "You have a very practiced hand."

"Thanks," Jack said again.

I could now hear Fabrizio and Helga teaching each other how to pronounce the others name. I looked at them again, smiling to myself. Suddenly, something caught Helga's eye and she looked towards the stairs of the general room. She touched Fabrizio lightly, then pointed. I followed her gaze.

It was Rose. She was standing at the top of the stairs wearily, the morning sun behind her creating a gold halo. She entered the general room and one by one voices fell quiet and all eyes turned to her. I, like everyone else, could not help but stare. She was a princess among paupers.

I couldn't tell how, or why, she would want to come down to third class but she came anyways. She glanced around before looking directly at Jack, making her way over to us. Tommy, Fabrizio and Helga were all speechless in her presence. Jack stood up quickly, a few of his portraits falling to the floor. He didn't even bother to pick them up. It was like he was mesmerized, for the real Jack treasured his sketches and wouldn't have left them lying there.

"Hello Mr. Dawson," Rose said, very formally and very aware that all the attention in the general room was focused on her.

"Hello again," Jack replied gently, tenderly.

"My I have a word with you?" Rose asked.

"Yes, of course," Jack replied and stood there, waiting for her to speak.

Rose glanced around, smiling nervously before saying softly, "Alone?"

I looked at Tommy, who snickered behind his hand.

"Oh, right. Of course," Jack said, shaking his head and blushing. I almost couldn't believe my eyes. Jack never blushed, ever. He gathered up his drawings hastily and began following Rose out the door, not before he gave Tommy a hard smack on the shoulder for laughing though.

Just like that, Jack was off following Rose, without so much as a goodbye to me.

Tommy looked at Fabrizio, who looked at Rose then back at Tommy, who looked back at Rose before both they both began laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation. Tommy shook his head and Helga smiled. I seemed to be the only one not amused by Rose entering third class.

Where had Quartermaster Rowe been when she decided to enter a deck that wasn't hers? I thought sarcastically, crossing my arms.

"I need to have Jackie teach me that angels and arses trick, eh?" Tommy asked and Fabrizio laughed, "How did that happen?"

"Jack saved her life last night," I blurted out before I could stop myself. Three pairs of eyes turned on me curiously, expecting the story. I sighed and recounted the details of the previous night, being sure to leave out my own humiliating details.

Tommy, Helga and Fabrizio laughed again. It seemed Jack had all the luck, saving the life of a pretty first class woman then being invited to dine with her as a reward.

I saw no humor in any of it.

Sensing my bitterness, Tommy leaned over to me, "Now what's got you all upset Emily?" he asked.

"Nothing," I replied and for added measure, I gave him a quick smile, "Will you excuse me?" I said, grabbing the few pieces of paper that had fallen from Jack's lap. I tucked them away, and stood up, taking the stairs two at a time to the deck.

I blinked away the bright sunlight, looking around. I spotted Rose's curly head of red hair just before she disappeared down another part of the deck. Keeping far enough away just to hear what she was saying, I followed her and Jack.

"Look, I know what you must be thinking," Rose was saying, "Poor little rich girl! What does she know about misery?"

"No, that's not at all what I was thinking. What I was thinking was...what could have happened to hurt this girl so much she though she had no way out?" Jack replied.

They got too far ahead of me for me to hear anything more. I lingered back, hoping not to get caught. There weren't exactly a lot of places to keep hidden on the deck.

"Sneaking around are you?" said a husky Irish voice from behind me. The sweet smell of tabacoo suddenly filled my nostrils and the heat from Tommy's breath tickled my ear. I jumped and spund around quickly, almost running into him. He smirked wickedly. I blushed furiously, angry at being caught and angry that Tommy had followed me.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed. I grabbbed a fist full of Tommy's shirt and dragged him behind one of the lifeboats so we wouldn't be seen.

"I might ask you the same thing," Tommy replied, chuckling at my expense.

I glared, "For your information I was returning Jack's portraits to him," I said haughtily.

"Sure you were," Tommy said, moving his cigarette to the other side of his mouth, smirking.

"I was," I insisted.

Tommy just glanced around the side of the lifeboat at Jack and Rose, "What are we listening for?" he asked.

"We are not listening for anything," I replied, turning to see if Jack and Rose had moved yet, "Now hush."

