I am sorry that it took a little longer to update but at least this chapter is a rather long one.^^ So please enjoy it.
Since I didn't want to make you wait any longer I didn't had the time to read through it a second time, so please excuse any mistakes you find.
I made a mistake in the previous chapter. I wrote that Galadriel and Celeborn were heading to her father's house, but that is not true. Actually Celeborn is still in Middle-earth. I really don't know why I didn't notice this earlier because I had already written a scene with him in Middle-earth for the last chapter… so stupid… -.-
Elrond put some books back to their respective places on the shelf and rearranged them when the last in the row kept falling over. It was raining outside and he was alone. Celebrian had gone to Tirion to visit her family and would stay there for a while. When she would come back, she wouldn't be alone. After spending some time in the house of King Finarfin in Tirion Galadriel had decided to move to his house for she missed the trees and the peace only a forest could offer. Something she could easily get in this house that had been inspired by the open architecture of Imladris. And she wanted to catch up on the time she had lost with her only child. Galadriel hadn't condemned him for losing his heart to another. In fact Galadriel had known it for quite a while and as he knew now she had foreseen it even before Celebrian had left Middle-earth behind. But she had warned him with a smile that he shouldn't venture too close to her father's house whose only grandchild Celebrian was. So he should have been glad that everything had fallen into place so perfectly and yet everything was farer from being perfect than ever. He wanted to talk to him so desperately. He looked at the row of books now standing neatly in front of him. If he could only talk to Thranduil. If he could just hear his calm voice. If he could just know if the Elvenking had received the message he had written so many years ago. If he had read it. If it had meant something to him! Elrond slumped down into the chair that stood in front of his desk. It was untidy. Parchments were scattered over the desk. He hadn't felt like keeping order since the chaos that reigned within him was far from being controlled. He felt so tired. And without him really noticing he grabbed one of the parchments that lay in front of him and a quill and began to write.
Thranduil,
It is raining right now and I am alone in this house, thus my mind started to wander again. I want you to know, that I am still waiting and my heart yearns for your arrival. Every time another ship arrived from Middle-earth I was full of hope but after some years without any sight from you or my sons I stopped going to the pier. My heart simply couldn't take it anymore. Some of the arriving elves told me what they had heard about you and your men freeing Greenwood the Great from what is left of Sauron's army. To me it sounds like you are reestablishing your kingdom. It sounds like you will not sail in the near future… if ever… And while I look at me and remember the weakened state I was in after Sauron's defeat, I wonder from where you get that strength to go on now that everything is over. But then I always knew you had it in you. I told you, you are no weak person. And yet I catch myself from time to time wishing your strength would fail you so that my waiting would finally end. I know I am being egoistic and I ask for your forgiveness…
###
Thranduil was standing in front of his desk, looking through some documents, when he heard someone entering his study. He didn't have to look up for he knew who had entered and why he had come to him, knew what he was going to tell him. He closed his eyes bracing his heart for what was to come.
"So now you are leaving me too.", he stated bitterly, putting the document he had held in his hand down.
"Then come with me, ada.", Legolas gently said, stopping a few meters behind his father, facing his father's back.
"With you and that dwarf?" Thranduil nearly had to laugh.
What a picture this would be! Two elves and one dwarf arriving together in the Undying Lands... They would laugh at them, would look down on them. Them arriving with a… a simple dwarf. No he wouldn't give them this satisfaction.
"I won't sail. My responsibilities lie with my people. And I will never set one foot on the shores of that land that belongs to the Valar." He nearly spat the last word.
Legolas' gaze dropped to the ground.
"So this is a farewell then.", he asked tentatively.
Thranduil took a deep breath.
"Yes, this is a farewell."
Legolas sighed.
"Then promise me that you remember that now there are two."
Thranduil turned around to face his son and gave him a questioning look.
"Two what?"
"Two persons waiting for you to sail to Valinor. For I haven't given up on you sailing someday. So I will wait for you to come and I am certain so does Lord Elrond."
Thranduil frowned, wondering why his son had suddenly brought up the Peredhel's name. But he wasn't in the least bit in the mood to talk about the former Lord of Imladris, he never had been in the past few years.
"That is not a good topic to talk about, just before you leave for good."
"There might be no other time, ada."
"That's fine with me. Some topics are better left alone." Especially this topic.
Legolas sighed.
"Why do you fight this friendship so much. I can't remember a time when you have been as much at ease as the time since your friendship with Lord Elrond had been implemented."
But Thranduil didn't answer, instead he turned and went to one of the sideboards on which a bottle of wine stood. Legolas watched his father's back. It hadn't escaped him that his father had gone back to being reserved and unapproachable, especially when it came to the friendship with the Lord of Imladris. This friendship, which had first let to him opening up. Legolas could only speculate about hat had led to the change in his father's attitude, for his father would never talk to him about something as personal as the friendship he had with Lord Elrond. Maybe it was it because Lord Elrond had decided to sail, leaving his father behind… But then when he thought about it, even though he couldn't pinpoint the exact moment his father's attitude had changed, he remembered it hadn't just started when Lord Elrond had sailed but years before that. But since his father and Lord Elrond had still frequently met until the latter had set sail, Legolas concluded that his father change wasn't because of a fight. He knew his father's character too well. His father would have stopped meeting with the Lord of Imladris immediately if there had been a major difference in opinions. So for him it made absolutely no sense that his father became so guarded about the friendship with the Lord of Imladris. A friendship he knew his father had cherished… Something that had never happened as long as Legolas could remember. He watched his father uncorking the bottle of wine and pouring himself a glass. His father, the distant Elvenking, never had had any friends or confidants. Even between him and his wife there had been no love lost he had been told, even though the unwillingness had originated more from his mother's side. So he only knew his father as being a lone and secluded person. It had always hurt him to see his father so alone and it still did now, even though he now knew the reasons for his father's self-imposed isolation. And then… then it dawned on him.
