Notice
Dear fellow readers,
Hi I'm your author Universal Sweetheart. I'm delivering this chapter to u in very bad news. Lately I received a review that has impacted me greatly it reads as followed:
I find your writing to be disgusting and I am not referring to the plot of the story, I am referring to your butchery of the English language. How old are you to be writing about sadomasochism and yet fail so horrendously in spelling and basic grammatical forms? Your writing is on par with someone still in elementary school, I see no evidence of someone who has a decent grasp of basic literary etiquette, and I see no evidence of someone who is competent enough to serve as a Beta under any circumstances. You suck as a writer.
You are delusional if you think anyone with a decent education and understanding of English would not notice your failure, your reviewers are in the same boat as you and hold no bearing on the matter. Illiterates will attract other illiterates after all.
Your depiction of sadomasochism is pitiful, your scenes left me greatly disappointed and unsatisfied. There was no emotion, no passion, no life or interest in the torture scenes - instead they were lifeless and boring. Either you have no real understanding of the SM lifestyle or you are simply incapable of articulating yourself correctly; regardless of the reasons your depiction is a pale imitation of the real thing and further illustrates how you fail as a decent writer.
Sanelle is a dullard; I imagine banging her would be no different than banging a frozen corpse - if anything the corpse might prove to be a more interesting lay. The fact is she is as interesting to read, as a pile of manure is to smell, she lacks vitality, she lacks intelligence, and she lacks appeal. She is depressingly morose at times and impossibly immature at others, if a person has to grind their teeth to tolerate an insert the writer has obviously failed to develop a character of worth. By the time I reached the end of the available chapters, I was more than eager to see Sebastian gut her, piss on her remains and set her on fire.
Your depiction of Sebastian is disgusting, Sanelle was bad enough, but with Sebastian, you completely butchered him. I can see him being a dominating and cruel Master. Do I see him falling to pieces and obsessing over a pathetic specimen like Sanelle? You have to be kidding; the idea alone has left me queasy and ready to spew all over this pile of manure. His torturing Ciel sounds more plausible than his feelings of fluff and caring for a specimen whose sole purpose is to act as his slave and a hole for him to stick his dick.
Your sex scenes are amateurish; I expect scenes like this from an inexperienced teen make believing they know about sex. I expect better from someone who is old and experienced enough to know what it is really like, unless you really are the inexperienced teen trying to pass off as an adult, which would actually explain a lot.
Your writing is predictable, which is a death sentence in fiction. You embellish upon Sebastian's attraction for female inserts he would not glance at under normal circumstances, you have him behaving in bizarrely possessive ways that almost seem maniacal and deranged. He agonizes over his attraction and how being a demon he should not be feeling this way. You include Claude and of course, he expresses an interest to some degree in the female. You also tend to belittle Ciel's character, which begs the question of why do you use him if you hate him so much.
Your spelling and grammar interfere with the readability of your story greatly, your imagery is dull and amateurish, and your characterization is pitiful. In short, your skills in writing are pisspoor and juvenile, I see no talent here worth praising; your "skills" are a joke.
I do not care if anyone should dislike anything I have said, your opinion means nothing to me, but feel free to whine like a baby if you must. I am a sadist who luxuriates in your discomfort, please do entertain me with your whines of discontent - they will amuse me greatly.
Whether you choose to believe me or not it is up to you or you can check my review box. The thing is, this is my first time going at this. No I do not have sex experience I'm still a virgin I am 15 and I love reading erotic novels and romance ones too. I mixed my lust with my love for writing and also with my fondness of anime andthat is how blood and lust came by. I truly did, for a second there, believe I had a wonderful story and also that I had a good plot and stuff going on but receiving this review has opened my eyes to only realize that there might be a possibility that I'm writing shit. I can't review to the person who did that so I guess there's no way he or she would ever get my reply I just have one thing to say though if he got the chance to see this
If you hate my story so much why did you not stop after the first chapter
Why would my 'pityful story' take a good few minutes of your time to write a review
If you hate my story so much…why did you even review
Probably you don't hate it but you do look down on it
And why did you block me from being able to reply? You know that show's how less of a person you are if you can throw words but you can't take some. All mouth and no action eh?
Anyways if you do get this I have two words for you. Thank You. You gave your time and effort to give me those 691 words press the post button and wow….you even went through my entire 19 chapters! Well, thank you. Thank you thank you thank you
As for my other reviewers as I said I am morbidly depressed. This is my second flame I've got since I've been on fanfiction for almost a year now but my first for blodd and Lust. There goes my lovely afternoon down the drain. Bleh. I want to end the story. I'm not looking for more reviews but can you guys honestly take the time to tell me what you truly think about it. Its on the verge of being stopped or deleted so if you want to see more of it causei actually have more ideas, thennnn, just tell me what you think.
Thank you
Yours truly
Universal sweetheart