Chapter Ten: Counting Stars
A couple of months later, Blaine's album was flying off the shelves. He had been on tour that whole time. It was August, and it was still hot as hell. He was still loving what he was doing. Kurt missed him like hell, and was spending a lot of time with Finn and Rachel. Kurt had also started hanging out a lot with Quinn. They had went over what she'd been writing together. She wanted to show Puck what she had written, but she wanted to be sure that it was good. Quinn wanted someone's approval. Kurt was able to tell that to her, he had taken lots of creative writing courses in college. Quinn trusted his opinion. Plus, he was the one out of all their friends that was the most well read. Besides her, that is. Quinn was waiting for him right now, actually. Quinn had been working very hard on her book. Sarah was staying with some girl that she'd met at the diner. Quinn still wasn't sure why. There had been some kind of fight with Puck. She still wasn't sure what it had been caused by. Puck hadn't told her why. Quinn wasn't going to make him talk about it if he didn't want to. Quinn had tried to get Sarah to talk to her, and that hadn't happened. Not that she had been surprised.
She had put out some snacks, and some wine for Kurt and some iced tea for herself. Quinn had the new pages she'd gotten done to show him. Quinn wanted Kurt to think that they were perfect. She had read and proofed them herself, but she needed another opinion. She had mostly abandoned her work in fashion design and whatnot. She wrote all the time. All of her friends were very peculiar to her. She didn't understand how so many people who were so different got along so well. They were all so strange. Quinn and Puck had a few friends in college, too. She hadn't heard him mention any of them in a long while. Tina Cohen-Chang, Mercedes Jones, Sam Evans, and Mike Chang. He had no relation to Tina. Quinn missed them. At the very least, Mercedes. She remembered how amazing 'Cedes had been when she had needed her about her miscarriages. She had lost Sam to someone, Quinn remembered. Yeah, her memories were coming back like wildfire. Quinn was going to ask Kurt about it. See if he knew who Sam was seeing now. They'd met all of Puck's high school friends.
There was a knock on the door. Quinn got up to get it. They had a place that was on the bottom floor, and it opened to the street. No bellman or anything. Quinn gave Kurt a smile. "Hey, come in, Kurt." She stepped back to let him in. He stepped in. Quinn was glad to see him. "You must be exhausted. Santana told me that you've been over with your family." That meant that he'd had to deal with his niece and nephews. Quinn wasn't sure what else to say. She had been home a lot by herself. Puck had been working later and later at the studio. Quinn was glad for him. She knew how hard he'd been working on his music. She hoped that he was happy. She was. She was beyond happy. Even if she never got the rest of her memories back. She was happy with him. He was so amazing. Quinn couldn't believe that she had cheated on him with Jesse. To be fair, she wasn't herself at the time, but she was still glad that Puck had forgiven her. Quinn pointed out the snacks to him. He grabbed some chips and got himself some wine. Quinn pulled out the pages she had to show him. Quinn was very nervous about showing them to him.
Kurt took them when she slid them over. He was actually curious as to what she had written. She was a very good writer. He took a sip of wine and looked over the pages while she waited.
I feel like a piece of me is missing. I am a different person than my husband knows. He has been so good to me, and I cheated on him. I don't know how I could have done that to him. He was so good to me, and I had the audacity to do that to him. I don't know how I could have done that in good conscience. I don't deserve him, and he is still letting me love him. We could have broken up. I sometimes think that I don't deserve him. He's the best thing that has ever happened to me. I just want to be able to be there for him like he has been for me. There is nothing that I will ever be able to do to pay him back. There is no one that I'd ever want to have kids with. I'm glad that I am having his child. Kurt thought it was great.
Quinn looked at him. "What do you think?" She asked, biting her lip as she poured herself some iced tea. She was really curious to find out about his opinion. She was really wanting to get it published. Quinn was nervous. She didn't know if it was any good. She sipped her tea and grabbed a sandwich. She'd made some tiny finger sandwiches. She bit into it. She was going to be showing soon. Quinn wasn't sure that she was looking forward to that. She was glad to be pregnant, but the getting bigger thing wasn't good. Quinn didn't want to gain too much weight. There was an exercise class that she had already enrolled in. Quinn was glad that there had been an opening. She kept her eyes on him, worrying her lip. Quinn grabbed her sandwich. They were pb & j. She wanted to keep it simple. Kurt was a very fancy cook, and Quinn was not wanting to try and impress him. She would never manage to do that. She was very inexperienced in the kitchen. It was something that she was okay with. "Is it okay?" She asked, unable to keep from being nervous. She was on pins and needles.