"You are not fighting the friendship, you are fighting something else!", he said more to himself than to his father.
But when he saw a minimal change in his father's posture he knew he had heard and he knew he was right. With a few steps he was beside his father who was just about to drink a huge glass of wine, presumably trying to drown some unwanted feelings and grabbed his father's wrist.
"Ada. Look at me."
But his father wasn't someone to take orders and thus it didn't surprise him when his father didn't turn his head to look at him, so he continued with a softer voice.
"You are fighting, what Lord Elrond has become to you."
Thranduil wrested his wrist free.
"That is not of your concern." His voice was cold and harsh.
"It might not be, but you are. You are of my concern, ada."
Only now did Thranduil turn around to face his son.
"I pushed you away, ionneg."
But Legolas shook his head.
"You tried, but I didn't let you. Because I remembered how you were when I was little, how you held me close, how you cared for me and protected me. And I knew, that the love you had for me then, was still in you all that time, although I didn't know why you had changed, why you had buried it deep down. We only had each other."
His father didn't avert his eyes and Legolas knew that even today he wouldn't get an answer. And he most likely never would. But it was fine with him. He was glad that his father had at least opened up again in the last few centuries. And he knew that he owed that to the Lord of Imladris.
"He did you so much good."
And suddenly Legolas saw a change in his father's pale blue eyes, saw the pain and sadness within.
"I don't want to talk about him."
"Father…" But Thranduil raised his hand, silently stopping his son.
"Don't. He is in Valinor with his beloved wife, where he longed to be for centuries, where he can recover and heal. And I will stay here in Middle-earth with my kin. It is my decision to stay, like it was his and yours to sail. So don't."
Legolas opened his mouth to say something, but his father beat him to it.
"Please, ionneg."
Legolas looked at his father in surprise. His father, King of the Woodland Realm never begged… had never begged until… until he had met the Lord of Imladris. And he wondered how deeply his father had been touched by Lord Elrond.
"Do you remember your favorite spot of the forest when you were still a young elfling?", his father suddenly asked, changing the topic and Legolas, seeing how much the topic of Lord Elrond obviously disturbed his father, accepted it. And he wouldn't force his father.
"Of course. That place where thousands of fireflies danced through the night. You showed it to me, when I so desperately wanted to see the vast sky and the countless stars described in a story you had read to me. But the trees were still too high for me to climb them then. So you took me there instead."
Thranduil smiled sadly.
"Yes, that place. You were so young then."
He held out his hand.
"We should go there… one last time."
Legolas smiled back and took his father's hand into his own.
###
Elrond was walking besides his former king through the streets of Tirion. He had decided that change of scenery would do him some good, would take his mind off of the Elvenking that still resided in Middle-earth. So he had gone to Tirion and met with his old friend. Ereinion was eager to know everything that he had done after the Last Alliance. But right now they shared a moment of silence and just walked next to each other, enjoying the peaceful afternoon.
"She told me that she has lost your love.", Ereinion suddenly said without preamble.
Elrond knew Celebrian had met with Ereinion during her stays in Tirion but he hadn't known that she had talked with Ereinion about the state of their relationship. Up till now it was rather unknown that they were no longer a couple since they lived outside of the city.
"Say, mellon nin, is there no hope for the two of you?"
Elrond halted and turned towards his old friend, who also stopped. He glowered at him, not quite sure if he really should be angry that his friend would ask something so intimate. Ereinion immediately raised his hands in defense.
"I am sorry. It wasn't my intention to pry."
"Really? Because it sounded exactly like prying."
Ereinion laughed.
"Forgive me, Elrond. I'm just concerned for you."
Elrond knew he was right. They had had been close friends for ages and Ereinion had never done anything to discredit him. But he had forgotten how it felt to have a friend with whom he could talk about certain affairs of the heart.
"No need to apologize. But you are right. There is no hope for the two of us."
Ereinion sighed and closed his eyes for a short moment.
"Do I know her? Celebrian told me she is of noble descent."
Now it was Elrond, who sighed. There we go again.
"Yes, indeed, you were acquainted."
Ereinion looked at him questioningly.
"Wherefrom? Did we meet in Lindon?"
"Yes, a few times."
"Noldorin?"
If only Thranduil could hear you calling him a Noldo, he would even hate you more, Elrond thought. He was certain that Thranduil still had a slight dislike for the Noldor like so many Sindar, especially since his father had witnessed the Second Kinslaying in Doriath with his own eyes.
"I'm afraid not:"
"A Sinda then?"
"Yes."
He decided to make it easier for Ereinion.
"But the meetings in Lindon might not be the ones you remember, for there was another meeting far more memorable."
"Where then? In Imladris?"
"No."
Elrond let his gaze drop to the ground, when the memories of this place resurfaced for just the blink of a second.
"A far darker place. A place you didn't leave alive."
He fought the memories of a dying Ereinion.
"Dagorlad?", Ereinion asked and when Elrond nodded he looked up into the blue sky, thinking.
It wasn't for the first time that Elrond noticed that his own death left Ereinion cold, while he himself had never managed to get these pictures, the pictures of his dying friend, out of his head. And thus while he wrestled some of his worst memories, Ereinion was fully concentrated on solving the mystery of his friend's new love.
"I fear for your sanity, mellon nin! There was no such maiden present! At least I don't recall meeting any maiden there that matches your description."