Tommy chuckled softly behind me, moving closer to get a better look. He stood close, close enough for me to feel the heat radiating from his body. I tried to ignore his presence as Jack began talking.

"Do you love him?" He asked and I assumed he was talking about Cal.

"Pardon me?"

"Do you love him?" Jack repeated.

Rose seemed taken aback, "You're being very rude, you shouldn't be asking me this."

"Well it's a simple question, do you love the man or not?"

Rose laughed nervously, "This is not a suitable conversation," she said trying to change the subject. She began walking off, heading mine and Tommy's direction.

"Shite!" Tommy hissed and we tucked ourselves away tighter. I pressed my back against the wood of the lifeboat and Tommy moved closer to me to keep out of sight. I glanced up at him and he looked down at me with a soft smile, our faces just inches away. I turned back to spy on Jack and Rose. Thankfully, she didn't get far.

"This is absurd!" She cried, "I don't know you and you don't know me! We are not having this conversation! You are rude and presumptuous and I am leaving now. Jack, Mr. Dawson, it's been a pleasure. I sought you out to thank you and now I have."

"And you've insulted me," Jack pointed out.

"Well you deserved it!" Rose rebutted.

"Right," Jack said.

"Right," Rose agreed and turned to leave, this time passing right by Tommy and I. We did not go unnoticed. Rose gasped loudly, taking a few startled steps back. Jack came to see what she was looking at, peering around the lifeboat. Tommy and I smiled at them guiltily before stepping out of the shadow of the lifeboat.

"Emily!" Jack said, and I noticed his expression change. He was annoyed. When we were younger Jack always looked at me like that, but never now. It hurt, and I suddenly felt awful for sneaking around behind his back, "What are you doing?" he asked.

I fumbled for the drawings, my face falling, "I just wanted to give these back," I muttered, avoiding everyones eye, "I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

I handed over the portraits and Jack tucked them in with the rest. He, nor Rose, needed to say anything. Tommy and I were not welcome on the deck. Taking hold of Tommy's sleeve, I turned and started making my way below decks, Tommy in tow. My face was burning from embarrassment and I was feeling very chastised. Behind me, Rose spoke again, her voice still laced with the irritation from before.

"What is this stupid thing you carry around anyways? Are you an artist or something?" She said, snatching Jack's drawings from him.

The rest of the conversation was lost as Tommy and I moved further away from Jack and Rose.

"Well, that was a bust," Tommy commented, tossing his cigarette butt off the side of the ship and pulling out a new one. He was completely indifferent to getting caught. Of course, Jack didn't look at him with disappointment in his eyes, so why shouldn't he be?

I frowned, "I shouldn't have followed him, that was stupid," I mumbled.

"You're just angry because you were caught," Tommy said, trying to light the new cigarette with a match.

I glared at him, "Am not," I protested, though it was true.

"Hey, you two! You shouldn't be up here."

I looked over my shoulder as a Titanic crew member made his way towards us, striding over with long, purposeful steps. Tommy waved his hand at the crew member who began herding us towards to the gates to third class, like cattle.

"Sod off, will you?" Tommy snapped, opening the gate for me. We slipped through, down the steps, the crew member making sure the gate was latched after us.

"Bleeding eejit," Tommy muttered.

I couldn't help but smile. For some reason, Tommy loosing his temper, made mine all the better. He looked at me, smiled back, and just like that our bad moods dispelled.

We walked back to the general room slowly, taking time to actually get to know each other. Tommy asked most of the questions, and listened polietly as I talked about leaving America for London and living with my grandmother. He asked about my father back home and how long I had known Jack and Fabrizio. I dutifully asnwered each of his questions, but kept my responces vauge; I had never liked attention and I wasn't one for opening up to strangers.

"So why not stay in London with your grandmother? It seems to me you were well off there," Tommy said after I answered one of his many questions.

"I wasnt well off and why all the questions?" I replied.

Tommy chuckled innocently, "You're a curious creature Emily Cross, do you know that? I'm just trying to figure you out."

I snorted, "I wish you luck with that," I said, "I have yet to figure myself out."

We finally descended into the general room once more. Fabrizio and Helga were exactly where we left them moments before. We walked over and joined thier conversation, letting a few hours slip by in good company.