Tea Cups and Gossip

April 12th 1912

Evening

I was sitting on my bunk, reading quietly when there was a knock at the door. After getting caught by Jack and Rose, Tommy and I joined Helga and Fabrizio back in the general room and talked. After a couple of hours, Helga's parents finally manged to tear Helga away from us and Tommy left soon after. Fabrizio walked me back to my cabin. Arlene and her children were gone and I assumed that Helga was still with her parents. I climbed down from my bed and opened the door. I didn't even recognize the man before me.

"Jack," I said, surprised, "What the hell did they do to you?" I asked, smirking.

Jack rolled his eyes, stepping into the room, opening his arms and presenting himself, "I wanted to see you before dinner tonight. What do you think? Could I pass for posh?"

Jack was dressed is a sleek black coat and a stiff shirt that had gold studs down the front. He had a neck tie on, and the shoes he wore were shinning and looked like they hadn't been used. His hair, which usually hung in his eyes, was slicked back. The charcoal dust from his drawings that often streaked his face had been whipped clean. He smiled at me, beaming. He looked happier than I had ever seen him.

"You look..." I paused searching for the right words, "Perfect, Jack, you look perfect."

Jack's grin widened, "Thanks. After I talked with Rose she introduced me to her mother and some of her friends. A woman named Molly Brown lent me the clothes, she's going to be at the dinner tonight with Rose, Cal and everyone else," Jack replied, his eyes turning to the papers spread over my bed, "What were you doing?"

"Oh, just reading," I said, blushing slightly and moving to gather up the notes.

My blush did not go unnoticed by Jack. "What were you reading?"

"Old letters," I said, "I kept all the ones you wrote me while you traveled."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "You did? I can't believe that."

"Well, believe it," I said, watching Jack fiddle with the clasps on his sleeve, "You look nervous," I commented, taking a seat on Helga's bunk.

"Nervous? I'm so frightened Emily," Jack said, reaching up and tugging at his collar, "Rose, is...is everything. I want to impress her tonight, show her that I care about her. She's not like other girls that I have met before. She's heavenly, the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on," Jack let out a loud sigh and set down next to me, rocking the mattress, "I can't stop thinking about her. I can see her everywhere; her red hair, her smell, her smile," Jack sighed again.

With every word, I felt like Jack was slowly putting a knife through me. Every compliment he gave to Rose was another twist of the dagger in my stomach. I looked away. I couldn't take it. I wanted to cover my ears and scream. Couldn't Jack see what he was doing to me? He was torturing me, talking about how he felt about Rose when I felt that same way about him. It was torment. Was he so blind that he couldn't see that I, Emily Cross, his friend for years, was deeply, madly, and inevitably in love with him?

Why can't you see it Jack? Why can't you see me?

Jack was still talking, though I was trying hard not to listen.

"And when she laughs! It's like the sound of silver bells, Emily, the sweetest sound I've ever heard. She's a lot like you, you know. Passionate though not as head strong and vivacious," Jack laughed.

He might as well had slapped me across the face.

Don't Jack, I thought, Don't compare me to her.

I took a deep breath, looking at Jack. "You're not...in love with her. Are you?" I asked quietly.

Jack looked down at his hands, "I think I might be," he replied softly.

I stood up and walked to the wash basin, bracing myself against the ceramic bowl. My head was swimming. I felt my temper flare, replacing the jealousy I had for Rose and unrequited feelings I had for Jack.

"You think?" I asked, my voice rising, "Jack! You're known her two days. Not even that!"

Jack jumped to his feet, putting his hands up in self defence. "I know it sounds crazy. I've never felt this way about anyone though."

I took a deep breath, then another one, trying to calm my self. This was all so backwards. Jack wasn't supposed to fall in love, at least not with some high society girl.

"Can you help me?" Jack asked after a moment of silence.

"Help you with what?"

"You know, with good etiquette," Jack said, walking over to me, "You grandmother taught you that, right?"

I sighed, turning to him. He had an eager smile on his face; a student ready and willing to learn. It was the smile of a love struck man. I couldn't help but give him a weak smile back. I loved Jack and I wanted him to be happy, and if that meant helping him get Rose, then so be it. I would help him and Rose be together and in two days time, all of this would be behind us. Rose would run off with her fiancé when Titanic docked in America and Jack would be free to move on with his life.