So this was it… the moment. Elrond looked his friend directly into his eyes and the smile on Ereinion's lips disappeared. Ereinion knew that something was off.
"What is it, mellon nin?"
Elrond swallowed.
"I never said that it was a maiden."
Elrond watched as it dawned on Ereinion, watched as his face fell. He had been slightly quicker than Celebrian.
"Don't tell me you are talking about Thranduil Oropherion?!"
Elrond sighed.
"Then, my friend, I would have to lie."
When Ereinion didn't say anything for quite a while, Elrond turned around and continued to walk down the road. He wouldn't wait for Ereinion to speak ill of Thranduil for he knew there was neither friendship nor esteem lost between the two Elvenkings. He would talk about it but only if Ereinion accepted his choice. He had followed Gil-Galad long enough, now it was time that Gil-Galad followed him. And indeed, to Elrond's surprise Ereinion caught up to him.
"Elrond, wait!"
He turned around and faced his friend.
"When? How? There was nothing but hate coming from his side when we last met. Not only towards me but also towards you. Did you… did your heart already belong to him then?"
Elrond nearly laughed.
"No! Do you really think I would have taken Celebrian as my wife, when my heart already belonged to someone else? There might have been no hate between us, from my point of view but neither was there any sympathy. Compassion maybe, because he had lost his father but then so many of us had lost someone… I then thought that he was simply arrogant. I never knew what load he was carrying on his shoulders…"
Elrond remembered Thranduil, then new King of the Woodland Realm, and his temper at Dagorlad. Thranduil had been unwilling to listen to their plans and strategies. He had claimed that they were willingly risking the lives of his people, letting them fight at the most dangerous places in order to save as many Noldor as possible, who were obviously that more valuable than his kin. It had been a severe accusation even if spoken in the heat of the moment. They had all been at their worst then, but Thranduil had been the only one to openly show it. And that trait of him, to not hold back frustration and enragement, to speak openly ignoring all matters of courtesy, was still present and it made him so different from all the other elves. It made him special.
"I remember, he was very talented in wielding twin swords.", Ereinion suddenly said quietly.
"He still is."
A smile appeared on Elrond's face as he remembered the few occasions they had decided to compare their fighting skills during Thranduil's stay in Imladris.
"Don't tell me my herald lost the sparring matches against the King of the Woodland Realm.", Ereinion asked in mock-seriousness.
"I am afraid so, my king. If I hadn't known of his slightly limited field of vision on his left side, then I most likely would have lost more than half of the matches. With this knowledge however I could at least ensure that each of us ended up winning half of the matches."
Ereinion looked at him in surprise.
"Limited field of vision? What do you mean by that?"
"His left eye… He is blind in his left eye. He hides it well. You wouldn't notice it."
"I didn't know he was hurt at Dagorlad."
Elrond shook his head.
"He wasn't. It happened when he was still young, when his father fought the dragons in northern Middle-earth. It was a dragon's fire."
Ereinion shook his head in disbelieve.
"He survived Dagorlad, where so many excellent warriors lost their lives, even though he is blind in one eye?! And even though I always thought him to be a good warrior, I think I have underestimated his abilities… And I was shocked to learn that he shared his father's views. I had thought that he would be more open-minded since he had spent a part of his childhood in Lindon."
"But he still grew up with Oropher's views on the world."
When Ereinion suddenly turned away from him, showing him his backside Elrond knew that he wouldn't like what Ereinion would say next. Ereinion had never been able to look into his eyes when he had had to deliver bad news.
"What?", he asked impatiently.
"Elrond…", Ereinion began. "Oropher refused to leave the Halls of Mandos."
Elrond closed his eyes.
"You know how much he distrusted the Valar. He couldn't bear to live in Valinor. He preferred staying in the Halls of Mandos to living in the land of the Valar.", Ereinion continued and Elrond knew perfectly well what Ereinion was implying.
How strong had Oropher's influence on his son been? How probable was it that Thranduil followed his father's example and really never considered living in Valinor? Was Thranduil really lost to him forever? Elrond tried with all his power to push this thought far away to the very back of his mind, tried to ignore the doubt that was nagging at his heart. He wouldn't believe this, couldn't believe it because if he did… if he just thought for one moment, that Thranduil would never even in the far future come to Valinor, that he would never see the Elvenking again… then he was certain his heart would shatter.
"Did he tell you, that he would follow you?"
Elrond took a deep breath and shook his head.
"No, he told me, he would never sail."
"So he doesn't feel the same?", Ereinion asked tentatively.
Elrond sighed. How would he know?
"I never told him what I was feeling because I didn't know it myself." Because he had been too blind and too ignorant.
###
Thranduil sat on his throne in the main hall, taking a nip of the red wine in his glass and watched his people celebrating and drinking and being merry, while in him there was no merriness left. He felt numb and empty. And the wine tasted bitter and dull on his tongue. The rhythm of the music didn't catch him and he felt so utterly out of place that the urge to just leave was nearly too strong to fight it back. And yet the night was still young. It would arise questions if he already left, because he had never left early. And for a brief moment he had thought about benumbing his senses and feelings with alcohol in order to forget at least for a few hours about the Peredhel. But this had been before he had tasted the wine, before he had noticed that his senses were already playing tricks with his tormented mind. Never could he drink enough of that awful wine for it to have an effect on his feelings. So instead he was now sitting here watching his people celebrating, while he just wanted to leave, to lie back and feel nothing.
"My lord, are you not feeling well?"
