Chapter 14
Chief Boden called Casey and Severide into his office.
"Whaddya suppose he wants now?" Severide muttered under his breath.
"No clue…" Casey answered.
Their track record for getting called to the office wasn't so great. It usually meant something neither of them wanted to do…but they didn't really have a choice.
The last time the lieutenants got called in…they had ended up on this "Hollywood" roller coaster.
Kelly took a deep breath as he tapped on the door.
"Enter!" Boden called out.
The two friends shared a look…then Severide reached for the door handle.
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It was a full house.
Besides the chief…there was Dom Fraizer, one of the producers for the show, Chief Driscoll and Captain Mifflin from the Academy, and a bunch of guys neither Kelly nor Casey had ever seen before.
"Severide…Casey…c'mon in."Chief said.
"What's goin' on?" Casey asked.
"Let's introduce everybody first…" Fraizer said. "I'd like you to meet Nat Briggs and Dan Chason. They're our two main special effects coordinators. This is Michael Newman…he's set to direct our pilot…and Kenny Dieter, our stunt coordinator."
There were handshakes all around. Then Chief got down to business.
"Our friends here have made a request to have the two of you on the set when they start shooting next week. They've already sent it up the chain of command and the commissioner signed off on it this morning. So we won't be seeing much of each other for the next two weeks."
Chief didn't sound happy.
Neither was Severide.
"We don't get a say in this?" he asked.
It was one thing to be training the actors…that hadn't turned out to be so bad. They were all anxious to do a good job and come off as credible firefighters. But to essentially get benched for two weeks? That was a whole 'nother conversation.
Dom Fraizer looked Kelly in the eye.
"Safety is a real priority for us. We're gonna be putting our actors in some potentially hazardous situations…it'll be controlled to the best of our ability and we've got the best people working on this. But we want real firefighters there as an added precaution. And you two were asked for specifically…by the actors."
"What do we have to do?" Casey asked.
"You'll be right beside our leads…Lieutenant Severide, you'll be with Craddock. Lieutenant Casey will be with McEwan. They play their parts…but you're there in every fire scene…every accident scene. To give it the realism…and to take over if anything goes south."
Newman, the director reached into his valise and pulled out two scripts. He handed one to Casey and one to Severide.
"I'd like you gentlemen to go over these…"
"We've already read it…" Kelly said.
"I'd like you to pay particular attention to the scenes where we have a call out. Look at it from a technical and safety perspective. Jot down what you think we need to have on hand, anything you say, goes." Newman told them.
"Didn't you have people do this already?" Casey asked.
Newman nodded.
"Yeah…Chief Driscoll and Captain Mifflin have already given us a shopping list. Chief Boden made several suggestions as well. But you guys will be the" hands on" people. So we really need your input."
Severide and Casey walked out of the office.
"Looks like we got our work cut out for us…" Casey said.
"Let the games begin…" Severide said with a sigh.
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He told Alyssa about his new "assignment" when he got home the next morning.
And she just hugged him the best she could. She knew he wasn't happy about being pulled from Station 51.
"But Honey…" she told him. "Morgan'll probably feel a whole lot more comfortable knowing you're right there."
"I know…" Kelly said. "And in a way I am too...it's just…"
His voice trailed off.
"I know…" she told him. "But it'll all work out."
But when he went to work out she picked up the script.
And suddenly she wasn't so sure.
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The very first scenes involved a very familiar story.
She knew that a firefighter was going to be killed in the episode…and she knew that Craddock had created a back story similar to Kelly's story with Andy Darden. But as she read through the scenes once…twice…three times Alyssa got a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.
There wasn't time to talk when Kelly came back from the gym, because he had to go pick up Andy and Jesse from school. The baby was due in about seven weeks…and Alyssa was getting so she could barely waddle to the end of the driveway. Kelly didn't want her walking the three blocks to St. Pasqual's especially with the snow still on the ground and unforeseen ice patches.
Once he got back there was the usual rush of activity…getting changed out of their uniforms, snacks…home work. Then there was a baseball meeting at the park district and Kelly went to that. The twins were going to play t-ball again this year.
After dinner, the boys got their showers and into their pj's…then they did their reading…twenty minutes each…and finally...bed time.
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Alyssa was waiting when Kelly finished tucking the boys in.
He stretched out across their bed and held out his arms to her. Once she climbed up he pulled her down beside him and laid his hand on her stomach. He could feel the baby moving around…he could see Lyssa's shirt shifting.