Kurt put the pages down when he was done. "You write well, Quinn. It's good. You definitely get it across that you love Noah." Kurt sipped his wine. "I think that you can definitely get this published." Kurt was surprised that she was so into the writing. He was used to her doing fashion design, being an artist when it came to clothes. It was strange. "Are you going to stick with the writing thing?" He asked. Kurt still was amazed at all the changes that had gone on. Everyone's lives had changed so much. Kurt looked at her. "You've changed a lot. Not that that's a bad thing, but I am not used to the new you." Kurt wondered if the changes were permanent. It was possible. She was different due to her memory loss. Kurt couldn't even imagine going through what she was going through. It was so tragic, that she might not ever get her memory back. That was a horrible possibility. There was so much that she was going to miss.
That was really the question. Quinn didn't know if she was ever going to be an fashion designer again. Quinn just wasn't sure that her talent was even there anymore. Quinn was very passionate about her writing. She was very into sharing her story with others. She wanted people to get help from her experiences if they could. Quinn usually wasn't a helpful kind of person. It felt strange. "I don't know if I am ever going to ever go back to fashion design. I mean, I am not even sure if my talent is still there." Quinn got a handful of chips. There was so much that she wanted to say. She just didn't know where to start. Quinn ran her hand through her long blonde hair. It was growing like a weed from the pregnancy. She had been reading a lot of books about pregnancy and they all said that that could happen. Quinn didn't really mind, she had always worn her hair long. She looked at him, her hazel eyes wide. "Do you think that I can do it? Be a writer? Do you think Puck's going to be okay if I don't do fashion design anymore? He's so into me being like I was before, and I'm just not sure that I will be."
"Of course you could get published. And I don't think Noah is going to mind if you aren't a fashion designer anymore." Kurt ran his hand through his long hair. It was very thick. Kurt worked a lot on it, trying to keep it stylish. Kurt was always on the forefront of the stylish news and trends. Kurt was proud of himself or being so into it. Blaine wasn't so much. Kurt didn't know how Blaine could be so indifferent when it came to fashion. It was such a commitment for him. "I think Noah's just glad to be having a child. He's been waiting for a long time. That's all going okay, right? You aren't going to lose the baby, are you?" Kurt made sure his voice was as gentle as possible. It was unfair of him to remind her of her miscarriages. Kurt hadn't ever thought of kids, and so he couldn't even fathom how she had felt about that. Kurt knew that it had to be the hardest thing that someone had to go through. It was hopefully something that he and Blaine wouldn't have to deal with when they got a surrogate.
"Well, I don't have a crystal ball, but I hope that I don't. I mean, I'm doing the best I can as far as I know. I listen to what the doctor says to do." Quinn gave him a small smile. "Everything's good in that department. I am glad, I don't want anything to get in the way of having Noah's baby. I know how important it is to him." That was most certainly true. Quinn just hoped that nothing would happen to the baby. Quinn really didn't want to lose another baby. She wasn't sure that she could do that again, go through that. Quinn did want this baby. Very much. She just hoped that God was going to help her in that regard. Quinn had always believed in Him, and she knew that He was a good God. Quinn looked at Kurt. "So, Kurt, how have you been, how are you since Blaine's been on tour?" She really wanted to know. Quinn hoped that he was doing okay. It had to be hard, having your husband gone like that. Quinn knew that she might have to go through that with Puck. That was something that was amazing to her. That Puck was going to be able to go on tour, and sing. It was amazing. She was so proud of him. It was going to be great.
