Titanic Founders

April 15th 1912

2:20 am

Tommy, Fabrizio and I squeezed our way to the front of the group. It was mostly men crowding around the life boats. The officers were trying to keep the men at bay, pushing them back and yelling at them to keep their place while they fixed the boats for launching. Everyone was shoving and pushing. I stayed pressed up close to Tommy, feeling scared. Titanic has sunk more than I thought and the water was rising quickly. More than half the ship was underwater and on our part of the deck, the water line was only a few feet below us from the railing.

"Get back! Get back I tell you!" One of the officers shouted, shoving men back into their places. He grabbed up an oar from the life boat and waved it threateningly in our direction. The men formed a sort of half circle around the boats. The officers were heavily out numbered and the crowd of men were antsy to rush the boat.

"Let us through, damn you!" A man from the back of the group shouted.

The officer gripped the oar tighter, pushing us back with it, "Stay back!" he shouted again then lowered the oar to help the other officers with the boats. Tommy, Fabrizio and I did as we were told but the men were not so willing. They crowded us closer to the boats as more people joined the mob. The mass of people was thick and growing quickly. One unlucky man who lost his footing toppled over the side of the railing and went crashing into the icy water below. His scream caused a new panic to rippled through the group and everyone was pushing closer to the boats again.

Another officer stepped forwards, a shorter man with blonde hair. He tried to keep us away from the boats but it was futile. We were running out of time and sanity. The officer drew a revolver from inside his uniform and brandished it our direction. At the sight of the gun, we all retreated as best we could. The officer turned and fired a few warning shots into the sky.

I jumped from the loud noise and moved closer to Tommy, gripping his arm. I had never been so frightened in my life.

"Will you give us a chance to live you limey bastards!" Tommy shouted at the officer.

The officer turned his gun on the crowd, namely Tommy, and said, "I'll shoot any man who tries to get past me."

A well dressed man stepped forwards. I recognized him from so many nights ago when Jack had rescued Rose from off the back of Titanic. It was Cal, Roses ill tempered fiancé.

"We had a deal, damn you!" Cal said to the officer.

The officer reached into his jacket and pulled out a bundle of cash. He threw it at Cal, the bills fluttering in the cold wind.

"Your money can't save you any more than it can save me," the officer growled then shoved Cal back into the group, "Get back!"

A man broke off from the mob. He climbed over one of the overturned boats, frantically trying to save himself. The officer turned his revolver on the man and fired a shot. I screamed loudly as the man fell to the deck floor, blood pouring from the bullet wound in his head. Tommy threw out his arm in front of me protectively. Behind us, the throng of men jostled and someone ran into me from behind. I stumbled into Tommy who in turn fell forwards. The officer, seeing Tommy advance, turned his revolver on Tommy and fired.

My heart pounded so loud, I could barley hear myself scream. Everything slowed and I watched as Tommy's body collapsed back onto the deck. Fabrizio rushed to his side, shouting profanities in Italian. I fell to my knee's next to Tommy, my vision blurring with tears. Blood bloomed from Tommy's chest like the petals of a rose, seeping through his white lifebelt. I placed my hand over Tommy's chest, feeling his sporadic heart beats beneath my palm. Tears spilled over my cheeks uncontrollably.

"Tommy! Please Tommy!" I begged between sobs, turning to the officer, "How could you!"

The officer, pale and wide eyed, stepped back and saluted the other officers. He raised his gun, putting the barrel to his temple and pulling the trigger. The officers body fell over the side of the railing and into the water.

I looked at Tommy. He was looking up at me, his hazel eyes clouding over. With a shaking hand, he reached up and laid his hand on my cheek. I placed my hand over his, the tears coming faster. He struggled to breath, his chest rising and falling with each unsteady breath. Blood pooled from his chest and his back where the bullet dislodged.

"Tommy," I cried, "I'm so sorry Tommy. Please forgive me."

