A/N: This chapter contains direct quotes from Eclipse.

EPOV

"I haven't gotten much out of him," Jasper reported when we got back. "It might help if Bella sits with him for a while." I need to talk to you. Alone.

I nodded. "I agree. Bella, I'll be there when Charlie is asleep, all right?"

"Okay." She headed in the front door without another word.

Jasper turned on me as soon as the door clicked shut. "What did you say to her?"

"Don't start, Jasper. I'm not in the mood."

"You should be more interested in what mood she's in."

I sighed impatiently. Charlie would see Bella in less than two seconds, and I didn't have time for this. "All right, what mood is Bella in?"

"Not a good one."

"Would you get to the point?"

"She's feeling hopeless, and unworthy."

Charlie forgotten, I focused on Jasper as he played the memory of seeing Bella through his gift a moment ago. I couldn't believe it- he was right. I grudgingly understood the hopelessness- I had just refused her request again. But I was completely baffled by the feelings of unworthiness. Hadn't we just professed a deeper level of love to each other than we ever had before?

"Hey, Bells!" Charlie called from the living room. "You're home early." Jasper and I moved over to the edge of the yard, where we could see better.

"Yeah, Jasper wanted to get back home to watch the rest of the game."

"Jasper?"

"He gave me a ride back. Edward's not allowed to drive, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." Too bad he has a houseful of chauffeurs. "So, wanna finish the game with your old man?"

She shrugged and sat down on the end of the couch nearest him, curling up with a book in one hand.

Jasper smirked at me. "She's mad."

"At me?"

"No, at Charlie. Can you blame her?"

"No. I wish I could blame him, but I can't. He's doing the right thing, not trusting me."

"I'm glad to see we agree on something."

I turned on him, losing my patience. "All right, what?"

"I had an interesting talk with Carlisle while you were… whatever it was you were doing with Bella to make her feel like crap."

I motioned for him to continue.

"He finally cast his vote." Five to one, brother. You lose.

I just shook my head in disbelief. My own father!

"Anyway, he's going to talk to Bella about it, and make her an offer."

A growl began rising in my chest. "What kind of offer?"

"He wants her to turn eighteen first, and graduate high school. It'll give her more time to think about it, and it'll raise less suspicion… if we can make it that long, of course."

"It's nice to know my family takes my wishes so seriously," I said sarcastically. I wasn't surprised at the rest of them- but I was furious at Carlisle. He was the one whose vote really counted- and the one person I thought I could count on. His betrayal felt like a physical blow.

"Like I said, it turns out we don't need your vote, but feel free to chip in."

"Anyway, it doesn't matter. Bella won't accept the offer."

"If you would just- what?"

"I already told her about the vote, and she's not willing to accept the offer, unless I'm the one making it. So you can all back off."

He crossed his arms, eyeing me skeptically. You're telling the truth, aren't you? Interesting… I wouldn't have expected this from her. I guess that unworthiness is stronger than I thought.

I just ignored him. "Let's focus on business, shall we?"

We both turned back to focus on Charlie. There wasn't much to observe, unless I wanted to hear the baseball game in stereo. We stood silently until the game was over.

Charlie stretched his arms up in the air, yawning. "Well, that's that. So did you have a good time over there?"

"Yeah. It was nice seeing the Cullens again- all of them." It sounded like a challenge, and I smiled. She was getting good at these reconnaissance missions.

Great. Guess I won't be seeing much of her the rest of the summer. "That's nice. Well, g'night, sweetheart." Imagine how angry she'd be if she knew I had been checking up on them!

"Night, Dad." She put her bookmark back in place and headed up the stairs to take her shower. Jasper and I kept a close eye on Charlie as he bummed around the kitchen for a few minutes, and he was soon snoring in bed.

Jasper relaxed his military posture, and turned to me.

"I picked up a little guilt, but no determination. You?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary. He seems resigned to the fact that he won't be seeing Bella as much now. And no plans to continue investigating. It looks like we're out of the woods."

"I've heard that before."

"I'll still keep a close eye over the next few nights."

"You should consider spending some time near the station. It seems he doesn't do much of his thinking at home…. and I'll feel a lot better when he throws out that folder he's got on us. Well, guess I'll drive back, since you're not allowed," he teased.

I smiled back. Jasper and I could get pretty fired up at each other sometimes – and his gift certainly had a tendency to make things escalate. But he and I understood each other, and we never stayed angry for long. My fights with Emmett were more physical, and were even more brief.

I crept around to Bella's window, and slipped in silently. To my surprise, Bella was already asleep as well. Her room was unusually cool, and she was curled up in a tight ball on the bed. I headed over to her closet and selected a thin blue blanket, gently draping it over her. As she warmed up, the tension in her body slowly relaxed and I finally laid down beside her.