That was a hard question for Kurt to answer. Mostly because he wasn't sure what to say to put it into words. He ate a few more chips. He was quiet as he thought about it. "I am missing him like crazy. I never thought it would be this hard to be away from him." Kurt missed him very much. They had only just worked things out. He was just hoping that when Blaine got back, it would still be the same. Kurt was never going to love anyone like he did Blaine. They were amazing together when they weren't fighting. Kurt was a nagger. That was never good. Kurt never took that well. He was a little messier than Kurt was. They had spats about it sometimes. It wasn't the only thing, but they fought about that the most. Kurt was really trying to not be that way as much. Blaine wasn't messy enough that it was bringing bugs or anything. Kurt really didn't want to fight with him anymore. He cared about Blaine very much. There was no way that he could lose him again. Kurt had barely been able to make it through the last time.
Meanwhile, Puck and Santana were taking a lunch break. Puck had ordered some Mexican from a place that was not far from the studio. It was a great place. Santana even blessed it. They had gotten tacos, burritos, nachos, and enchiladas. Puck was starving. They'd been working very hard on his music. Puck was busy stuffing his face with a taco. Quinn had a doctor's appointment in a few days. Quinn was so beautiful. Puck loved that she was glowing from the baby. He wasn't sure what he wanted to more. A girl or a boy. He supposed as long as the kid was healthy. That was the important thing. Puck thought he would be better with a girl. He was a very protective person. He would be good with a baby girl. Puck picked up a can of soda and cracked it open. "So, Lopez. How's the kids? And Brittany?" He asked, as he took a sip out of it. He grabbed a napkin and wiped his face with it. He wasn't sure what he would say if it wasn't something good. Puck didn't want it to be bad. They deserved to be happy. Puck finished his taco and grabbed a burrito. "I swear, every time they're made, they are the shit." Puck said, shaking his head as if he didn't believe it.
Santana picked up an enchilada, and took a bite out of it. She shrugged. "They're okay. Brittany's going to a couple of dance auditions. Her last job just ended." She was confident that Brittany would land another job, she was amazing. Brittany was a very capable dancer. It was amazing how talented she was. Santana grabbed her own soda. Santana looked at him. "How's your old lady?" She asked, arching a perfectly coiffed eyebrow at him. She was hoping that she was okay. She was going to have to be careful, she was a few months pregnant now, but she could still have a miscarriage if she wasn't careful. Santana didn't want to see her go through that again. She may be a bitch, but she wasn't completely cruel. She didn't want them to have to go through that again. Especially after Puck had actually gotten her pregnant. That was something he'd always wanted, Santana knew. She really wanted him to have kids if that's what he wanted. She loved her kids. They were the reason she got up, besides Brittany.
Puck wasn't able to keep the grin off his face. "She's great. I can't believe how great things are right now." He was so glad. They had been through so much. He didn't want to go through anymore. It had been great for years. Puck didn't think he could go through that again. It had been bad enough. Especially since they had been so good in the last few years. Puck had no desire for any more drama. They had been through so much. Puck ran his hand over his head. He added, "I can't handle any more high school drama. I really can't. It's just so pathetic. We deserve to be happy." He grabbed another taco. Puck took a bite out of it. He was incredibly happy right now. He was still so worried about Sarah. They had fought, and Puck hadn't talked to her since. She was living with some girl. He was happy for her if she was happy. He just didn't know why she had gotten so angry at him. Puck didn't know why they had fought so hard. It was stupid, it had been a stupid fight. Puck hadn't fought with her like that in a long time. Not since she was a lot younger. They had always with her like that in a long time. Not since she was younger. They had always gotten along for the most part. Puck was still so puzzled.
That was true. Santana hated high school drama, too. She totally got where he was coming from. She gave him a nod. Santana picked up her own taco and took a bite out of it. She was enjoying the food. Santana was gearing up to ask him something. She wanted to record a song. She had written one. She was very proud of it. It was her feelings for Brittany. Santana was glad that she had been able to write a song about her feelings for Brittany. She had wanted to be in the closet for a long time. Santana was glad that he was finally able to be honest. It felt great. Santana looked at him. "Puckerman, I have something to ask you." She was strangely nervous. She didn't think she really had to be, she knew that Puck was aware of how talented she was. Santana kept her gaze on him as his eyebrow arched. Santana said, "I was hoping that I could record a song. It's one I wrote about Britts." Santana took another bite, she was glad she had gotten it out. She looked at him, waiting for him to answer.