A sad smile graced Tommy's lips, "All but death can be adjusted, Emily," he coughed.

I cried harder. Tommy ran his thumb along my cheek gently, wiping the tears away.

"Please don't cry Emily," Tommy whispered.

"Tommy," I said quietly, "Please don't leave me."

Tommy swallowed and coughed again, his whole body shuttering.

"I should have told you sooner, Emily. I should have told you what you meant to me," Tommy coughed, talking between each strained breath. I knew he was talking about the kiss. I felt my heart grow heavy with sadness and guilt.

I leaned my cheek into his hand, "Don't talk like that Tommy," I begged, "It's too soon to say goodbye."

Tommy shook his head and coughed again. Blood bubbled in his mouth, turning his lips red and spilling out over the corners of his mouth. I was loosing him.

"Tommy?" I said urgently. His hand dropped from my cheek. I put my hand on his chest again, feeling his faint heart beat.

"I love you Emily Cross," Tommy whispered.

Tommy's body went lip, his head rolling to the side. His eyes remained open, starting into an empty void. I couldn't feel a pulse beneath his lifebelt. My whole body was racked with sobs. One hand still on his chest, I ran my fingers through his curly locks with the other. Fabrizio came and kneelt beside me, wrapping is arms around me. I could hear him choking back sobs for his friend.

"Emily," Fabrizio said gently. I shook my head. I knew what he was going to say. There was no time to mourn. We were running out of time, the water was already steadily making it's way towards us, crawling up Titanic's deck. I didn't want to leave Tommy's body though.

"Emily please," Fabrizio said, "We need to move."

I didn't reply.

Fabrizio moved to the other side of Tommy. Watching the water, he unbuckled Tommy's bloodied lifebelt with shaking hands, putting it on himself and tying it up. Then we went and helped the men and officers trying to turn the life boats back over. Using a pocket knife, he sawed at the ropes to free the boats. I remained by Tommy's side, feeling lost. He had been the leader, the rock, through this whole calamity. He had saved us from a gruesome death in the bowels of Titanic but now he was gone.

"Oh, Tommy," I whispered, moving his hair from his blank face, "Please forgive me."

I leaned down and carefully kissed his forehead, saying a silent goodbye to him. The water lapped up around us, turning a sickly red color from Tommy's spilled blood. It was freezing and made me shiver violently. I stood up, soaking, as the water gurgled and churned it's way up the half sunk deck of Titanic. I looked around. I felt hallow. The men were still trying to ready the boats for launch but it was useless. The water was to high. Fabrizio was no where to be seen.

"Fabrizio!" I called, moving up the steep deck to avoid the water, "Fabrizio! Please!"

There was no answer. I glanced around for the Italian, but I couldn't make him out in the crowd. I looked over my shoulder at Tommy's lifeless body, just in time to see the water consume him and drag him out into the freezing depths. Now, I was completely alone. I swallowed the fear bubbling up inside. I needed to think, I needed to move. Gathering my skirts, heavy with water and Tommy's blood, I followed the crowd of Titanic passengers, all making way for her stern.

More than half of Titanic was underwater and it was only a matter of minutes before the whole ship faced her watery grave. I followed what passengers were left to the stern. I had no idea where Fabrizio was. I had hoped that Jack and Rose were safely on a life boat, but I couldn't be sure. Tommy was dead. Arlene Kelly and her children were most likely trapped somewhere in the third class, along with Cora and her family and many others. It seemed everyone was gone in some way or another. Everyone, that is, but Helga Dalh. I could just make out her blonde head bobbing in and out of passengers just a few feet ahead of me.

"Helga!" I cried, shouting her direction, "Helga!"

She turned her head, tears in her beautiful eyes. She spotted me and tried pushing her way towards me. The mob was too thick though, and she couldn't get through. I picked up my pace, reaching out my hand for her. She reached as well, and our fingers barley managed to intertwine. We held on tightly, coming together in the crowd.