Thranduil looked up from the glass in his hand, which he had been swirling absent-mindedly, focused on the vortex of red liquid, red like the fresh blood he had seen too often in his life seeping out of warm and cold bodies alike. He glowered at his guard who had uttered the question and was now standing in front of him, he waved him off without a word. The music kept invading his ears and he felt a headache coming. He hadn't slept well the past few weeks because too many memories ran though his mind and he went to the library in order to look for a book that would take his mind off of those memories. It took quite a while now for him to find a book he didn't already know. He took another sip of his wine. The awful taste nauseated him. He massaged his temples but it didn't help to fight off the headache. Insufferable… This situation was just insufferable. He rose to his feed and as some of his people that were close to him stopped laughing, talking and drinking he told them to go on with a short wave of his hand, before escaping through the nearest door. It didn't take him long to reach his chambers. With a sigh of relief he closed the doors behind him, noticing that he still held the glass of wine in his hand. Sighing he went over to his desk, which he had nearly reached, when the room suddenly started to spin. He stopped dead in his tracks, trying to regain control over his body, but the room kept on spinning, throwing him of balance. He tried to reach his desk with his free hand, looking for something that would prevent him from falling. Too late. He lost his footing and fell backwards. He heard the glass shatter into thousand pieces on the floor next to him, before he landed with his back on the soft ground. Elves, clad in full armor were running past him, others ran to him and fell to their knees next to him, bending over him, screaming for a healer. He didn't feel anything and he couldn't move. He felt oddly detached from what was happening around him. His gaze was directed skywards. It was painted in red… flame red. This sky… he would remember this particular red sky as long as he lived, the gleaming rain of countless sparks, the hot air, which had made every breath nearly unbearable. A face appeared in his field of vision, a face he hadn't seen for a long time, a face crowned with silver hair…
"Father…"
"Sh, ionneg, don't speak. You are going to be fine! Stay with me! Please, I am begging you, stay with me!"
The fear he could see in his father's eyes was overwhelming. And yet in the end he had stayed… his father had been the one who had left.
"The healer, my lord!", he heard someone say and a second face appeared in his field of vision. A face that didn't belong here.
"A dragon's fire!"
Elrond touched his cheek with his hand and with the touch the pain came. Suddenly he could feel the flames again, burning him, eating away his flesh to the bones, setting his nerves on fire, burning through his whole body. And he could only scream until darkness overcame him, freed him from the pain… at least temporarily. When he reopened his eyes he could see her golden hair swaying in a light summer breeze, could hear her clear laughter, could see how her beautiful face turned into a face of utter disgust and repulsion. It had shattered his heart so utterly that when they had shown him her disfigured corpse, an indifferent shrug and a dismissive wave of his hand had been all he could spare for her.
"A dragon's fire!"
Elrond was standing in front of him, reaching out to him, softly touching his disfigured face like he had done so often. No sign of disgust evident on the Peredhel's face. There was just this soft touch, a touch that had been the first for him to feel after so many centuries. They were looking into each others' eyes. Eyes, he would never see again, a touch he would never feel again. He closed his eyes, trying to focus exclusively on Elrond's touch. However it vanished and when he snapped his eyes open he was facing the ceiling of his study. His right hand lay in a puddle, presumably the red wine that had still been in the glass when he had dropped it. And as he lay there he noticed that while he had thought all this time that his left eye was utterly useless… it could still produce a tear.
###
When Ereinion walked the down the corridor leading to Elrond's study he hesitated for the blink of a second as he saw a Sindarin elf and… a dwarf coming towards him. Both of them he had never seen. He was sure of that. And after overcoming the first shock of seeing a dwarf in Valinor he noticed that the elf's features were kind of familiar. They greeted each other with a slight bow of their heads as they passed each other. And Ereinion wondered why this elf looked so familiar.
Ereinion entered Elrond's study and saw his former herald sitting slumped down on a chair his head buried in his hands.
"Who was this?"
Elrond raised his head, surprise evident in his eyes. Obviously he hadn't noticed Ereinion entering the room.
"This was Legolas Thranduilion and Gimli, son of Glóin."
So that was why this elf looked so familiar to him even though he knew he had never seen him before. It was Thranduil's son. And he couldn't deny that he had inherited some of his father's beauty. Even though their relationship might have been strained there was no denying that Thranduil's beauty surpassed the beauty of most elves. A fact that had been no secret among the elves in Middle-earth. But Thranduil's cold and distant demeanor had diminished the outward perception of his beauty. And later on he was mostly renowned for his unapproachable and harsh personality. And from what Ereinion had heard this hadn't changed after the defeat of Sauron.
"They arrived today."
And the look of desperation on his former herald's face told Ereinion all he had to know.
"He came alone."
Elrond stood up and turned around to his desk, leaning on it for support.
"No, are you not listening?! He came with his friend!"
Elrond's voice had become harsh and unforgiving, something Ereinion had rarely witnessed during all those years they had known each other. And it told him how much his friend was actually suffering for Elrond was known for his calm and patient character.
"Did he have a message for you?"
Elrond nodded.
"He told me that his father, King of the Woodland Realm sends me and my wife his best wishes."
Ereinion's heart went out to his friend. He could just try to imagine what a blow to the heart this message must have been.
"Surely, this wasn't everything, was it?"
He wanted to be angry at Thranduil for being so inconsiderate, but he couldn't because for once Thranduil actually hadn't done anything wrong. Thranduil didn't know what Elrond felt for him because Elrond had never told him and he didn't know that Elrond and Celebrian had ended their relationship, because there was simply no way he could have known.
"No, this wasn't everything. Obviously he is successfully strengthening his realm."
"But surely now that his son sailed he will follow someday."