"Okay," I sighed, straightening up and pushing a lock of hair out of my face, "First off, you have to stand straight. No leaning against door frames or chairs or posts, understand? Don't cross your arms either," I instructed, racketing my brain and trying to remember what my grandmother had told me.

With each instruction, Jack did as he was told, straightening his spine, putting his hands by his sides and so on.

"Cal will most likely be escorting Rose's mother, out of respect, so you'll be escorting Rose," I explained and walked over to him, lifting Jacks arm and placing my hand in the crook of his elbow, "See? Simple," I said and stepped back, "Don't sit before the host or hostess, it's offensive. There will be more silverware than you can count and even more rules to abide by when using them. We don't have near enough time to go over that so just watch the other people at the dinner. Follow their lead," I said.

Jack smiled, "Thank you Emily," he said, tugging at his collar again, messing up the neck tie.

I shook my head, reaching up to fix it, "Your welcome," I replied, straightening his tie and then I lifted his chin, "Keep that up," I instructed and smiled, my fingers lingering on his collar, "You don't need to worrying about impressing Rose and you don't need to be nervous. Everyone that meets you is charmed by you, Jack. Rose is a lucky woman, who is obviously just as amorous about you as you are about her."

Jack looked at me, his bright eyes hopeful, "You think?"

"Of course," I replied, "She came down to third class to find you! And the way she looks at you, Jack, it's like you've brought new life to her."

It was the truth.

Jack smiled, "I better be going," he said gently, fixing his cuffs again, "Wish me luck."

I followed him to the door, "Good luck Jack," I said and watched him walk down the hall, fixing his hair and straightening his jacket some more.

I chewed my bottom lip, slipping back inside the cabin. I hoped, for his sake, that everything went well tonight.

I tried to go back to reading my letters, but my mind kept wandering to Jack and wondering how he was doing at the dinner. He was probably sitting around the table gossiping with all the other guests. God knows they were probably brainwashing him with their mindless chatter. I secretly hoped that Jack would be bored out of his mind and come back to me, but I knew with Rose there, he wouldn't leave even if Titanic was sinking beneath him. I sighed. Jack would do just fine at the dinner.

Helga slipped in the room moments later, saying goodnight to her parents. I tried asking her how she and Fabrizio got along, but she didn't understand a word I said. She did, however, grin every time I mentioned Fabrizio's name so I took that as a good sign.

An hour or so later, someone was knocking. I jumped down from my bunk and answered the door for the second time that night.

"Tommy? Fabrizio? What are you doing here?"

Both men were looking at me with very curious looks.

"There is a party a downstairs," Fabrizio explained, "Musica and beer and dancing. Come with us. Ci sarà da divertirsi!"

"They have one every night," I pointed out, "What makes this different?"

"It's an Irish party Emily," Tommy said, as if I would know what that meant. When he saw the blank look on my face, Tommy smirked, "Only the Irish know how to throw a real party."

I rolled my eyes and turned to Helga, "Care to join us Helga?" I asked.

She looked at me, puzzled, then said something in Norwegian.

I glanced around, trying to find some way to show her what we meant, "You know, a party," I said and held my hand out for Fabrizio. Quickly catching up on what I was trying to show her, Fabrizio took my hand in his, the other going to my waist. He spun me around the room in a few quick steps, turning in a tight circle because the little room only allowed us to move so far. Tommy watched from the door way, laughing.

Helga laughed along too, clapping her hands.

We stopped and I grinned, "Come with us," I said, taking Helga's hand.

Realizing what we were saying, Helga's eyes widened and she shook her head, "No, no, no. Jeg kan ikke mine foreldre er i neste rom."

I glanced at Tommy and Fabrizio, who both shrugged back. None of us were sure what she was saying.

Helga pointed across the room, and I realized she was trying to point to her parents cabin across the hall, "Kan ikke gå, kan ikke gå."