"You wrote a song, Lopez? That's totally awesome." Puck wasn't sure that he had ever thought that she would write a song. Puck was curious to hear it. "That's something that you can definitely do. I want to hear it. Why didn't you ever tell me that you had written a song?" Puck asked. He thought that she was such a good singer. They could really make something of her if they wanted to. Puck was willing to see what she had. She was so amazing. Puck grabbed another taco and pulled some nachos forward. She was going to be great. He was so sure of it.
Santana grinned. "That's awesome, Puck. I can't wait to record it. I learned how to play guitar." She was glad that she had taken the time to do so. Santana reached around to get her bag. She had the notebook she'd written the long lyrics in inside it. She passed it to him to look at while they finished eating. She didn't know if he'd like it, but she hoped he would. Santana grabbed some hot sauce and poured it on her taco. She really liked hot sauce. She liked spicy food in general. She hoped that she wasn't going to get nervous when it came time to record the song. She didn't know if she'd manage not to or not. Santana watched him calmly.
Puck glanced over the lyrics as he ate. He wondered what it was would sound like when they started recording it.
All of my life, I have been alone
with no one to call my own
then you fell for me and
I can call you my wife
You are so beautiful,
I am the luckiest woman alive
You show me what love is
every damn day it is
you that I never can repay
He couldn't believe it. He thought all of the lyrics were amazing. You could tell that she loved Brittany very much. He looked at her. "You have got something here, Lopez." Puck said. He was proud of her for being so open about her love for Brittany. It was one thing, to be so out when you were married, but this was a whole new level. Puck looked at her. "You can play this on the guitar?" He asked, and she nodded. "Sweet. You'll have to play for me."
Things were going so great. Santana couldn't help but grin as they kept eating. Santana finished and pushed the empty wrappers in the trash. She got Puck's too. Santana just wished tht they could start on things immediately, but she knew it wasn't possible. They had Puck's music to work on. Santana was going to have to play the song on her guitar for him anyway. She was nervous about playing it, she wanted to get it just right. It was for Brittany. It had to be perfect. She loved Brittany so much, shehad done everything for Santana. They had so many ups and downs, of course, every couple did, but they loved each other. Santana wasn't going to let her down. Puck picked up his guitar and went into the studio to start recording. She went to the controls, to run them over while he was playing. Santana was glad to be here, glad to be producing music. They had all worked towards that for a very long time. They had been in glee club together in high school. Rachel had been the most annoying at it, she had been determined to get all the lead solos. Santana was the first to admit that she had hated her for years. It was only for Puck that she had tolerated her.
Sarah Puckerman was not a happy camper. She did not enjoy working at the diner. It was only something that she had to do to make money. Sarah still wasn't sure what she was going to do with her life. She supposed that she liked the girl that she was living with. Her name was Ashley Cypher. She was a tall blonde who was incredibly hot. Sarah was an average height Jewish girl who was only cute, not gorgeous. She was very lucky that Ashley was slumming it. Sarah was really glad that she was at least getting laid on a regular basis. Sarah just missed her Nana. She missed her ma. She didn't know why she had gotten so angry at her brother. She hated that she was so self ruining. She was always doing something that was detrimental to her well being. Right now she was on her way back to her apartment. She was going to do her best to try and be happy. It was just not working so far. Sarah was doing her best to say out of people's way. There were too many people in New York. She just didn't know why coming here had been important.
When she got home from the diner, Ashley was home. She was cooking something for them to eat for supper. Sarah opened the bedroom door and started taking off her uniform from the diner. It was pink and very retro fifties style. That was the part she hated the worst. Sarah took off the uniform, and stood there in her bra and panties, and searched through the dresser looking for something to wear. She wanted to wear something relaxing. She got out some boxers, and pulled them on. She took off her bra before she got out a tank top and pulled it on. She went out to the kitchen. They had a tiny little apartment. Sarah reached into the fridge and pulled out a beer. Ashley had some older friends to hook them up. Sarah was not sure if Ashley was really a soul mate. She was kind of just someone that had a place she could go to get away from her brother. Sarah thought it was a little messed up that she was treating Puck like that. She had picked a fight with him about something stupid so she could go. Sarah just couldn't imagine why she was so angry. She'd even picked up the phone to call Santana and talk to her about all of it. She just couldn't do it. Sarah knew she that she could help, though.