"Legolas was the sole heir to the throne of the Woodland Realm. With him gone, there is no successor. Why should Thranduil leave his kin now when there is no one to take the throne?"
"So you think he lets his son sail without the intention of ever following him?!"
Elrond turned around and faced him.
"You of all people know the duties that come with being a king so don't judge him because I know that you would have done the same if you would have found yourself in his position."
Ereinion didn't avert his eyes.
"I know, but seeing you now and seeing the pain his actions inflict on you makes it hard not to see fault in anything that he does, rightful as it may be if considered rationally."
###
Legolas walked down the corridor next to his friend who was stopping now and then to take a closer look on a figurine or a graving.
"This house looks just like Rivendell."
Legolas smiled.
"Not quite, my friend, but very similar."
Gimli made a face, while Legolas took a look outside.
"And what have these sharp eyes of yours perceived to say this, if I may ask?"
"Take a look outside."
Gimli looked at him suspiciously before walking past him onto the balcony. It didn't take him long to discover the fair elven maiden down in the gardens. Gimli took a deep breath.
"Lady Galadriel."
„Have you ever seen her in Imladris?", Legolas asked with a raised eyebrow.
Gimli turned around, facing his friend, uttering a silent harrumph. Legolas could easily see how his friend slightly reddened and it didn't take long for Gimli to avert his eyes and instead study his hands.
"Why don't you go to her?", Legolas proposed and Gimli raised his gaze again.
"You think, I could do that?"
Legolas smiled at him.
"Why not? Go ahead, I will wait here. Take your time, there is no need to hurry anymore."
Gimli nodded.
"You are right. Maybe I should talk to her. She might want to know what happened after her departure."
Legolas knew better than to disappoint his friend by telling him that Lady Galadriel was most likely very well informed about the ongoings in Middle-earth.
"Yes, go ahead."
Gimli straightened himself and took another deep breath before he ventured of, looking for a way that lead into the gardens. Legolas walked onto the balcony and let his gaze wander over the beautiful landscape in front of him and then let it linger on the nearby forest. It was calling to him.
"Lindir told me that we have visitors from Middle-earth."
Legolas turned around and found himself face to face with a beautiful elven maiden he didn't know.
"So you are Legolas, Prince of the Woodland Realm?"
Legolas bowed, awed by her radiant appearance that was only surpassed by that of Lady Galadriel.
"Yes , my lady."
She smiled at him, but then she averted her gaze and looked past him. Legolas turned back to the gardens and followed her gaze. He saw his friend Gimli walking to Lady Galadriel who was smiling at the dwarf.
"So what Lindir said is true… a dwarf in Valinor. I thought I would never see one of these skilful smiths again. What a delight!"
"He was granted to sail to the West with me, due to him being an elf-friend."
"Ah, and for a short moment I feared for my mother's life. Because I know how annoying she can be and I assumed that maybe she has put him off during your stay in Lothlórien."
Legolas turned to the woman he now knew to be Celebrian, daughter of Celeborn and Galadriel and wife of Lord Elrond. And when he saw her smile he knew she had been jesting.
"I am glad to see you apparently fully recovered, Lady Celebrian."
"Thank you."
They heard laughter from the gardens and looked down to see Galadriel laughing.
"Do you already know where to stay?"
Celebrian stood now next to him near the balustrade.
"No, I don't have any relatives here. I was hoping to meet my grandfather but I was told he refused to leave the Halls of Mandos."
"I am afraid that is true."
"I was thinking of staying in the forest for a while."
He pointed to the forest nearby.
"Why don't you ask Elrond if you could stay here in his house? I am certain he would welcome you and your friend. And the forest is not far. But you have to ask him, for it is not my decision anymore."
He turned his head to her with a questioning look and she looked directly into his eyes.
"We are no longer husband and wife."
He turned fully to her.
"But why?"
He had heard about how desperate Lord Elrond had been when his love had sailed, how hard it had been for the Lord of Imladris to go on after that and how long it had taken him to recover at least so far to function again. All this had been evidence to him how deep the love between the Lord and Lady of Imladris had been. To hear now that this love hadn't survived a millennium of separation surprised him.
"He lost his heart to another."
He couldn't stand her piercing blue eyes and had to look away, because it made sense now, the way Lord Elrond's demeanor had changed after hearing the message from his father. How the Lord of Imladris had practically slumped down on his chair, as though he had lost all hope. And it even would explain his father's demeanor. Maybe he hadn't been sure how to treat Lord Elrond after knowing how the Lord of Imladris felt towards him, not wanting to end this deep friendship they had shared.
"My father…"
The silence of Lady Celebrian that ensued was answer enough.
"I am sorry… I didn't know…"
He felt her hand on his shoulder.
"We all didn't know, except for my mother. Even Elrond didn't know before he came to Valinor."
"What?" He turned around facing her again.
"He didn't tell my father?"
She looked at him, her eyes wide.
"No, he told us he didn't know what he was feeling, until he embraced me after arriving. After he felt that embracing me felt so wrong. Why?"
"Because my father… maybe…"
Could it be? Could it be that his father wasn't disturbed by the fact that his friend had left for Valinor but that the person he felt more than simple friendship for had left Middle-earth? Could it be that his father had finally found someone to open his heart to, after spending so many millennia alone?
"Because I think, he also feels more than friendship for Lord Elrond."
Her hand was on his arm, her grip strong, demanding.
"What makes you think that?"
And then he told her about the changes he had witnessed in his father, in his father's demeanor centuries before Lord Elrond had left and in the centuries that had followed after Lord Elrond's departure. Told her about his father's reactions when Lord Elrond's name had come up.