"Kelly…I read the script while you were at the gym."
"And what'd you think?" he asked.
"It's good…" she said. "But I'm kinda worried about that opening sequence. Where the firefighter gets killed."
Kelly was tracing circles on her belly…waiting for the baby to settle.
He knew that part would upset her.
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He remembered the night he had first told her. It was their second date…well, third if you counted the night they met. She cooked dinner for him…and in the middle of dessert his shoulder had started acting up again. It was really, really painful…and he tried to downplay it…but Lyssa had seen right through his act. She promised to help him…and she asked if he had any injuries she should know about…so she didn't do anything to make it worse.
That night he told her almost everything about the fire that had killed his oldest friend. It was the first time he'd ever talked about it. He still remembered Alyssa's hands, soft and warm against his skin as she rubbed gentle circles on his shoulders…and how she had guided him down onto the bed and massaged away the pain and the tension that was just gnawing at him.
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Her voice brought him back to the present.
"Kelly?"
He sighed.
"I know you're worried, Babe." He said. "But I promised I'd do this thing…and we need the money."
"I don't care about the money, Kelly." She told him. "I'm worried about you."
"It'll be fine." He promised. "I'll be okay."
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Of course those were the first scenes they shot. It took two whole days…and those were two of the longest days Kelly could remember in…he didn't even know how long.
He was used to roll up on a scene…do what you had to do…wrap it up…get back to the house and get ready to do it all again the next time the bells went off. Having to stand around for hours while they got the scene set and the lighting just right…and reset all the pyrotechnics…was a new adventure in torture.
This was not a profession for someone with a short attention span.
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They started with some dialogue.
When they got on scene they jumped off the truck…and a woman ran up to "Lieutenant Perry", McEwan's character.
"My brother!" she cried. "My brother lives in the attic and he hasn't come out yet!"
"That window there?" McEwan asked, pointing to the dormer window at the front of the house.
"Yes…up there!" the woman told him.
Then Craddock's character, "Lieutenant Whitlock" jumped off the squad.
He "surveyed" the scene.
"He could be up there…on the stairs…anywhere…" he said. "We'll take the back. Case of beer says we get to him first."
"Just vent the back…" McEwan said.
Then he and "Hickson" went to raise the ladder.
"Has Whitlock always been such a cocky prick?" McEwan asked.
"Only since kindergarten…" "Hickson" replied, implying that long standing friendship.
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In the next sequence, Craddock was around the back of the house.
He stood on one side of the door and got his mask into place…Kelly stood on the other and did the same.
Kelly gave Morgan a subtle nod…and Morgan checked the door for heat.
Then he kicked it in…just the way Kelly had taught him.
They went in.
And they filmed the scene where the fire "exploded" up the staircase…and Kelly and Morgan barely got out of the way.
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Kelly was standing outside watching the sequence where "Hickson" broke the window pane with a Halligan. McEwan cautioned him…but "Hickson" insisted they were good.
And he went through the window.
In this version of events, McEwan's character followed "Hickson" and he also barely dove out of the way in time as the fire roared up the stairs and swallowed "Hickson" whole.
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It was late when Kelly finally got home.
He was dead on his feet…and he trudged up the stairs to shower while Alyssa heated his dinner.
While he ate Lyssa helped Andy and Jesse with their reading…and herded them up to bed.
He joined her in time to tuck them in and kiss them good-night. And once they had closed the door behind them Kelly draped his arm around his wife's shoulders and they made their way to their bedroom.
Kelly fell asleep as Alyssa gently rubbed his back…tracing slow, easy circles against his skin.
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And then he was back on the scene…only this time it was Andy instead of the fictional "Hickson" that broke the window. And this time Kelly saw the fireball shoot out the broken dormer window.
He woke up in a tangle of sheets, his entire body drenched with sweat. His heart was pounding in his chest, and his lungs burned as he struggled to catch his breath. It was like he had just run a mile going full out.
"Kelly!"
Alyssa was shaking him awake.
"Kelly!"
He opened his eyes…and he was in his room…in his bed. The moonlight spilled through the blinds, cutting slivers on the hardwood floor.
Alyssa sat up beside him, her hair spilling over her shoulders, her brown eyes wide with fear.
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The bedroom door burst open and Andy and Jesse came running in.
"Mommy! What was that noise?" Andy asked.
"It sounded like a animal!" Jesse added, his little voice trembling with fear.
"It's okay guys." Alyssa told them. "Daddy just had a bad dream, that's all."