Ashley was making spaghetti and meatballs. She knew that Sarah liked it. She wasn't wearing much more than Sarah was. They were the only ones living there, it didn't really matter. She was wondering what was up with Sarah. Why she was always so quiet. Ashley wasn't sure if Sarah was even serious about her. Ashley liked her a lot. She was very pretty, and her long dark hair was pretty to play with. Ashley was sure that Sarah didn't know that she was serious about her. Ashley had never met someone who cared that she had something to say. Everyone just treated her like a dumb blonde. She hated it. She was glad to find Sarah, who was taking her seriously. Ashley called out to her, where she was in the living room. "Sarah, babe, I'm making spaghetti and meatballs. Is that okay?" She got a muffled yes back. Ashley wasn't sure what else to say, so she didn't say anything else. Ashley cracked open a soda and drank from it. She wasn't as big of a drinker as Sarah was. Ashley didn't know what to do to make her feel better. She was at a loss.
Sarah relaxed on the couch with her beer. She wasn't butch or anything, but she was definitely the tomboy out of the two of them. Sarah put on some cartoons and did her best to relax. It was hard, she was tired of standing on her feet all day. She had gotten some good tips. Sarah was socking it all away. Ashley wasn't making her pay bills. She was saving as much money as she could. She didn't want to be unprepared like she was when Nana Connie had tossed her out. Sarah was not going to be taken off guard ever again like that. It wasn't fun at all. Sarah thought maybe she was upset about that still. She wished that she could get over it, she wanted to not care. She couldn't help it. Sarah was still upset. She had pushed her brother away for no good reason. Sarah ran her hands through her long hair and looked at her legs with an eyebrow raised. She was not tan enough for summer. Sarah had been indoors too much. She ran her hands over her long legs. Her torso was too short, that was the bad thing. She was determined to find the happy ending everyone else got. Maybe she should talk to Santana. She was happy, she had a wife and two kids. Maybe she had it all figured out.
It wasn't too much longer when Ashley called her for dinner. Sarah was glad. She was starved. She hadn't eaten at all that day. She'd worked a double shift. She had done it for the tips. It had wielded good results. Sarah got down the plates to set the table. She got out a fresh beer. Ashley put the spaghetti and bread on the table. Sarah pulled out her chair for her. Then she went to sit down herself. She waited as Ashley dished it out for her. She was starving, and the food smelled great. Sarah wasn't looking forward to the day when she would start gaining weight for eating. She spun her fork through the spaghetti and took a bite. "This is good, babe." Sarah said. She gave her a weak smile. "You are a really good cook." She told her. Sarah wasn't sure what else to talk about. They were still getting to know each other. They had only been dating for a month. Sarah hadn't told her that she was from Ohio yet. She was pretending to be a Native New Yorker. It was just simpler. Sarah thought lying was the best idea.
"Thanks, babe." Ashley said, a long lock of her blonde hair falling over her eye. She was glad that Sarah liked it. Ashley wondered what to talk about. It was best to communicate with your partner. Ashley had had two crappy relationships already. She wanted this to go right. Ashley didn't want her heart broken. Not again. She looked at Sarah. "How was your day?" She asked. Ashley really cared, too. She hoped it had been good. She had been working all day, she did data entry at home. Ashley liked it. She was able to pay the bills with it. They were doing okay.
Sarah shrugged. "I'm okay. The day was long. I worked a double, it was really long. I am so exhausted. I hate working at that diner. But I want to make money. It's the endless cycle." Sarah wasn't sure if she could keep working there much longer. She had to get out of there. She was going to go crazy. "I really need to get my life figured out. Decide what I want to do. I wish I knew. My brother had it all figured out when he was my age. I still can't believe that he graduated college. My brother is not a school type. He always said that school was for suckers."