"There is something. And I know it is not hate, because I have seen him showing hate towards others constantly and I know him showing indifference towards others. But it wasn't anything of that. I have never seen him like that, so out of character. I thought about telling Lord Elrond when I met him today, but I decided against it. I didn't want to cause him any worries. For I knew how concerned he always was with my father's wellbeing but being here in Valinor there is nothing he could do to help him."
"I think you did right in not telling him."
"But why? Wouldn't it be a relief for him to know that my father might feel the same?"
But Lady Celebrian just shook her head.
"And then what, Prince Legolas? Did your father tell you he would follow you to Valinor?"
Legolas' gaze dropped to the ground.
"No, he told me he would never sail."
"Then why should we raise his hopes, when there is not even a slight chance of a happy end for him. Why let him hope in vain? It might sound cruel but maybe it is better for him not to know about your father's feelings. Maybe time will heal his heart if we don't raise new hopes."
Legolas nodded. He understood and he knew that Celebrian was right. It was in his father's hands now. There was nothing Lord Elrond could do. Lord Elrond's heart was in his father's hand. And he could only hope that his father knew how to handle it.
###
Thranduil wandered through the library, reading title after title while walking past the shelves. He was sure that meanwhile he knew the library by heart, knew which book would be the next in the row and the next after that and the next. It was for the first time in his life that a library didn't offer him any comfort. And even his duties as king didn't offer him any distraction anymore, now that no imminent dangers lurked at the borders of his kingdom anymore. There had been times, when being king of this small realm had caused him endless sleepless nights, but now he didn't have to fear for his kin anymore. Sure there was still a small number of orcs running around in his kingdom and he was certain that it would still take some time, till the Greenwood was again free of these hordes, but this was nothing that bothered anyone. They had faced far graver things. But now Dol Guldur was defeated, Sauron was defeated and Middle-earth was at peace. And while this was something he had wished for for so long, something he had never thought possible, something over which he should be relieved beyond words, now he felt worse than before. And he knew why, knew why his heart felt so heavy and yet so empty at the same time, but he also knew that he could do nothing against it. Elrond was gone, gone to a place he couldn't follow him, because it went against everything he believed in, against everything he was, against everything he had to go through in his life. And then his eyes landed on a spear hanging on the wall between some shelves and knew what he could do to numb his wild running feelings, to silence his heart, to distract him. He would hunt! He turned around enthusiastically and walked to his chambers with long strides in order to get his weapons. When he met Lórintal on his way he ordered her to saddle his horse and Lórintal bowed before hurrying in the direction of the stables.
Elrond put the saddle on his horse and fastened the saddle girth. The weather was nice and he knew he was too agitated to concentrate on a book. So sometimes like today he would take his horse and leave his house for a few hours because he needed a change of scenery to take his mind off the Elvenking. He got on his horse, led it out of the stables and enjoyed the sun that warmed his skin.
Thranduil followed the path with his horse only for a short while. He knew his forest too well and didn't depend on the path and his horse wouldn't be of any use in the thick forest that was the Greenwood. He let his horse chose its pace because he wasn't in a hurry. He had time. He knew orcs were in the forest. They had entered the forest after the War of the Ring, after their master's defeat. And while his men had been quite successful hunting them down, reducing their number they all knew there were still hordes of orcs roaming the forest. And he wouldn't wait until they slowly died due to the Greenwood being a hostile forest for all who didn't know how to live within it. And even though he knew that him riding out alone to hunt them was unwise, he didn't care. He needed distraction and distraction he would get from hunting the orcs that had dared to enter his kingdom.
Elrond lead his white horse down the small path that let into the forest that lay beneath his house. He knew the path quite well as well as the forest because he had ventured there quite often during the last few years since his library didn't offer him any distraction anymore, for by now he knew most of the parchments and books by heart. So instead he had started to explore the area surrounding his home and after a while he had noticed that the forest offered him some kind of ease he couldn't find anywhere else neither around nor in his own house. So when he reached the forest, he dropped the reins and let his horse choose its own pace. The horse nickered and trotted happily into the forest.
When Thranduil reached a spot where he could easily leave the path and venture into the thick forest he halted his horse and dismounted, leaving it standing on the path. He knew it would wait for him to come back, since it was well trained. He took a deep breath and entered the thick understory.
A sudden noise in the understory to Elrond's left caught his attention. The ears of his horse twitched. If he had been in Middle-earth he would have drawn his sword. But here in Valinor there was no reason to do that, there were not threats, no orcs, but he halted his horse nonetheless to take a closer look. There was the noise again and Elrond decided to dismount and to really take a closer look. He wouldn't say anything against a short little adventure. It would help him even more to not think about Thranduil. So he tied the reins around a nearby tree and left his horse on the path, while he left the path and went into the forest.
First Thranduil just went deeper into forest without having any particular destination. He was sure, if orcs were near he would sooner or later stumble across them, without actively searching for them. And he had time. There was no need to hurry. Nobody was waiting for him in his halls to return soon. Nothing was left to do in his kingdom like on so many days before, nothing to occupy himself with, nothing to divert himself.
The forest wasn't very thick and so Elrond had few problems to walk through the understory. But it didn't take long for the understory to become thicker and it slowed him down. And then it hit him, he had time… he didn't have to hurry. There was nothing to do for him in his house. He slowed down and patiently fought his way through the understory.