The twins crept closer to the bed.
Kelly sat up…wiping his hands down his face…suddenly shivering in the damp chill of the night.
"Go back to bed, boys. I'll take care of Daddy." Lyssa said.
Andy and Jesse reluctantly turned and headed back to their room…stopping every couple of steps to look back at Kelly.
Alyssa put her arms around him.
"It's okay, Baby…" she whispered. "It was just a dream…you're safe now. You're okay…"
Kelly drew a ragged breath.
"Go make sure the boys are okay…" he told her, his voice trembling as he spoke.
"I'll be right back…" she said.
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She got out of bed and made her way down the hall to the twins' room.
Andy and Jesse has climbed back in their beds.
"Is Daddy okay?" Jesse asked as Alyssa tucked the covers around him and handed him his teddy.
"He's fine…" she whispered.
"What did he dream about?" Andy wondered as Lyssa tucked him in next.
"I don't know…" she said as she handed him his little firefighter that he'd gotten for his first birthday. "But it must have been really scary."
She kissed her sons once more, than went back to Kelly.
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His breathing was a little more even…and she went into the bathroom. She took a washcloth out of the linen closet and ran it under the hot water. She picked up a towel and took everything back to the bedroom.
Alyssa sat on the edge of the bed and gently sponged Kelly with the warm cloth and patted him dry with the towel. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight as he tried to concentrate on taking slow, deep breaths.
After a few minutes, she dropped the towel and the washcloth on the nightstand and climbed back into bed.
She took her husband in her arms.
He was still trembling with fear.
"Tell me, Kelly…" she whispered. "Tell me what happened."
His voice sounded very small…and very far away.
"It was Andy…Darden." He said. "He went through the window…and a fireball came exploding out…"
Alyssa nodded knowingly.
"It's okay, Baby…you're safe…it's okay…"
And Kelly buried his face against her breasts…his body convulsing with sobs as he finally…finally let it all go.
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When he couldn't cry another tear…he just held Lyssa close.
"When the fire blew up those stairs…I went flying. I hit the floor and I felt the tank slam the back of my neck. And my whole body went numb. I couldn't move." He said.
Alyssa hugged him as tight as she could.
"It seemed like forever…" he went on. "But it wasn't more than ten…maybe fifteen seconds. My PASS alarm never even went off. I got up…grabbed Capp…and got the hell outta there!"
"It's okay…" Alyssa whispered.
He'd never told her this part…the only people who knew were the ones who were there.
"We stumbled around front…my body felt weird…like I wasn't in control. Like I was drunk or something…and when we got there…everybody was just standing there…looking at that goddamn window."
Alyssa kept rubbing his back.
"I was trying to clear my head. I looked around…took a quick head count…and I said 'Where's Andy?' But nobody said anything. Casey came down the ladder…like he was moving in slow motion. 'Where's Andy?' I said again. And then I knew. Then I knew."
"Kelly…" Lyssa whispered.
"I tried to go back in. I ran for the ladder…the guys tried to stop me. I ran right into Casey…and he caught me. I punched him…right in the face…and a bunch of guys grabbed onto me. Capp…Hadley…Vargas…Cruz, Hermann…all of 'em. It took all of 'em to hold me back. I wanted to go get Andy! I wanted to get him…but they wouldn't let me! They said it was too late!"
"Kelly…"she whispered again. "I've got you, Honey…"
"He was my best friend…from the time we were five…when we moved in the building next door." Kelly said. "He was always there…always there…"
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He pulled the car to the side of the road and cut the engine.
"Daddy?" Andy asked. "Where are we?"
"C'mon…get out." Kelly told them.
The boys unbuckled their seat belts…wondering where Daddy was taking them. It was a quiet place…with lots of trees…and rows of stones sticking up from the ground.
Kelly opened the rear door…and Andy and Jesse slid out of the back seat.
He took his sons by the hands…and led them between the stones till he came to one next to a big tree.
Kelly knelt down and brushed his hand over the stone in the ground.
Andy and Jesse looked down at the words…
Andrew Darden
October 30, 1976-August 2, 2012
"Daddy?" Jesse asked.
Kelly looked up at his sons. His eyes shone bright with tears that threatened to fall at any moment.
He took a deep breath to pull himself together.
"This was my oldest…best…friend." He said. "I knew him since I was even younger than you. He was a firefighter…"
He looked at Andy.
"That's where Mom and I got your name, Buddy. Even before you were born…I told her if we had a boy I wanted his name to be Andy."