She was obviously having some sort of dream – her brow was furrowed and her lips began moving after a while. I smiled automatically – this was the sign that she was about to start talking in her sleep. I waited, holding my breath. Would she talk about our conversation in the woods tonight?

"Extra cheese," she said suddenly, and I almost laughed out loud. My Bella…

She rolled over, planting her face into my chest and was silent for the next several hours. As I watched her, I tried to make sense of the feelings of unworthiness that Jasper had noticed. No matter how I looked at it, I couldn't understand how she could arrive at that conclusion. What could I do to make her understand that she had it backwards? I was the one who was unworthy of her. I loved her more every day, but the last twenty-four hours in particular had caused an extra surge of that love. I shared my family's pride in her adaptability, and although it had resulted in some unpleasantness, it had also resulted in a conversation that made me feel more loved.

Could it be that I had been underestimating her love for me? Like me, she seemed to think that I truly had no idea how deeply she cared. Perhaps I hadn't been giving her human feelings enough credit. If she was truly my mate – and she was, there was no point in denying it now – then perhaps she had been allotted the ability to love more than the average human. It was only fair, after all. And if this was true, maybe I had more reason to hope than I had previously thought. Maybe I really could hold Bella's love for the rest of her life. Maybe I wouldn't have to let her go within four or five years, after all. It was a sobering thought – it would mean no marriage or children for her – but it would always be her choice. I would watch carefully, and have Jasper visit from time to time to verify that she wasn't just staying with me out of duty.

My mind began to spin new ideas as I allowed myself this hope. If she really loved me for the rest of her life… new possibilities arose. I would get to stay and go through everything with her. Maybe we could work it out somehow that I could work alongside her in whatever career she chose – although that would get complicated with my lack of aging. Since she wouldn't be able to have children, she would probably want to work in some sort of field- I quickly tabulated a list of jobs that would work well with our having to move every few years. Of course, I could always stay in hiding at our home, but that would mean less hours together per day, and I would feel utterly useless.

As I raced through the years in my mind, more problems arose. As she grew older, we wouldn't be able to show our romantic feelings in public after a while. I wouldn't be able to help her care for Charlie in his old age. She would undoubtedly feel some regret as she watched her friends became mothers, and later, grandmothers. And I could just imagine the agony that I was going to feel when Bella's organs began to lose function in her sixties, seventies. I would have to keep up with cancer research, stay in contact with the best doctors as they graduated medical school…

I shook my head. As intoxicating as it was to finally allow myself to think this far ahead, I needed to stop planning Bella's life. It was her choice. It will always be her choice, I repeated with my jaws clenched in determination. Stop deciding everything before she has a chance to dream.

I looked back down at Bella. None of this future would hold any joy for her if she continued feeling unworthy of me. What could I say to help her understand?

Suddenly her brow furrowed again, and her hands became restless, as if she were trying to grab onto something. "You can't!" she blurted out suddenly.

I frowned, waiting for her to speak again. Can't what?

"Your family," she whispered.

Ah. She was reliving my idiotic slip about the suicide plan. If I had ever regretting telling her anything, that was it. The words had jumped out of my mouth before they could be stopped- I just couldn't let her think for another second that this was some kind of seventy-year fling. But what damage had I done by telling her?

"Not enough," she whimpered, and started crying.

I couldn't take any more of that. I gently shook her shoulder. "Bella. Bella, wake up, you're having a bad dream."

She gasped and sat straight up, looking around blearily until her eyes rested on me.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked carefully.

"Nope."

I frowned at her. "Bella… "

She woke up fully as she heard the disapproval in my voice. "What?"

"Jasper had something interesting to say when we came home last night."

"About the vote thing?"

"No, about you, and your apparent feeling of… of…" I couldn't say it. It was just so wrong. I took hold of her shoulders, shaking them gently. "Bella, I thought we understood one another! I mean, for a fairly intuitive person, you can be so obtuse!"

"I'm… sorry?"

I brushed her messy hair away from her face, leaning down until I was sure she was looking at me. "How can I make you understand that I'm the one who isn't worthy of you?"

Her blush rose so fast it took me by surprise, and I felt a sharp twinge in my throat. It hadn't happened in a while – not noticeably- and I swallowed the venom. This was exactly what I meant, of course. I wasn't even the right species for her.

She finally found her voice. "I'm not even on the same… you don't… Edward, I'm not even the right species for you!"

I chuckled darkly. "I was just thinking the same thing, but as an argument for my point of view."

"Well, that argument can easily be taken care of."

I closed my eyes. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"No. Seriously, how long do you think we would have? With my luck?"

"Bella, I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"You said it yourself. We're tempting fate here – she has it out for me."

"Can we get back on topic? Your ridiculous feeling of unworthiness."

She sighed. "I thought we were discussing yours?"

We both crossed our arms, smiling as we realized the mirror image we had just created. I shook my head. "Hmm. It appears we may be at another impasse."