After walking through the forest for a few hours a smell entered Thranduil's nose, a smell he knew too well. A smell that let the bile rose in his throat but he followed the smell nonetheless because he knew it would lead him to his desired distraction. And the smell became stronger very quickly, while he followed it light-footedly. Soon he found footprints and small puddles of a foul-smelling and thick fluid. Twelve orcs and one of them injured and the trace they had left you couldn't miss. This was just too easy. He followed the traces and when he finally heard their voices he knew that they weren't too far ahead anymore. He simply followed the smell and their voices and only when he knew that he was close did he become more careful, using trees to hide. But he was too quiet and quick and they too loud and inattentive. So that he really didn't need to worry to be detected by any of the orcs. Obviously they felt secure enough to not appoint a watch. How stupid. And yet even if they had this wouldn't stop him. They were doomed anyway. The foul became too much and then he saw them crouched down on the forest floor. A horde of twelve orcs and one of them with a bleeding leg. Thranduil took his bow from his back and draw his first arrow, nocking it onto his bowstring and took aim.
Elrond walked into the direction where the nose had come from. A patch of mud on the forest floor told him everything what he had to know. A herd of deer had walked through it leaving behind numerous prints. They were still fresh, not older than a few minutes. It must have been a small herd, maybe not more than seven individuals. He had followed the traces a few minutes when he saw the first deer grazing in the distance. Carefully he got closer until he had a good view on them without disturbing them. And indeed the herd comprised seven individuals. Elrond had no problem to detect them even though they blended in perfectly well with the surrounding forest due to their brown fur.
Thranduil hit the first orc in the neck. The horde reacted immediately, some jerked around to where the arrow had obviously come from, while others ran to their comrade to tend for his wound. They didn't know yet that it would be in vain, he was already dead. Thranduil had made sure of that. A second and third orc were now dashing towards him, having spotted him. He pulled two arrows out of his quiver, notched them onto his bowstring and took aim, holding his bow horizontally. He hit both of them in the forehead, killing them instantly. A forth orc was directly behind them, running towards him and had nearly reached him, so Thranduil decided against nocking the arrow he had just drawn from his quiver onto his bowstring. Instead he dodged the blow the orc had aimed at him and simultaneously turned around his own axis using the momentum he had gained by doing so to ram the arrow in between two vertebrae severing the spinal cord of the orc who had by now ran past him,. The orc screamed and collapsed like a house of cards, as he lost control of his lower body. A fifth orc launched at him and Thranduil blocked the orc's mace above his head with his bow, while he unsheathed his sword with his right hand, cut his opponent's front open, used the momentum to whirl around and beheaded the orc who had dropped to his knees. He kicked the severed head and hit a sixth orc hard in the head with it, confusing him for the blink of a second he needed to bury his sword hilt-deep into the orc's ribcage. The orc at the brink of death tried to grab him, while Thranduil watched the rest of the horde dashing away. Obviously they had realized that they had no chance against him. He put his foot against the abdomen of the orc that still hung on his blade and pushed him away, freeing his blade. While still holding his sword he draw another arrow with two free fingers and notched it onto his bowstring, draw the bow and hit the seventh orc, who had been the last to flee with the other ones, because he had been injured, in the back, piercing his heart from behind. He watched the last orc disappear in a thick hedge in the distance and sighed. Cowards. He sheathed his sword and went back to the orc he had immobilized earlier. The orc had tried to crawl away but hadn't gotten very far. Thranduil stopped right before him and the orc looked up, looking directly into Thranduil's eyes. Thranduil draw his bow and took aim, killing the orc by driving an arrow into his brain through his left eye. Then he collected some of his arrows and set off to chase the rest of the horde.
Suddenly the deer raised their heads in alarm und looked around. Elrond also turned his head, for he too had heard another noise in the distance. But it had been too far away to imply any imminent danger to the deer. But he could clearly see that they were irritated and when the noise could be heard for a second time they fled over a nearby slope and disappeared into the thick forest. Elrond looked after them and after weighing his options he decided against going back to his horse for the sun was still high in the sky and thus he still had enough time left before it became dark. So rather than riding around aimlessly he decided t follow the deer. It would be a small challenge to track them down again, so at least his mind would be occupied.
Thranduil followed them through the hedge, because he could smell, that they didn't linger in it, but had broken through the hedge at the opposite side. The trace they had left told him that they were running towards a small brook that ran nearby. He climbed a small slope and found himself looking down at the remaining five orcs that were standing at the bank of the brook, which was rather deep at this spot. Obviously they were debating about whether to cross it or not. He draw another arrow and killed the eighth orc from where he stood, not bothering to hide, for he knew he wouldn't need to hide, not from this ridiculous horde of orcs. The orc he had hit fell into the brook and disappeared. The other orcs were facing him now and then dashed towards him screaming. Obviously they didn't bother that they had to fight uphill, giving him another advantage. He put the bow on his back, because killing them from where he stood would be too quick. Instead he unsheathed his sword and decided to meet them in the middle of the slope. He blocked the blow of one orc and simultaneously drew one of the two throwing knives he carried on his back, throwing it an orc who tried to attack him from the side. It hit him between his eyes and the orc fell backwards, being already dead when he hit the ground. When the orc in front of him tried to land a another blow he beat him to it and cut of his arm and with his second blow he cut open the throat of the tenth orc. The orc choked and collapsed. The last two orcs had obviously decided against fighting him, instead one of them was running along the river, while the second tried to cross the brook. And when he saw how the orc struggled he was sure he would drown without him having to do anything. He slowly walked down the slope and sheathed his sword. He took his bow from his back and drew an arrow from his quiver, aiming patiently at the orc running along the brook, while he noticed that the other orc's head had submerged. He took his time, giving the other orc some time to raise his hopes, when he actually was already dead, because he wouldn't escape his arrow that was for sure. He released the arrow, hitting the orc in his neck. But while he watched the orc collapse he detected a movement on the other side of the brook out of the corner of his eye.