"Helga!" I said breathlessly, my own vision blurred by frightened tears, "Helga, where are your parents?"

Helga started talking quickly in Norwegian. I shook my head to indicate I didn't understand.

"Jeg er helt alene, redd, jeg kan ikke svømme!" Helga cried, "Fabrizio, hvor er Fabrizio?"

I bit my lip, "Oh Helga, I don't know," I said gently, "We got separated in the sinking."

More tears filled Helga's eyes. I took her hand firmly in mine and led the way to the stern. I had to lean into each step. Titanic was titled to far that people were quickly loosing their footing. A few things that weren't bolted down to the ship were sliding down the deck towards the water. I dodged these as we neared the stern. Helga slipped and I hauled her up again, we were just a few feet from the stern.

When we reached it, I grabbed hold of the back railing, hanging on tightly. I instructed Helga to do the same. I wasn't sure what we were going to do, but the railing seemed like our best option. Next to me, two more people grabbed on the other side. I looked at them.

"Jack!"

Jack looked over at me, surprised. Rose looked at us too, her frightened gaze meeting Helga's.

"Em! What are you doing here?" Jack asked.

"We couldn't find a boat."

Jack looked at my blood stained hands and my soaked dress. He frowned, looking at me worriedly.

"Whose blood?" He asked grimly.

I choked back my tears, unable to reply.

"Fabrizio?" Jack questioned.

I shook my head.

"Tommy," Jack replied knowingly.

I nodded slowly and Rose gave a small gasp. We fell into silence, awaiting our doom. Titanic continued to stink, the stern rising higher and the bow sinking lower. I looked out over the freezing sea. People dotted the water, screaming and frantically swimming in all directions. Off in the distance I could just make out the life boats, people watching from the safety of the collapsibles as we struggled for our lives. As Titanic's stern reached for the stars, more people began slipping and falling. I grasped the railing tighter, trying to hold on for dear life.

"Jack," I heard Rose gasp. I turned to look at her. She was looking up at Jack with a sort of longing expression on her delicate features. She smiled at him as he looked down at her, "This is where we first met."

I swallowed again and turned away as Jack kissed her on the forehead. They deserved to be together. It was fate that these two beings had found each other on this ill fated ship. I had been adamant about the two falling in love over the course of a few days, but what they had was different. It was a passion that was fierce and true. Jack loved Rose from the moment he had seen her from the third class deck and Rose had not know what real love was like until Jack stepped into her life. They completed each other and they needed one another.

For a fleeting moment, I thought that I had heard thunder. It was a loud cracking sound, like the sound of a gunshot, but deeper and more unearthly. I realized it was Titanic. The lights on the ship flickered and then went dark, leaving us in thick blackness. The sound was from the ship buckling from the weight. Titanic couldn't support the stern and it was causing the ship to break in half. Metal beneath the ship crunched on itself and the wood of the deck splintered in half.

The weight was too much. Titanic split in half, the stern dropping back down into the water. Everyone screamed as we fell back. My stomached lurched, jumping into my throat from the suddenly falling sensation. Helga and I hugged each other and clung onto the rail, wind rushing past us as we descended. Titanic's stern hit the water with a loud slap. It caused a large wave to form, splashing water on us and sending the passengers in the water flailing.

For a moment, it seemed like it was all over. We bobbed on the water for a few minutes. I looked around hopefully. Was that it? Was this catastrophe finally done with?

It wasn't. Titanic shifted again and I felt my feet slipping out from underneath me again as it started to tilt. I cried out and gripped the rail tighter.

Not again! Dear God please make it stop! I prayed.

I couldn't hold on much longer.

"We have to move!" Jack said next to me. Making sure Rose was holding on tightly to the railing, he climbed over onto the other side. Laying down on the stern rail, he held his hand out for Rose saying, "Come on! I've got you."