"So, it's settled then. I'll feel unworthy of you, and you feel unworthy of me. Okay?" She stuck her hand out, and I tentatively reached up to shake it. Where was Jasper when I needed him? Her smile seemed genuine… if only I could hear her thoughts!

"Okay," I agreed, returning her smile. "Now that we've got that settled, there's the small matter of our anniversary."

"What anniversary?" she asked suspiciously.

"It's been a week since Charlie kicked me out. We're back in the clear now, and I think we should celebrate." The idea had just come to me… it did seem appropriate to celebrate, after all the stress we had gone through in the past week. A plan was forming in my mind, and Bella saw my growing smile.

"This had better not involve anything expensive," she grumbled.

I kissed her quickly on the nose. "No cost involved, I promise. It's going to take some preparation, though- I may need to disappear for a few hours. I'm sure Charlie wouldn't mind."

"True. Although he's not here to see you not be here."

"I'll come by around three. Oh- and dress warmly." I stood up and leaned back down to kiss her briefly.

"I'll miss you," she sighed.

"I'll miss you, too," I answered as I pulled the window open. "And I promise to feel unworthy the whole time."

She opened her mouth to argue, but I was already slamming the window behind me, laughing as I leapt into the sunrise.

.

.

.

I didn't actually need all day to make my plans. I needed to talk to Carlisle privately, and I knew he would be home from the hospital soon. I had a little time first to prepare for my date with Bella, though. As soon as I got home, I leapt up directly through my bedroom window; most of the family were in the living room and I didn't feel like talking to them yet. I showered and changed quickly, flying up into the attic to start my search.

"What are you banging around up here for?" asked Rosalie. She was balancing delicately on the top rung of the ladder, watching me as I moved around various trunks and boxes.

"I'm looking for my guitar," I said as I picked up a steamer trunk, peeked inside it, and tossed it over my shoulder.

"Which one?"

"Regular acoustic."

"It's over there, behind that black trunk."

I followed her gaze, and in a moment I was unlatching my guitar case. To my surprise, there was a hot pink guitar pick jammed between the strings. "Rosalie, have you been playing my guitar?" I asked, amused. I didn't know that she had ever tried it.

"I dabble here and there. Anyway, it's not like you've touched it since the sixties."

"I wasn't mad." Actually, Rosalie was the only member of my family I wasn't angry at right now, and I flashed her my biggest, toothiest grin: her favorite.

I carefully began tuning- I could tell from Rosalie's thoughts that it had been a few years since she had played it. She stayed where she was, watching as I gently coaxed the keys into position. Her thoughts were a tangle of broken sentences, automobile parts and beauty products.

"Edward?"

"Mm."

"I just wanted to apologize." The D string twanged suddenly under my thumb as I startled.

"I'm sorry, what?"

She growled gently. "I'm not repeating it." I'm sorry for being such a jerk to Bella. She's really a pretty smart girl.

I smiled. "Would this have anything to do with her refusing Carlisle's offer?"

"That… and yesterday. You know. Anyway, I'm going to try to be civil from now on."

"As far as I'm concerned, Rose, you've been the only civil member of this family in the last fourteen hours."

"Oh, you can't blame them. They only did it because they love Bella."

I scowled. "I can blame one of them." Speak of the devil- Carlisle's thoughts were already growing in my mind as he pulled off the highway.

Rosalie looked up a second later- she'd heard the engine. "Oh. Well, good luck with that."

I placed my guitar back in its case and carried it downstairs to the living room to wait for Carlisle. Alice and Jasper were snuggling on the couch, and Rosalie had just joined Emmett in playing a video game. Esme was sitting in the easy chair across the room, looking through a new cookbook. As I set down the guitar case by the door, she looked up at me apprehensively, flinching when she saw the look on my face.

Now, Edward, I know you're angry…

Was I angry at Esme? She had started this democracy nonsense, after all. No, I wasn't angry… I was disappointed, though. I had always been Esme's favorite. I had thought her love for me would keep her from disrespecting my wishes like she had. But she loved Bella now, too- she already considered her a daughter. This new love was what had finally driven her to meddle. I couldn't be angry with her for that. It was hard to be angry at Esme for anything.

"I'm not angry at you, Esme," I sighed.

She looked confused. "Then-"

The front door opened, and as soon as I saw Carlisle's face, all the anger came rushing back. I felt my fists clench against my sides, and I kept my mouth shut until I was sure I wouldn't say anything rash. I had never been this angry at him before.

"Carlisle," I finally ground out, "I'd like to speak to you… alone."

The living room was suddenly silent. Emmett had paused his video game, and Alice and Jasper's chatter died away.

Carlisle didn't seem surprised at my hostility – in fact, he frowned right back at me. "So would I, Edward," he answered sternly as he turned around and headed right back out the door. "Come on."