Elrond broke through another thick shrub, bringing his arms in front of his face in order to protect it from being hit by the branches. And when he had finally freed himself he stopped dead in his tracks. In front of him was a small brook dividing a meadow into two parts. There was no sign of the deer he had followed but opposite to him on the other part of the meadow there he stood… a white stag. The stag watched him with his pale blue eyes, his head crowned with majestic antlers held high and his fur almost silver in the bright sun of the afternoon. A true king of the forest.
Thranduil turned around to where he had seen the movement, pulling an arrow out of his quiver, nocking it onto his bowstring, drawing the bow and taking aim in one fluid motion. He halted his fingers, which had been ready to release the arrow when he saw what he was aiming at. He blinked, not believing his eyes, but still the scene before him didn't change… The opposite bank was empty. There was… nothing. He had been so sure he had seen something move on the other side of the river. He slowly put his bow down. His eyes never betrayed him… his heart sank as a thought entered his mind. He whirled around to look at the dead orcs. Maybe his mind had tricked him again, as it had so often done, maybe the horde of orcs had only existed in his mind, and maybe he had just imagined everything. With shaking knees he went over to the orc that lay closest to him. With shaking hands he bent down to touch the dead orc, to make sure the orc was real. Relief washed over him as his fingers connected with the rough skin of the orc. They had been real! He hadn't imagined them. His mind hadn't tricked him. He let go of his bow, which fell to the ground unnoticed. Then he slumped down on a big root. He was so tired, so tired of not knowing what was real and what just imagination… his mind was so tired… tired of fighting the memories of the Peredhel that dared to appear in his head every day. All these past centuries he had fought those memories of the battles and wars he had fought, had been afraid of the memories finally catching up on him. But now he was sitting among slaughtered orcs, slaughtered by him with his own hands in order to divert his mind. His sole intention had been to find diversion, not to clean the Greenwood. He had killed, had waged war in order to drive the Peredhel from his mind. He had sought out what he had so desperately tried to forget, had enjoyed what had tortured his mind and soul all those past millennia, only to forget about the Peredhel, because the memories of the Peredhel caused him so much more pain than the memories from past battles ever could. They were memories of a time when he hadn't felt like an empty shell even though evil had lurked right outside of the borders of his realm. Memories of happier times during a time where he had thought death and despair was all he would find. And if Elrond could see him now, he was certain, he would turn away in disappointment and worse in disgust, because he had besmirched the memories of Elrond, who had tried everything in his power to help him overcome the memories that tormented his very soul. This was a thought that caused a sudden sharp pain in his heart. And only then did he realize how blind he had been all this time. Blind to that emptiness that had begun to grow in his heart the moment he had bid farewell to the Peredhel, to the emptiness that called out to the only being that had ever breached his cold exterior from the outside, blind to this unfamiliar longing that had manifested itself in his constant dreams of the Peredhel, who was out there, so far away from this very place. It was then that he felt the weight of his crown with all the responsibilities that came with it pressing down on him for the first time in millennia. It was tying him down to Middle-earth like a chain made of iron. He was so tired… tired of everything, tired of the lonely life he was living, tired of his responsibilities, tired of always putting his duties first and tired of this crown. And although most of his people wouldn't understand, he suddenly knew that he would give it all up, if he only could see Elrond again, if he only could have the chance of catching one quick glimpse of Elrond ever again. He buried his head in his hands… he had been so blind.
Thranduil stood in his chambers, took the crown from his head and looked at it for a few moments, turning it in his hands, tracing the delicate branches and the small red leaves that were growing on them with his fingers. Finally he took a deep breath and sighed before placing the crown on its cushion.
Ionneg = my son
Thranduil and Legolas going to Legolas' favorite place was inspired by Kinko-White's picture "Walking in Starlight". You can find it on deviantart.
The last part of Thranduil, where he thinks about his duties as king was partially inspired by Jack's Lament from A Nightmare before Christmas.^^ Love that song.
And I decided that Elrond would call Gil-Galad Ereinion to show their close friendship. Actually Gil-Galad should only appear once but you know… a High King taking orders from a mere human author… tzzz
As for the white stag: I first thought about Elrond seeing Thranduil but then I decided against it, because I didn't know how to explain it (save for some Vala decided to intervene) and it seemed to be a too direct approach. Then I decided to use some animals (I actually wanted Thranduil to see an animal to, but decided against it). So I just wrote that Elrond would see a stag, because a stag is sometimes considered "king of the forest" ( Bambi^^) and this would kind of hint at Thranduil, who is also some kind of a king of a forest. Then I decided to make it a white stag in order to hint at Thranduil (hair color). Then when I looked up what a white stag symbolizes I found that a white stag in some cultures is seen as a messenger from another world (often the afterworld), so this could be a hint at Middle-earth (if you consider Middle-earth to be "another world" compared to Valinor). A white stag can also symbolize change. So something is going to change. And then I found out that Bilbo and the dwarves saw some white deer upon entering Mirkwood. So the white stag also hints at Mirkwood. And since all of these aspects fitted so very well, I decided to keep the white stag in the story, although just that you know, the white stag is not Thranduil.^^
And the most important part. You might wonder why nobody was put off by the fact that Elrond fell in love with a male elf. Since I see the elves as being very open-minded and accepting I don't think they would have a problem with homosexuality. So this is how I see the elvish society. Maybe it is even quite common. And although Tolkien never mentioned homosexuality in his books: the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.^^
And last but not least if everything goes according to my plan, there is only one chapter left!^^