"You'll figure it out, Sarah. You will get to figure it out and have a life." Ashley said. She got why Sarah wanted to have a real job. Waitressing was never fun. Ashley had done stripping for a month when she'd first come here. Ashley hadn't liked it, she had decided to quit. Ashley hadn't been so good at it anyway. She liked data entry a lot better. "You are so young, still, Sarah. You aren't your brother." She was glad that Sarah was talking about this. It was good to hear her talk. Ashley wanted to get to know her better. It felt like Sarah was letting Ashley see more of her. That was what she wanted. Ashley didn't know if she'd stop or not and she hoped that she would. Ashley was willing to share any of herself with Sarah. She just wanted to be what the other girl needed. Ashley just hoped that she could be. They had rushed into this. Ashley didn't want to be wrong about Sarah. She sipped her soda. "I'm just glad that you're here. I just want you to know that. I care about you."
Sarah looked at Ashley. She was glad that Ashley was trying to comfort her. She was just not sure what to say. Sarah hadn't planned on letting that much of herself out. It had felt okay, though, like she was doing the right thing. Sarah was glad to get that off her chest. She didn't mind school. Sarah just didn't know what she wanted to go through in college. She had fought with Nana Connie about that, too. She hadn't wanted to aimlessly go through with no idea. She thought it would be a waste of money. Nana Connie hadn't agreed with her. Sarah was fine with waiting, she just wanted a purpose, a path. Sarah didn't think that she was ever going to find one. She looked at Ashley. "This is just tripping me up. The job, it's all too much. I want to believe that I can figure it out. I just... I can't right now. My head is full of nothing. My brother owns a record label. He put Blaine Anderson on the map. He's producing his own record, and my brother is a great singer. He is going to do great. Why can't I have something that I'm passionate about? It just doesn't seem fair. I don't know why I'm so aimless." Sarah would do anything to have some kind of purpose.
Santana was putting away the dishes from supper when the phone rang. She got it, Brittany was helping Alyssa take a bath, and Brandon was playing in his room. "Lopez-Pierce residence." She said. It was the politest she ever got on the phone. She was futzing around the kitchen in a pair of boyshorts and a tank top. She hummed under her breath as she waited for the person calling to say something. She was curious as to who it was. Santana put the clean dishes in the cupboard. "This is Santana Lopez."
Taking a deep breath, Sarah said, "Santana, it's Sarah Puckerman." She was really nervous. Sarah could not believe that she was really doing this. That she was really calling Santana. She was so nervous. She didn't know why she was doing this. Sarah just thought maybe it was something that she had to do. She could get some advice from Santana. She was a happy person. "I... I need to talk to you. Noah suggested I call you before we fought. I just... I have all these doubts... I don't know what to do. I'm gay."
"Oh hey, Squirt." Santana said. She wasn't surprised that the youngest Puckerman was calling her. "You're gay? Well, that's great. I am, too, I'm married with two kids. It doesn't have to be bad. You can have what everybody else has. Puckerman told me you're staying with some girl. How's that going? Is she hot?" Santana was glad that Sarah had had the courage to come out. Santana had had trouble when she'd first come out. She hadn't wanted to tell everyone. She'd been very scared. It had been about self-preservation, mostly. She had been popular in high school and had wanted to stay that way. Santana hadn't wanted anything that would cause negative attention. She had been afraid of what her family would say, also. Her abuela had disowned her. Santana had been upset. She had been glad that her parents had accepted her, though. They had told her that they loved her no matter what she wanted to be and they would love her. That had touched her. "You can be okay, Squirt. You really can. I am proud of you for coming out. I'm glad that you had the courage. When I was your age I was a lot more messed up than you."
That bugged Sarah, being called Squirt. Only Noah and his friends had ever called her that. She still wasn't sure this was a good idea. Sarah didn't exactly like Santana. It stemmed from all the years she'd been at the Puckerman house, most of the time unexpectedly. Sarah also thought she might have hated it because it might have helped her realize she was gay. Sarah hated to admit that, even if it was true. "It's Sarah." She said as clearly as she could. She didn't want to anger Snix. "Snix" was what Santana called her anger. Sarah had no desire to see her or talk to her. Sarah sighed. "I don't want to lose my Nana. She's not accepting. I don't know what to do to get her to love me. And now I'm fighting with Noah. He went to bat for me with Nana. Why am I pushing him away? He's the only family that I have. I deserve good things and I keep stopping good things. Why? Why can't I be happy?"