Rose clambered over the railing after Jack and he held her tightly. I did the same but Helga didn't climb fast enough. Soon the stern was vertical in the air and she struggled to hold on. I reached through the railing and took hold of Helga's wrists, trying to pull her up.

"Helga! Hold on!" I commanded.

Her grip was loosening on the cold rails. She whimpered fearfully and I held onto her tighter. Her fingers slipped from the railing and she dropped, almost pulling me off the rail with her. I felt Jack grab onto the back of my lifebelt while I struggled to keep a hold on Helga's wrists. I tried pulling her up next to us but her hands slipped through mine. Helga fell from my grasp with a scream. I watched, wide eyed, as she dropped fifteen stories to the water below.

I barley had anytime to react to Helga's death before Jack spoke again. The water was swiftly filling up the stern and it was sinking fast. We only had seconds before the rest of Titanic was under water.

"Take a deep breath and hold it right before we go into the water. The ship will suck us down," Jack was saying, looking at me. He turned to Rose, taking her hand and saying, "Kick for the surface and keep kicking. Don't let go of my hand. We're gonna make it Rose. Trust me."

"I trust you Jack," Rose replied.

The water boiled up, consuming the last of Titanic. I took deep breaths and when the water reached my hand and knees, I started swimming. Titanic disappeared beneath the depths, sucking us under just like Jack said. I slipped beneath the freezing water, kicking with all my might. The cold water shocked my body, making it hard to move my limbs. My lungs burned and ached for air but no matter how hard I swam, I felt like I was barley moving. I felt myself growing light headed and my chests constrict from lack of oxygen. Just when I thought I wasn't going to make it, my head broke the surface. I gasped for breath and looked around.

There were people all around me, screaming and swimming. I looked for Jack and Rose but I couldn't see them in the mass of people. I tried calling their names.

"Jack! Rose?" I yelled, over all the other voices crying for help. There was no answer.

People bumped into me and pulled me under in a panic. I was going to drown if I remained where I was. Gathering up the last bit of energy I had, I picked a direction and started swimming. My arms and legs were numb from the cold water and every breath was painful to take. The cold penetrated every part of my body, stiffening my joints and making it hard to move. I began shaking uncontrollably, trying desperately to swim out of the congregation of drowning passengers.

I was quickly growing exhausted. I struggled to keep moving and keep myself conscious but with everything that had occurred in the past few hours, I wasn't sure how long I could hang on. I felt someone take hold of my lifebelt. I thought that whoever it was, was going to drag me under so I tried to push them off me.

"Easy now miss," someone said.

I looked up. It was a boy, about sixteen, who was smiling down at me. Him and a few other men had taken cover on one of the overturned life boats. They sat on the boat, avoiding the water and awaiting rescue. The boy pulled me up onto the belly of the boat. I sat on the edge, tucking my knees to my body for warmth. Someone draped a heavy coat around my shoulders and I pulled it around myself gratefully.

The boy took a seat next to me. In the distance, I could see where Titanic had been just moments ago. People in the water were screaming for help. I had no idea where Jack and Rose were but I hoped that they were safe. The boy pulled out a flask from inside his coat pocket and offered it to me. I shook my head.

"It'll help numb the pain, miss," he encouraged gently, offering it again.

I looked down at the leather flask. The boy wasn't talking about the pain from the freezing water. He was talking about the pain that we had endured the whole night. The pain of loosing Tommy and Helga and every one else. The pain that the Ship of Dreams had gone down before she reached America. The pain of everything I had been through the last few days.

I took the flask, welcoming the whiskey when it burned my throat as I swallowed. I drank for Jack and Rose, that they could be together. I drank for Cora and her family, the Kelly family and Helga's parents, that they were okay. I drank for Fabrizio, that he would fulfill his destiny and reach America, where ever he was. I drank for the people in the water. I drank for Tommy, for his bravery and kindness. Lastly, I drank for myself, that I could make it through the night, the next day and the rest of my life.