She either couldn't, or didn't want to, leave her parents. I looked at Fabrizio hopelessly. Fabrizio stepped forwards, saying something in Italian. It took some persuasion from him, but Helga finally agreed. There must have been something about not having her parents consent that thrilled Helga, or the prospect of spending more time with Fabrizio; but once she said yes, she was all grins and giggles. She took Fabrizio's hand and he led her out the cabin and towards the general room.

Tommy and I lagged behind, talking.

"Where's my boyo Jackie?" Tommy asked, pulling out a cigarette.

"Dinning with the first class," I replied and Tommy whistled, "Rose and her fiancé invited him to dinner after he saved her life."

"But not you," Tommy said. It wasn't a question, but rather a statement.

I only shrugged.

"Brutal," Tommy murmured.

I snorted with a laugh, "Hardly! I much rather be joining you, Fabrizio and Helga at the party than stuck eating with those insipid people."

Tommy grinned at this.

"I've been meaning to ask you something, Emily," Tommy said.

I raised an eyebrow, "Oh?"

Tommy nodded. He pulled his hat off his head and worked the brim with his hands. A nervous habit of his? I wasnt sure.

"I was wondering if you could, well, if you would be willing to teach me to read?"

I raised my eyebrows. It was no surprise that Tommy couldn't read, most people that held a third class ticket couldn't. What was surprising was that he wanted to learn. I hadn't met many man quiet like Tommy Ryan, who seemed full of surprises.

Tommy watched me, his hazel eyes intense as he waited for an answer.

"I don't know Tommy," I sighed.

Tommy stopped walking, turning me to face him, "Please Emily," he said, "I promise not to let my temper get to me. I'll be patient, and wiling and I'll do anything you ask. The best student you've ever had."

I studied Tommy's face, "The only student," I corrected him, "We wouldn't even be able to get our hands on a book. Third class doesn't have a library."

"Leave that to me. Is that a yes?" Tommy asked hopefully and we began walking again.

"Titanic docks in two days, I can't teach you to read in that amount of time," I pointed out.

"Is that a yes?" Tommy repeated.

"I didn't exactly imagine spending my time on the Ship of Dream teaching and Irishman how to read."

"Is that a yes?"

I sighed, "Fine, alright, yes! I will teach you how to read," I answered, annoyed.

When I imagined myself on Titanic, I imagined adventure for Jack Fabrizio and I. So far, it was not going at all how I had hoped. I wasn't looking forward to lessons with Tommy, but perhaps it would get my mind off things, namely Jack and Rose.

Tommy grinned, replacing his hat, looking very smug for being able to break me down into saying yes. I rolled my eyes at Tommy, for the second time that day.

"You're very vexing, you know that?" I asked Tommy.

"Guilty as charged, Emily," was all he said.

I asked Tommy about Ireland, who was happy to tell me his story as we made our way to the general room. He lived in a place called Waterford, in the south east part of Ireland; a place of long rains, rolling hills, and plenty of beer, as he said. He grew up in a large family of eight, and he was the eldest. At ten, he quit school to help his father work the farm and at twenty seven, he had saved enough money for one third class ticket aboard Titanic. I asked him what made him decide to leave his family and come to Americ.

"I was notorious for always getting in trouble; fighting in the streets, stealing, and getting drunk more than I should have. I put a lot of shame on my family and greif to my parents," Tommy said. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking a little ashamed, "But America will change that. I'm starting over, a new life, new place, new Tommy Ryan. No more fighting, no more drinking. I want to live an honest life and settle down. I don't want to be stuck in the past. I want to change my future and move ahead."

"That's admirable of you," I said.

Tommy looked at me, "It's what anyone would have wanted," he replied with a shrug.

I glanced up, noticing something was amiss. Helga and Fabrizio had stopped talking, and were watching us with curious expressions. I raised an eyebrow making Fabrizio grin. They turned back around, returning to their own conversation.

I could hear loud music playing from the general room before I even saw it. Bagpipes, accordions, fiddles, and a vary of instrument sounds flooded up the steps. It was muggy and hot and smelled of stale tobacco. The benches were pushed up against the wall and a wood platform had been laid down for dancing. Bodies crowded around, some dancing, some drinking, some smoking.

As the scene unfolded before me, I couldn't help but grin. This, this is what I wanted to be a part of. Not tea cups and gossip, but beer and brawls.