It all sounded like questions that she couldn't answer. Santana wished that she could tell Sarah what she wanted to hear. She couldn't. "You still have some problems. It's not easy. This is true." Santana said. She couldn't lie to Sarah. "But everyone runs into trouble sometimes. You can handle this, Sarah. You really can. You just take it one day at a time. You've already done the hardest thing. You came out. That really is a very brave thing. I know it doesn't seem like it, but it is. You have to try and be happy now. You have to go on and live your life. You can't change what people think. I had to learn that lesson, too. You have to just hope that they see the light one day. I wish I could tell you that they'll all come around. They won't. But it gets easier to handle. And it can turn out amazingly good. I have a beautiful wife who loves me, and we have a family. You can have the same. You just have to calm down, and stop being so angry all the time. I had to learn the same lesson. I didn't like it, let me tell you. But I got over it. Because the end result is so much better." She hoped that made sense.
All of that sounded like something that Sarah did not know how to deal with. She didn't want to have to deal with that people were not accepting things. Sarah wanted to be able to have the people that she loved in her life. It just didn't seem fair that she had to give up certain people. Sarah didn't want to lose that. She knew that Santana was right, however. She couldn't change what other people felt about. Sarah wished that she could. "I need to forgive Noah. Or, more accurately, ask him to forgive me." Sarah felt so stupid. She just wished that Puck would forgive her. Sarah had really been a bitch, and it just wasn't fair. Sarah had to behave herself now. She needed to stop pushing him away. "I am sorry that I was such a bitch to him." This was completely true. She was sure that she would do it again, but she was still sorry. "I do have this girlfriend, though." Sarah said. "She's amazingly hot. She's... dirty hot." Sarah said. This was true. She couldn't help but smile as she said that. Maybe it all would turn around.
A couple of days later, Puck was getting home, and Sarah was there. Puck was surprised to see her. Not after their fight. "What do you want, Sarah?" He asked, unlocking the apartment door. He was further surprised that his wife wasn't home. Puck would have expected her to be. Maybe she had gone out, she'd been spending a lot of time with Brittany and Santana. That was something that he considered a good thing. It might help some of her memories come back. They had steadily been coming back, but not all of them were. He was for the doing of things that would help those along. Puck got inside and Sarah followed him into the house. He closed the door behind her. Puck had just gotten back from work. He had also gotten some food at the bodega which was closest to the apartment. He started taking the food out of the bags to put away. "You're the one who isn't talking to me, and all of a sudden you show up here." Puck wasn't sure what it was he'd say. He didn't know what her problem was. She'd been such a bitch since she'd shown up here and had come out. He hoped she'd done as he'd suggested, and called Santana. He thought it would really help her.
She tried to look contrite. She knew that she'd hurt him. Even if he'd never say it out loud. Sarah ran her hand through her long dark hair. "I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you." She finally said. Sarah hoped he'd accept. She didn't want to argue with him anymore. She appreciated that he was in her life, and that he accepted her for who she was. Sarah knew that she was very lucky in that regard. Sarah watched as he moved about the kitchen, putting things away. She didn't know if life was going to turn out the way they'd wanted, but they couldn't change whatever was in store. Sarah almost wished that she could change her feelings. If she could maybe her life would be better. Sarah wouldn't really change it, however. She was the way she was, and it wasn't going to change. Sarah kept her eyes on him. "I'm really sorry, Noah. I know that you accept me or who I am, and I should have been more grateful than I was. I don't want to lose the only family I have left."
The words she was saying caused him to pause in his efforts. Puck had to admit, he had not expected her to forgive him. She was just as stubborn as he was. That made for grudges. He started putting away the food again. Puck said with his back to her, "You're actually apologizing? I am shocked." This was very true. Puck got out the beef he'd purchased. He was going to make some beef stroganoff. Puck liked cooking. It let all of his feelings out. It was calming. Puck had never thought that he would enjoy something like cooking. But he really did. He had to be good, Quinn couldn't really cook. They'd end up eating takeout all the time. Puck was glad that he'd listened to his ma and let his Nana teach him how to cook. They'd never know if something happened to her. That was really upsetting. Puck didn't like to think about it. They had been raised as much in her house as they had their own. Puck didn't really know if he could get her to accept Sarah. He didn't want her to be out of their lives. It was just hard to fathom a life without her, scolding them, loving them. They needed her, now that their ma was gone.
"Yes, Noah." She said, trying to keep the angry tone out of her voice. She knew it was just a defense thing. He was trying to protect himself from getting hurt. Sarah understood that. She sighed. "I know I was a bitch. I... I did what you suggested. I called Santana, to talk to her about things. I know that I'm not done dealing with this, but I know that I have to start being less of a bitch to people. I appreciate what Santana talked to me about. I should have called her a lot sooner than I did." She sat down at the island before being invited. Sarah wasn't going to go anywhere. She was going to stay and fix this with her brother. They had to stay in each other's lives. Sarah kept her eyes on him as he moved about the kitchen. She added, "I have a girlfriend. I'm staying with her at her place. She's great. Her name is Ashley." Sarah hoped that it would work out with her. She really did. "I'd like you to meet her. Quinn, too."
That surprised him. That she had someone. He was glad, though. She deserved to be happy, just like everybody else. Finally, he turned around and looked at Sarah. "That's... that's great." He said, and he really meant it. He smiled at her, and looked over at her. He patted her shoulder. Puck kept looking at her, and said, "Well, if you want us to, we can have her over for dinner. Where'd you meet?" He asked, keeping up with the dinner prep. He wanted to keep his hands busy. Puck wondered if he would be able to not do the big brother thing and scare her off.
Sarah couldn't help but smile when he forgave her. She didn't deserve it, but she was glad. "Um, okay. I am sure that Ashley would be glad to do that." Sarah didn't know why she had managed to bag the blonde, but she had. She knew that she'd been a little standoffish with her lately, but she wanted to start being better to her. She didn't want to treat Ashley badly. She didn't deserve that. She was a good person. Sarah asked, "I feel like a bitch, how's Quinn? She's pregnant, still, right?" Sarah hoped so, and she hoped that her asking wasn't upsetting him. Sarah didn't want to hurt him again.
That made him nod in answer to her question. Puck didn't want to talk about the miscarriages. "She's fine." He told her. Puck added the ground beef to the stove. He added some oil to it so it wouldn't stick. Puck got out mushrooms, and the noodles. The sauce was easy for him to do, he always did it last. "You get with Ashley, and tell me when she's free for dinner." Puck put in some coffee to the coffee pot. He was jonesing for some caffeine. He watched as Sarah went to the fridge and got a soda. Puck looked at her. "Are you still working at the diner?" He asked. He felt bad that she didn't have a plan about what she wanted to do with her life. Puck knew that it wasn't his fault that she didn't know. That he had always known his own fate. Puck just hoped that she would figure it out one day. He filled his pot with water, so he could do the noodles. Puck ran his hand over his shaved head. He needed a haircut. Puck started cutting up mushrooms. He didn't want whole ones in there. It would be easier to eat that way.
About a month later, they had another OBGYN appointment. They were going to find out what the sex of the baby was. Puck was even more nervous than Quinn was. She was showing, she was five months along. They were waiting for the doctor to come in and get the ultrasound ready. Puck was standing by her, holding her hand. She was grumbling a little about the position she had to sit in to be ready for the doctor. Puck was sweating bullets. This was going to be crazy. He was hoping for the baby to be a girl. He was sure that he would be so much better for a baby girl. Puck was barely able to pay attention as the doctor came in and started talking to them about the baby and Quinn's health. He was very nervous. Puc watched as she got out the machine and started putting the gel on her stomach. Puck was breathing hard, he was really nervous. He squeezed Quinn's hand. He was so happy. He had been waiting for this for a very long time. They deserved to be parents. Quinn looked at him as the doctor spread the gel around, telling them that the baby was healthy, and looking good. Puck let out a sigh of relief. Then, she told them that they were having a girl.
That made all the rest of the months worth it. A beautiful baby girl. It was the best news. They could really be happy now.
Author's note: We are at the finish line! The only thing left is the epilogue. I will do my best to get it up asap. Sorry it's been so long since the last update. Cory's passing has been hard, and still unbelievable sometimes. I thank ya'll for sticking with me till the end. XD